2026 ladue galleria cheesecake factory tournament: 2nd round update

collin morikawa (65, tied for 8th): collin continues to confidently roll the rock with holing SPEED en route to draining a fantastic 99 feet in putts (only miscue wuz a missed 4 foot uphill birdie putt on the par 4 12th hole *see below video of the approach, but that's just part of the game)!!

OH!

Collin Morikawa almost drops this approach in 🤯 pic.twitter.com/KkznFyQswV

— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) August 21, 2026

but the key to the round wuz 2 UNREAL sand saves from 90 feet on the par 4 9th hole for a par & 100 feet on the par 5 17th hole for a bird!!

back in the day morikawa wuz pretty mid with his sandplay while a student in the haas biz school partially because he seldom missed greens in regulation...these days collins employs a unique technique of choking up to the steel & then swinging with speed thru the ball, he's a perfect 4 for 4 from the sand this week...fun fact: the shockster has been employing this bunker play technique this summer with favorable results

good news is that collin will be paired with his close friend victor hovland tomorrow in twosomes in the 3rd round, a st louis trophy is still in the cards, let's ******* go brah!!


^ facts: metropolitan has never been mistaken for cypress point (but it has been the site for the development of multiple PGA TOUR winners!!

liv exhibition league: update

some seriously delusional ****** up crushers bull**** from deshambles (his lack of self awareness is remarkable, his primary you tube market demographics are 12 year old boys that don't got a driver's license yet), if u think shocky needs therapy listen to bryson for 90 seconds!!

"If players X, Y, and Z don't stay, LIV won't get the investment" seems to not be the truth. Bryson says there are plans in place depending on which players stay. pic.twitter.com/JJQWLHTFPH

— LIV'r & Onions! (@LIVRandONIONS) August 21, 2026

https://finance.yahoo.com/small-business/articles/buc-ees-ceo-eyes-conservative-191434303.html

"Buc-ee's opened its first locations in Ohio and Arizona this year. In 2025, it opened its first location in Virginia, and a year earlier, it debuted in Colorado. The company anticipates adding inaugural locations in Louisiana, Kansas and Wisconsin by the end of 2027. The travel center, founded in 1982, has become one of the Lone Star State's most recognized exports."
Hmmn doesn't look like they'll be on the West Coast anytime soon...

https://instagr.am/p/DbKjvZ-NiGr
glenn, honestly the recent opening of the buc-ee's in goodyear is arguably the greatest thing that's evah happened in the state of arizona!!

u just gotta bring extra toothpicks for when the tasty bbq brisket sandwich gets stuck between ur teeth or something...only downside is that buc-ee's don't got yoga mats, berkeley bears t-shirts or 32 oz green juices

https://instagr.am/p/DWcnW95DONq

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats)

jeff, the shockster has always held massive RESPECT for the spieker family's wildly generous donations to the university of california's flagship campus!!

back in the day ned wuz always annoyed with the monster blocking his sideline view by standing/screaming throughout the men's hoops games...therefore when approached by a sr cal athletic dept official re: the spiekers concerns, shocky quickly agreed to flip flop seats with carol (who is very talkative & FUN with a strong fashionista shoe game) & ned, problem solved

i've never stated any of men's or women's aquatics (swimming & water polo) should be cut, they win CHAMPIONSHIPS while graduating their student athletes & are supported by multiple builders of berkeley including the spiekers

the sports that need to be cut/relegated to club status do NOT have builder's of berkeley support:

men's sports:
baseball (evans diamond repurposed)
gymnastics (5-13 in 2026 season)
soccer (tied portland 0-0 in the season opener)
cross county (edwards field repurposed)
track & field (edwards field repurposed)
the roster sizes (counters) of the rugby & rowing program significantly reduced

women's sports:
lacrosse (converted to a club sport financed by high end socioeconomic parents)
field hockey (converted to a club sport financed by high end socioeconomic parents)
cross country (edwards field repurposed)
track & field (edwards field repurposed)

under this streamlining/rightsizing the athletic department scenario, would berkeley be in compliance with title ix prong requirements??

