New look? https://t.co/Fti3egRA8L

— Cade Uluave (@cadeuluave) July 28, 2025

cade uluave update:

cade spent his sunday afternoon going to the new barbershop on bancroft "the twelves knives of tibet" (instead of just going to supercuts like shocky) & it's all ****** up now!!

dang, uluave now looks kinda like one of them rescue hairless doggy dogs



woof, woof, woof, i cry#

Shocky1 said:

---

New look? https://t.co/Fti3egRA8L

— Cade Uluave (@cadeuluave) July 28, 2025

cade uluave update:
cade spent his sunday afternoon going to the new barbershop on bancroft "the twelves knives of tibet" (instead of just going to supercuts like shocky) & it's all ****** up now!!

dang, uluave now looks kinda like one of them rescue hairless doggy dogs



woof, woof, woof, i cry#

---

https://instagr.am/p/DQE29MyEYKO
california golden bears 69
sacramento state hornets 52

season home opener victory for the women's bears (1-1), this team plays hard & unselfishly shares the ball but will need to find interior defensive solutions moving forward

yeah nohl williams gotta curvy brunette yoga girlfriend with a ponytail who is also the wbb team's undisputed leader & one of the top 3 point shooters in the acc...let it fly lulu, let it fly!!

the university of california, berkeley (where high gpa student athletes come together with Pacific Ocean breezes)=#1 ranked public university in the world (including australia's sunshine coast)

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/BK1PpkdD858
https://instagr.am/p/CrQzWZ4LD5g____________________________________________________________________

OFFICIAL CAL FOOTBALL 2027 RECRUIT QUESTIONNAIRE:

Wut's ur name & r u a registered voter?

Do u got a nickname or wut does your moms call u?

Wut's ur GPA?
Note: if u got a **** GPA ur not going nowhere, do not continue completing this form

Wut's ur timed 40 SPEED?
Note: if u got a **** 40 time ur not going nowhere, do not continue completing this form

R u from Cali, Utah, Hawaii or Texas?

If ur from Cali wut time in the evening are the tasty subway sandwiches discounted to half price at Legoland?

If ur from Utah and see you see a piece of litter at Arches National Park do u pick it up or pretend that's not ur responsibility to protect Mother Earth?

If ur from Hawaii wut are ur top 3 food trucks on the North Shore?

If ur from Texas wut is ur Buc-ee's membership #?

Is ur Dream School a low rent academic school located in a ****hole truck stop town with lot lizards with CFM pumps & STDs like Stillwater?

How important is Berkeley's ranking as the #1 rated public school in the WORLD in ur final decision on a scale of 1 to 10?

Yes or No: R u aware that curvy brunette yoga females with smokeshow ponytails from academically mediocre schools like ASU, Nevada & San Diego State wanna date & marry Berkeley, Stanford & Ivy League grads when they enter the REAL WORLD that unremorsefully favors the well educated in building GENERATIONAL WEALTH?

I'll never forget them https://t.co/xKEZUbdvuS pic.twitter.com/qq6PIHNXtx

— ꩜ (@laylology) January 14, 2025

Wut's ur preferred position(s) to play?
Note: do NOT send any fotos

R u wanted on any felonies (wanted in 2 states, can't move wrong?) or do u got multiple baby mamas?

Do u luv them rescue doggy dogs & do u help old women cross the street?

Do u got any weird as **** hobbies like Broncs Baker & make Batman souvenir trinkets that nobody wants?

Do u got a membership at Modern Yoga?

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

---

MAJOR cal football recruiting updates:

cal's monster class management team just had a 90 minute zoom call with benji palu & marshall cherrington which resulted in a low depth discussion of 5 KEY new developments which wuz previously 100% unbeknownst to that dumb azz shocky:

1) in an innovative effort get ahead of the acc competition the staff during the current bye week is gonna focus on the recruiting profiles of multiple high gpa zony girl's flag football stars (which is the FASTEST growing sport in the desert with front page of the sports section coverage in the arizona republic)

https://instagr.am/p/DAe9c-JvHoQ
2) with the program looking for an immediate infusion of SPEED at the skill positions the staff is targeting high gpa (early enrollee) colorado track stars for the upcoming early january transfer portal window

https://instagr.am/p/DNeRNXKykhb
3) the bears next GREAT inside backer (in the coach wilcox d scheme all the action/tackles flow to this position) 2027 3.6 gpa broncs baker has NOT completed yet the above questionnaire with the excuse that he's "too busy" with his welding bull**** & +1 athletic unreal 1 hand handstands or something

4) the success of the 2026 class will largely be measured on whether or not the staff can close on unreal SPEED rb1 penn state decommit 3.6 gpa messiah mickens who got an official visit scheduled to low gpa disposable gladiator football factory ole miss (the rebs talented rb1 kewan lacy is only a sophmore, kiffin is fantastic at stacking rooms with surplus depth)

5) the recruiting team is being flooded with points of contact from high gpa polys in the 2026 & 2027 classes that wanna play with humble 3.75 gpa lefty jaron keawe sagapolutele & live in randy scott's near campus poly house with fresh hawaii food truck meals flown in daily (which is way the **** more tasty than tuesday fish nites at the unit 2 dorm which shocky could smell a block away back in the day)!!

who knew??

https://instagr.am/p/DQ2nJH6CZG0
woof, woof, woof, i cry#

Shocky, any true freshman on the roster you excited to see for next season? (excluding JKS and the starting Safety of course

Members = Playmakers 🔒@BrentAustin23 @HezekiahMasses #SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/GsCPcHWeAe

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) November 10, 2025

joego, during the pregame warm ups at memorial stadium the minnesota athletic director tole me while we wuz on the field that they are already modeling potential future rosters based upon his belief that the ncca is moving towards 5 years of eligibility in 5 years (which will basically end redshirting)...both hezekiah masses & brent austin will be downgraded by nfl scouts for their lack of physicality in run tackling as they wuz EXPOSED in blacksburg with their flag football style of play which will be compounded by the fact that 1st year dbs in the nfl gotta be trusted special teams warriors to bring value & neither one of them has made VIOLENT blitz sacks or lighting anybody up behind the line of scrimmage & would most likely return for another season of building up their bodies if granted that opportunity instead of being august undrafted free agency nfl roster cuts

and it won't be fully unknown until after the bowl game who is gonna return to berkeley or move on...it's already known that rb4 jamaal wiley & wr14 isaac torres are gone for good...and there will be eligibility appeals with the ncca for multiple former junior college attendees including everybody's favorite (including vals who never misses an opportunity to film him shirtless!!) filipino superstar wr1 jacob de jesus

but with that being said the true freshman shocky is most excited to see in 2026 spring ball is pic 6 ball hawk jae'on young who like zeke & brent needs to continue building his body in coach novak's transformational s&c program...would not be surprised at all if jae'on is a starting TAKER next season in berkeley!!

https://instagr.am/p/DB9oDTLSq5u
NFL defensive backs get PAID to VIOLENTLY take offensive skill players to the ******* woodshed (not just defend passes)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DQ4fpvwD1_a
cal's monster class question of the day: wut do the small niche of cal tv fans (angry and frustrated with their lives) do when they see true cal fans excitedly STORM THE FIELD in palo alto with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind hugging both friends & strangers alike while the cal band belts out our favorite tunes??

1) they excitedly scream & yell just like they wuz at the game until the landlord tells them to shut the **** up!!

2) they STORM the kitchenette in their apartment & get another 6 pac of schlitz malt liquor & get further ****** up to the point that they can't even smell anymore the urine on their sofa which is fine cuz they live alone!!

