cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/DJUfSqBv0hy
document #392 re: general knowlton & the racist evil as **** jennifer simon-o'neil's anti revenue sports agenda

why is the cal athletic department prioritizing a sand volleyball facility for the sport's 100+ fans over a dedicated men's & women's basketball practice facility to enpower the recruiting/retention/development of ELITE (vs the current revolving door of no name low gpa/no academic ambition marginally talented journeyman college transfers with 9 month rental agreements, zero fans know/care about daws/his collection of luxury watches & his siberia pro basketball adventures after not playing any DEFENSE and/or reading a single book during his time in the bay) basketball talent which will facilitate the selling out of the now empty 11,000 seat haas arena??

yeah the softball & sand volleyball facilities got shovels in the ground while the next jaylen brown is saying no thx to working on his craft by practicing outside at montera middle school

why would any berkeley alum donate to the continuation of salary payments to jimmy, jenny & markeisha???



facilities update: the men's & women's basketball teams are gonna be practicing during the upcoming season on the outdoor playground at montera middle school unless there are scheduling conflicts with recess or something

scheduling update: the men's basketball 2025 holiday aarp classic will feature 11:00 am tip offs to ensure that the remaining 39 fans won't miss watching the 5:00 pm golden girls reruns with the added bonus of FREE shuttle services from the rosswood retirement home!!
Shocky1
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stinson beach high school grad (luvs the beef tofu at china palace)#
JB was a Chieftain
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Shocks, I know you aint the biggest supporter of mens basketball right now but any chance you make it out to Haas to watch Duke, NC, etc. come to the Bay?
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:


cal's monster class NEWSFLASH: hairy & goldly, we know that any high school offensive lineman extended an actionable offer by jim michalczik is a legit trench worker with major upside, that the bears got their 2026 running back with legit SPEED & that poi donuts are more tasty than the cardboard azz voodoo donuts


on 10 paws we stood tall (ruff!!)#
Nice gas stations, I always look for lots of pumps

Go Bears Forever
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CNXw8aTjzxf
goldy, shocky is also a fan of premium 91 pumps!!

u evah been to a buc-ee's??...on our deep south golf roadtrip leading up to the auburn game, slim wadie (a car guy unlike the monster who is more of a bicycle or public transportation kinda guy) wuz bedazzled by the 120+ pumps at the buc-ee's near shoal creek

honestly got no idea if & when shocky will evah attend another cal men's basketball game again but more importantly is markeisha everrett gonna offer FREE tickets to all berkeley students to grow the fanbase & create a hostile loud SOLD OUT homecourt advantage at haas pavillion for the bears vs the dukies & tar heels??


anyways this weekend's ELITE group of official visitors denning at the claremont r enjoying rite now the FREE all u can eat buffet breakfast on the terrace with coastal breezes overlooking the panoramic san francisco skyline...apparently honolulu native taimane purcell wants to know if anybody still lives at alcatraz and victor santino wants to know if the dorm rooms got palm trees or something...and mrs tofi just tole her boyz that she's NOT gonna do their laundry if they room together across the bay
Shocky1
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2025 memorial tournament at muirfield village: 4th round update

collin morikawa (71, tied for 21st): as arguably the straightest driver of the golf ball on the pga tour (hit 12 of 14 fairways today) with a confident loose putting stroke right now, collin could win the 2025 us open at oakmont with its punishing rough in 2 weeks but made some really dumb azz bad misses/decisions this week (joe greiner needs to be more firm in certain situations to stop morikawa from boarding the crazy bus)

michael kim (73, tied for 44th): good news: 5th in putting this week...bad news: 46th in driving accuracy this week

max homa (77, tied for 51st): max actually scrambled well but hit the 2 worstest pulled 50+ yards left fairway woods since his junior golf days in valencia they lead to a double bogey 7 on the par 5 11th hole & a triple bogey 8 on the par 5 15th hole...real talk: max cannot afford anymore woe is me pity parties, homa is fighting for his 2026 pga tour card, literally every stroke matters right now...max is #110, the top 100 earn 2026 cards

