pic.twitter.com/unAe76ck6o

— Lu-Magia Hearns III (@Hearns_21) January 6, 2025

really hoping high character lu magia hearns is gonna be academically enrolled this spring to finish his works towards a berkeley degree, his odds of making a nfl roster as an undersized non sub 4.4 40 speed undrafted free agent are close to zero

chandler rogers is gonna use his junior college extra year of eligibility to enter the grad transfer portal, good luck to this hard worker who could shine as a mid major school qb1

2025 scholly roster departures: 30 departures at this moment

nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility
craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree
xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree
liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton degree
david reese, outside linebacker...out of eligibility...florida degree
lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...tulsa degree
ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree
tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree
will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree
victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree
chandler rogers, quarterback...grad transfer portal...louisiana monroe degree
corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree
matthew littlejohn, nickel...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree
lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility
marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree
ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity
kadarius calloway, running back...out of eligibility
matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree
jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree
nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree
brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree
bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal to arkansas state...no berkeley degree
nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree
josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal to oklahoma...no berkeley degree
mikey matthews, wide receiver...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree

2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on

matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets
barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program
isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets
patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins
raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree
ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program
tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree
kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree
blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree
jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree
sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn & oklahoma state...no berkeley degree
taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree
michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree
muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree
jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree
asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program
dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree
sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree
brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree
isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree
myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree
ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree
marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree
martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree
kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree
marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree
sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree
leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement...no berkeley degree
tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree

note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree
darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree
ryan lange, guard...football retirement...pursuing berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree
aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree



do u got premium 91 in ur tank??#

bencgilmore said:

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this thread is best when it focuses on positives like curvy yoga brunette females with smokeshow ponytails. i would suggest lets not knock young men for decisions they've made... you never know why decisions are made one way or another.

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benny, got no idea wut ur talking about, shocky is a dumb azz without a social filter *ay caramba

https://instagr.am/p/CvF6_qMrY0L

Shocky1 said:

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Novato Rules https://t.co/5Tlxt2Uydr

— Nick Rolovich (@NickRolovich) January 3, 2025

the pork potstickers at china palace & the downhill par 5 16th hole at indian valley RULE!!

https://instagr.am/p/DETFoKkMNjz
fun fact: ^ the above beverages are zero sugar root beers (from the whole foods on de long avenue)!!

don't be a dumb azz#

---

Offered! @CalFootball 100% Committed. All Glory to God. Ready to work. Go Bears! 🔵🐻🟡@CoachHarsin @NickRolovich @coachTcsm @CoachDovey @JUCOFFrenzy @BrandonHuffman pic.twitter.com/HBSdmYd1lN

— DOMINIC INGRASSIA (@Dom_Ingrassia14) January 6, 2025

KAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

6'4" 205 lbs quarterback dominic ingrassia from san mateo community college (the pipeline is wide open for high gpa ballers from the state jc champions!!) & san marin high school in novato

doms (not the curvy brunette yoga female with a ponytail) led ccsm to a state championship & wuz a first team state selection...check out the poise, vision of the field & decisive clean passing motion with a catchable ball of ingrassia who should have 4 years of eligibility...luv how doms holds the ball high near his helmet kinda like aaron rodgers until he's read to deliver a strike!

Dom Ingrassia ( Season Highlights )
•QB-College of San Mateo
•True Freshman Qualifier
•6’4 205lbs

✅JUCO NATIONAL CHAMPS💍
✅FIRST TEAM-ALL STATE
✅FIRST TEAM-ALL CONFERENCE
#BleedBlue @CoachDovey @coachTcsm @tlbutler5 @Ogthetruth @JUCOFFrenzy

🎥: https://t.co/wdqI7JEXJq pic.twitter.com/KYn7gPyUPW

— DOMINIC INGRASSIA (@Dom_Ingrassia14) December 20, 2024

ingrassia also won a california state championship at san marin with big wins over arch rivals stinson beach high school & caldecott tunnel high school and received a preferred walk on offer from the bears staff but opted to attend ccsm for the fall semester

as a mustang doms wuz coached up by rolo whose 3.9 gpa son daniel is now a highly regarded 2026 qb prospect

Happy Mothers Day from the Mustang Family! pic.twitter.com/O4W0l8lyHM

— Dominic Dimare (@dimare_dominic) May 12, 2024

yeah always great to see novato represent but with that being said there are doms more highly rated on the monster's war room big board

https://instagr.am/p/BqAsBkVHoG3
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including muir woods)

fun fact: shocky's 1st kiss in his life that did not involve his moms or a doggy dog wuz on the trail from muir woods down to stinson beach, ponytails r triggering!!

