2026 la open at riviera: 2nd round update

Fridays at Riviera 🤩 pic.twitter.com/iJ9oKbKBgn

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) February 20, 2026

max homa (66, tied for 12th): vista valencia junkyard dawg max homa is playing like a little kid that don't give 2 ***** with an unreal mini flop shot birdie 2 hole out from a death warmed over downhill/sidehill lie in the unpredictable kikuyu rough on the diabolical par 3 16th hole which fueled the short sided up & down sandy birdie 4 on the par 5 17th hole and then scrambled for a par on the iconic hillside par 4 18th hole at the riv...great twosome pairing tomorrow with the talkative/cheerful as **** jordan spieth

collin morikawa (69, tied for 16th): 3 more unreal artistic straight up filthy sand splashes on the 9th, 11th & 14th holes with the newly patented morikawa technique of choking up to the steel & swinging with SPEED outta the riv's deep punishing bunkers!!...collin has birdied 5 of the 6 par 5s this week but oddly enough has missed the green in regulation on 6 of the 8 par 3s...driving the ball beautifully (6th in the field in accuracy off the tee) with irons lasered hole high like a boss man, just gotta make a couple more putts manana & we're gonna be off to the ******* races!!

michael kim (74, missed cut): no worries, on to the ugly azz pga national (the site of brandon hagy's 2nd place pga tnt finish with a final round birdie streak thru the bear trap with the monster lurking/screaming his azz off) with condos on both sides of the fairways in west palm beach next week with max (would not be surprised if the 2 buds don't go to chipotle for an upscale dining experience, them bears like to eat!!)

I salute those that were able to make putts out there today. These were some of the most difficult surfaces I’ve ever been on. The speed of the greens, the bumpiness, the slopes the pins were on. I was totally off with my putter and cost me a weekend 🥲

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) February 21, 2026

Cal coach Tosh Lupoi’s quest to keep JKS on his roster was a wild saga that involved him flying to Hawaii without luggage and ended with him sleeping on a bench at the beach in the suit he wore to the introductory news conference pic.twitter.com/9ec7VotkOr

— Ari Wasserman (@AriWasserman) February 19, 2026

^ underwear is for losers

https://instagr.am/p/CgNJnEuvtpf
^ napping (in a minimalistic restoration hardware furnished bedroom with no clutter) in the afternoon is for winners (but i-phones are for losers)



sleepyhead (good nite!!...do u snore like a rhinocernaas??)#

https://instagr.am/p/DM8xtzHMtLF

2027 high school recruiting update:

LSU QB commit Peyton Houston ➡️ 4-star WR Zion White

The alley-oop dunk celly is tough 🔥 @SCNext pic.twitter.com/5d5ienM0d2

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) January 3, 2026

coach hilliard (with an unreal NFL background) is prioritizing with the scarce premium wideout 2027 scholly(s) ELITE 6'4" 190 lbs (next level body with length) zion white from the academically/athletically solid img academy in bradenton florida but is originally from punahou high school in honolulu and will be tripping to berkeley june 4-7th

zion, do u wanna get developed AND earn a world class degree that will set u up for life, r u tired of the low key racism & bull**** unbearably hot summers in the south??

@ZionWhite_21 with the slam! 🏀🏈#happythanksgiving pic.twitter.com/BjPO51miGx

— Punahou Football (@PunahouFootball) November 28, 2024

brah, is it time to head back to the west coast & play in a poly friendly culture at cal poly-berkeley the 9th island??



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (for those that wanna live in cali & meet a cbyf1)

https://instagr.am/p/DU_9M49AbJS
real ******* talk: shocky 100% endorses coach lupoi's random azz class checks, if u don't wanna go to ******* classes in berkeley & expand ur horizons limitlessly just take ur broke azz home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



^ in life u gotta go thru something to get something (just another wise as **** monster fortune cookie insert!!)

