Just tatted up Polk street. Union st next pic.twitter.com/S4Cmb50wTZ

— Cal Berkeley State AD Jimbo (@jimboknowlton) August 15, 2025

keep thinking that # is cade's handicap (no ******* way)#

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2026 class:

mason lewis, defensive back (3.7 gpa)
ernest nunley, corner/nickel (3.25 gpa)
rocky cummings, linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
luca georg wolf, tight end (motivated student from austria)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
brady palmer, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
camron brooks, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)
artem korchagin, offensive lineman (4.1 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)
deon jackson, corner/nickel (3.0+ gpa)
jaydn crowder, corner/nickel (3.4 gpa)

2025 class (all former walk ons are now on schollys, CONGRATS!!):

jordan king, wide receiver (4.38 gpa)
alonzo esparza, quarterback (4.0 gpa)
belay brummell, quarterback (3.95 gpa)
carson perry-smith, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
jayden parker, running back (4.16 gpa)
isaac torres, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
mayze bryant, defensive back (3.5 gpa)
jordan franke, longsnapper (3.81 gpa)
dean taylor-chapman, running back (4.0 gpa)
tobey weydemuller, defensive back (3.92 gpa)
jude mclellan, outside linebacker (3.9 gpa)
nate escalada, defensive back (4.23 gpa)
michael cooley, outside linebacker (3.0 gpa)
ewan arechaederra, longsnapper (3.6 gpa)
lucas vanderlind, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
bj jones, inside linebacker (3.55 gpa)
sam bjerke, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
cole bosica, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
myles reber, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jeffrey johnson, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jack olyphant, tight end (3.72 gpa)
rj stephens, defensive lineman (3.77 gpa)
michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)
landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" wilson corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.8 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.8 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv

Just got this marketing email from cal and guess who is still front and center ! pic.twitter.com/DypNEiMwOq

— Twist (@TwistNH7) August 22, 2025

real talk: knowlton packed his **** & took his $1,100,000 annual "retirement" severance thru 2029 to colorado springs 7 weeks ago yet the current co athletic director ****tards jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil are continuing the con artist's legacy of alienating the cal football & basketball fanbases with their anti fb & bb agendas while misapropriating donor funding to olympic sports, they still do NOT get it!!

if u see jay & jenny tomorrow during the bears practice at the FREE food/meet the players extravaganza at memorial stadium, tell them that it's too ******* late for them to deceptively rebrand themselves as football advocates & that they should just **** off and GTFO

worthless bureaucrats 2.0 (rich, hire/promote berkeley grads instead, got it??)#

Mission Viejo has mostly stayed away from Cal commit Jayden Crowder tonight but here he comes up to make a tackle for Santa Margarita in the fourth quarter. @CalBearsOn3 pic.twitter.com/kpU2Jfw0TV

— Matt Moreno (@MattRMoreno) August 23, 2025

2026 3.4 gpa commit (the dreams & nightmare TAKERS physically tackle in open space)#



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including dizzyland)

cal's monster class FREE talent evaluations:

https://instagr.am/p/CQ4AaXWh9E7


^ fascinating conversation at the 34 minute 30 second mark re: the power of SMILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fun fact: PONYTAILS r triggering (particularly when they r tied & retied)!!

sad fact: shocky don't got no ponytail which is a mandatory requirement along with 700+ hours of training in order to become a certified substitute teacher at modern yoga

real talk: curvy brunette yoga females with PONYTAILS from academically mediocre schools like asu find berkeley, stanford & ivy league degreed guys triggering when they enter the REAL WORLD

don't be a dumb azz (wut's ur ******* gpa??)#

Don’t miss the last person's reaction at the @TOURChamp ! ⛳️ 🤩@Tuvok12Official | @FedEx pic.twitter.com/H2tjwgvXWF

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 23, 2025

2025 tour championship at east lake: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (70, tied for 17th): gutty round with a clutch birdie 4 on the architecturally poorly designed par 5 18th hole for our california golden bear with ELITE driving the golf ball (12 outta 14 fairways, 86%) but kinda miscalculated iron play (only 9 of 18 greens hit in regulation, 50%) & once again like yesterday multiple putts lost right of the cup due to not fully releasing the putterhead

weird fashion choice for morikawa wearing all black on a nasty hot as **** humid day with intermittent rain/swirling winds...bogey for kat & koa keeping dad in style

seriously why would anyone wanna live in the deep south like georgia or a ****hole truck stop town in oklahoma if they had the legit option of living in the san francisco bay area with cali weather??