3) they are emotionally upset at fans celebrating a VICTORY so they log onto the bearinsider.com & make yet another repetitive largely ignored (nobody reads their ****) "wilcox needs to be FIRED" post before they get ready for their late nite shift at 7/11 working for their new "azzhole supervisor" who wrote them up last week for putting a box of hostess cupcakes in their backpack & not paying for it...it's funny how the cal tv fans that demand "championships" because they got "higher expectations" than everybody else are always also the least successful in life, hmmmm

4) they immediately buy a ticket(s) to the smu game for the 2025 regular season finale so they can experience in person generational qb1 talent JARON KEAWE SAGAPOLTELE's unreal passes into tight windows!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQ25dl6CaTQ
real talk: tv fans r losers (the MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL must be experienced LIVE!!)#

https://instagr.am/p/DQ2BSwMD0wp


this is cal golf (let's ******* go to stinson beach in the summer of love!!)#

https://instagr.am/p/DPRyppSCcM2
^ shocky's sorry azz gram wuz started & is 100% run by his daughter taylor, the monster's flip phone takes zero fotos & ****

nobody on the road, nobody at the beach, summer is outta reach

it's november & is everyone associated with the california golden bears football program working their azzs off at their craft or just locked into cruise control because it's a bye week??

look we've already seen in san diego how this heartbreaking movie ends when the bears take a cali rivalry game for granted & disrespect their opponents and time is not gonna rewrite every line for a different ending of the smiles we left behind at snapdragon stadium

but why does this november (which has been a cinematic ****show during the wilcox era) feel different in the corners of my mind??

first of all, championship football teams win in november because they got a demanding successful s&c program, coach novak & his remarkable staff's body transformations ensured the 6-4 bears wuz physically/mentally prepared to win a football game against the nation's #15 program last saturday nite in the land of elvis, bourbon & secretariat

secondly, generational talent qb1 jaron wuz noticeably more animated/engaging on the sidelines vs louisville...great teams got great on the field leadership (right paws??) and his teammates implicitly trust/believe in humble lefty jaron keawe sagapolutele's unyielding/unbreakable firmly entrenched FAITH

so if we have a chance to do it all again, tell me would we, could we??



the way we were (0-34, what's too painful to remember we simply choose to forget)!!#

michael is apparently passing on shocky's recommendation to do the indoor skiing adventure (admittedly a poor value) in dubai today

My ride to the course this week pic.twitter.com/CuR9I7zD40

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) November 10, 2025

When I saw Masses step aside a runner going into the endzone from the two I told my wife I'd bench him. Don't care that he leads the team in interceptions. I had just watched a mini documentary on Walsh building the 49ers. His first year they were bad but he came into the locker room after a game and didn't describe some wiz bang offense or defense he said, "We will not be out hit in any game!!". The next year he drafted Ronnie Lott and three of the other four defensive backfield, and he signed Hacksaw Reynolds and Fred Dean. Football is first and foremost a game of toughness. I've always thought Wilcox's team play soft. I've seen a few glimmers this year but they aren't sustained.

Moss to Moss 🔥@millermoss7 grabs the deflected pass & rushes for 19

📺 ESPN2#GoCards pic.twitter.com/uyxZMPx9La

— Louisville Football (@LouisvilleFB) November 9, 2025

#5: gonna be cut in august as an undrafted free agent#

Shocky1 said:

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Moss to Moss 🔥@millermoss7 grabs the deflected pass & rushes for 19

📺 ESPN2#GoCards pic.twitter.com/uyxZMPx9La

— Louisville Football (@LouisvilleFB) November 9, 2025

#5: gonna be cut in august as an undrafted free agent#

---

I find it hard to believe we have coaches not screaming at him and benching him. Honestly I'm still trying to find Wilcox's strength as a head coach, a defensive one at that.

^ 82, this is a really bad take of the situation, the bears under coach wilcox have developed more defensive backs the last couple of years that have gotten PAID in the national football league than any other collegiate program

it's a fact that justin has personally challenged zeke to become more physical at the point of attack in defending opposing run games, either masses is gonna accept the challenge or not

the nfl does not have a db role for 7&7 coverage superstars (leading the nation in interceptions) that wanna play candy azz soft flag football in defending rushing attacks

FIRST DOWN MARCELLOUS HAWKINS 🤝 pic.twitter.com/ZqmfloMshb

— Virginia Tech Football (@HokiesFB) October 25, 2025

https://instagr.am/p/DQ7BuZSjv_w
ucla transfer portal evaluations:

the bruins (3-6) are heading this weekend to columbus for a physically violent BEATDOWN en route to a 9 loss season (also play usc & washington to conclude the season), then ucla will experience an exodus of starters in the january transfer portal as a result of a brand new coaching & support staff which most likely will result in a 10 loss 2026 including the september 5th calimony celebration when shocky will lead the golden bear nation in stormin' the field (the monster will pay any acc fines) in perhaps the final time ucla evah plays at memorial stadium!!