my criticism of FAILING women's sports programs that are uncompetitive is directed at JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL who is not only intensely disliked by donors but also by her own employees & the revenue sports programs

and yeah shocky gotta real problem with cal athletics providing preferential admission to the children of the super rich (with varsity blues vibes) when a 4.25 gpa young lady/valedictorian at inglewood high school who is also taking care of her sick grandmother gets the heartbreaking letter that she's gonna be denied admission to her "dream school" of berkeley because some white girl from a swiss prep school (100,000+ euro annual tuition/boarding which includes armed security bodyguards) that plays a country club sport took her slot

but reasonable people can disagree and that's fine, maybe cal should start a women's YACHTING program (like stanford) for kids from uber affluent families with home matches at the tiburon yacht club that travels on non commercial flights to matches in the hamptons & newport, rhode island along with international travel to ibiza & st tropez

Cal ILB Coach Bob Gregory on the growth of freshman JD McKinley, who has been a standout in camp

“I don’t think any of our guys play with any fear. What’s remarkable about JD is that he’s really smart. 7 months ago this kid was in high school. What he’s doing has been really… pic.twitter.com/QBjnkbeJO2

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 21, 2026

shocky wuz briskly moving thru the oakland airport car rental center on a bears fall gameday during jd's senior year of high school when he spotted/recognized mckinley from powerhouse centennial high school (a bears football program pipeline hs) in corona

the monster fist bumped jd & tole him "ima wildly impressed by ur 4.83 gpa" & then looking at his dad saying "and that's just great parenting, congrats dad!!"

jd (now a trending ilb2) wuz looking at me with an amused grin kinda like how the **** does this guy know my gpa??

https://instagr.am/p/DR01iC6ESW5

2026 transfer portal update:

NEW: James Madison LB Trent Hendrick plans to enter the NCAA transfer portal, @PeteNakos reports.

Hendrick was named the Sun Belt Defensive Player of the Year this past season.https://t.co/DlSr2k448u https://t.co/t9QeBEOXKe pic.twitter.com/0EwlDB9bv1

— Transfer Portal (@TransferPortal) August 20, 2026

cal has entered the national sweepstakes recruitment for immediate eligibility ELITE linebacker 6' 231 lbs trent hendricks (106 tackles last season playing for chesney at james madison)

https://instagr.am/p/Ctj7qhbOSnj

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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2026 cali bears football biggest CONCERNS heading into fall ball on august 5th:

4) kicking game: punter angus davies is gonna be the solution to solving the erratic/inconsistent play at this position but it remains to be seen if kickers chase meyer or towns mcgough are gonna be ready to star on broadway in a potentially EPIC season in berkeley

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Could y’all field a punt with a glare in your eyes? Sheesh. pic.twitter.com/mq9ZAQLOtk

— Joaquin Ruiz (@WalkingRuiz) August 6, 2026

A group with a ton of eyes on it, a look into the Cal Football kicking game with Chase Meyer, Towns McGough and Erik Peters pic.twitter.com/5mDdEwGSaS

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 6, 2026

---

The field goal operation continues to take shape for the Bears

Chase Meyer takes center stage on this rep pic.twitter.com/OqDsV9UxLf

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 11, 2026

---

kicker1 update:

in arguably the most competitive battle for a starting job auburn transfer 4.0 gpa towns mcgough is making a move with exceptional field goal practice sessions in the battle with incumbent 4.3 gpa chase meyer (10 for 13 on field goals last season, 3-6 in the critical 40-49 yard range & a perfect 39 of 39 on extra points)

https://instagr.am/p/DCpNqRupPsl
^ future ceo of waffle house inc or the governor of alabama

coach zach "attack" tinker gotta tough decision to make, just glad longwell isn't part of the evaluation process when all american mateen bhaghani comes to town for the uc championship game on saturday september 5th at memorial stadium under the lights at 7:30 pm

towns got more upside (leg strength) than chase, if he does win the bears kicker1 job & goes on to get paid in the NFL he's already tole his new left coast teammates that he's gonna buy a house in malibu (and get a membership at shoal creek for when he visits the fam) with a cbyf1

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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cal's monster class mailbag: **** me

Dear Shockey,

How are you?

I am fine.

Would you do me a solid as the only legit and/or FUN source of information for potential NEW fans particularly high school prospect recruits and Berkeley students (or anybody whose emotional development has not surpassed puberty) of the Cal football program, please let everyone on Planet Earth know that the 2027 Spring Game for the #1 ranked public university in the Country (POW!!, hahahahahahaha) is gonna be played in Ibiza on April 31, 2027 with maybe a stop in Dubai along the way (realize this may not make travel logistical sense for McGraw but as you have relentlessly pointed out I don't know **** about maps).

