cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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8:46a, 5/26/25
https://instagr.am/p/CKuDqtxA42X


2025 memorial day (with deep appreciation for those that daily risk their lives in protecting us from harm's way)#
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Shocky1
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9:32a, 5/26/25
https://instagr.am/p/DGgqJlbyX7N
texas southern tigers scouting report:

the tigers (from houston) wuz 5-6 last season with the premiere outta conference game a 69-7 loss at rice, they wuz competitive in the rest of their games...unlike the foolish oregon state home & away (corvallis is a dangerous hostile venue against a bitter fanbase/program) series, shocky applauds the scheduling of as many outta conference games in the university of calveston's KEY recruiting footprint of texas to supplement the annual smu protected acc annual rivalry game

the tigers 2025 spring game qb1 wuz 5'10" 185 lbs jordan davis (completed 36 of 62 passes in 2024 for 379 yards while last season's opening game starter 6'5" 215 lbs kc cooper (completed 20 of 30 passes for 150 yards before getting injured) is still rehabbing his lower leg injury & dnp

last season's rb1 quintell quinn (651 yards on a solid 5.8 ypc) entered the transfer portal & is now at tennessee tech

wr1 will be 5''9" 155 lbs trenton leary (41 catches for 417 yards last season) & 5'10" 165 lbs javon buckley made a couple of highlight reel receptions in the spring game

the offensive line is a project under works, yeah the tigers r NOT a physically imposing team but they got talent/attitude

https://instagr.am/p/DItqGiTpH2V
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ColoradoBear
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In reply to mbBear • 1:13p, 5/26/25
mbBear said:
6956bear said:
Shocky1 said:
calalum, the self reporting zoom call violation & penalties for the football program along with the attempt to significantly reduce the football training table dollars in the last 30 days are yet more attempts by the evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil to derail the revenue programs in favor of her empire of olympic sports

beyond her role in enabling mckeever to create a hostile racist environment for women's swimmers, jenny has also told general knowlton that the nil dollars should be equally shared with all sports & also that the men's & women's basketball recruiting budgets need to be equal in order to be in compliance with title ix (an interpretation not shared by any other university in the united states of america)

right now multiple women's teams are poorly run ****shows:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, has a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everrett

women's softball: multiple portal entrants today including the team's leading homerun hitter tianna bell, simon-o'neil has no ability to fundraise nil dollars with her unlikeable arrogant personality

women's gymnastics: head coaches leaving to clemson & roster retention under attack, once again no relationships in place to raise funds for the program

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is tryna get a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

women's swimming: lawsuits from the families of former swimmers with suicidal iderations against the corrupt athletic department senior management until the end of time

in an accountable organization, jennifer simon-o'neil would've been fired long ago

yet the chancellor somehow thinks berkeley alums are gonna endow all 31 sports despite the vast majority of them failing by every possible metric


cal is the only school in the nation with a larger men's golf endowment (the stonebrae tpc dedicated practice facility will also benefit the women's golf team) than the football program and that has absolutely nothing to do with the ****tards knowlton & simon-o'neil



empire of dirt#
The best path seems to be to right size the department. Keep only the NCAA/ACC mandated sports and a few others (golf, aquatics) and eliminate the others or reduce to club status. That is a big step for Lyons. He does not want to do that.
He is on the record saying Men's sports need to be fully endowed. How does that equal "he does not want to do that?"
You don't consider "Title IX" as part of your "mandated" equation? Why would you not want the "others" to be the sports that have the most support/endowment, and therefore the least amount out of pocket?


The issue is that the extent that is being required to 'fully endow' men's team will still leave administration overhead and women's sports costs unpaid. So that's leaving a $30 million/yr structural deficit. Which is far worse than if the department had a much smaller number of teams.
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mbBear
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In reply to ColoradoBear • 2:20p, 5/26/25
ColoradoBear said:
mbBear said:
6956bear said:
Shocky1 said:
calalum, the self reporting zoom call violation & penalties for the football program along with the attempt to significantly reduce the football training table dollars in the last 30 days are yet more attempts by the evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil to derail the revenue programs in favor of her empire of olympic sports

beyond her role in enabling mckeever to create a hostile racist environment for women's swimmers, jenny has also told general knowlton that the nil dollars should be equally shared with all sports & also that the men's & women's basketball recruiting budgets need to be equal in order to be in compliance with title ix (an interpretation not shared by any other university in the united states of america)

right now multiple women's teams are poorly run ****shows:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, has a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everrett

women's softball: multiple portal entrants today including the team's leading homerun hitter tianna bell, simon-o'neil has no ability to fundraise nil dollars with her unlikeable arrogant personality

women's gymnastics: head coaches leaving to clemson & roster retention under attack, once again no relationships in place to raise funds for the program