Bay Area and cal legend is back at cal finishing his degree ! Giving a talk before the cal game ! pic.twitter.com/s5orypIbLq

— Twist (@TwistNH7) February 21, 2026

thx for posting econ, thrilled that young ivee aka ivan rabb is gonna finish the final 2 years of his berkeley degree!!...his moms tamara has always valued education even thru the tough times when they lived in the back room of one of her oakland restaurants back in the day with ivan's little bro tamarik who later transferred to cal from a junior college & graduated from the haas biz school



rabb wuz at times the #1 ranked player in his high school class & his teammate jaylen brown wuz ranked #3 in the nation...dreams (which included an academic component)/visions (which included a future then $22,000,000 basketball practice facility) got sold, deals got done & both matriculated in berkeley shocking the college basketball world as cal's monster class took center stage

They try this every game and it fails bc nobody’s here so it’s cool to see it work ! pic.twitter.com/cTdu636kMJ

— Twist (@TwistNH7) February 22, 2026

this is full circle **** & glad to hear that haas wuz packed this afternoon!!



parties at ritchie's getting risky and we made it thru the hurricane (shine bright shine light like diamonds in the sky!!)#

bluehen, 100% getting transcripts & **** while standing in long lines at sproul took hours outta our lives that we'll never evah ******* get back!!

https://instagr.am/p/DPCR8rTicvp
^ shocky is a little surprised that uc irvine aka pelican hills college wuz ranked #10 ahead of uc davis...do u got ur tix(s) for the uc championship game at memorial stadium on saturday september 5, 2026??

2026 la open at riviera: 3rd round update

https://instagr.am/p/C7uBpbISLyb
collin morikawa (70, tied for 15th): winners never quit and quitters never win (wowza, just another fortune cookie insert pearl of wisdom from the monster)

shocky wuz ******* done with wilcox during the 2024 la bowl at so fi stadium (with doms doing triggering dirty dancing with her girlfriends on the stadium's panoramic screens) when he played 2nd & 3rd stringers in the 1st quarter, the game wuz just a ******* holiday scrimmage in justin's mind (too bad nobody tole those of us that bleed blue & gold that wuz rooting for a winning record season in advance that the head coach didn't really give a **** about the bowl game's outcome)

so when the shockster wuz watching the listless, low energy/no excitement & zero yelling (eerily quiet) early warm ups at snapdragon last september he knew the bears wuz mirroring the intensity of their head coach...the ensuing 0-34 sdsu aztecs beatdown wuz disappointing but not surprising to me

so today after hitting the par 5 1st hole in 2 shots from the left rough morikawa 3 jacked some augusta national kinda wildly undulating putts from 50 feet & then made 4 bogeys to finish the 7th hole +4 for the day

did our haas biz ad grad throw a pity party, call it a day & mentally quit competing??

**** no my poly hopa/hopa brah dug down deep & finished the round with an ELECTRIC 40+ foot drained birdie putt from just short of the right front of the green on the amphitheater par 4 18th hole to finish the round 1 under par!!

max homa (73, tied for 27th): max wuz visibly agitated/hot under his dodger's t-shirt after burning the cup with well stroked putts on the 16th thru the 18th holes but he needs to keep his **** & mental composure together manana in his hometown

homa entered the tournament #104 in the fed ex standing, the top 100 players at season's end will retain their pga tour cards for 2027 & the top 50 will secure invitations to the 2027 signature events

max, a lotta young people look up to you these days, what kinda role model are you gonna be for them & your kids??

After a second-round 66 @TheGenesisInv to move into T12, @MaxHoma met the winners of this week's @SCPGAJrTour Max Homa Invitational ...

The prize includes, apparently, an Instagram follow 😂 pic.twitter.com/HDlHclhKKu

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) February 21, 2026

cal men's golf update:

https://instagr.am/p/DVACPDIj_IB
my brah sophmore ziqin zhou could be the next california golden bear to play on the pga tour, he's got the total tool kit package!!

Ziqin Zhou becomes the clubhouse leader 🏡🇨🇳 pic.twitter.com/Erduxc2h8b

— Asia-Pacific Amateur Championship (@AAC_Golf) October 6, 2024

^ zhou wuz a stroke or two away from winning the 2024 asia pacific amateur, the winner won an invitation to the 2025 masters as a contestant

the only thing holding the 6' 192 lbs cali golden bear back are chronic back problems, shocky has tole z in person that he gotta get a dedicated (2-3 times a week) yoga/meditation practice (just stretching is not gonna magically make his back issues go away)

https://instagr.am/p/DPRx8wejmEj
if z gets a yoga/meditation practice he's gonna be OFF TO THE RACES!!

2027 high school quarterback recruiting update:

2027 Cal QB targets Brody Rudnicki (Folsom) and Sione Kaho (Tacoma-Lincoln) having some fun after today’s Elite 11 LA Regional.