this is how REBUILDS work in today's college football world unless u got multiple billionaires like texas tech that prioritize their team winning on saturdays above all else, this is lost on the uninformed niche blowhard cal's tv fanbase that want wilcox gone no matter what...ucla is gonna lose probably 19 games between 2025 & 2026

anyways during this bye week marshall cherrington & his staff need to watch cut ups of a couple key bruins starters that might be willing to trade a ucla for a berkeley degree & a winning plus bowl game 2026 season playing with jaron & company!!

the bears primary recruiting competition right now is most often ucla & stanford, we need to be ready for the most wonderful time in westworld

and yeah it wouldn't hurt if the chancellor of berkeley (and former dean of shocky's biz school) would communicate thru me (rich got my email) that he's willing to guarantee admission into the haas biz school for my guy high gpa mateen bhaghani (the ice in his veins with unreal accuracy collin morikawa of placekicking)

https://instagr.am/p/DP-aRgpEVul

Shocky1 said:

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^ 82, this is a really bad take of the situation, the bears under coach wilcox have developed more defensive backs the last couple of years that have gotten PAID in the national football league than any other collegiate program

it's a fact that justin has personally challenged zeke to become more physical at the point of attack in defending opposing run games, either masses is gonna accept the challenge or not

the nfl does not have a db role for 7&7 coverage superstars (leading the nation in interceptions) that wanna play candy azz soft flag football in defending rushing attacks

FIRST DOWN MARCELLOUS HAWKINS 🤝 pic.twitter.com/ZqmfloMshb

— Virginia Tech Football (@HokiesFB) October 25, 2025

---

Tough applies to every position. Tackling tough means not holding on and giving up an extra yard or two. RBs who do get an extra yard or two or even break tackles. OLs that push their man back and not just wall off (this year is better). Receivers who block for run plays and WR screens. These have all been deficiencies throughout Wilcox's tenure. I'll stipulate that quality players make a difference in this area but Wilcox is responsible for this too.

Our @PFSNcollege highest-graded ACC CBs:

Hezekiah Masses, Cal: 90.8
Brent Austin, Cal: 87.7
Demetres Samuel Jr., Syracuse: 87.6
Avieon Terrell, Clemson: 87.6
Aaron Morris, Stanford: 87.1
Devon Marshall, NC State: 86.2
Shawn Lee Jr., Pittsburgh: 86.2
Keionte Scott, Miami: 85.4… pic.twitter.com/mUbV7sDSgO

— Cam Mellor (@CamMellor) November 11, 2025

stfu shocky (signed zeke and paco)#

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CKuDqtxA42X


2025 veteran's day (with deep appreciation for those including american 9/11 hero mark bingham that daily risk their lives in protecting us from harm's way)#

---

https://instagr.am/p/DQ8HNc-iaK1
hall of shame: and shame on former cal golfer sampson zheng on his quest to join the 9/11 terrorist financed liv exhibition golf league which is absolutely disgraceful

https://instagr.am/p/DQ7xchlkvXn
cal poly-berkeley=50 year friendships

https://instagr.am/p/DQ8SbrJkaao
california golden bears 60
pacific tigers 52

australian lulu twidale (who leaned/cored out her body this offseason in workouts with her boyfriend/future fiance nohl williams) led them bears (2-1 heading into this saturday's 3:00 pm tip off vs charlotte) in diversifying her perimeter 3 point game by getting to the bucket with aggressive slashes (which invariably results in fouls for one of the best free throw shooters in women's basketball) in scoring 19 points!!