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is tryna get a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

women's swimming: lawsuits from the families of former swimmers with suicidal iderations against the corrupt athletic department senior management until the end of time

in an accountable organization, jennifer simon-o'neil would've been fired long ago

yet the chancellor somehow thinks berkeley alums are gonna endow all 31 sports despite the vast majority of them failing by every possible metric


cal is the only school in the nation with a larger men's golf endowment (the stonebrae tpc dedicated practice facility will also benefit the women's golf team) than the football program and that has absolutely nothing to do with the ****tards knowlton & simon-o'neil



empire of dirt#
The best path seems to be to right size the department. Keep only the NCAA/ACC mandated sports and a few others (golf, aquatics) and eliminate the others or reduce to club status. That is a big step for Lyons. He does not want to do that.
He is on the record saying Men's sports need to be fully endowed. How does that equal "he does not want to do that?"
You don't consider "Title IX" as part of your "mandated" equation? Why would you not want the "others" to be the sports that have the most support/endowment, and therefore the least amount out of pocket?


The issue is that the extent that is being required to 'fully endow' men's team will still leave administration overhead and women's sports costs unpaid. So that's leaving a $30 million/yr structural deficit. Which is far worse than if the department had a much smaller number of teams.


How do you know what women's sports costs are if you don't know what teams exist? I wasn't insinuating that there wasn't going be a "smaller number of teams?"
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SBGold
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2:36p, 5/26/25
No canceling the monster! It's too big to fail

Go Bears Forever
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7:04p, 5/26/25

2025 ncca men's golf championship at la costa: 4th round update

starting on the par 5 10th hole ziqin "eric" zhou holed out his long bunker shot for an eagle 3!!


zinqin stumbled a little bit on his final nine but got a birdie 3 on his final hole to finish with a 73 & at +1 for the ncca championship & tied for 22nd as a true freshman living in a new country, amazing!!


the true freshman phenom from shenzen china literally got all the shots & the necessary mental composure to compete on the biggest stages plus he's got the full support of the staff & his teammates


vandalus & shocky asked eric's moms lisa what wuz her son's height & weight, she gave us the #s in the metric system which vandy converted on his phone to 6' 196 lbs, this is a rock solid +1 athletic golfer & not undersized like so many of his current bears teammates

shocky walked all 18 holes with zhou on saturday during his near flawless bogey free 67 on a 7500 yard course, it wuz kinda like seeing my future yoga buddy jaylen brown for the 1st time at the nike summit high school all star classic in portland back in the day...and yeah there's no doubt that ziqin fed off the monster's louder than most cheering!!

fun fact: the cal golf team will be traveling to st andrews this fall to play in a mini tourney at the home of golf which will include st andrews university...great opportunity for team bonding, developing creativity thru exposure to pure links golf & see more of the world!!

so here's shocky's 100% candid player personnel analysis, these are solely the monster's opinions & not those of the cal men's golf current/former coaching staff or collin morikawa/max homa/ben an/michael kim, got it??...it should also be pointed out that the team's golf roster size will be impacted by the house settlement & it's possible that a talented transfer deal will get worked out

the superstars:

ziqin "eric" zhou (will be a sophomore next season): the econ major got all the tools to be one of the nation's top 10 golfers, he tole me that collin has reached out to him by phone a couple of times...that kinda developmental mentorship advice/relationship from the world's #4 ranked golfer is priceless

xihuan chang (true freshman): the beijing china native got morikawa like credentials entering college with a top 4 finish at the us junior boy's & a top 32 at the us amateur (successfully competing at usga events which are prepared for championship golf is the true mark of a golfer's pedigree)...only red flag for the 5'11" xihuan is his slight weight of 143 lbs which can be addressed this fall in the s&c program at memorial stadium

solid with potential great upside:

charlie berridge (5th year senior): what can the 6'5" 211 lbs former ice hockey player/highest gpa student on the golf team do with his game without the relentless time demands of berkeley undergraduate studies??...berridge (his dad eric kindly invited me out to visit again his gatsby inspired timeless c&c brambles) tole me he gotta stretching routine but a yoga/meditation practice is the next step, got it charlie??