2025 us open update: right now collin morikawa, byeong ben an, michael kim & james hahn (10 under par in final qualifying in dallas) got invitations to oakmont...and tomorrow max homa in columbus & brandon hagy (the haas biz ad grad is contemplating ivy league grad school) in west palm beach are gonna go thru the mentally brutal 36 hole final qualifying which is dubbed "the longest day in golf"...good luck to all our california golden bears!!
Shocky1
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dakota, do u wanna build generational wealth via nfl development in the acc with coach browning & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley in a fiercely competitive global economy that unremorsefully favors cal, stanford & ivy league grads??

football factory skools like ole miss in ****hole truck stop towns with hell like summer humidity simply discard their low gpa disposable gladiators once their athletic utility is expended leaving them with a worthless degree at best working nite shift security on bart when ur 30 years old

do u wanna share/celebrate ur fall gamedays with your fam that's a 20 minute drive tops when ur dad joel turns on his big ball hype muzak??

2026 3.5 gpa all american from monte vista high school (danville)#
SBGold
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Never been to Buc-ees, it's on my list. Were there any near Auburn, AL? I didn't recall seeing any in between ATL and Auburn. Did see Waffle House, a fav of mine as well.

Go Bears Forever
Shocky1
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ezaya, gonna be honest with u, u & ur family r very fotogentic (my guess is that ur doggy dogs at home r good looking too) & ur way too smart to go to not go to cal, stanford or an Ivy league school

https://instagr.am/p/DKApYZgze9C
2026 3.5 gpa MONSTER edge defender from oceanside (and the FUN goat hill)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DHwgG-NxitU
wut up jeron??

u tole the staff that berkeley is clearly the best academic option among ur finalists but honestly that's only half the story brah

cal is the BEST school among ur finalists for developing & getting its defensive backs PAID in the national football league, got it??


let's be real here, washington is a plan b school for berkeley admits, the bears get more dbs PAID in the nfl than the huskies, the drizzly azz weather in seattle is **** & it's gonna be twice as expensive (and twice as long) for ur fam to travel to gamedays in the freezing azz northwest (do u own a parka & wanna live in an igloo with level 7 hypothermia??)

2026 lockdown corner/nickel from mission viejo#
Shocky1
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AZ Bear said:

We started our Auburn game prep on Wednesday evenings with a visit to the Buc-ee's in Leeds, Alabama. Everything is proceeding according to plan.


goldy, zony bear is better at directions than the monster plus his son is a quick twitch +1 athletic high gpa student athlete

and yeah there's a waffle house just like there's racism (both subtle & overt) on every corner in the deep south (this is apparently a newsflash to dakota)...slim wadie & shocky still laugh about the waffle house near auburn that is literally next door to an emergency care angioplasty medical facility!!

wut's ur favorite meal at the waffle house??

it's ok to have bad judgment sometimes...

Shocky1
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KAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!


yeah shocky's running back is from cali & victor does this **** with NO EFFORT



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (for those that wanna buy a watch or an aquarium)
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


2026 6'3" 289 lbs ELITE defensive tackle nemyah telona from delasalle high school#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for independent thinkers that know that tosh tells the truth 38% of the time)

KAAAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u literally could not ask for a better start to june than to receive the commitment from one of the most ELITE defensive lineman in the 2026!!

in speaking with coaches from various staffs they will 100% tell u that the hardest position to recruit impact players to berkeley is the defensive line...very few grown azz men that can play their interior d-line positions with violence during football games also got the necessary gpas & ambition to handle berkeley's academic course load, this recruiting fact is often lost on casual fans who sometimes criticize coach browning's recruiting who beat out multiple national football factories for this commitment

nemyah is a high motor destructive force of nature & just as importantly telona is a team player that will fit in well with his teammates & is coachable

https://instagr.am/p/DG3voU6SJHv
the university of california, berkeley=#1 high academic poly friendly university in the world
SBGold
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Shocky1 said:

AZ Bear said:

We started our Auburn game prep on Wednesday evenings with a visit to the Buc-ee's in Leeds, Alabama. Everything is proceeding according to plan.


goldy, zony bear is better at directions than the monster plus his son is a quick twitch +1 athletic high gpa student athlete

and yeah there's a waffle house just like there's racism (both subtle & overt) on every corner in the deep south (this is apparently a newsflash to dakota)...slim wadie & shocky still laugh about the waffle house near auburn that is literally next door to an emergency care angioplasty medical facility!!

wut's ur favorite meal at the waffle house??

it's ok to have bad judgment sometimes...