COMMITTED! Go Bears🐻! God is so good!!

Huge thanks to Aaron Perez @ThePuntFactory for making this happen! Let’s get to work! @CoachKirkMartin @4thandLongwell pic.twitter.com/6EjGYIQr7a

— Brook Honore (@HonoreBrook) January 6, 2025

welcome to the cal football family arkansas state transfer punter brock honore jr from manvel (near houston) texas, he's got 2 years of remaining eligibility

in his 3 seasons (2 at texas tech & 1 at arkansas state) honore has yet to punt in a college game, in high school he averaged 41.7 yards per punt & ranked as high as the #3 punter in his class

brock is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask buc-ee for directions to the university of calveston, high gpa academics in the acc without lousy azz texas weather)

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/C_Jal4qyFmZ
cal's monster class recruiting update:

arriving tomorrow (sunday) to cal on an official visit is washington portal transfer 6'6" 262 lbs apex predator edge defender jayden wayne from tacoma (spent his senior year of high school at the img academy in florida, a top 100 rated player in the nation), he's already spent a season in miami & seattle and now got 2 years of remaining eligibility



jayden is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 4.0 gpa

wayne got all the measurables of a greek god & takes care of his body, the biggest question is how much does he love playing football on a football field with a football??...if he brings a hunter barth or liam johnson level of passion to the game wayne is gonna be an impact destructive force of nature!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the cold as **** & dreary azz northwest)

---

BREAKING: Former Miami & Washington EDGE Jayden Wayne has Committed to Cal, he tells @on3sports

The 6’5 265 EDGE will have 2 years of eligibility remaining

Top 85 Recruit in the ‘23 Class (On3 Industry)https://t.co/RlUbB6Fk7q pic.twitter.com/0WNZjNN7By

— Hayes Fawcett (@Hayesfawcett3) January 7, 2025

KAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

if jayden is ready to go to work to fulfill his unlimited potential then this is a MONSTER recruit at a critical position of need on the defense!!

@CalFootball
READY TO GO TO WORK 💪🏿#GoBears #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/DoY4TV8WuZ

— ☆Jayden Wayne 1️⃣8️⃣ (@JaydenWayne8) January 7, 2025

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

KABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still available ! SEC starter, 2024 season captain, 700 game snaps 2 sacks, can play all 3 guard, tackle,center. https://t.co/0CpVUsGjji

— Jordan Moko (@moko_jordan) December 26, 2024

the bears gotta get significantly BIGGER on the o-line in the fall of 2025 & coach anae has gotten a signature from all world talent charlotte transfer 6"6" 325 lbs jordan moko from brisbane australia, he got 3 years of remaining eligibility...and the cal football program continued additions of poly brotherhood continues in berkeley!!

pic.twitter.com/FhnYM8GHhR

— Toni Growlzalez (@ToniGrowlzalez) January 7, 2025

jordan is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa



yeah jordan's worldwide journey starting in the land down under has had it's ups & downs (previously played at snow junior college and texas a&m), honestly think that with famika's mentoring both on & off the field that moko will develop into an all acc road grader!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including australia's gold coast)

The indoctrination you really need to be worried about... https://t.co/SS7ffNoCxk pic.twitter.com/4vmfJwp7jO

— Tyler Tomei (@TomeiTyler) January 7, 2025

berkeley is an academic school for high gpa intellectuals or something#

BearCam said:

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Shocky1 said:

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flounder said:

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arguably the worst take i've read on this board and there are lots. did you advise Aidan Lee, too?