daniel heo (senior): the 6' 165 lbs econ major from cypress made huge developmental strides late in the season & would benefit from another 10-12 lbs of muscle this offseason

sihao cong (blueshirt sophmore): the 5'11" 155 lbs irvine native stood out this season & would benefit from another 10-15 lbs of muscle this offseason

charlie bundy (blueshirt junior): the personable william & mary transfer sat out this season while working on his game & studying for the haas biz ad school (tole me he will find out in july re: his application to haas)...mutiple sources tole me that charlie excelled in the qualifying rounds around the bay (including 3-4 rounds at shocky's old caddying grounds at the fabulous san francisco golf club)...bundy is actually 6'1" 148 lbs (not the 155 lbs listed on the roster bio), charlie gotta start measuring his daily protein grams intake like the vast majority of pga golfers (rory consumer 170 grams of protein a day, basically his body weight) & get himself up to 160-165 lbs before this fall while playing a rigorous summer amateur golf slate

unproven young talent:

matthew miyamoto & kai hirayama (sophmores unless they blueshirted): gotta work harder to get better, are they grinders??
zhenghei "richard" han (blueshirt freshman): see above, all 3 r undersized by asu golf standards (lean muscular 180-185 lbs)
trevor cox (true freshman): the 2025 commit from rancho santa fe hasn't achieved anything significant in junior golf, needs to work with a chip on his shoulder

2026 commitments:

graham christopher: walked la costa with graham while following zhou, the 4.1 gpa student at oaks christian plays outta sherwood & gotta gain muscle to compete at the next level...former baseball player

callixte alzas: the french native (kinda like dp tour player/berkeley grad joel salter) qualified/competed at the british amateur last summer conducted by the royal & ancient at ballyliffin in ireland

https://instagr.am/p/C8fLcBRtpV9
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (there is NO substitute for hard work)


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Shocky1
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10:37p, 5/26/25
https://instagr.am/p/DJ4qt2oSSiq
#8: helping lilo & stitch relocate from hawaii and buc-ee relocate from texas to cali#
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11:02p, 5/26/25

warning: cal football s&c program is NO longer a semi voluntary NO EFFORT hobby activity without any accountable metrics (daily workout report cards)

just glad coach novak made it outta lansing after all that happened (can't even wear a michigan state hoodie on in public)

cal's MONSTER offensive line (will all weigh 315+ lbs this fall or ride the bench, famika not gonna play the undersized)#

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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:31a, 5/27/25
Shocky1 said:

2026 3.0 gpa 6'3" 290 lbs defensive tackle kingston "lucky" schirmer from corona centennial#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask breezy)
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7:50a, 5/27/25

2026 6'4" 265 lbs offensive lineman justin morales from franklin high school in el paso#


the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that r tired of lousy azz texas weather, just ask buc-ee)
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10:28a, 5/27/25



let's ******* go, max, this game still luvs u (it's not kicking u to the curb)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/Ch-tdZLJRQ0
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:50p, 5/27/25
Shocky1 said:

2026 cal's monster class recruiting update:

right now the bears got 6 commitments & marshall cherrington/the staff are targeting a 2026 high school class of approximately 15+ high gpa student athletes that can compete in the acc...actionable scholly offers r gonna be at a premium

the next wave of official visitors will start up again on may 29th with multiple high target prospects tripping to the claremont in berkeley that weekend including the big board's #1 prospect offensive tackle tommy tofi from riordan along with his bro current cal commit havoc wrecking crusader john tofi jr, nationally recruited defensive lineman nemyah telona from concord de la salle, apex predator edge defender dakota dickson from monte vista in danville, +1 athletic tight end isreal briggs from redwood high school in visalia & elite wideout rj mosley from pittsburg high school and will be the expected nor cal talent that got an opportunity to be hometown heroes while sharing their collegiate fall gamedays with their parents, family & friends taking just short drives to memorial stadium

out of town official visitors expected to trip to berkeley include priority running back victor santino from bishop montgomery high school, hard hitting safety logan hirou from santa margarita catholic high school, immediate impact outside linebacker ezaya tokio from oceanside high school, lockdown corner/nickel jeron jones from mission viejo high school & explosive tight end taimane purcell from kamehameha high school in honolulu...current cal commit inside linebacker jonathan mckinley from corona centennial will be making the short flight north

the bears will then also host official visitors on the weekends of june 7th & 14th...some of these prospects currently got conditional offers which could become actionable offers depending upon how the may 29th visits turn out with evaluations working both ways been high schoolers & the staff...multiple already committed bears will also take official visits to berkeley during the two june weekends