but it's a shame that chancellor lyons (who brings a background of innovation) is allowing the current co athletic director ****tard jennifer simon-o'neil (not a berkeley grad who rich sat with on the berkeley name changing committee, he's paying her just south of $500,000 to do ****) to basically crush this hard working team's gameday attendance (once again less than 1000 actual fans, worthless bureaucrats like jenny shamelessly lie about performance metrics in a pathetic attempt to obfuscate their incompetence) by non existent marketing which has resulted in roughly half the fanbase being 75+ & almost no students/young fanbase despite the fact the women's basketball is the FASTEST growing sports in the united states of america

the evil as **** simon-o'neil (who enabled the darkest days of cal athletics with the suicidal women's swimmers who suffered both racism & unspeakable mental/physical tortures, she should be in prison) currently lords over a soccer program with sexual harassment allegations: https://www.ktvu.com/news/former-cal-athlete-allowed-to-sue-her-coach-and-university-in-a-precedent-setting-case, the 7-17 volleyball program, hired a mentally unstable women's softball coach who had to be replaced this year, perennially uncompetitive track & cross country programs and losing record lacrosse & field hockey programs...what a ******* ****show!!

yet jenny (general knowlton's boots on the ground during his remote "work" in colorado springs) found time along with fellow co athletic director ****tard jay larson (not a berkeley grad, men's attendance is also abysmal with only 1200 actual fans at each of the 1st 2 games & not the falsified #s that are being reported under his watch) to recommend this year a reduction in the cal football program's nutrition budget & report several cal football staffers to the ncca for minor recruiting violations

rich, when r u gonna throw the unlikeable trash out & promote berkeley grad andrew mcgraw to athletic director in order to exponentially grow the fanbase of these potential revenue sports & kickoff legit fundraising energy for the critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility??

we are all black beetles (release the cash, haters mad for whatever reasons) at the greatest public university in the world!!#

Shocky1 said:

---

justin wilcox: tireless worker who cares about the academic goals/ambitions of his student athletes, an ELITE defensive mind that continually fails to get involved with offensive & special teams...an intensely private person in a profession that favors extroverts vs introverts

brian johnson: good person that beat cancer but a FAILED s&c coach that needs to be replaced later this month, wilcox not having the stomach for this will doom 2025 once again to epidemic INJURIES & yet another underachieving season...this is by far the #1 issue holding back the cal football program

mike bloesch: very detailed offensive line coach that lost focus on o-line development this past year tryna unsuccessfully juggle both his room & play calling duties...not an emotionally available person due to his stoic personality, mike stubbornly refuses to listen to the more than half of the staff's preference for less interior run schemes in favor of PITCHOUTS...this is the #2 issue adversely impacting cal fb

peter sirmon: an outstanding defensive coordinator & ELITE developer of inside backers, his biggest miscue of 2025 wuz not giving hunter & liam more snaps early in the season particularly in the miami game which resulted in cade & teddye gassed in the 4th quarter & unable to tackle the canes qb1 & wr1 in open space

ryan longwell: former nfl kicker/low handicap golfer it's mind boggling to me that ryan didn't see in mateen the collin morikawa like ELITE precision in his stroke coupled with an ice in his veins mental make up...if ryan can put together a deal (outlined in an earlier post) for mateen then cal's special teams could be the best in the acc next season, otherwise more lost games because of missed field goals is a real possibility

aristotle thompson: likable coach with a remarkable family but has never produced a nfl draft running back, his failing to advocate for PITCHOUTS like ron gould did back in the day has cost jaydn millions of dollars

burl toler: one of the best west coast recruiters with his sincere ability to build relationships & sell berkeley academics, burl has also built a now ingrained zero BLOCKING culture in his wideout room which has hurt the nfl scouting evaluations of his players

mike saffell: the engaging FUN haas berkeley biz ad grad is the future head coach in berkeley (our version of asu's home grown dillingham), would be nice if he elevated the BLOCKING expectations in the tight end room before that day gets here

sterlin gilbert: a gifted developer of quarterback talent, he also shares bloesch's texas high school background of smashmouth only interior runs/**** run game schemes

andrew browning: very good coach in a tough spot recruiting historically the lowest gpa position in college football, andrew is a plus for the program

vic so'oto: more fiery this season is a real plus given the kinda buttoned up personalities of wilcox & sirmon, his earlier recruiting mistakes with low gpa prospects are now in the rear view mirror

tre watson & terrence brown: the PERFECT coaches in this era of college free agency, the are both FUN & mentoring their room both on & the off the field to become remarkable young berkeley grads...and if a player has nfl physical tools, they will get them to the next level of their dreams & PAID in the national football league!!