And when the **** are you gonna get over your hurt butt feelings because you never got to hang a NCCA National Championship banner for men's basketball at Haas?? After almost a decade haven't the statue of limitations for feeling sorry for urself run out (clearly ur mental health no es bueno, you probably need therapy or something)??

Go Bears!!

-Coach Lup

P.S. Go ahead and continue to make fun of my "3 Stooges" trim but the reality of the situation is that Modern Yoga has correctly evaluated you as a Substitute Yoga Teacher17 (SYT17) because you don't got any visible tattoos and/or a smokeshow PONYTAIL, good luck evah teaching a class with them Curvy Brunette Yoga Females1 (CBYF1s)!!

---

Dear Shockey,

How are you?

I am fine.

I would like to directly respond to your MONSTER 7 points of focus for the upcoming 2026 fall season, ok?

1) JKS telegraphing audibles: We're very aware that you multiple times while on the field for last season's North Carolina game were able to pre snap call out Jaron's audibles, trust me Rolo and Jordan are working with our humble FAITH based QB1 to get this corrected.

2) The kicking game: Yeah the Wilcox staff ****** up when they didn't work with you on his parent's behalf to find a scholly for UCLA All American Mateen Bhaghani, let's just hope the UC Championship Game on Saturday September 5th at Memorial Stadium doesn't come down to a last minute field goal!!

3) Defensive backs NOT physical in tackling: Look Coach King Von Brown is your biggest fan and he's made it very clear to the defensive backs room that if you, Connor or him don't think guys are tryna knock the **** outta opposing ball handlers on gamedays that their "broken down sorry azzs" are NEVER gonna see the field.

4) Wide receivers that don't BLOCK (or get drafted by the NFL): Yeah I know who the **** is Nyan Boateng brah, that's the new STANDARD in the wideout rooms for Ike and Geoff.

5) SPY on opposing QB1s that can make plays with their legs: Don't worry, the Blacksburg ****show against Hokies QB1 Drones will never happen again under my watch in conjunction with Coach Hastings, we're already schematically planning for SPY responsibilities against the Bruins QB1 Nico who is kinda like a young Kapernick.

6) UCLA offensive game prep: Your gameplan is also already being implemented: heavy 12 sometimes 13 tight end formation run packages against the Bruins 3 starting corner/nickels that are all around 5'10" 175 lbs, can they stop our Bears NFL schemed power game with JKS taking snaps directly under center and running your favorite (and JT's too!!) play call the PITCHOUT in wide open space on the edges to Adam and Carter?

7) FREE tickets for ALL Berkeley students: I'm 100% in agreement with you re: the investment cost to ensure a future pipeline of season tix fans/mega donors, yeah the 35,000-40,000 EMPTY seats for the Wagner game is gonna be a real embarazzment. Also in concurrence that the current student pass discriminates against students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds like your tiny Tiger Moms/Berkeley grad who grew up in a small space on the 2nd floor above a laundry in San Francisco and never went to a football game during her days as a Berkeley student because she wuz poor as ****.

And lastly on a personal note quit making FUN of my Three Stooges trim, I'm watching Doms hair tutorial and tryna elevate my game brah!!

https://instagr.am/p/Db4sgj7ueKO
Go Bears!

-Coach Lup

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https://instagr.am/p/CPoTOuxBSFl
Hola Señor Shocky!!

Como estas??

Yo soy bueno.

Don't know how to say this a nice way so I'll just say it, Coach Lup's pelo es 100% kinda like the Three Stooges!!

https://instagr.am/p/DcT0IwHlalB
No es bueno, comprende??

Go Bares (clothes r for losers)!!