also visiting may 29th during the 1st of the 3 key recruiting weekends will be elite 11 6'3" 195 lbs quarterback brady palmer (not related to arnold) from cathedral catholic high school in san diego...rolo is running point on extending actionable offers in the qb room & the indian valley hacker has developed a lotta qbs who get PAID in the national football league


good manners: shocky also always offers to take his kicks off when entering people's homes, shoes r for losers


real talk: the cal football program is the right choice for those that wanna build generational wealth via their nfl aspirations competing in the acc & working hard in the classrooms of berkeley in a fiercely competitive global economy that unremorsefully favors cal, stanford & ivy league grads while low academic football factory skools (which r often located in ****hole truck stop towns with lousy level 7 hypothermia weather) dispose of their low gpa gladiators once their marginal utility is all used up leaving them to working nite security at legoland at age 30


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
welcome all 13 high school official visitors (ur names r listed above) & their families to the claremont this weekend, plz feel free to watch as many movies, eat as many mini bar potato chips/candy bars & order whatevah pool & late nite in room food services u want

just charge all that **** to coach wilcox's account, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DCAfM_cOAcy
palm trees r shocky's favorite kinda tree, how about u??#
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OsoDorado
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:34p, 5/27/25
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/Ch-tdZLJRQ0

Forgive me, but this photo is sinful!
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Shocky1
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10:38p, 5/27/25
https://instagr.am/p/CjJvNTAr6MZ
oso, u should probably get out more or something & maybe spend more time in inglewood instead of the erewhon in the hollywood hills

https://instagr.am/p/ClhkufZvM46
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:46p, 5/27/25
Shocky1 said:


2026 3.5 gpa 6'5" 295 lbs ELITE defensive tackle dakota dickson from monte vista high school#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those with a unique FRESH perspective of planet earth)
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6:41a, 5/28/25

real talk: collin uses bad ******* language kinda like famika!!

https://instagr.am/p/DJxYIY3hmxc
**** this ****#
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Shocky1
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1:23p, 5/28/25

cal's MONSTER class official footage of today's s&c workout at memorial stadium involving the asu men's golf team & the cal men's golf team

yeah some of the bears golfers r undersized & need to start counting their protein gram intakes (150-170 grams the baseline) on a daily basis so they can compete on a championship level...and the bears need to be texting on a nightly basis this summer their daily protein #s to coach wilson, coach ireland & coach shocky

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
wut's ur ball/clubhead speed, can u dig it out from 200+ yards of 3 inch bermuda rough onto the green on a consistent basis or hit two MONSTER low ball flight trajectory 2 irons onto an uphill 570 yard par 5 putting surface like ziqin zhou??

yeah shocky is gonna be monitoring everyone's weight on the golf team to ensure that they not gonna get their azzs handed to them next time, got it??

and EVERYBODY (including all my football brahs) still also need to get yoga/meditation practices too!!



u sleep, u lose (college athletics in 2025)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:38p, 5/28/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

EXCLUSIVE cal's MONSTER class body weight evaluation of every scholly trench worker:

jordan spasojevic-moko, 6'5" 335 lbs (BEST o-line newcomer, needs to become more quick twitch +1 athletic!!)
sioape vatikani, 6'4" 315 lbs (vats took a lotta plays off last season, new cored out body is lean!!)
nick morrow, 6'8" 315 lbs (missed spring ball, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
frederick williams, 6'5" 300 lbs (banged up at the end of spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
braden miller, 6'6" 315 lbs (biggest surprise of spring running with 1s, needs to get to 320 lbs)
bastian swinney, 6'6" 305 lbs (got pushed backwards last season, needs to get to 320 lbs)
tyson ruffins, 6'2" 310 lbs (ran with the 1s this spring but got pushed backwards, need to get to 320 lbs)
daveion harley, 6'1" 300 lbs (just signed, needs to get to 315 lbs)
lajuan owens, 6'4" 355 lbs (physical mauler, needs to core out to 335 lbs)
leon bell, 6'8" 315 lbs (got starting talent upside, at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
lamar robinson, 6'3" 300 lbs (missed spring ball, needs to get to 315 lbs)
akili calhoun, 6'4" 300 lbs (ran with the 2s, needs to get to 315 lbs)
syris corley, 6'4" 330 lbs (needs to core out to 315 lbs)
tyler knape, 6'4" 290 lbs (needs to get to 315 lbs)
aiden newbill, 6'8" 290 lbs (at 6'8" needs to get to 330 lbs)
justin hasenhuetl, 6'5" 270 lbs (schulzie's favorite german needs to get to 315 lbs)

real talk: any bear that disappears from berkeley for more than a long weekend home between now & the start of the 2025 fall camp is sending a clear message that they just don't give a ****