marshall cherrington: a high energy recruiter who juggles well, marshall has learned from his earlier wasted time/resources recruitments of low gpa academic silver bullets, struggling academically students will be the 1st to bail from berkeley when a better nil offer rolls in

valerie grimaldo: berkeley grad in 3 years is very creative & got a good PONYTAIL!!

andrew mcgraw: the most qualified next ad to hit the ground running (cal athletics is running out of time under knowlton's cluster****) with a football first approach to everything which will help finance all other sports...needs to be more assertive in guiding wilcox thru his blind side

sierra achin: the berkeley grad is a huge upgrade in the cfo role from the anti football/basketball agenda tom lowry who retired last year after carrying out the knowlton driven financial tsunami of loans from the central campus which will never have the future revenues for repayment

beth tafolla-voetsch: a competent administrator, her conference call with donors scheduled for this friday soliciting fundraising is NOT gonna be well received just like the earlier zoom call (described to me as a "timeshare sales pitch") requesting funding for all the non revenue sports...NOBODY wants to pay for worthless bureaucrats

markeisha everett: an arrogant self promoter who decision to not offer FREE tixs to all students & also failing to capitalize on the professional sports team tix competition departing from the bay area marketspace has resulted in tens of thousands empty seats/a lotta tarps at memorial stadium & high school crowds at haas pavilion for both the men's & women's basketball teams

jennifer simon-o'neil: the one truly evil as **** person in the athletic department, still tryna lobby for internal nil dollars to be distributed to the star quidditch player instead of the starting offensive line

james knowlton: the general is financially illiterate & a pathological liar (both promising the basketball practice facility which is never gonna get built under his watch & deceiving the uc board of regents last months utilizing 2023 financial data instead of projected 2025 numbers while lyons quietly played along with his deception), he's NOT liked by the football program or even his own staff other than jenny & marekisha who like him are not employable anywhere else on planet earth

rich lyons: means well & loves cal sports in a profound way but after working decades on campus his decision to not terminate knowlton re: the mckeever fiasco via the chancellor's office guard dog dan mogulof is beyond disappointing, if rich can't embolden himself to make decisions his tenure in a time of existential financial challenges barreling towards berkeley his legacy will be just that of another bureaucrat who got paid to look out the window at the campanile on a wintery december day

lance cooper: the program mvp, cal football would be unrecognizable without his involvement

kevin kennedy: see above, his pro bono work pencils out at about 5 cents an hour for his thousands of unbillable hours

randy scott: cal men's basketball biggest madsen confidante & football/basketball landlord of the year

oski: got replaced by buc-ee, huge ******* upgrade!!

the world according to shocky#

---

^ shocky wrote the above organizational analysis 12 months ago, he clearly outlined then that the #1 factor holding back the football program wuz the then failing STRENGTH AND CONDITIONING PROGRAM

teams that win football games in november (and december) got challenging accountable s&c metrics in place, coach novak and his remarkable staff are the unsung MVPs of the cal football program & last saturday nite's upset victory of the #15 ranked team in the nation thousands of miles away from the left coast is a TRANSFORMATIONAL step forward in the upward trajectory of the cal football program!!

yeah now more bears (unlike shocky who is built like a lean feral doggy dog) are constructed like tony g which is gonna help them attract the right curvy brunette yoga female from an academically mediocre school that wanna date & marry a berkeley, stanford or ivy league grad when they enter the real world that unremorsefully favors the well educated (and those with FUN personalities) in building generational wealth!!

https://instagr.am/p/CzGzGiOgJJE

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DLbJrObSgOw
ucla update: our friends (their checks don't bounce) in westworld are gonna announce on the monday after the usc fiasco that the school is gonna break the lease with the iconic rose bowl (which will alienate a significant # of their old timers, this would be like our home games at memorial stadium moving to that soulless concrete corporate structure in san jose like the 49ers) & move to so fi stadium starting with the 2026 season which means them california golden bears are gonna get another opportunity to redeem ourselves in inglewood in september of 27 (mark my words, there will be more bears fans than bruins fans that day)!!