Both told @MattRMoreno that the Bears are among the schools recruiting them the hardest right now and praised Tosh Lupoi’s recruiting aggressiveness. pic.twitter.com/n24UvfDH3R

— Golden Bear Report (On3 | Rivals) (@CalBearsOn3) February 21, 2026

sione is the qb1 on the staff's big board, will be insightful to see which quarterbacks advance in head to head competition from the multiple regional elite 11s to the national elite 11

2027 QB Sione Kaho Tacoma (Wash.) Lincoln getting some work in at the Elite 11 LA Regional pic.twitter.com/jTXWXtlS8p

— Matt Moreno (@MattRMoreno) February 21, 2026

cal is a NFL starting qb development school#

2026 la open at riviera: 4th round update


^ fun fact: both collin & his close friend kk limbhaust are high gpa haas biz ad grads, junior charlie bundy is following in these footprints of also shocky & chancellor lyons (both vetted by b-school admissions director ruth "not always so" nice back in the day)

collin morikawa (65, tied for 7th): FANTASTIC 7 birdie finale in pacific palisades for our cali golden bear!!...along with leading the field in driving accuracy this week (#1 with 40 outta 56 fairways) just another absolutely filthy sand splash from the front bunker on the par 5 11th hole to a kick in range birdie, morikawa's unique patented technique of choking up to the shaft & swinging with SPEED is elevating his overall game to another level & will be invaluable at the 2026 us open at shinnecock hills with its dungeon sand traps

max homa (71, tied for 37th): the monster's take is that a little bit of wind went out from behind max's sails when he made only a par 5 from the middle of the fairway on the scoreable 1st hole at the riv but overall a good tournament as max moves up to #94 in the season long fed ex standings...homa (whose game is in a good place, just gotta tighten up the driver accuracy dispersion) will play next week with former bears teammate michael kim in west palm beach (update: michael has withdrawn from this tournament)

the pga tour's 2026 west coast swing is now over & summer is within view across the pacific ocean's azul crashing waves, yeah summer is not outta reach with the cali boyz of summer

shocky has played the riv a dozen plus times, the 1st time hosted by paul michael glasser of starsky & hutch tv show fame way the **** before erewhon & nobu malibu (basically the dark ages of west los angeles for foodies)

https://instagr.am/p/DVEsLAhEiId
miami hurricanes 69
california golden bears 60

today's loss in coral cables effectively ended any chance for the bears to earn a 2026 ncca tournament invitation, just another underperforming (except for last season's special ncca team) loss for a head coach with a career sub .300 conference record

chancellor lyons, the wbb program is not fulfilling its potential either on the floor or in building a fanbase...and the once formidable volleyball program wuz 9-21 last season & the ****show softball program is 5-10 this season after today's 19-5 beatdown by auburn at a neutral site

when are you gonna hold the worthless bureaucrat JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL accountable for her absolute dereliction of duties??

https://instagr.am/p/DUBMLJWk7SK

Between the backswing shouting controversy and now this from a family member, Mackenzie Hughes is having a rough month! #USAGOLD https://t.co/obDLhOMx47

— Club Pro Guy (@ClubProGuy) February 22, 2026

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people of canada)

Tacoma (Wash.) Lincoln QB Sione Kaho with a Cal phone case Sunday at the Elite 11 Los Angeles.

Cal, Washington, Oregon and others involved.https://t.co/dX7NGdKm9Z pic.twitter.com/vcqMyVLNCb

— Adam Gorney (@adamgorney) February 22, 2026

real talk: polys prefer sunshine in cali, they do NOT thrive in level 7 hypothermia cold azz SNOW!!

https://instagr.am/p/DU6uLScFFn9

I’ve had the pleasure of assisting @Mike_kim714 with his training for the last 18 months or so.

Mike has gotten much stronger and gained ~10lbs in this time frame.