6'5" 315 lbs artem korchagin gets it (MONSTER o-lineman get PAID in the national ******* football league!!)#


https://instagr.am/p/DKKNIY_Rxjt
oh the places u will go MONSTER dept:

dr shock (medical board certified in ibiza & an acclaimed international speaker on why clothes r for losers) has clearly outlined in this & a prior post the necessary SPECIFIC targeted weights for each member of the cal men's golf team & cal's monster offensive line

this **** should now be clear as ****, got it??

look if doms can do this **** u should be able to build ur body rite too this summer

otherwise ur gonna be so SORRY (cuz ur undersized) & never get PAID in the national football league or earn a pga tour card...and at that point u might as well take a ******* medical retirement due to a bruised left thorax or a broken azz alternator or something and just focus on earning ur berkeley degree

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wifeisafurd
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:18p, 5/28/25
Shocky1 said:

2025 ncca men's golf championship at la costa: 4th round update

starting on the par 5 10th hole ziqin "eric" zhou holed out his long bunker shot for an eagle 3!!


zinqin stumbled a little bit on his final nine but got a birdie 3 on his final hole to finish with a 73 & at +1 for the ncca championship & tied for 22nd as a true freshman living in a new country, amazing!!


the true freshman phenom from shenzen china literally got all the shots & the necessary mental composure to compete on the biggest stages plus he's got the full support of the staff & his teammates


vandalus & shocky asked eric's moms lisa what wuz her son's height & weight, she gave us the #s in the metric system which vandy converted on his phone to 6' 196 lbs, this is a rock solid +1 athletic golfer & not undersized like so many of his current bears teammates

shocky walked all 18 holes with zhou on saturday during his near flawless bogey free 67 on a 7500 yard course, it wuz kinda like seeing my future yoga buddy jaylen brown for the 1st time at the nike summit high school all star classic in portland back in the day...and yeah there's no doubt that ziqin fed off the monster's louder than most cheering!!

fun fact: the cal golf team will be traveling to st andrews this fall to play in a mini tourney at the home of golf which will include st andrews university...great opportunity for team bonding, developing creativity thru exposure to pure links golf & see more of the world!!

so here's shocky's 100% candid player personnel analysis, these are solely the monster's opinions & not those of the cal men's golf current/former coaching staff or collin morikawa/max homa/ben an/michael kim, got it??...it should also be pointed out that the team's golf roster size will be impacted by the house settlement & it's possible that a talented transfer deal will get worked out

the superstars:

ziqin "eric" zhou (will be a sophomore next season): the econ major got all the tools to be one of the nation's top 10 golfers, he tole me that collin has reached out to him by phone a couple of times...that kinda developmental mentorship advice/relationship from the world's #4 ranked golfer is priceless

xihuan chang (true freshman): the beijing china native got morikawa like credentials entering college with a top 4 finish at the us junior boy's & a top 32 at the us amateur (successfully competing at usga events which are prepared for championship golf is the true mark of a golfer's pedigree)...only red flag for the 5'11" xihuan is his slight weight of 143 lbs which can be addressed this fall in the s&c program at memorial stadium

solid with potential great upside:

charlie berridge (5th year senior): what can the 6'5" 211 lbs former ice hockey player/highest gpa student on the golf team do with his game without the relentless time demands of berkeley undergraduate studies??...berridge (his dad eric kindly invited me out to visit again his gatsby inspired timeless c&c brambles) tole me he gotta stretching routine but a yoga/meditation practice is the next step, got it charlie??



daniel heo (senior): the 6' 165 lbs econ major from cypress made huge developmental strides late in the season & would benefit from another 10-12 lbs of muscle this offseason

sihao cong (blueshirt sophmore): the 5'11" 155 lbs irvine native stood out this season & would benefit from another 10-15 lbs of muscle this offseason

charlie bundy (blueshirt junior): the personable william & mary transfer sat out this season while working on his game & studying for the haas biz ad school (tole me he will find out in july re: his application to haas)...mutiple sources tole me that charlie excelled in the qualifying rounds around the bay (including 3-4 rounds at shocky's old caddying grounds at the fabulous san francisco golf club)...bundy is actually 6'1" 148 lbs (not the 155 lbs listed on the roster bio), charlie gotta start measuring his daily protein grams intake like the vast majority of pga golfers (rory consumer 170 grams of protein a day, basically his body weight) & get himself up to 160-165 lbs before this fall while playing a rigorous summer amateur golf slate

unproven young talent:

matthew miyamoto & kai hirayama (sophmores unless they blueshirted): gotta work harder to get better, are they grinders??
zhenghei "richard" han (blueshirt freshman): see above, all 3 r undersized by asu golf standards (lean muscular 180-185 lbs)
trevor cox (true freshman): the 2025 commit from rancho santa fe hasn't achieved anything significant in junior golf, needs to work with a chip on his shoulder