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ATH🚨
6’2 215
WR/RB
Cal University/Bluefield State Transfer.
1 year of eligibility left. pic.twitter.com/2fwlviTCKd

— Aidan Lee (@lee_leeaidan) December 17, 2024

flounder, did u know that aiden lee attended "Cal University??"

u could not make this **** up

yeah since throwing away a berkeley degree, aiden has attended garden city community college, minot state, bluefield state & is now in the portal for his final year of eligibility...the 4.8 40/sub 3.0 gpa wideout/running back got no offers at this time & there's virtually no way for him to earn a college degree at this point with his scrambled transcripts

leidy (grew up in cuba) also don't gotta college degree but not all of life's rules apply to them FUN curvy brunette yoga females in their pursuits of generational wealth

https://instagr.am/p/C56Y3byvnv6

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Tough to be hard on Aidan. Cal was by far his best offer coming out of high school (only offered by FCS schools), and it's clear both he and the staff realized he wasn't an FBS talent. Given the choice of getting a Berkeley degree and giving up on football, I can see why he transferred.

By the way, the hit rate on the 2020 recruiting class was pretty awful. 3 reliable starters out of 25. Those guys would all be in their last year of eligibility now assuming a red shirt.

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Weird. I can't imagine why you would give up a free Berkeley degree to play minimal snaps of D2 at Bluefield State. He has no shot at making a single cent in pro-football so why give up a Berkeley degree? Horrible decision and horrible advisors. Truly, feel horrible for the young man.

agreed flounder, this is a sad situation with horrible decision making...honestly had never heard of bluefield state before aiden lee

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/B-p1rfAAZc3
aloha kakahiaka jaron,

wut up lefty??

i am fine

did u get on ur yoga mat this morning??

don't tell nobody but coach wilcox don't got a yoga/meditation practice & that's why he always looks like he's gonna stroke out...he should probably buy some term life insurance or something from bouza's broker asap

-shocky

https://instagr.am/p/DCs1f3jRDJe

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jaron, did u know that it's 36% degrees right now in eugene??

that's just too ******* freezing azz cold, brah

-shocky

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

jaydn crowder, corner/nickel (3.4 gpa)

2025 class:

jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
jaden mickey, corner/nickel (3.75 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (3.0+ gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (just ask the disney
wives)

https://instagr.am/p/DDWUBmOu9cQ
california golden bears scholly roster math is NOT confusing with the monster's simple to follow assistance: right now there are 29 new bears & 30 departing bears

got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DEc5YBjpl2I
fun fact: woodstock is a male azz stripper

Shocky1 said:

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The most violent and most athletic OT in the portal‼️‼️ pic.twitter.com/5i8AN33yqv

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) December 28, 2024

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

shocks luv this guy, 6'75" 320 lbs transfer portal offensive tackle brandon sneh from tiny wagner college (on staten island, new york) & high school in philly, he got 2 years of eligibility before he's inducted into the national football league hall of fame or something!!

Wagner OL Brandon Sneh visit schedule 👀

Colorado - Jan. 3rd-5th
Illinois - Jan. 6th-7th
Kansas State - Jan. 8th-9th
Houston - Jan. 10th-11th
Cal - Jan. 12th-13th

Portal: https://t.co/mp5mJmj3Lq pic.twitter.com/0a8B0bNzgz

— The Portal Report (@ThePortalReport) January 1, 2025

brandon is gonna visit a lotta cold azz igloo communities in a bunch of truck stop towns before his official visit to cali in the cosmopolitan san francisco bay area on january 12/13th, this guy is a mamushi killah and a star star star star star star



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD

---

^ official visit to the left coast got moved up

Had a great official visit at CAL @AnaeCoach #AGTG #GoBears #Ticket pic.twitter.com/198vaAJSgW

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) January 7, 2025

#AGTG Committing on the 9th

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) January 7, 2025

Shocky1 said:

---

cal's monster class message to the 2025 tropical thunder BIG 3 of aiden, lebron & jaron along with honorary members ben & tofi:

once u settle into the beautiful berkeley campus this summer, let's plan a roadtrip (shocky will play pasatiempo as the 1st out before the dawn & then meet up with u at mavericks that afternoon) 90 minutes south to santa cruz with the poly brahs like ej, stan, cade, aidan, tyson, meeks, benji, jaydn, sioape, etc. to check out the home of the largest documented waves on PLANET EARTH!!

maybe ask benji (with rolo as griller2 on stand by) to cook some bbq afterwards (with maybe a 1 drink max for some guys) & then work on our head/handstands afterwards (wut could possibly go wrong)??