We’ve had 3 main areas of focus:
1️⃣ Increase size and strength of the fast twitch muscle fibers with pretty… pic.twitter.com/PiaY3Ma7wG

— Fit For Golf - Mike Carroll (@Fit_For_Golf) February 18, 2026

real talk: the undersized cal men's golf team needs to get BIGGER/STRONGER/FASTER in order to compete for championships!!

nutrition via counting daily protein grams is a big part of the equation

https://instagr.am/p/CdZfqytj5Da
eat ****/feel like ****/play like ****#

Flippin’ Friday 🙂🙃 pic.twitter.com/pPPvSx0Yel

— UCLA Football (@UCLAFootball) February 7, 2026

based upon this conclusive empirical evidence of +1 modern yoga athleticism shockey's newly incorporated MONSTERLOSEURAZZ.COM got them ucla bruins as 24+ points FAVORITES in the uc championship game at memorial stadium on saturday september 5, 2026



8 clap (could lead to stds or something, do u got siblings??)#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

---

Shocky, how did you come up with 24+ points FAVORITES ?

^ it's elementary 51, leidy tole me that each of the 6 bruins +1 athletic backflips are each worth 4 points to the uc championship game spread and that my guy mateen bhaghani is worth 6 (two field goals) more points but that's gonna be cancelled out by the SOLD OUT insane energy home field advantage at memorial stadium, got it?

trust me, MONSTERLOSEURAZZ.COM is not in the biz of losing money or something!!

https://instagr.am/p/DDVjG7Cyyzf
sports book betting sites are for financial losers like the ugly dude in the last foto ($eriously)#

Per the Rabbit Hole, here are the players in the Genesis Invitational field who have gained the most ball speed so far in 2026 compared to last year...

J. Rose +3.1
S. Burns +3.0
J.T. Poston +2.7
J. Knapp +2.6
A. Scott +2.5
M. Greyserman +2.3
R. Hisatsune +2.0
C. Morikawa +1.9… pic.twitter.com/uAfTdPL6qk

— Ron Klos (@PGASplits101) February 18, 2026

^ fun fact: chico native/unlv grad kurt kitayama is collin's late nite gaming buddy & "loaned" the putter that morikawa rode to victory at pebble beach

collin morikawa gained 10 lbs (not all muscle) between october of 2025 & january of 2026

michael kim has added another 10+ lbs of muscle during the last 18 months

max homa looks like an olympic swimmer/volleyball player after INTENSE s&c workouts this winter in scottsdale

Players that have gained and lost the most ball speed so far this season, compared to the same time frame last season.

From Alex Huang Golf on IG.

Yes, it’s early days. pic.twitter.com/Sn29T8ahJJ

— Fit For Golf - Mike Carroll (@Fit_For_Golf) February 18, 2026

the cal men's golf team looked exactly the same to me at tuscon national last month than they did at la costa in may of 2025...yeah becky g is physically stronger (and smells better too!!) than 6 of the current 8 bears on the roster & 2 (not callixte alzas) of the 3 also undersized 2026 signed commits (both cali hs guys got no significant amateur golf usga achievements)

https://instagr.am/p/DP4SL4cibsJ

Some things can’t be erased by a scoreboard. I bleed this shit and it brings a tear to my eye that it’s something I can share with my daughter for life. Tonight was painful but only because i really do care. Roll on you magnificent Bears. Bay Area till they put me in the dirt. pic.twitter.com/yiOT3BS2Hc

— Girl Father (@TIMBO_SL1CE) October 6, 2024

good parenting#

This is the proper way to teach a toddler to count. pic.twitter.com/6MTh9abepz

— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) February 23, 2026

^ shocky knows some golfers that when recording their scores can also only count to four!!

2027 high school recruiting update:

Thanks for stopping by @KbTheStable #gobears pic.twitter.com/vqvWQgpv0z

— Malachi McFarland (@_Malachi14) January 28, 2026

coach bhonapaha is prioritizing 4.4 laser SPEED (10.6 100 meters) gamebreaking running back 5'10" 175 lbs malachi mcfarland from damien high school in la verne...mcfarland is officially tripping to berkeley on june 11-14th

the real question is does the sub 3.0 gpa (just like marshawn lynch back in the day) malachi wanna do the academic work (just like beastmode) at the #1 public university in the world that got tutors to assist those that are motivated to become mentally limitless??

22 yard Touchdown run by @_Malachi14
Damien 21 Etiwanda 17 pic.twitter.com/1AbcqKsBeW

— Dr Luis Arriaza (@dr_arriaza) October 11, 2025

yeah give malachi the ******* ball & he's not gunna stop until he's dancing in the endzone (preferably with a cbyf1)!!



