cal's monster offensive line

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calumnus
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:45p, 2/26/25
Shocky1 said:
calalumnus, not really sure wut to tell u other than u don't know wut u don't know

shocky heard about peter moving on (if the right nfl opportunity presented itself) during the 2024 football season, that's one of the benefits of sitting on the 50 yard line & attending every game (both at memorial & the roadies)

the next defensive coordinator is not gonna push anybody out unlike harsin (who only retained future head coach in training mike saffell) from an inept offense


Didn't Harsin give McDaniels Saffel's spot as TE/OL coach?
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9:17p, 2/26/25
future head coaching waiting saffell is still the tight ends coach, mcdaniels is an assistant coach to the tight end & offensive line rooms
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9:19p, 2/26/25



the MAGIC of cal football (r u gonna lose ur ******* mind at memorial stadium this fall??)#
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Shocky1
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9:43p, 2/26/25
https://instagr.am/p/Ci7_-Q9pr3G
my daughter taylor just tole me during our phone call that going after work to the westside grocery store (kinda like an erewhon) in manhattan to get her dinner cooking stuff that some rando tole her she looks like madison beer (fun fact for old people: madison is the new megan fox of the under 30 years of age crowd)...she gets told that at least once a week

https://instagr.am/p/CFNvhGZF8jo
tay asked me who people tell me i kinda look like, her dumb azz dad tole her "really nobody but hopefully somebody will ask me in the hallways of modern yoga if ima substitute yoga teacher or something"

then shocky will casually flip his ponytail & tell her "no, i understand ur confusion but ima just a student here"

yeah this is bucket stuff **** we're talking about

dream big, brah!!



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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:47p, 2/26/25
Shocky1 said:
future head coaching waiting saffell is still the tight ends coach, mcdaniels is an assistant coach to the tight end & offensive line rooms


So McDanels is actually an "Offensive Assistant" and not an "Assistant Coach"? The key is who gets one of the recruiting slots?
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Shocky1
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9:48p, 2/26/25
yes
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11:19p, 2/26/25

2026 4.17 gpa 6'1" 209 lbs violent safety jackmerius "mauna kea volcano" tacktheratrix from kapaa hawaii#

let's ******* go, brah!!

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calumnus
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:39p, 2/26/25
Shocky1 said:

2026 4.17 gpa 6'1" 209 lbs violent safety jackmerius "mauna kea volcano" tacktheratrix from kapaa hawaii#

let's ******* go, brah!!



Or being from Kapa'a maybe "The Sleeping Giant"?

I don't remember a top recruit from Kaua'i (heaven on Earth).
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11:42p, 2/26/25


shocky's favorite parfum is dior's new rescue doggy dog azzwipe (ruf)!!#
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Shocky1
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6:09a, 2/27/25

2026 penn state grad transfer (7th year) 6'6" 282 lbs destructive with elite closing speed defense end smith vilbert from monsey (north of nyc) new york#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people of haiti curious about playing time/a media career on the left coast)

https://instagr.am/p/DGMAlP1up9K
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Shocky1
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6:43a, 2/27/25

this is NOT tim deruyter#
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2:42p, 2/27/25
https://instagr.am/p/CxlMQ0YgGRW
2025 pga tournament in west palm beach: 1st round update

michael kim (65, tied for 10th): michael is continuing his en fuego play birdieing all 3 par 5s and getting up & down all 4 times with his scrambling...exuding confidence kim is well positioned tomorrow to make a move in south florida while playing with fluid positivity!!


ben an (69, tied for 76th): 4 under par front nine but struggled with the putter & a loose short iron on the watery par 3 17th hole on the treacherous bear trap back nine...ben needs a tasty dinner tonite

cal's monster class friendly pets scale: doggy dogs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>baby alligators

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Shocky1
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6:30p, 2/27/25

fun fact: would've been 44.5+ inches if teddye gotta PONYTAIL & a yoga/meditation practice like shocky!!