2026 commitments:

graham christopher: walked la costa with graham while following zhou, the 4.1 gpa student at oaks christian plays outta sherwood & gotta gain muscle to compete at the next level...former baseball player

callixte alzas: the french native (kinda like dp tour player/berkeley grad joel salter) qualified/competed at the british amateur last summer conducted by the royal & ancient at ballyliffin in ireland

https://instagr.am/p/C8fLcBRtpV9
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (there is NO substitute for hard work)

A somewhat brutal end to the NCAA Championship, as former Cal golfer Eric Lee led Okie State to the NCAA championship over Virginia.
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Shocky1
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11:46p, 5/28/25

wifey (thx u for endowing the cal men's head coach position to almost infinity & beyond), agreed re: the brutal 19 over par final nine collapse by the bears, ay caramba

if the low gpa oklahoma state transfers paper clip twins eric lee & ethan fang (watched both of them saturday in person & they r both still under 150 lbs & got significantly less pga tour upside than ziqin "eric" zhou) & high gpa stanford transfer nathan wang (the cards did not qualify for the national championship & he didn't qualify as an individual) had stayed in berkeley the bears could've won the 2025 national championship but that's not how life works



shocky got 1st hand experience re: how that **** works back in the day



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6:57a, 5/29/25
https://instagr.am/p/DJUfSqBv0hy
document #392 re: general knowlton & the racist evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil's anti revenue sports agenda

why is the cal athletic department prioritizing a sand volleyball facility for the sport's 100+ fans over a dedicated men's & women's basketball practice facility to enpower the recruiting/retention/development of ELITE (vs the current revolving door of no name low gpa/no academic ambition marginally talented journeyman college transfers with 9 month rental agreements, zero fans know/care about daws/his collection of luxury watches & his siberia pro basketball adventures after not playing any DEFENSE and/or reading a single book during his time in the bay) basketball talent which will facilitate the selling out of the now empty 11,000 seat haas arena??

yeah the softball & sand volleyball facilities got shovels in the ground while the next jaylen brown is saying no thx to working on his craft by practicing outside at montera middle school

why would any berkeley alum donate to the continuation of salary payments to jimmy, jenny & markeisha???


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3:23p, 5/29/25

2025 memorial tournament at muirfield village: 1st round update

collin morikawa (67, 2nd place): driving the ball with absolute freedom & accuracy (hitting 12 of 14 fairways & the "miss" on the 6th hole wuz in the intermediate rough 30 inches from the fairway), morikawa had a potentially game changing moment with caddie joe greiner on the par 3 8th hole...collin wanted to hit a 6 iron into the back pin position on the narrow green but joe firmly called him off for a sawed off 4 finger 5 iron that resulted in a laser to 5 feet & a birdie 2!!

collin is rolling the rock beautifully after the short experiment with the bulky mallet putter, the blade is the right choice for 13+ stimp greens at muirfield village & the us open at oakmont (which morikawa has never played there unlike shocky's half a dozen rounds on the day in/day out FASTEST greens in the world) in 2 weeks

shocky has been in contact with pga commish monahan re: this week's format changes to the tour championship (no longer gonna give 10 stroke leads to the season fed ex points leader) & jay is in agreement that collin will be rightfully recognized as the 2024 tour champion at east lake!!...so everybody wondering when our favorite hopa/hopa is gonna win again can just shut the **** up, got it??



max homa (68, 3rd): rocking a fashionista light purple shirt with dark slacks, max is on point with every aspect of his game including his ATTITUDE!!...max gotta make a decision, what kinda role model dad does he wanna be to his young son cam??...does he wanna react to life's adversity like his dad john did back in the day or does he wanna forge his own new path with a positive mindset??...with a momentum building birdie 3 on the brutal par 4 18th hole, let's ******* go, max!!