do wanna join me on that gameday for lunch on the patio overlooking the pacific ocean at my favorite restaurant on planet earth (nobu malibu), woof, woof, woof, i cry??

shocky's favorite latina that grew up (and got ruthlessly bullied in high school which necessitated a change to home schooling) in the shadows of so fi stadium is a really picky eater in real life!!

https://instagr.am/p/C2-dWDwPjde

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Judge rules against Rose Bowl Operating Co. and City of Pasadena in their attempt to obtain a temporary restraining order barring UCLA from further exploring leaving the Rose Bowl until pending litigation is resolved.

— Ben Bolch (@latbbolch) November 12, 2025

Shocky1 said:

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Berkeley game pic.twitter.com/vd5EyehuJx

— Reese Adams (@ReeseAdams76102) October 22, 2025

^ listen to shocky identify & call out to reese pre snap jaron's freshman telegraphed audible iso boundary pass to trond!!

reese, wut's ur take on louisville brah??

but gotta be honest with u, ur not my favorite reese (handstands r for winners, headstands r for losers)

https://instagr.am/p/DQezveDkan8

---

https://instagr.am/p/DQ8SdiPCPku
KABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vals, this is AWARD winning cinematography, the post game behind the scenes locker room celebration footage is ******* EPIC!!

https://instagr.am/p/DQ-R-lRklY3
all american inside linebacker sighting: cade uluave moving smoothly after practice!!

"do u guys got ur tixs to the stanford game??"#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

Help is on the way Shocky!

https://instagr.am/p/DQ927oVEkN4
KAAAAAAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

51, callixte alzas is a potential future euro ryder cup SUPERSTAR, this is a transformational men's golf recruitment of a remarkable young man has already shined at the CATHEDRALS of golf on the games largest stages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/DLUn369tSk5
congrats to coach wilson & coach ireland on this game changing addition (perhaps on the magnitude of shocky's yoga protege jaylen brown or my fellow poly brah jaron keawe sagapolutele), desinty is calling mon ami callixte to berkeley!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including france)

I don’t remember the last time I had the solo first round lead… honestly might be my first as a pro?

Let’s keep it going! https://t.co/eQFyZRKOTz

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) November 13, 2025

2025 dp tour championship in dubai: 1st round update

michael kim (64, 1st place leader):

perhaps the greatest ball striking round (hit 11 outta 18 approaches WITHIN 10 feet!!) of michael's career (figured out the pulled irons from abu dhabi last week in a zoom call with swing coach sean foley) shooting 8 under par despite burning the right side of the cup on the 16th thru the 18th holes from under 10 feet on each birdie putt!!

Just trying to not get sand all over me haha

One of the birdies of the yr https://t.co/pOIBPcw5yG

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) November 13, 2025

michael got a very favorable 2nd round pairing playing in the final group twosome with congenial & genuinely nice guy tommy fleetwood (-7)

this is the GOLDEN ERA of cal golf with 4 SUPERSTARS in max homa, michael kim, byeong hun an & collin morikawa that will all be legit contenders to win each of the MAJORS in 2026!!

yeah cal golfers play the CATHDERALS of golf on the games largest stages, let's ******* go!!

To celebrate playing the DP World Tour championship, I’ll giveaway one gift from the clubhouse here at Jumeirah Golf Estates.

Guess my locker number for the week to win!

1-200 pic.twitter.com/nOmP0oCIN4

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) November 12, 2025

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DLbJrObSgOw
ucla update: our friends (their checks don't bounce) in westworld are gonna announce on the monday after the usc fiasco that the school is gonna break the lease with the iconic rose bowl (which will alienate a significant # of their old timers, this would be like our home games at memorial stadium moving to that soulless concrete corporate structure in san jose like the 49ers) & move to so fi stadium starting with the 2026 season which means them california golden bears are gonna get another opportunity to redeem ourselves in inglewood in september of 27 (mark my words, there will be more bears fans than bruins fans that day)!!

do wanna join me on that gameday for lunch on the patio overlooking the pacific ocean at my favorite restaurant on planet earth (nobu malibu), woof, woof, woof, i cry??

shocky's favorite latina that grew up (and got ruthlessly bullied in high school which necessitated a change to home schooling) in the shadows of so fi stadium is a really picky eater in real life!!

https://instagr.am/p/C2-dWDwPjde

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Judge rules against Rose Bowl Operating Co. and City of Pasadena in their attempt to obtain a temporary restraining order barring UCLA from further exploring leaving the Rose Bowl until pending litigation is resolved.