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Shocky1
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9:35p, 2/27/25

california golden bears 79
georgia tech yellowjackets 65

ugonne foul watch: ZERO fouls in the 1st half!!...the nation's leader in moving screens picked one up in the 3rd quarter along with a blocking foul in finishing the game with only 2 fouls!!...michelle played smart (verticality is the key) focused DEFENSE in the paint along with 10 boards & 24 points on a highly efficient 11 of 16 field goals in staying on the floor for 34 minutes!!


lulu: give charmin & the staff credit for working with miss twidale in attacking the basket which transforms the bears offense from a sometimes stagnant easily defended ****show into a dynamic fluid scoring operation which spreads the floor/opens up bucket opportunities for everyone including herself...lulu with 17 points but much more importantly 6 ASSISTS


ionna: her range is unreal, she could make a wbna roster with the right organization


turnover watch: 16 turnovers is still too many but props to the staff for coaching up a near elimination of the dumb azz low probability lob passes into triple coverage...if marta wants to get paid at the next level someday she's gotta get more fundamentally sound & eliminate the turnover prone one handed passes in favor of more fundamentally sound 2 paws on the ball when throwing dimes

kayla: the nation's leader in violent floor collisions usually landing on her azz, love seeing williams get some rest & play only 24 minutes with another big game on sunday & then the acc tournament in greensboro next week

next game: the 23-7 bears gotta bring it on sunday outta respect for all the departing seniors against a dangerous miami squad

fun fact: when michelle onyiah stays outta foul trouble & competes for 34 minutes this SPECIAL team (which celebrates playing together like little kids on the playground with their best friends) can compete with any team in the nation!!



the impossible dream (is possible)#
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Shocky1
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9:41p, 2/27/25

it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's ******* teddye!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DGi7XPcp891
strawberry canyon in the fall (is where it all starts for getting PAID in the national football league)#
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6956bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:09a, 2/28/25
Shocky1 said:

it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's ******* teddye!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DGi7XPcp891
strawberry canyon in the fall (is where it all starts for getting PAID in the national football league)#
Buchanan had a really good day yesterday at the combine. It was important for him to test well. And he did. He is smart and has good film. He did well at the East West Shrine practices and game. He likely moved up some draft boards yesterday.
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Shocky1
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5:39a, 2/28/25
6956 agreed, the billion dollar+ nfl draft is a metric driven prospect evaluation process & buchanan's 4.6 40 raised his 2025 draft stock


cal football's failed s&c program under good guy but incompetent (nobody driven to be great) cancer survivor brian johnson not only cost the bears football victories with fragile injury prone players but also impacted nfl player evaluations & that's the monster's #1 indictment (the failed kicking roster management by longwell/cherrington is #2) of wilcox but just glad now that novak made it out of lansing after all that happened
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swan
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:19a, 2/28/25
Shocky1 said:

2025 pga tournament in west palm beach: 1st round update

michael kim (65, tied for 10th): michael is continuing his en fuego play birdieing all 3 par 5s and getting up & down all 4 times with his scrambling...exuding confidence kim is well positioned tomorrow to make a move in south florida while playing with fluid positivity!!


It's been fun watching Michael playing some of the best golf of his career to start the year. A strong finish in this week's tour event, the Cognizant Classic, likely gets him into next week's Arnold Palmer Invitational, which features a limited field, and a higher prize total.
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:57a, 2/28/25
Shocky1 said:

it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's ******* teddye!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DGi7XPcp891
strawberry canyon in the fall (is where it all starts for getting PAID in the national football league)#
Damn, those QUADS, tho! How far was that jump?!
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Shocky1
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11:15a, 2/28/25
https://instagr.am/p/CtX_vLaOsE3
look pitts, teddeye broad jumped 10 feet 6 inches (3rd among linebackers) but much more importantly leidy can almost touch the ceiling while jumping on the bed!!

wut do u think is actually more ******* important in life??



fun fact: in a jumping contest between oski & buc-ee the smart money would be on ronald mcdonald#
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Econ141
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3:42p, 2/28/25
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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6:16p, 2/28/25


econ, rolo & harsin have promised shocky that they be done with 17 off tackle consecutive interior runs & in fact they's promised me (but don't tell nobody) that the 1st call of the 2025 football season in corvallis is gonna be a ******* PITCHOUT on the edges in wide open space for jaydn ott with multiple calls for the JET!!!! to also run the rock on PITCHOUTS against the beavers to ensure the bears best duo of running backs in college football are OFF TO THE RACES!!

and yeah the bears fragile candy azz soft wide receivers are actually gonna ******* BLOCKS on these cefalo engineered epic touchdown runs too!!...and meeks & novak are gonna build a legit starting 5 315+ lbs cal's monster offensive line that isn't gonna throw 20+ yard out routes on ******* 4th & 1 because they get pushed backwards at the line of scrimmage due to a failed s&c program!!



this **** is getting live!!#
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6:25p, 2/28/25
swany, one hundo percent, this is the GOLDEN AGE of cal golf right now with 4 world class pga professionals that could win a MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIP in 2025!!

and the beauty of cal golf is that knowlton, simon-o'neil & markeisha literally cannot **** it up for us, isn't that great??