Pecan waffles at Waffle House, every time

Go Bears Forever
6956bear
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


2026 cal's monster class recruiting update:

right now the bears got 6 commitments & marshall cherrington/the staff are targeting a 2026 high school class of approximately 15+ high gpa student athletes that can compete in the acc...actionable scholly offers r gonna be at a premium

the next wave of official visitors will start up again on may 29th with multiple high target prospects tripping to the claremont in berkeley that weekend including the big board's #1 prospect offensive tackle tommy tofi from riordan along with his bro current cal commit havoc wrecking crusader john tofi jr, nationally recruited defensive lineman nemyah telona from concord de la salle, apex predator edge defender dakota dickson from monte vista in danville, +1 athletic tight end isreal briggs from redwood high school in visalia & elite wideout rj mosley from pittsburg high school and will be the expected nor cal talent that got an opportunity to be hometown heroes while sharing their collegiate fall gamedays with their parents, family & friends taking just short drives to memorial stadium

out of town official visitors expected to trip to berkeley include priority running back victor santino from bishop montgomery high school, hard hitting safety logan hirou from santa margarita catholic high school, immediate impact outside linebacker ezaya tokio from oceanside high school, lockdown corner/nickel jeron jones from mission viejo high school & explosive tight end taimane purcell from kamehameha high school in honolulu...current cal commit inside linebacker jonathan mckinley from corona centennial will be making the short flight north

the bears will then also host official visitors on the weekends of june 7th & 14th...some of these prospects currently got conditional offers which could become actionable offers depending upon how the may 29th visits turn out with evaluations working both ways been high schoolers & the staff...multiple already committed bears will also take official visits to berkeley during the two june weekends

also visiting may 29th during the 1st of the 3 key recruiting weekends will be elite 11 6'3" 195 lbs quarterback brady palmer (not related to arnold) from cathedral catholic high school in san diego...rolo is running point on extending actionable offers in the qb room & the indian valley hacker has developed a lotta qbs who get PAID in the national football league


good manners: shocky also always offers to take his kicks off when entering people's homes, shoes r for losers


real talk: the cal football program is the right choice for those that wanna build generational wealth via their nfl aspirations competing in the acc & working hard in the classrooms of berkeley in a fiercely competitive global economy that unremorsefully favors cal, stanford & ivy league grads while low academic football factory skools (which r often located in ****hole truck stop towns with lousy level 7 hypothermia weather) dispose of their low gpa gladiators once their marginal utility is all used up leaving them to working nite security at legoland at age 30


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world
welcome all 13 high school official visitors (ur names r listed above) & their families to the claremont this weekend, plz feel free to watch as many movies, eat as many mini bar potato chips/candy bars & order whatevah pool & late nite in room food services u want

just charge all that **** to coach wilcox's account, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DCAfM_cOAcy
palm trees r shocky's favorite kinda tree, how about u??#
I think your point regarding "approximately 15 HS recruits"could change some. Upwards. If they continue to recruit as successfully as they are right now. They will hold some spots for transfers but if they can land some additional top recruits I can see 17 or 18 being possible.

They are at 9 presently. 10 actually as they have an unannounced commit that came late. And Tofi, Dickson, Tokio, Briggs, Morgan, Siale, Jones and Duncan are likely all takes. Mosley maybe as well and a QB. They likely do not get all they want but the trend is good.