XXXOOO

Senorita Doms

TOUCHDOWN: Ford Green finds his 6-foot-5 target Charles Davis over the middle for a 39-yard TD pass, XP no good

Davis shows off the contact balance on his TD run

Westlake 20, Newbury Park 14 | Q4: 1:27 pic.twitter.com/JTAR4ldfJj

— Daniel Rios (@dansfilmroomm) August 22, 2026

^ can't be spiking the ball brah

https://instagr.am/p/DYpt5V-vqSJ
spida man doing spida man **** (a brand NEW day for cal football)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DcSHazGmlR2
the season of the Z (got the skillz/work ethic/supportive moms to be the #1 ranked collegiate golfer)!!#

@arlowhite will you be announcing the ring ceremony? “Congratulations on an excellent season…please only take one….” pic.twitter.com/Lqik7XOcNb

— Punch The Monkey (@pittiecoco) August 22, 2026

A huge play by Cal CB commit Kamil Loud for Bishop Gorman, ending a St John Bosco drive right then and there with an awesome read 😮‍💨 pic.twitter.com/E4uIYgI1zE

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 22, 2026

Cal commit Kamil Loud ends it for Bishop Gorman with a pick to beat St. John Bosco 😮‍💨 pic.twitter.com/ZoafY6VwAh

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 22, 2026

the TAKERS (u ready, r u ready to marry the game??)#



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com

T minus 2 weeks until the ucla opener!

forcey, facts, good news is that explosive rb2 carter vargas is gonna be ready to roll against the so cal forces of evil (not talking about ur ventura county roots brah, wipe out!!) in the uc championship game on saturday september 5th with a 7:30 pm kick off at memorial stadium!!

https://instagr.am/p/DcT0_M-oAAx
^ more outstanding FUN content from vals (who graduated from berkeley in 3 years)...rich, honestly ms grimaldo should be in charge of running the university's social media feeds, ur current thinking that non berkeley grads can tell compelling authentic stories is not supported by the mid easily dismissed/forgotten spam being produced right now by strawberry creek studios & the university as a whole...have u noticed that every new bureaucrat hired by non berkeley grads jay & jenny is also not a berkeley grad??

https://instagr.am/p/DbmP1hasHWk
rich, do u really think there's anybody on planet earth who after viewing the above message is gonna be excited about cal hoops & then buy season tixs??...ur july 1st bizarro decision to renew the $500,000 contracts each for the incompetent anti revenue sports co athletic ****tards jay & jenny is literally decimating the already abysmal attendance metrics at haas pavilion on gamedays, is that acceptable to u??...even hypothetically surrounding j kidd with non berkeley grads is NOT gonna result in almost 11,000 screaming rabid hoops fans on gamedays...poor planning/organizational team building will not result in cal hoops lounging in the shade of an endless summer of championship basketball, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DcPaZmRid2A
chancellor lyons, let the shockster break it down for u in case u haven't figured it out yet, it's gonna take berkeley grads (or unique special individuals like marshall cherrington who get it) to save berkeley & move it forward to the next levels of excellence!!

It will be interesting to see how our new RBs perform in comparison to the Jet and company.

Shocky1 said:

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JET STREAM 💨@JaivianThomas goes untouched for the 75-yard score!

📺 @TheCW #GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/zRznd1qG7c

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) November 16, 2024

the following is a loose transcript of a conversation before the syracuse opening kick off in the north end zone grandstands:

shocky (fist bumping everyone in the fam): where did you grow up?

javona thomas (javian's moms): grew up in oakland just like my son

shocky: how's javian doing in the classroom and wut's his major?

javona: he loves berkeley and he's majoring in kinesiology and wants to become a physical therapist, he wants to give back to his community!!

shocky: that's awesome!!...are you a fan of all the interior run calls, would you like to see more PITCHOUTS?

javona: would definitely like to see some PITCHOUTS

shocky: ima gonna quote you on that, ok?

javona: you do that!!

shocky (saying goodbye to the fam with them all smiling/laughing): THE JETT!!!! is a star star star star star star

---

forcey, yeah me & javona are kinda curious too, the prior staff's dumb azz linear (and physically dangerous) play calling without PITCHOUTS ****** up the careers of both the jet & jayden ott

2026 bmw overpriced sports car repairs tournament: 3rd round update

collin morikawa (67, 6th place): morikawa is playing with quiet & refreshed confidence after taking a couple of weeks off after the british open, he's moving like a young collegiate golfer thru the ball with freedom & his speed on long putts is as good as it gets (which is a great way to lower stress levels when lag putting to inches)