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
shocky got 36 holes/15 miles walking calves#
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7:46p, 2/28/25

KABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

craig woodson has always been one of the most violent hard hitting safeties in the united states of america but there's been nfl (and even shocky) concerns re: his closing SPEED

CONGRATS on the 4.46 40, craig, you've outworked everybody during ur years in berkeley doing everything both on & off the field the right way!!

let's ******* go (the TAKERS get PAID in the national football league & earn berkeley degrees)#

the university of calveston=the #1 ranked public university in the world (without the lousy azz texas weather, just ask buc-ee)
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8:09p, 2/28/25
https://instagr.am/p/C5n9LqLAXux
2025 pga tournament in west palm beach: 2nd round update

michael kim (66, tied for 3rd): there's literally nobody on planet earth playing better golf right now that michael!!...kim is #1 in the field in strokes gained off the tee, is a perfect 7 for 7 in scrambling (en route to no bogeys during the 1st 2 rounds) & has always been an elite putter...michael played the brutal watery finishing 4 hole bear trap in 2 under par with a 17 footer birdie on the par 16th hole & a 3 foot birdie on the par 5 18th hole... kim will be playing in the 2nd to last group (with daniel berger) tomorrow as he continues his destiny to win a 2nd pga tournament while playing with house money!!

ben an (73, missed cut): ben missed 14 outta 28 fairways, gonna go back to orlando (lake nona) & get the driver straightened out with sean foley before next week's home game tournament at nearby bay hill
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8:59p, 2/28/25

nohl williams: consensus all american with 14 career interceptions with 4.5 speed!!#
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9:39p, 2/28/25
ron rivera update: it's expected that rivera's confirmation as cal football's 1st general manager will be voted upon & approved by the uc board of regents at the next scheduled meeting on march 18-20 at the ucla campus

the con artist will NOT be allowed to vote on this matter as cal football hopefully becomes a separate financial entity from the BANKRUPT cal athletic department ($66,900,000 annual deficit) that is hoping ur gonna bail out with the march 13 BIG GIVE for athletic department bureaucrats...or u could just burn ur money in the backyard or buy jimmy another rental income property in colorado springs, it's ur choice!!


ron & shocky r mama's boys#
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10:22p, 2/28/25

marcus harris got 4.46 40 nfl SPEED!!#
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10:27p, 2/28/25
https://instagr.am/p/DGdiUFVvall
5'1" becky g from inglewood high school got 5.19 40 SPEED but a strong fashion game!!#
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3:38a, 3/1/25

shocky at modern yoga (nfl & chicas like that ****, can u get upside down brah??)#
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rkt88edmo
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1:55p, 3/1/25
A little nugget for Shocky's LINL file



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3:58p, 3/1/25
teddye b=never gonna be a tiddly winks champions
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4:35p, 3/1/25

2025 pga tournament in west palm beach: 3rd round update

michael kim (67, 2nd ): playing 54 holes with 37 pars, 16 birdies & only 1 bogey, michael is 10 for 11 on scrambling & his lone bogey wuz fabulously played whacking the ball outta the water on the diabolical par 3 15th hole by taking off his right shoe & taking a muddy swip hitting the ball 35 feet from the hole!!


this week kim has birdied 8 of the 9 par 5s & made a terrific birdie on the short par 4 4th hole by hitting a gap wedge crisply outta a deep fairway bunker stiff for a tap in

course management: tomorrow's pin placements will be an interesting nuance for the final group twosome of michael (works the ball right to left) & north scottsdale's jake knapp (works the ball left to right) as the cups on most holes will favor one of the 2 ball strikers but not both

fun fact: a top 2 finish for michael will be a major plus in kim (currently ranked #79 in the world rankings) potentially earning an invitation to the 2025 masters tournament (the top 50 in the official world golf rankings at the end of the florida swing are invited to augusta national, missed the cut in 2019)
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Shocky1
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7:01p, 3/1/25
2025 spring football roster update:
https://calbears.com/sports/football/roster

this is a highly inaccurate (listing departed players that are done playing football at cal, not listing matthew littlejohn as a returnee, outdated weights, not citing college degrees) GARBAGETIME update by the cal athletic department communications team & should be IGNORED

this is the kinda shoddy unprofessional work product that is typical of the markeisha everrett led communications team