Cal has done poorly in HS recruiting mostly under Wilcox. If they can strike paydirt with this class I believe they may extend the limit some. And IMO should.
Shocky1
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6956, agreed that the monster's early projection of a"15+" class could be modified upwards due to the early recruiting success for the 2026 high school class but would also offer a note of caution as there are several potential borderline gpa/academic profiles in play...shocky's take is that with all the new staffing (many of whom are from low gpa schools like utep, etc.) that there is not an overall awareness of the difficulty of berkeley academics when tryna balance that with the time demands of football...and that's where marshall & benji need to be the voices of experience with respects to actionable offers
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DKU0nC3ppfQ
yeah jonathan is the SMARTEST bear of them all!!



2026 4.83 gpa edge defender from corona centennial#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (just ask berkeley grad multi millionaire breezy who is getting PAID in the national football league)
Shocky1
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chemistry is rare (future drama major brahs in the front row)#
Shocky1
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literally some of the SMARTEST human beings (including oppenheimer) on planet earth have studied/taught in berkeley, r u academically ambitious??

berkeley is the epicenter of a lotta **** & changing the world (for mostly good vs evil)#
Jeff82
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+9 for Brandon Hagy at West Palm Beach. Seems like he's about at the end of the road golf-wise. From what I could see, he could never get his putter up the level of his ball striking, which put too much scoring pressure on his game. Too bad, he's a really great guy, as are Max, Michael Kim and all the other players of that era. I'm assuming Mike Weaver didn't make it out of first stage. He's doing well in finance, evidence that the Cal golf/Haas pipeline is really a plan for these kids.
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

2025 us open update: right now collin morikawa, byeong ben an, michael kim & james hahn (10 under par in final qualifying in dallas) got invitations to oakmont...and tomorrow max homa in columbus & brandon hagy (the haas biz ad grad is contemplating ivy league grad school) in west palm beach are gonna go thru the mentally brutal 36 hole final qualifying which is dubbed "the longest day in golf"...good luck to all our california golden bears!!

2025 us open final qualifying:

carrying his clubs for 37 holes max homa battled like a courageous golden bear but sadly missed a 5 footer for a birdie on the 600 yard 9th hole (his final hole of the regulation 36 holes) after hitting the green in 2 & then narrowly missed a 20 foot birdie putt on the 1st playoff hole in a 5 for 1 battle final for the last spot to oakmont

max's game is so ******* close right now, there's still a chance homa could get in the us open as an alternate...max will be heading north now to this week's canadian open (also competing will be ben an) but will probably take tomorrow off without any practice rounds

max is a remarkable DAD to his & lacey's son cam, when this all 100% turns around & max is holding a trophy it's gonna be a hundred times as sweet as any of his previous victories in celebrating with his beautiful FAMILY on the 18th green...until that day max is gonna continue to dream big & work hard like boats against the current

jeff, despite 2 early birdies brandon hagy shot a 81 & withdrew for the 2nd round...agreed that all of des guys from that special cal team (the best in the history of college golf by any metric) got **** going on for them that extends far beyond golf

michael weaver (a successful investment advisor in fresno) shot a 69 in local qualifying at kings cc in hanford but didn't advance in a 6 for 1 playoff to final qualifying

so there's gonna be 4 bears at the 2025 us open, that's a record during what is now the golden era of cal golf

Shocky1
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^ shocky tryna get the attention of the nooner modern yoga teacher today!!
Econ141
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Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
Shocky1
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Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C1iE5XJPfsb
happy birthday taylor the sailor!!

so proud of u living ur best life in new york city's west village & taking advantage of the cultural opportunities in the big city along with the FREE exercise walking in central park!!

but don't worry, ur dad isn't eating bacon anymore either!!

love u tay, there's such a lotta world to see!!