^ at the 1 minute 55 second mark collin admits that last week he "couldn't read a putt to save his life" which has been hammered home by the shockster, the SOLUTION is bringing in caddie mark urbanek for greens reading consultations

the BOLD shot of the day: unlike most of the field which played it safe with irons off the tee, collin aggressively pounded a driver on the 304 yard par 11th hole which ended up almost on the green & then got up & down with a tap in birdie 3, shades of harding park baby!!

the good luck shot of the day: on the par 5 17th hole when his kinda tugged tee ball towards the phalanx of bunkers jealously guarding the left side of the fairway took a fortuitous bounce right down the speed slot 340 yards which allowed collin to hit his 2nd shot onto the green on the 622 yard MONSTER for a tap in birdie!!

key hole in tomorrow's final round: shocky's favorite hole at bellerive is the 440 yard par 4 9th hole which doglegs left up towards the green site near the clubhouse...morikawa has missed the fairway in all 3 rounds (including today's tee ball into one of the left fairway bunkers) which has resulted in 2 bogeys & a miracle par (getting up & down from 80 feet from a sand trap over the green)...like the 9th hole at oakmont collin needs to commit to a start line down the left side with confidence that his patented fade will find the fairway

our golden bear hit a laser like 15 of 18 greens in regulation & continues to confidently release the putter en route to 73 feet in drained putts, let's go mañana brah!!

Say what you will about the experiment that was LIV Golf, but at least most of the guys involved were really unlikable.

— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) August 20, 2026

https://instagr.am/p/DcXcEKKlCnE
cal's monster class OFFICIAL scrimmage update:



the bears staff will be watching film & making player evaluations well into the nite fueled by top dog chicken brats & zero gatorade (sugar is NOT ur friend) cut with water (nobody is getting drunk tonite) while texting the monster for his feedback & there is one MAJOR recurring question that keeps getting repeatedly asked other than how to offensively scheme our lefty qb1's HEALTH for the entirety of the upcoming EPIC 2026 fall football season which commences on saturday september 5th at 7:30 pm at memorial stadium, that critical question is as follows:

who would win a one on one hoops game to 21 buckets: rb2 carter vargas or wr2 quaron adams??



NOBODY is gonna be ******* leaving the football offices until this pressing question that is the key to the cali bears being OFF TO THE RACES is answered, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DcVSXbMCUoM
^ this minarets high school shotgun snap kinda reminds jaron of last season's crooked azz snaps from lg1 (hopefully retired as a c1) tyson, yeah the accuracy got 1000% better when bastian took over late in the campaign as c1 cuz that old **** wuz hard to watch (and eventually gonna result in jks getting a suite at alta bates)



facts: #17 jamie looks like a man among boyz

https://instagr.am/p/DbR2eYynHJJ

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DZBPIFDEvoe
jaxsen stokes=3.7 gpa naturally wired (other than skittles) cali golden bear rb1 of the future!!

The World University Rankings 2026 have just been published.

The performance of Asia’s top universities has stalled for the first time in 14 years, while the US continues to decline.

Analysis of the results: https://t.co/FldnUjPV1W #THEUniRankings pic.twitter.com/v0s6ec4ErV

— Times Higher Education (@timeshighered) October 8, 2025

^ real talk: garbage time academic skools for low gpa disposable gladiators in ****hole truck stop towns like norman & stillwater are NOT on this list, ai is rendering the unedukated in today's fiercely competitive global economy as truly ****** when they're 30 years old

---

https://instagr.am/p/Db4QA0ni416
this **** is getting LIVE!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DcXwRU9h1KL
monster real talk: if u don't got FREE all access backstage passes at concerts ur honestly doing something wrong in life

HEISMAN WINNERS UNTIL 2070 SCRIPT LEAKED 🚨🚨🚨 pic.twitter.com/MAOmrgesB9

— CalCentel (@TheCalCentel) August 21, 2026

^ keep an eye on stinson beach high school qb1 romy goff (who is better known in the sporting world for shooting an unreal 58 with rental clubs at indian valley which wuz celebrated afterwards with grandpa jerry, biker mike moroski jr, homicide detective daniel rolovich & his hs football coach dominic ingrassia with tasty west lake beef soup & mongolian beef with tofu at china palace)

sun belt conference defensive player of the year portal transfer trent hendricks reuniting with his former jmu coach at ucla despite financially greater deals at his other finalists cal & virginia tech

trent, see u in 2 weeks in berkeley bro

Deen The Great was hyped after getting caught in a massive brawl at Adin Ross’ boxing press conference 😭 pic.twitter.com/4zABm0lLuJ