SPEED KILLS!!#

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DU_9M49AbJS
real ******* talk: shocky 100% endorses coach lupoi's random azz class checks, if u don't wanna go to ******* classes in berkeley & expand ur horizons limitlessly just take ur broke azz home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

In the next segment, Coach Lup goes to La Burrita and flashes his Cal student ID for a student discount, then goes to Raleigh's where he gets carded.

88, ur probably right about coach lup but it's also possible that since he only needs 4 hours of sleep each nite that our head coach is gonna try to fix the electrical wiring at memorial stadium or something to get it ready for the uc championship game on saturday september 5, 2026

https://instagr.am/p/DTGOtayj9le

A couple of apocalyptic tee shots pic.twitter.com/VGfpO6sKy1

— TGL (@TGL) February 24, 2026

real talk: collin morikawa would NOT be shocky's 1st choice of a person to do the hang with in a post apocalyptic zombie land gotham city

come on pretty baby, let's try to find the best ham & pineapple pizza slice in NYC!!

https://instagr.am/p/CxQ6jSqvbDA
^ my daughter taylor is often mistaken for madison beer when walking in soho

https://instagr.am/p/Ci7_-Q9pr3G
https://instagr.am/p/DHtrgx4IXCi

https://instagr.am/p/DRqosr8lNBe
yeah quaron adams is shocky's favorite football player on planet earth, release the cash & we'll confiscate the money, haters (not jks) mad for whatever reasons

the **** if it's our fault that we both got ******* t-rex arms which has contributed to the monster's unfair designation as a syt17 (substitute yoga teacher17) by the clueless as **** modern yoga management and quaron's dumb azz designation as a sr2 (slot receiver2) by the prior staff

https://instagr.am/p/DVCVhXGkqOY
the time is NOW brah (except for the part about binge drinking)!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including maricopa ******* county)

2027 high school recruiting update:

Thank you @AnaeCoach for coming over to meet the fam we appreciate your time and the knowledge you passed on to us!! Safe travels#GoBears pic.twitter.com/xjXhYSMfmm

— Isaiah (@Isaiah_Bertola) January 28, 2026

coach anae is prioritizing ELITE high motor/quick twitch interior offensive lineman 6'5" 305 lbs isaiah bertola from cal pipeline school campbell high school in beautiful ewa beach hawaii

Getting that work in!!@CoachChinander @shadrich80 @AaronAmaama @CoachLynch @CoachRod77 @_DJDaniels @Coach_Seumalo pic.twitter.com/uIzmXRl5ld

— Isaiah (@Isaiah_Bertola) February 20, 2026

isaiah is tripping to berkeley on an official visit june 4-7th

Proud to carry his name _\,,/ pic.twitter.com/DrCN04P0ns

— Famika Anae (@AnaeCoach) February 21, 2026

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CcGZW-0pwes
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

As a former ELITE worldwide fashion model with multiple online degrees, I am very proud to let you know that I'm the new Chancellor at SMU!!!!!! It's true, I interview really well!!

I really think your writing is very witty ("don't be a dumb azz, it's better to palm a tight azz") plus we both love doggy dogs, would you be willing to accept an Adjunk Professorship of Literature in addition to starting up our new Yoga/Meditation Master's Program? Realize that you're not credentialed yet as a substitute yoga teacher at Modern Yoga but we can do a workaround on that minor issue.

Look, I realize you can play literally any golf course on Planet Earth with one phone call/email but would it help your decision making if I can arrange a FREE membership at Brook Hollow which has been faithfully restored by your favorite architects Coore & Crenshaw?

Shocky, working together we can make SMU GREAT AGAIN and in any case I'm looking forward to meeting you at your pregame FREE buffet at Buc-ee's on November 29th, is this a clothing optional event or not??

I will even confidentially whisper in your ear my GPA!!

Respectfully yours,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

P.S. > Agreed that clothes r for losers!!!

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine!!

Getting my nails done this morning at the Reverse Cowgirl Nail Saloon in Highland Park & thought you might be interested in my list of the TOP 3 people on planet earth that I would like to take a naked azz shower with in the very near future!!

1) Shocky, no big surprise there!!


^ editor's note: shocky goes to the lunch box every month for grooming, he never in real life got nasty azz hair on his belly or really anywhere like he does in this foto

2) Rickie Fowler, he don't gotta lotta STDs like DeChambo!!