https://instagr.am/p/DKLJsp2s6Kc
ben an (74, tied for 31st): ben drove the ball well with accuracy hitting 11 of 14 fairways (leading the tournament in strokes gained off the tee) but could only hit 9 of the 18 greens in regulation...a little extra prep work with the irons could turn this around tomorrow

michael kim (78, tied for 62nd): muirfield village with it's 5 inch rough is not a great place to try to play golf if u got a strained back but a mv milkshake (shocky prefers the fudge cookie dough over strawberry) can heal a lotta emotional scar tissue

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Econ141
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3:58p, 5/29/25


Let's go!
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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4:46p, 5/29/25

tommy, ur moms & dad fall gameday travels would be a lot simpler if they could watch both the tofi boyz at the same school that's a 30 minute drive from home to memorial stadium (vs all day flights in uncomfortable plane seats, rental counters that are always outta suvs, sorry azz hotel rooms with smelly towels & overpriced dog food restaurants in ****hole truck stop towns that got level 7 hypothermia like eugene...plus shocky has arranged for pops to get a special key to haas pavillion so he can still get his shots up on the mornings of gamedays

ur the #1 2026 high school targeted prospect on the staff's big board & a 1st day out starter in berkeley, remember that only around 38% of the **** that comes outta tosh's mouth is truthful, got it?

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that are interested in life AFTER football by building generational wealth both thru nfl development with coach famika anae in the acc & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)
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8:36p, 5/29/25

2026 3.57 gpa 6'45" 180 lbs quarterback nainoa lopes from powerhouse st louis high school in honolulu#

real talk: curvy brunette yoga females from the islands (and the mainland) wanna date & marry cal, stanford and ivy league grads when they enter the real world

https://instagr.am/p/CZBRUuwqXIf
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world ('o ia ka hana a ka honua brah)
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Shocky1
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4:36a, 5/30/25

cal's poly culture is fun, family & academically focused and INCLUSIVE (everybody can come along for FREE)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DKQOtcmNx6s
fyi, u still owe the monster 5 bucks for reading this post (venmo is ok, cash is better)
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9:53a, 5/30/25
cal's monster class OFFICIAL poll:

wut hopa hopa poly is more classy/articulate??

matthew miyamoto

shocky
https://instagr.am/p/BG2c9tghHcW
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4:37p, 5/30/25

2025 pga tournament at muirfield village: 2nd round udpate

collin morikawa (75, tied for 8th): yeah there wuz 3 hacker chip shots on the back nine along with a redunkulous decision to hit a 6 iron near the lip outta the death pit fairway bunker on the 17th hole but the round really got derailed when collin disregarded caddie joe greiner's advice to leave it "12 feet short" on his gap wedge to the precarious deep left pin placement on the par 5 7th hole...this wuz non berkeley 2.4 gpa decision making by morikawa

max homa (79, tied for 28th): who let the doggy dogs out in the rain??...max, the sun will rise tomorrow, no cap

michael kim (71, tied for 50th): the king of making the cut by a stroke does it again with a clutch 5 footer for par on the menacing par 4 18th hole...michael gotta great opportunity to earn some official world golf ranking points this weekend, currently he's #53 in the world & the top 50 will earn an invitation to the 2025 british open


ben an (81, missed cut): ben missed 21 greens in regulations during his short 36 hole stay in columbus, gotta clean up his iron play before the us open at oakmont
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10:22p, 5/30/25
https://instagr.am/p/DJ7ECwAgpQZ
yeah maybe telling the monster to **** off (or still talking **** about him/he/it to this day, "consider the source") wuz not in the best interests of cal basketball (or really cal athletics) but who knows??

fun fact: jb's current nba super max contract with the boston celtics is for $305,000,000

shocky's yoga buddy got an ideal 2025 nil approved 741 rover sponsorship product, did u get a couple of FREE pairs of kicks overnighted to u??




https://soundcloud.com/the-tribe-akashic/keep-me-company-feat-master-wendu-tae-haru?in=jay-donais%2Fsets%2Ftribe

**** balenciaga

berkeley is a modern yoga/meditation school (don't be a dumb azz)#
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8:07p, 5/31/25

2025 memorial tournament at muirfield village: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (77, tied for 23rd): bad news: balls in the water on the 5th, 11th & 12th holes...good news: pga golfers get an unlimited # of FREE golf balls!!

max homa (75, tied for 38th): after a couple of weeks of outstanding driving, max missed 9 outta 14 fairways today & u cannot play from the punishing rough (unlike college golf which is usually competed on minimal rough courses) at muirfield village

michael kim (74, tied for 43rd): michael has missed 28 greens in regulation during the first 54 holes but is 4th in the field in strokes gained putting...monster solution: hit more ******* greens in regulation


golf is like handstands (it's really ******* hard)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:11p, 5/31/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