JUNE OVs ✅
CAL Bay Area Showcase Camp ✅
VACATION MODE 🔛
MOOD: pic.twitter.com/6QMopqNKe1

— Benji Palu (@BenjiPalu_Cal) June 25, 2023

this **** is getting LIVE!!#

https://instagr.am/p/CZUlDjQrySJ

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Marsh & Benji pic.twitter.com/OMwwD98ZFV

— Famika Anae (@AnaeCoach) January 3, 2025

^ this is just messed up in so many kinda ways

wut up jordan?

ur invitation to mavericks this summer is in the mail, u can bring a kangaroo as ur plus one

namaste

-sjpclu

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/C4JTuMKv92m
^^ alky, agreed that yoga does not help prevent violent collisions but it does minimize the extent of INJURIES from such collisions



but let's be real here, the most important purpose of yoga is doing the hang with curvy brunette yoga females wearing lululemon & ****

https://instagr.am/p/CWcHMizpEjR
don't be a dumb azz (better to palm a tight azz)#

---

MONSTER honest feedback!!

at this morning's 9:30 am modern yoga class, anton made the following comment during a particularly challenging pose: "hopefully your all more flexible than me and shocky"

everybody laughed including shocks

the truth is that we all need honest feedback to become the best version of ourselves, that's why any bears leaving (or thinking of departing without a degree) berkeley like aiden & bobby need to be tole this is a dumb as **** move with 50 year financial & emotional implications (basically consequences)

but with that being said not everybody on planet earth wants honest (both good & bad) feedback...in fact shocky just tole benji (looks a lot like scrappy doo with a similar personality) to quit dry humping mugsy (a rescue cat who lived on the mean streets & survived)...benji immediately got off her so she could slink away with practiced indifference but not before giving me a stink eye look that said "keep your eyes on your own paper brah"

yeah reality is ******* overrated, that's why shocky (who gotta lotta monkey voices chattering in his head) is drawn to flawed/damaged humans & doggy dogs on planet earth

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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The most violent and most athletic OT in the portal‼️‼️ pic.twitter.com/5i8AN33yqv

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) December 28, 2024

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

shocks luv this guy, 6'75" 320 lbs transfer portal offensive tackle brandon sneh from tiny wagner college (on staten island, new york) & high school in philly, he got 2 years of eligibility before he's inducted into the national football league hall of fame or something!!

Wagner OL Brandon Sneh visit schedule 👀

Colorado - Jan. 3rd-5th
Illinois - Jan. 6th-7th
Kansas State - Jan. 8th-9th
Houston - Jan. 10th-11th
Cal - Jan. 12th-13th

Portal: https://t.co/mp5mJmj3Lq pic.twitter.com/0a8B0bNzgz

— The Portal Report (@ThePortalReport) January 1, 2025

brandon is gonna visit a lotta cold azz igloo communities in a bunch of truck stop towns before his official visit to cali in the cosmopolitan san francisco bay area on january 12/13th, this guy is a mamushi killah and a star star star star star star



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD

---

^ official visit to the left coast got moved up

Had a great official visit at CAL @AnaeCoach #AGTG #GoBears #Ticket pic.twitter.com/198vaAJSgW

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) January 7, 2025

#AGTG Committing on the 9th

— Brandon Sneh (@Buckz35) January 7, 2025

---

So much for visits on the 10th, 11th, 12th, & 13th.

^ pitts, thx sherlock & so much for the visits on the 6th, 7th, 8th & 9th to central park in new york city (love u, tay)



does justice every lose? (it does, from time to time)#

cal's monster class OFFICIAL perception vs reality:

coach wilcox's perception of modern yoga


california golden bears football players perception of shocky


california golden bears men's golf team perception of modern yoga


jaydn ott's perception of modern yoga
/

jaron keawe sagapolutele's perception of modern yoga
https://instagr.am/p/DCs1f3jRDJe
jaylen brown's perception of MONSTER yoga


modern yoga teachers perception of shocky
https://instagr.am/p/C9Vb3OvpIvy
shocky's perception of modern yoga


shocky's perception of triggering ponytails


buc-ee's perception of modern yoga


benji, beauty & misty mae's perception of dad at modern yoga


slim wadie & the majority of shocky's golf buddies perception of him at modern yoga


the REALITY of modern yoga
https://instagr.am/p/CWcHMizpEjR

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Had a great weekend at @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/zi79LSxvuY

— justin hasenhuetl 4⭐️ (@justinhasenhuet) November 27, 2024

cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

2025 current georgia tech commit 6'5" 290 lbs guard justin hasenhueti from koln, deustchland & currently attending rabun gap-nacoochee high school in rural northeast georgia (kinda near clemson) took an official trip to berkeley...shocky saw him pregame on the field & can confirm he's constructed like autobahn collision road grader!!