Shocky1 said:

---

Don’t miss the last person's reaction at the @TOURChamp ! ⛳️ 🤩@Tuvok12Official | @FedEx pic.twitter.com/H2tjwgvXWF

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 23, 2025

2025 tour championship at east lake: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (70, tied for 17th): gutty round with a clutch birdie 4 on the architecturally poorly designed par 5 18th hole for our california golden bear with ELITE driving the golf ball (12 outta 14 fairways, 86%) but kinda miscalculated iron play (only 9 of 18 greens hit in regulation, 50%) & once again like yesterday multiple putts lost right of the cup due to not fully releasing the putterhead

weird fashion choice for morikawa wearing all black on a nasty hot as **** humid day with intermittent rain/swirling winds...bogey for kat & koa keeping dad in style

seriously why would anyone wanna live in the deep south like georgia or a ****hole truck stop town in oklahoma if they had the legit option of living in the san francisco bay area with cali weather??

---

Says the guy who lives in Arizona…..

alky, my longtime club in flagstaff (home of starting tackle candidate nick morrow) is at 7000+ elevation (higher than lake tahoe) & the summertime temps are usually in the 70s & sometimes the 80s with zero humidity plus the ball travels forevah in the thin air!!

https://instagr.am/p/CvVQj-RPjH_
u gotta open invitation to tee it up with me next summer off route 66, got it??

plus shocky's summertime golf travels take him around the globe in search of the next great links

and nitetime swimming naked with his barking rescue doggy dog pack in shocky's north scottsdale backyard cobalt blue tiled pool is FUN too!!

https://instagr.am/p/DMTkgoQNFRF
clothes r for losers#

Great team win last night @AwestFootball !
Hunting season has begun ☠️ #boogeyman
@Coach_MikeBruno @Coach_Sooto @GregBiggins @adamgorney @BrandonHuffman @JoeMento @tommys2s pic.twitter.com/Pgjd1aDtBP

— Jaxon Pyatt (@JaxonPyatt) August 23, 2025

2026 3.4 gpa sideline to sideline linebacker with relentless pursuit jaxon pyatt#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university on planet earth (including rocky mountain high school in arvada)

BREAKING NEWS 🚨

Cade Uluave has been taking reps at quarterback, preparing to start on week 1 versus Washington State #GoBears pic.twitter.com/Xxn7R3sz5V

— Morgano (@Morganzobeanzo) August 23, 2025

cal's monster class qb1!! (let's kick the cougs to the curb in the palouse)#

https://instagr.am/p/DF8OWKavdIS

https://instagr.am/p/BmROTXngLar
hawaii rainbow warriors 23
stanford cardinal 20

shocky wuz rooting for his poly brah bows but the stanford cardinal (0-1) loss is slightly mitigated by the fact that most analysts view cal & stanford as a package deal in the next round of conference realignments...yeah end of the game field goal kicking is kinda important, right justin??

素晴らしい!!!

Kansei called game 😤#BRADDAHHOOD x #GoBows pic.twitter.com/mitoa5d01T

— Hawaii Football (@HawaiiFootball) August 24, 2025

offensively the cards are running the elephant run schemes of their glory teams without future nfl linemen & wide receivers which is compounded by the fact that qb1 ben gulbanson (seeking admission into med school after this season, 15 for 30 for an anemic 109 yards & an interception) is a -1 athletic statue (opponents including our staff will put 8 defenders in the box)

defensively congrats to inside backer hunter barth on 4 tackles including a sack, the only other d playmaker for the cards wuz backer matt rose with a relentless 12 solo (13 overall) tackles

one of the most dumb azz transfers in recent times wuz this offseason when former 4.0 gpa berkeley high school (heavily recruited by the bears) wideout jackson harris (6 catches for 59 yards) transferred from stanford to hawaii...when jackson is 30 years old and the valet supervisor at the claremont resort paying bills with tip money he's probably gonna look back at that life changing decision with regret...that's the equivalence of transferring from harvard to oklahoma state or something and a great way to **** up ur future

I think the goal is 0-12 https://t.co/LAL7l6nqVg

— Twist (@TwistNH7) August 23, 2025