— Happy Punch (@HappyPunch) August 21, 2026

https://instagr.am/p/C6CDHgnAH7S
^ white people r funny!!

an unintended benefit of the liv exhibition league ****show is that it's reminded the pga tour (which raises hundred of millions of dollar for local charities) that it's gotta market it's product to younger fanbases (which is also the case with cali bears football & hoops programs)

on a recent zoom call with 2 dozen fellow golf course architecture enthusiasts who share my concerns re: the perceived corruption of the world rankings (by those that wish to manipulate the rankings without an independent cpa firm tabulating the ballots for their own personal financial gain) that the pga tour should embrace the master's wonderful tradition of honorary 1st tee starters

trending golf course architecture enthusiast justin timberlake could be a honorary 1st tee starter with michael milstein and/or gregg tryus as his caddie at the venerable memorial tournament for mr nicklaus, right??

fun fact: justin's wife jessica biel is good friends with my longtime friend/biz mentor son's wife at their heavily fortressed uber wealthy extremely private condo building (one of their neighbors is the daughter of one of the 5 richest persons on planet earth) on manhattan's lower west wide

let's do the right thing (and avoid the ****show)#

2026 st louis cardinals tournament: 4th round update

Collin Morikawa makes a vital EAGLE on 17 to go from three to one back of the lead 🦅👀

📺 CBS pic.twitter.com/JTMMbO9Jbd

— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) August 23, 2026

collin morikawa (68, tied for 4th): collin delivered an ice in his veins 100% synched up clutch (kinda like mateen bhaghani) UNREAL 3 wood 280 yards to 5 feet & then drained the EAGLE putt on the par 5 17th hole to pull within a stroke late in the tournament!!

and on his arch nemesis par 4 9th hole morikawa adaptively changed his strategy by playing a 3 wood (which is his best club for drawing the ball) which safely found the fairway, unlike wilcox our cali bear learns from mistakes & makes the adjustments necessary to be a champion

Collin Morikawa sticks it to within a foot for birdie to move closer to the lead 🎯🔥

📺 CBS pic.twitter.com/GnLDkxUUK5

— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) August 23, 2026

and yeah collin's iron play is ELITE along with rolling in another 81 feet of putts which puts him in the top 10 in the field in putting for the week...morikawa has always putted exceptionally on the relatively flat east lake greens, don't count out our cali bear next week in atlanta!!

how did collin end up in berkeley??

according to legendary hall of fame golf coach/haas biz ad grad steve desimone (everybody loves des) collin wuz one of the top amateurs in the world & narrowed down his choices to usc, ucla, stanford & berkeley...he tole all the coaches he didn't wanna be actively recruited, that this wuz a biz decision & not a recruiting coaches popularity/personality contest...so collin did his homework & the combination of a chance to win a national championship/player development in berkeley along with a haas biz ad degree (ucla & stanford don't offer undergraduate biz programs & the usc biz program is pretty mid) resulted in the decision to become a california golden bear!!

CONGRATS to collin on being one of the 6 automatic selections to the 2026 united states team for the september president's cup to be contested at the fabulously renovated medinah #3 by the wildly talented/imaginative design firm of ocm...the 29 year old morikawa will be competing in his 4th consecutive prez cup & got a stellar 6-2 record!!

https://instagr.am/p/DcZmNNejoUb
cal men's golf team update: 1st day out

https://instagr.am/p/DcW6HbSPwAE
expecting Ziqin Zhou to be high up in the pga university tour rankings this season, trevor cox to continue to ascend with a chip on his shoulder/fiery demeanor as the greatest player in the history of legoland high school and parisian callixte alzas to adjust to college life in the spectacular san francisco bay area at the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including france)...and yeah sihao cong (coming off exceptional play in the us amateur at merion) & xihuan chang (worked hard on his game this summer with now a year of college/living in the united states under his belt) are world class players too!!