-ur crazy azz dad

Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


2026 3.57 gpa 6'45" 180 lbs quarterback nainoa lopes from powerhouse st louis high school in honolulu#

real talk: curvy brunette yoga females from the islands (and the mainland) wanna date & marry cal, stanford and ivy league grads when they enter the real world

https://instagr.am/p/CZBRUuwqXIf
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world ('o ia ka hana a ka honua brah)
Jeff82
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Bill, I just saw the story about Max carrying his own bag at the qualifier. Any thoughts about who he should get as his next caddy? I'd imagine Bones would be his first choice, but it appears to me he's happy doing TV.
ac_green33
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Jeff82
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Jeff82 said:

Bill, I just saw the story about Max carrying his own bag at the qualifier. Any thoughts about who he should get as his next caddy? I'd imagine Bones would be his first choice, but it appears to me he's happy doing TV.
Maybe he should hire JJ? That would be a strange turn of events.
Shocky1
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jeff, yeah max fired bill harke after only a couple of tournaments after sunday's round, would be pretty funny if he carries his clubs again this thursday at the canadian open

both max & bones play outta whisper rock here in north scottsdale so that would make a lotta sense as would jj who lives in las vegas & got the right personality for our favorite dodgers fan

bottom line, homa needs someone who is cheerful as ****, knows something about golf & can help him not go to solo red cup endless mental pity parties

yeah the monster gotta suggestion (lacey probably got veto power tho) for max's next caddie

https://instagr.am/p/DFbTKh6ON6N
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

tommy, ur moms & dad fall gameday travels would be a lot simpler if they could watch both the tofi boyz at the same school that's a 30 minute drive from home to memorial stadium (vs all day flights in uncomfortable plane seats, rental counters that are always outta suvs, sorry azz hotel rooms with smelly towels & overpriced dog food restaurants in ****hole truck stop towns that got level 7 hypothermia like eugene...plus shocky has arranged for pops to get a special key to haas pavillion so he can still get his shots up on the mornings of gamedays

ur the #1 2026 high school targeted prospect on the staff's big board & a 1st day out starter in berkeley, remember that only around 38% of the **** that comes outta tosh's mouth is truthful, got it?

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that are interested in life AFTER football by building generational wealth both thru nfl development with coach famika anae in the acc & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)

KAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear mr & mrs tofi,

how are you??

i am fine

don't worry, both famika & shocky are gonna try to stop using bad words when we get ******* EXCITED and ****...we should learn how to use big mother******* words instead!!

https://instagr.am/p/DFqlOYEpHcx
honestly along with the signing of jaron keawe sagapolutele, tommy's commitment to them california golden bears is the most earth shattering commitment since jaylen brown!!

mrs tofi, shocky would implore you to PLEASE reconsider your hard stance to not do the tofi boyz laundry when john jr & tommy room together across the bay, ok??

mr tofi, the monster as promised got the key to haas pavillion so u can still get ur shots up on the mornings of fall gamedays...plz meet me tonite at 4:00 am on the bay bridge at the 4th exit for the treasure island exit for the handoff, got it??

last question, did any of the tofi boyz (maybe ernie?) learn how to swim at garfield when they wuz 5??

see u this fall, GO BEARS!!

best regards,

shocky



Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/DKcdGoHR20Z
cal's MONSTER offensive line update:

with the BLOCKBUSTER commitment today, coach famika anae is assembling/developing an o-line with SIZE:

*****tommy tofi, 6'6" 335 lbs
*****artem korchagin, 6'5" 315 lbs
*****elisha faamatuainu, 6'5" 300 lbs


this is very GOOD NEWS for the quarterback room in memorial stadium!!


the days of undersized o-lines that get pushed backwards are over with the guidance/mentoring by coach anae, coach mcdaniels & coach novak



315+ lbs is the new bare minimum standard in berkeley#
sycasey
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How much excitement should any of us have about these recruiting "commitments" when it seems like any of these players could decide to "transfer" out at any time?
ac_green33
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sycasey said:

How much excitement should any of us have about these recruiting "commitments" when it seems like any of these players could decide to "transfer" out at any time?
I think anybody can have as much excitement as they want to.
Shocky1
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max homa caddie update: sorry gabi but max has hired veteran lance bennett (caddied for tiger woods in the majors last year) for thursday's canadian open
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