— Ben Bolch (@latbbolch) November 12, 2025

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Somehow the likely upcoming vacancy at the Rose Bowl seems like an opportunity for Cal. Would it be possible for Cal to set up a revolving series of games held every season at the Rose Bowl against a southland opponent such as UCLA, USC, and San Diego State? Maybe like a kick-off classic? Be nice to take advantage of the opening at the Rose Bowl and enhance our recruiting presence down south.

Shocky1 said:

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DIME.@ElijahBrown_29 drops it in the bucket to @CJWilliams_03 🎯

📺 @TheCW_Sports pic.twitter.com/Xy1QC0FjrZ

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) November 9, 2025

north carolina tar heels 20
stanford cardinals 15

as our future conference realignment partner we needed the cards (3-7) to hold serve on their home court vs the tar heels (4-5) which is probably disappointing to jordan hudson who now gotta pretend to celebrate which involves seeing billy b naked or something which is understandably traumatizing

stanford's new qb1 (replacing high gpa future med school student/terrible passer ben gulbanson) is now elijah brown who is a huge upgrade in passing for 279 yards on 27 of 39 passing with 1 interception but he wuz sacked all game due to the swiss cheese cards o-line which will be exploitable by tj bush & his fellow apex predator edge defenders in the big game

congrats to my guy zony hunter barth (future ceo of carvana, shocky is gonna let his golf buddy billionaire ernie garcia know wut's up) on the volleyball swat takeaway

OUR BALL!!@mattrose5_ & @hunter_barth_ ALL OVER this one to give the Card the ball back 💪 pic.twitter.com/4IJ07p4U6f

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) November 8, 2025

our time on planet earth is finite, r u gonna be in palo alto on saturday november 22nd to celebrate with ur fellow bears fans as we hopefully outnumber (again) the host school & storm the ******* field which is indescribable with the cal band playing & both friends/strangers hugging it out in a unrestrained joyous moment in time if the bears are both feral & hungry!!

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Cal Centel had a chance to interview Ben Gulbranson earlier today and he had this to say about being demoted to QB2:

"Finally; I'm just here for the free med school tuition. I didn't understand why they started me until I saw Elijah Brown 'practice'. Boy plays like ass." pic.twitter.com/YvHbuWdzci

— CalCentel (@TheCalCentel) November 10, 2025

real talk#

kansas state wildcats 99
california golden bears. 96

cal's not so monster class: turned on the cal vs kansas state game while responding to emails, did not recognize or know a single thing about any of the bears but can tell u that they do not play DEFENSE (that **** would not be acceptable to cuonzo martin or mike montgomery)



stfu shocky (r u still a butt hurt DRAMA QUEEN almost a decade later??)#


fun fact: ^ shocky does NOT wear black dresses in real life!!

Jaylen Brown lost pretty badly to that kid by the looks of the board.

cam, r u a lead detective at scotland yard accustomed to tracking the smallest of details??

that's some serious sleuthing brah!!...ur rite the board kinda looks like a 0-34 azz kicking or something!!

fyi, nico chaisin is a 2400 elo player & an international masters champion, she plays outta the marshall chess club on 10th street in nyc

part of our branding strategy with jb is to market him as an intellectual (basically a +2 athletic version of shocky)

Jaron Keawe Sagapolutele reaffirms his commitment to Cal

The Ewa Beach native says he's not going anywhere & plans to be their QB for the next 2-3 years

"I want to stay here. This is where I want to be at." @JaronKeawe @HawaiiNewsNow @CalFootball pic.twitter.com/1njepdTgWt

— Cienna Pilotin (@ciennapilotin) November 13, 2025

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (for those that got FAITH that cal football can climb the highest peaks)