2nd day out: at the bayonet black horse on the monterey peninsula

https://instagr.am/p/DcaMOYpshGR
^ "hey trevor, wut's ur favorite attraction at legoland??"

liv exhibition league ****show update:

That’s the most muted team championship celebration of LIV Golf’s history. Tyrrell Hatton couldn’t wait to get off stage. pic.twitter.com/hjbxO1atoa

— Flushing It (@flushingitgolf) August 23, 2026

^ there's more people at the steak 'n shake (shocky luvs the chili mac) off ditch road after a round at crooked stick in indy on tuesday afternoons

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com

#GoBears

I don't see anyone talking about how the latest Cal players are doing in the NFL so far. From what I've seen Masses has gotten playing time with the Raiders and might have a shot at back up cb on the roster. Jaydn Ott not getting any touches on the Chiefs in a deep rb room, not sure if he's banged up yet again...

Big dub vibes 😊#GoToreros | #LasToreras pic.twitter.com/iDF56BaDKo

— San Diego Women's Soccer (@USDwsoccer) August 23, 2026

university of san diego toreros 1
california golden bears 0

the cal women's soccer team is now 0-2-2 on the season after losing to an excited low mid major program (with minimal financial resources unlike cal) kinda like softball, volleyball, lacrosse, field hockey, cross country & track & field that are basically uncompetitive under the FAILED leadership of non berkeley grad JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL

the women's hoops team despite generational marketable talent lulu "let it fly" twidale is making no inroads in selling tixs or increasing the fan base particularly among the critically needed student body despite a FUN team that won 21 games last season, that's just an utter failure of an inept marketing department aka the rebranded strawberry creek studios that is incapable of competing in today's 6 second attention span economy at a time that the valkyries are SOLD OUT on gamedays with 18,046 new fans for the wnba expansion franchise (which got highly effective innovative targeted marketing at previously ignored consumer sectors *lgbt)

rich, when are you gonna hold your worthless bureaucrat co-athletic directors accountable??

this is cal women's athletics (as enabled by a well intended but feckless chancellor that don't give 2 ***** about the experiences of berkeley's female student athletes (we will NEVER forget the abused women's swimmers)#

Collin's missed par putt Sunday on 18 cost him 543k...

https://instagr.am/p/CAmBnDbjdkd
dwm, eleonora's unreal drained birdie putt won her 5 euros in a side bet!!

Cal_79 said:

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#GoBears

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agreed 79, can u do me a solid & send shocky a copy of the volleyball schedule??

https://instagr.am/p/DcB5biisbWv

https://instagr.am/p/DTEFiAxEtSc
real talk: unlike coach lup who don't know **** about maps all american wideout zion white is leaving humid as **** (with ginormous insects that suck ur blood) florida in order to play his senior season back home in beautiful ewa beach before heading back to the water to sail to the spectacular san francisco bay area & join his brahs in the inclusive poly house near the berkeley campus!!



cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (and a home away from home)#

Under this streamlining/rightsizing the athletic department scenario, would berkeley be in compliance with title ix prong requirements??

My criticism of FAILING women's sports programs that are uncompetitive is directed at JENNIFER SIMON-O'NEIL who is not only intensely disliked by donors but also by her own employees & the revenue sports programs.

And yeah shocky gotta real problem with cal athletics providing preferential admission to the children of the super rich (with varsity blues vibes) when a 4.25 gpa young lady/valedictorian at inglewood high school who is also taking care of her sick grandmother gets the heartbreaking letter that she's gonna be denied admission to her "dream school" of berkeley because some white girl from a swiss prep school (100,000+ euro annual tuition/boarding which includes armed security bodyguards) that plays a country club sport took her slot.

But reasonable people can disagree and that's fine, maybe cal should start a women's YACHTING program (like stanford) for kids from uber affluent families with home matches at the tiburon yacht club that travels on non commercial flights to matches in the hamptons & newport, rhode island along with international travel to ibiza & st tropez.

Hi Bill:

The short answer to your question is no, what you've suggested would not put Cal in compliance with Title IX under Prong 1; it would make the problem worse. Cutting lacrosse, field hockey, cross country and track and field would reduce the number of female athletes, based on current roster sizes on Calbears.com, to 207 women. That would limit the number of male athletes to 167, to reflect the 54%/46% ratio of women to men on campus. To get down to 167 guys playing, in addition to the previous listed cuts of baseball, gymnastics, crew, cross country, soccer, tennis and track, Cal would additionally have to cut either rugby or the water sports, choosing whether to piss off the Spiekers, or the donors associated with Jack Clark.