3) George Bush, we need funding for a new Poli Sci building on campus.

See you Saturday morning at Buc-ee's, should I wear any underwear or NOT??

Hugs & kisses,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

---

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am mad at you!!

Wut the **** is Becky G doing at Buc-ee's??

DALLAS! y’all showed us so much loveee 💖 Gracias Ivan Cornejo for having me, let’s do it again sometime ☺️✨ pic.twitter.com/vdN7U59FwX

— Becky G (@iambeckyg) May 20, 2025

I may NOT be flying out after all for the Ponys game in Berkeley on November 29th (and if I do I'm probably going to hook up with your favorite football player Quaron Adams after the game, got it??)

Don't even bother to ever call me again unless ur DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cordially,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

---

Looking forward to welcoming Cal fans to Texas! Remember, please keep protesting to a minimum, our oil keeps the country going! pic.twitter.com/Lgo2muJp4f

— The Deep Ellum🐎 (@3rdDownDracula) November 27, 2024

Dear Shocky,

How are you??

I'm tired of your prevalent discriminatory attitudes against Blondes, are you really too ******* stupid to understand that I'm only 2 appointments away at Zolton's from becoming a curvy brunette yoga female??

You wish you had played your cards right with me and taken my offer of an Adjunk Professorship!!

You ****ing smelly Berkeley Hippie!!

****ing AZZhole!!

Not your friend,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

The way SMU fans talk about Sonny Dykespic.twitter.com/8QxnzlXzID https://t.co/qsPthfMqNG

— SuperFrog’s Burner (@SuperFrogBurner) September 15, 2025

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you??

I would like to apologize for that last emotional outburst, when I mix my anxiety/depression meds with alcohol sometimes I say some really dumb **** that I don't really mean!!

So let's try this again, you know that Wilson and Ireland aren't really listening to any of your recommendations, would you like to become the next SMU Head Golf Coach??

Sleep on it yoga boy, ok??

XXXOOO

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

P.S. I'm allergic to dogs, is that going to be a problem in our relationship??

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you??

I am fine now that I'm back on my meds!!

Look, there seems to be a misunderstanding between us, I'm not as jealous and controlling as you think I am. My last boyfriend (a former relief pitcher with the Texas Rangers who is now on the MLB severely injured reserve list) who wuz eye ******* a CBYF1 at Restoration Hardware is walking again with a barely noticeable limp and his facial contusions are mostly healed. The Judge is even gonna consider lifting the restraining order against me!!

Don't worry, I pinky swear promise NOT to hurt Benji & Beauty if you make me MAD, got it??

Hugs and Kisses!!

Tiffany von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

Shocky1 said:

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wut up swan??



when madsen wuz hired hoop dreams & me chatted with him in the north end zone tunnel on a september fall cal football gameday (the above foto wuz taken then) right before the bears ran onto the field...mark wuz very gracious & the monster made the following 5 recommendations:

1) demand that cal marketing administration (keep in mind at that point shocky wuz the only person on planet earth who wuz lobbying for markeisha everrett & general knowlton to be fired) offer FREE tixs to all students on cal men's basketball gamedays as a critically needed pipeline for future season tix buyers/donors (emphasized that the current mbb excellence in basketball donors are rapidly aging out)

2) bring in a poly basketball player as an identifiable fan favorite to facilitate student interest in men's basketball at a university with demographics of a student base that is just south of 50% asian...explained how shocky researched nor cal asian basketball prospects with the assistance of multiple sources including lou richie & justin labagh and gave this recruiting information to cuonzo martin & tracy webster which ultimately resulted in the signing of me & my daughter's lifelong brah half japanese/half black brenden glapion as a walk on whose entry into games wuz met with spirited bedlam by the students & his teammates...yeah brenden graduated from berkeley, then the boalt law school & is today getting minted as a imminent domain attorney in san francisco



3) prioritize fundraising for a dedicated basketball practice facility & demand a detailed update from general knowlton who wuz flat out lying to madsen & alums about the progress (or lack thereof) of fundraising according to my multiple sources within the athletic department who hated the former athletic director