2026 cal's monster class recruiting update:

right now the bears got 6 commitments & marshall cherrington/the staff are targeting a 2026 high school class of approximately 15+ high gpa student athletes that can compete in the acc...actionable scholly offers r gonna be at a premium

the next wave of official visitors will start up again on may 29th with multiple high target prospects tripping to the claremont in berkeley that weekend including the big board's #1 prospect offensive tackle tommy tofi from riordan along with his bro current cal commit havoc wrecking crusader john tofi jr, nationally recruited defensive lineman nemyah telona from concord de la salle, apex predator edge defender dakota dickson from monte vista in danville, +1 athletic tight end isreal briggs from redwood high school in visalia & elite wideout rj mosley from pittsburg high school and will be the expected nor cal talent that got an opportunity to be hometown heroes while sharing their collegiate fall gamedays with their parents, family & friends taking just short drives to memorial stadium

out of town official visitors expected to trip to berkeley include priority running back victor santino from bishop montgomery high school, hard hitting safety logan hirou from santa margarita catholic high school, immediate impact outside linebacker ezaya tokio from oceanside high school, lockdown corner/nickel jeron jones from mission viejo high school & explosive tight end taimane purcell from kamehameha high school in honolulu...current cal commit inside linebacker jonathan mckinley from corona centennial will be making the short flight north

the bears will then also host official visitors on the weekends of june 7th & 14th...some of these prospects currently got conditional offers which could become actionable offers depending upon how the may 29th visits turn out with evaluations working both ways been high schoolers & the staff...multiple already committed bears will also take official visits to berkeley during the two june weekends

also visiting may 29th during the 1st of the 3 key recruiting weekends will be elite 11 6'3" 195 lbs quarterback brady palmer (not related to arnold) from cathedral catholic high school in san diego...rolo is running point on extending actionable offers in the qb room & the indian valley hacker has developed a lotta qbs who get PAID in the national football league


good manners: shocky also always offers to take his kicks off when entering people's homes, shoes r for losers


real talk: the cal football program is the right choice for those that wanna build generational wealth via their nfl aspirations competing in the acc & working hard in the classrooms of berkeley in a fiercely competitive global economy that unremorsefully favors cal, stanford & ivy league grads while low academic football factory skools (which r often located in ****hole truck stop towns with lousy level 7 hypothermia weather) dispose of their low gpa gladiators once their marginal utility is all used up leaving them to working nite security at legoland at age 30


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
welcome all 13 high school official visitors (ur names r listed above) & their families to the claremont this weekend, plz feel free to watch as many movies, eat as many mini bar potato chips/candy bars & order whatevah pool & late nite in room food services u want

just charge all that **** to coach wilcox's account, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DCAfM_cOAcy
palm trees r shocky's favorite kinda tree, how about u??#

KABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
KABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
KABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#


welcome last minute official visitor 6'5" 330 lbs poly offensive lineman elisha faamatuainu from murietta valley high school to the cal football family!!

multiple big time offers including auburn & coach m at michigan state

wut up victor??
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Shocky1
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8:18p, 5/31/25

no disrespect to my poly brahs in this video but why isn't moani interviewed instead of them??

https://instagr.am/p/BmROTXngLar
marketing/branding 101 (smokeshow PONYTAILS r triggering)!!#



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the owner of the bearinsider.com
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HairOfTheBear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:00p, 5/31/25
Shocky1 said:

Not gonna lie, I love this video about Poly family and Cal family. We need to promote all our families so that we are all a bigger, stronger family, and then make it more difficult for others to come between us. Welcome to the Bay and Yay Area are all good promos too.

Go Bears!
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SBGold
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:08a, 6/1/25
Shocky1 said:

no disrespect to my poly brahs in this video but why isn't moani interviewed instead of them??

https://instagr.am/p/BmROTXngLar
marketing/branding 101 (smokeshow PONYTAILS r triggering)!!#



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the owner of the bearinsider.com
What do we know about the Murriera commit?

Go Bears Forever
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2:30a, 6/1/25

cal's monster class NEWSFLASH: hairy & goldly, we know that any high school offensive lineman extended an actionable offer by jim michalczik is a legit trench worker with major upside, that the bears got their 2026 running back with legit SPEED & that poi donuts are more tasty than the cardboard azz voodoo donuts


on 10 paws we stood tall (ruff!!)#
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