Senior season highlights 🏡?@coachdtwhite @JeremyO_Johnson @MattDeBary @theUCReport @DemetricDWarren @adamgorney @MohrRecruiting @chadsimmons_ @DAWGHZERECRUITS @gridironimports #Built4Shipshttps://t.co/t9RG6n0a5T

— justin hasenhuetl 4⭐️ (@justinhasenhuet) November 4, 2024

but yeah justin is not my favorite german

https://instagr.am/p/C2deK6DLdJr
justin hasenhueti is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.75 gpa with english as a 2nd language!!...where's georgia tech on this world list & why is it so ******* humid (with nasty azz bugs) in atlanta more than half the year??...sorry lance but putting on bug spray before teeing off at peachtree is not a lotta fun

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and the home of midnite city)



sei kein dummer azz#

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justin, hast du genug vom lausigen georgia, es ist pulloverwetter in kalifornien, also lass uns ein abenteuer erleben!!

-schulzie

https://instagr.am/p/C9A9wGORVO0

---

notice of correction: shocky made a dumb azz misinterpretation of justin's recruitment on another thread, MOMS love berkeley!!

Shocky1 said:

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Where is 🏡🤷❓ pic.twitter.com/tie9TzcAaj

— justin hasenhuetl 4⭐️ (@justinhasenhuet) December 2, 2024

https://instagr.am/p/CucbTn8M9LO
kaliforniens monster-offensivlinie#



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on PLANET EARTH (including berlin & the pacific coast highway)

---

Four-star offensive lineman Justin Hasenhuetl picking between three schools on Saturday.

Will he end up at Arkansas, Cal, or UNC?

The latest from check-in: https://t.co/T9cNDY5IIR@justinhasenhuet @247Sports pic.twitter.com/BOsGDcMRKw

— Tom Loy (@TomLoy247) January 6, 2025

wut up justin?

i am fine

listen to ur moms, she can help guide u thru this challenging process to ensure u make a 50 year decision (and not an emotional decision), right?

sei nicht so ein blodmann wie das monster

-schulzie

First stop: In-N-Out 🍔 pic.twitter.com/jioJQ068Xn

— NC State WBB 🐺🏀 (@PackWomensBball) January 8, 2025

the dinner of champions (burp)#

Cal's January 6th, 2025 transfer portal class will not soon be forgotten. #TheGoldenInsurrection https://t.co/aqmgtQMTVm pic.twitter.com/wwFqmmUCt2

— The Cattle Bear (@TheCattleBear) January 7, 2025

when is the cal woke azz mob gonna charge general knowlton's office (in colorado springs)??#

Cal Ohana, forever! #WelcomeJKS https://t.co/KasyprUkHL pic.twitter.com/HuAi244QV5

— The Cattle Bear (@TheCattleBear) January 6, 2025

https://instagr.am/p/C2vMVoiSfAW
polys love the san francisco bay area (freezing azz cold weather is for losers)#

🗒️ from the W at SMU:

🏀 Cal hit 🔟👌 for the 8⃣th time this year

🏀 Marta and Kayla combined for 6⃣ of 7⃣ from deep

🏀Cal had 3⃣ runs of at least 8⃣ - 0⃣ in the game

🏀 Bears went 5⃣0⃣-4⃣0⃣-9⃣0⃣ from the field, 3-point line and free throw line for the game#ThisIsWhatWeDo pic.twitter.com/mhx7gMid5i

— Cal Basketball (@CalWBBall) January 6, 2025

this **** matters but DEFENSE wins basketball games (men's team hasn't figured this out yet)#

Shocky1 said:

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te riley williams with the commitment to oregon state, simon mapa is likely gonna receive an actionable offer (current offer is conditional) from the staff

in benji we trust#

---

🔄#GoBears 🐻📈 pic.twitter.com/XvMsehaX8n

— Marshall Cherrington (@MWCherrington) January 8, 2025

unfortunately for mapa from the college of san mateo there is a tight end above him on the staff's big board, still rooting for simon to do great things!!

https://instagr.am/p/CvZcqQ5uqFg
let's walk 36 holes (with a 3.8 gpa)!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and only a short drive for the fam on gamedays from the architecturally significant alistar mackenzie designed sharp park)

100% Committed @CalFootball Let’s get to work!@Coach_Sooto @coach_schrider @hardee9596 @coachTcsm @Coach_Sekona @tlbutler5 @Ogthetruth @JuCoFootballACE @JUCOFFrenzy pic.twitter.com/D8HvW1Uv1O

— John Gayer (@JohnGayer96) January 8, 2025

KABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!

welcome 6'4" 245 lbs apex predator edge defender john gayer to the cal football family...bro led cali in sacks last season with 15.5 violent takedowns of candy azz soft quarterbacks!!