4) build a coaching staff with younger (mark fox had the oldest assistant coaching staff in d1 basketball in the nation, a fact that wuz never reported upon in cal men's basketball coverage) berkeley grads...tole mark that joe pasternack had called me asking for my support (got my phone number from his brother in law roxy bernstein) & in response to my questions re: building a staff would've hired berkeley grads theo robertson & richard midgley as assistant coaches & lou richie as an academic mentor (all 3 of these guys are close friends with dennis gates who would've become a behind the scenes advocate for mbb)

5) transparently build fan & recruits interest in the program by publicly sharing recruiting information via FREE social media & message board outlets ala cal's monster class...tole him that i had written "welcome to berkeley" emails to his newly hired assistant coaches & didn't get a response from any of them other than matt scherbenske

in retrospect NONE of these 5 points got followed up on and/or completed: cal is currently 17th outta 18 teams in acc attendance, there are no plans for shovels in the ground with the failed leadership of jay & jenny and maddog don't got the nil dollars to recruit mcdonalds all americans...honestly got no interest these days in a program that turns over the roster every season with guys that are not earning berkeley degrees...jaylon tyson (just like his bro wr jordyn at asu who will be drafted in the upcoming nfl draft) had zero academic ambition, he didn't declare for the nba draft as much as tyson wuz basically flunking out in berkeley

my guess is that shocky will meet/our paths will cross with tosh in person at some point this fall when he attends every fb game on the 2026 schedule, lupoi clearly understands the importance of recruiting with young hungry assistant coaches that wanna sell berkeley's degree opportunities in conjunction with the recruiting leadership of marshall cherrington & benji palu as we target high gpa prospects with academic ambition

when shocky & cal's monster class wuz tole to **** off back in the day, cal athletics not only lost the dumb azz but also his yoga buddy jaylen brown (current nba supermax contract with the boston celtics is a 5 year $305,000,000 deal) & quite a few other former bears hoopers who could've helped the mbb program in moving forwards on an upwards trajectory in terms of recruiting, gameday attendance metrics, mcdonalds all american prospects nil fundraising & the critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility fundraising

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https://instagr.am/p/DVNVvoLFMzl
^ shocky luvs the foto of his high gpa poly brah jaron sitting in the student section with his berkeley classmates (look at their smiling faces, this is how u build a forever fanbase)!!

california golden bears 73
smu mustangs 69

ATTENDANCE: 4411
just another jay & jenny **** up



FAFO#

2026 ugly azz condo classic in west palm beach: 1st round update

https://instagr.am/p/C8mUUNwg8-S
max homa (73, tied for 88th): playing in the much tougher afternoon playing conditions with swirling coastal winds & talking to himself like the crazy azz guy hanging out at the quik trip at 74th street & thomas, max is driving the ball beautifully but made 3 tactical mistakes: not playing enough left to right wind with a gap wedge from the fairway on the short par 4 1st hole which left him short sided, not taking a left enough start line on the par 4 12th hole and then compounding problems by not playing his recovery shot left enough again to avoid overhanging tree limbs & consistently missing putts on the low side of the hole

the good news (along with making birdie 4s on all 3 of the par 5s including a clutch 4 on his finishing hole) is that max is now dressed better than anybody on the pga tour as a lulu ambassador with the white pants & fitted dodgers colored shirt (gone is the ugly as **** mastercard logo on the shirt collar which always looked like he ******* spilled mustard & ketchup on himself at top dog)

homa needs a good nite sleep after calling the fam & then starting tomorrow morning at the scoreable par 5 10th hole at the crack of dawn with minimal wind making a move with a POSITIVE outlook on life, himself & **** in general!!

max, just remember that no matter what u don't got man boobs like ur bro joel dahmen (who shot a 68 despite his swing path impediments)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DVNX--JDDrp
^ while the shockster is overall a huge fan of the gil hanse restoration of lake merced (luv the wonderful collection of diverse par 3s) which included much needed tree removal, the perimeter trees should have been left alone to block out the unsightly urban blight such as power lines as evidenced in the video above showing the fantastic tricky uphill short par 3 3rd hole (michael weaver made a hole in one on it during us open final qualifying)

Tinkle out at Ore St. at end of season.

bluehen, gonna miss wayne's always missbehaving FUN theatricals tryna work the refs on gamedays but the reality of the matter is that tinkle's star wuz destined to burn out when his all american son tres ran outta eligibility in corvallis & the pac 12 blew up leaving oregon state to play in the mountain coast voodoo donuts conference or something

Shocky1 said:

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2026 ugly azz condo classic in west palm beach: 1st round update

https://instagr.am/p/C8mUUNwg8-S
max homa (73, tied for 88th): playing in the much tougher afternoon playing conditions with swirling coastal winds & talking to himself like the crazy azz guy hanging out at the quik trip at 74th street & thomas, max is driving the ball beautifully but made 3 tactical mistakes: not playing enough left to right wind with a gap wedge from the fairway on the short par 4 1st hole which left him short sided, not taking a left enough start line on the par 4 12th hole and then compounding problems by not playing his recovery shot left enough again to avoid overhanging tree limbs & consistently missing putts on the low side of the hole

the good news (along with making birdie 4s on all 3 of the par 5s including a clutch 4 on his finishing hole) is that max is now dressed better than anybody on the pga tour as a lulu ambassador with the white pants & fitted dodgers colored shirt (gone is the ugly as **** mastercard logo on the shirt collar which always looked like he ******* spilled mustard & ketchup on himself at top dog)

homa needs a good nite sleep after calling the fam & then starting tomorrow morning at the scoreable par 5 10th hole at the crack of dawn with minimal wind making a move with a POSITIVE outlook on life, himself & **** in general!!

max, just remember that no matter what u don't got man boobs like ur bro joel dahmen (who shot a 68 despite his swing path impediments)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DVNX--JDDrp
^ while the shockster is overall a huge fan of the gil hanse restoration of lake merced (luv the wonderful collection of diverse par 3s) which included much needed tree removal, the perimeter trees should have been left alone to block out the unsightly urban blight such as power lines as evidenced in the video above showing the fantastic tricky uphill short par 3 3rd hole (michael weaver made a hole in one on it during us open final qualifying)

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Good call on leaving the perimeter trees. Should have consulted you.

clemson tigers 70
california golden bears 63

the innovative clemson head coach found ways to play his 2 big body positionless basketball players at multiple positions including the 3 to create offensive mismatches which the tigers ruthlessly exploited for point blank baskets against weaker defenders...that's just good coaching

Raven is TOUGH!!! 😤

📺 ACCNX pic.twitter.com/5Gz8wslV1O

— Clemson Women's Basketball (@ClemsonWBB) February 27, 2026

in the final minute of the 1st half a bear throws the ball outta bounds over 4 tigers that had a less than 1% chance of being caught by anyone under 8 feet tall, the camera pans to the cal bench and the head coach along with the 5 assistant coaches are expressionless/motionless

in the first sequence of the 2nd half a tiger throws the ball cross court outta bounds, the tigers fiery coach points to a bench player who immediately runs to the scorer's table and subs into the game for the errant passer...the tigers coach turns his back on the player as she runs off the court (message delivered) but then a tiger assistant coach sits next to the player & starts a conversation with hand movements (that's called player development)

as usual the better coached team won the game (they didn't make excuses for traveling 2600 miles, the soggy pancakes at breakfast, etc.)

2026 ugly azz condo classic in west palm beach: 2nd round update

https://instagr.am/p/DTMBbi7Dhf_
max homa (66, tied for 18th): CONGRATS to max for following the shockster's gameplan for today: getting a good nite's sleep & gaining early morning momentum with an opening birdie 4 on the par 5 10th hole & then taking a better start line further left on the par 4 12th hole which resulted in another birdie & closing out the front nine on the watery par 5 18th hole with a 3 wood to 7 feet which maxazillion then smoothly rolled in center cut for an eagle 3!!

homa is in total control of his golf ball with a beautifully synced up swing which resulted in 14 outta 18 greens in regulation on an architecturally irrelevant but very penal nicklaus design with typically breezy afternoon coastal winds

the key to the mentally focused bogey free round (other than shocky's spot on advice) wuz his 4 for 4 scrambling including an absolutely filthy flop save from deep rough behind the elevated 13th green, wowza!!

if max can SMILE & remember that golf is FUN this weekend, anything is ******* possible (except for his buddy joel dahmen getting fitted at victoria secret for a c cup)!!


^ important note: this beary white song is cal's monster class OFFICIAL theme song for outstanding cal golf!!...sure morikawa won $3,600,000 for his pebble beach victory last week but more importantly collin tole everyone that getting this song posted here wuz the real grand prize...yeah getting green jackets & **** is nice but getting this song played in ur honor is ******* priceless