2025 scholly roster departures: 31 departures at this moment

nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility...nfl declaration/pursuing berkeley degree
craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree
xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree
liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton degree
david reese, outside linebacker...grad transfer portal to syracuse...florida degree
lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...tulsa degree
ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree
tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree
will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree
victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree
chandler rogers, quarterback...grad transfer portal...louisiana monroe degree
corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree
lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility...nfl declaration/pursuing berkeley degree
marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree
ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity...north carolina degree
kadarius calloway, running back...out of eligibility...pursuing berkeley degree
matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree
jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree
nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree
bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal to arkansas state...no berkeley degree
nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree
josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal to oklahoma...no berkeley degree
mikey matthews, wide receiver...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
cheikh saliou fall, edge defender...nfl declaration...eastern kentucky degree
cj harris, quarterback...grad transfer portal...ohio university degree

note: kicker derek morris (umass) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on

matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets
barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program
isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets
patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins
raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree
ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program
tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree
kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree
blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree
jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree
sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn & oklahoma state...no berkeley degree
taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree
michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree
muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree
jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree
asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program
dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree
sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree
brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree
isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree
myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree
ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree
marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree
martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree
kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree
marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree
sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree
leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement (cal rugby program)...pursuing berkeley degree
tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree

note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree
darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii & northeastern...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...nevada degree
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...ucla degree
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree
ryan lange, guard...football retirement...pursuing berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle..portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical unretirement to asu...berkeley degree
aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...fresno state degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree



do u got premium 91 in ur tank??#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:08p, 3/1/25
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DFQO_vxOdT_
cal athletic's MARKETING department: cutting bureaucratic bloat

this worthless 12 person department is led by the unqualified, non innovative & lazy azz markeisha everett who attends every trade conference possible that's further afar from berkeley in her quest to learn more about tarp management for cal football gamedays which is probably why when kevin kennedy approached her last summer requesting assistance for cal's wildly FUN & successful national billboards campaign she wuz 100% disinterested & opted not to help out...markeisa is also the primary person along with her enabler general knowlton that has resisted offering FREE tixs to all berkeley students for all football & basketball games which has resulted in abysmal attendance this season particularly for the men's basketball program which is competing in a low energy non loud without a lotta students haas pavillion

associate athletic director, communications: jonathan okanes
director, athletics communications: gerit van genderen
associate director, football: kyle mcrae
assistant director, field hockey, men's swimming & diving, softball: dermonte bond
assistant director, men's soccer, men's & women's tennis: dean caparaz
assistant director, football, rugby: cailyn genewick
assistant director, women's golf, men's & women's water polo: michael jorgenson
assistant director, beach volleyball, women's gymnastics, women's soccer: daniel moebus-bowles
assistant director, women's basketball, men's & women's rowing: anish patel
assistant director, volleyball, men's & women's track, men's gymnastics: samantha sunseri
communications assistant, cross country, diving: kai smith
communications assistant, lacrosse: jenny yeh
https://calbears.com/staff-directory

when shocky recently emailed jonathan okanes & cailyn genewick asking them to update the academic profiles of every cal football player including the degrees earned at both berkeley & other universities they opted not to respond...there are no football games for the next 7 months, wut are they doing every day??

so what needs to happen??

this entire department needs to be eliminated immediately with future game reports written by the assistant coaches of the respective sports...shocky's last weekend phoenix open & women's softball reports each took less than 10 minutes to write & edit, this **** is not that complicated if u got a montera middle school writing proficiency

then new football general manager ron rivera with separate financials from the inefficient/non accountable athletic department can hire a highly motivated communications/marketing/branding professional (preferably someone that bleeds blue & gold) that works 50+ hours a week that is passionate about all aspects of the golden bears football program including academic achievements!!...ron should also have the authority to declare that all berkeley students (including the poor azz kids from seaside not just the 17 mile drive trust funders) will be granted FREE football tixs to the fall of 2025 schedule in memorial stadium!!

yeah anybody donating to the cal athletic department during the university's upcoming BIG GIVE is kinda wasting their 5 bucks





wasted days (cloud nothings in berkeley)#
today's release of an inaccurate WORTHLESS 2025 spring football roster is yet another example of why soon to be approved (march 18th-20th uc board of regents meeting in westwood) football general manager ron riviera needs to hire their own marketing/communications specialist SEPARATE from the failed cal athletic department
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