THE VOTES ARE IN!@CSM_Football DL John Gayer has been voted the 2024 CFBNETWORK JUCO Defensive Player of the Year pic.twitter.com/4lElevVEef

— The College Football Network (@thecfbnetwork) December 28, 2024

john played ball at the academically rigorous notre dame high school in sherman oaks near the studios, the fabulously tasty/healthy erewhon & lakeside golf club which got ridiculously small greens that need to be further expanded by todd eckenrode (who once asked me to write the club prez & greens chairman explaining why their stupid micro green sites are redunkulous from an authentic max behr architecture standpoint)

yeah the benji palu pipeline is flowing & at the some point in time the hawk is also gonna return to berkeley

John Gayer CSM Highlightshttps://t.co/G9oupFj2At
🔵6’4 245
🔵15.5 Sacks (1st in State)
🔵21.5 TFLs (1st in State)
🔵Bay 6 Defensive MVP
🔵3 for 2
🔵December Grad@coach_schrider @hardee9596 @coachTcsm @Coach_Sekona @tlbutler5 @Ogthetruth @JuCoFootballACE @JUCOFFrenzy pic.twitter.com/p73lL7WpTN

— John Gayer (@JohnGayer96) December 16, 2024

the college of san ateo bulldogs=#1 state championship team that relentlessly combines athletic with academic success 24/7/365

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CvZcqQ5uqFg
let's walk 36 holes (with a 3.8 gpa)!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and only a short drive for the fam on gamedays from the architecturally significant alistar mackenzie designed sharp park)

---

We Home!!🐻🐻 #Committed Let's Work!! @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/URuASge9de

— Mason Mini (@MasonMini4) January 8, 2025

KAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOONMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

congrats to idaho transfer & michigan state decommit 6'5" 240 lbs tight end mason mini from pacifica but to tell u the truth the happiest peeps are probably his parents, have u evah tried to buy plane tixs, hotels & car rentals to freezing azz igloo communities like moscow idaho & east lansing michigan??...pretty sure the drive to gamedays from pacifica to berkeley will be 2-3 gallons of gas & a bridge toll mafia fare of a couple of bucks...there will even be time for late nite doggy dog walks on gamedays, ruff ruff!!

mason is not a dumb azz, he gotta 3.8 gpa at terra nova high school

wowza, getting developed by future head coach in training mike saffell is a pretty special deal too!!

mason, good luck with ur new exciting adventure, u get to write the script brah

https://instagr.am/p/C4qxI-4Jnv4

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE announcement:

today's commit valley native john gayer turned down an actionable offer to be in the "real bros of simi valley: season 2025" in order to throw blows for them golden bears!!

pro tip: john, do not ask coach wilcox "do u burn hard bro??" at the kickback...that would be sketch

this **** is getting EPIC bro (white people r funny)!!#

Go time 🤞🏾🙏🏾 #KSBG😤 pic.twitter.com/adAecaycN0

— Ricky Correia (@ricky_correia12) January 8, 2025

luv this guy, underrated physical presence in crushing interior ground attacks, go be great rick!!

berkeley grad (playing with house money pursuing his nfl dreams)#

Shocky1 said:

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Go time 🤞🏾🙏🏾 #KSBG😤 pic.twitter.com/adAecaycN0

— Ricky Correia (@ricky_correia12) January 8, 2025

luv this guy, underrated physical presence in crushing interior ground attacks, go be great rick!!

berkeley grad (playing with house money pursuing his nfl dreams)#

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I hope he has a Pro Day at Cal if he's not invited to the Combine. He can be a real find for an NFL team. He is a classic NFT NT, or DT in a 4-3. He may be some team's 7th round draft pick by a team not willing to take a chance on being able to get him as a UFA. Like the 49ers did with Purdy. But I wouldn't be surprised to see him go higher.