Which goes back to my point, which is that trying to comply on Prong 1 is probably not possible at Cal. You therefore have to comply on Prongs 2/3, which have no socioeconomic component. In fact, if a group of women came forward and demanded a women's wrestling program (yes, that's an NCAA sport), Cal would probably have to do it.

Let's face it, if we're going to argue about college athletes taking spots away from other students, that probably mitigates against having any intercollegiate sport that doesn't pay for itself, or doesn't have a benefactor that also donates substantially to academics. Therefore you would have football, basketball, golf, rugby, men's and women's swimming and water polo, and Cal would be out of compliance with Title IX.

Lastly, I agree with you about Jennifer SO. Athletic directors should be judged on the performance of the sports they oversee, and hers stink. My dream scenario would be to have Sandy Barbour come back just to oversee women's sports. Under her I suspect, the girls' would win, or their coach's heads would roll.

https://instagr.am/p/DccmjCXMtBE
^ the 1st tee at cypress point (unlike morfontaine) requires a drive downhill over the hedge (that guards against low flighted tee balls nailing cars traversing the entrance road to the clubhouse), if the monster wuz the head coach the boyz would be walking 18 holes at tehama instead of cpc

coach wilson, why the **** is the cong show (who ironically got the best hair of anybody on planet earth other than doms) the only guy on ur team that isn't issued a team lid??

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
that's just messed up & honestly it's a shame

do better, coach (don't be like coach lup who got three stooges hair)

Professor Jeff, thank you for the professional courtesy in allowing me to turn in another homework assignment late because of my recent travels to 3:00 am Ibiza nightclubs. Also my apologies for not paying attention during your class, that CBYF1 visiting graduate assistant from ASU (the one with the ponytail) in the front row is messing up my focus.

Haas Business School: BA 146: Collegiate Athletic Department Financial Streamlining in Compliance with Title IX

Student: Bill "Shocky" Schulz aka the Sofa King (sometimes just can't get **** done, sigh)

Men's Programs Cuts/Reclassifying to Club Sports:

Baseball-43 counters, players on the roster
Cross County-19 counters
Gymnastics-20 counters
Rowing-25 counters (reduced from the current 64)
Rugby-30 counters (reduced from the current 65, the two Spiekers can probably pay their own way)
Track & Field-56 counters
Soccer-30 counters
Total reduction in counters-223

Women's Programs Cuts/Reclassifying to Club Sports:
Cross Country-14 counters
Field Hockey-21 counters
Lacrosse-25 counters
Track & Field-47 counters
Total reduction in counters-107 counters

Would these numbers work with respects to Title IX's prong requirements?

There's some wiggle room as the uber affluent parents of daughters from some of the wealthiest enclaves/neighborhoods on planet earth could be asked to fully endow the Field Hockey and Lacrosse programs. And of course reclassifying both Men's Rugby and Rowing to club sports status should also be on the table if necessary.

Note: Both Tennis programs are expected to be fully endowed in the near future.

And after reviewing all the non revenue sports rosters (and rapid departures from Olympic sports programs after admission/enrollment in Berkeley) it's pretty ******* obvious that an independent OUTSIDE COMPLIANCE firm should be reviewing the preferential academic admissions for the children of high net worth families sign offs by coaches and athletic department bureaucrats for potentially criminal Varsity Blues misconduct. Kat Brown and her predecessor Justin DiTolla appear to be rubber stamping/looking the other way on this job requirement. The Assistant Athletic Director of Administration Delaney Heller is an absolutely corrupt worthless bureaucrat who repeatedly (and in an adversarial manner) delayed my public information requests to her and now retired CFO Tom Lowry asking for simple transparency re: Knowlton driven loans from the Central Campus (this information was finally forthcoming after I involved Beth Tafolla-Voetsch on my behalf).

There are clear reasons (and should not be a surprise to anyone) why the Football program is now on a clear upward trajectory now that it operationally is AUTONOMOUS from the longtime anti-sports agenda Jay Larson and Jennifer Simon-O'Neil.

It's my firmly held belief that ALL Berkeley students (in addition to receiving FREE tickets to all Football & Men's Basketball games) should be physically active with MOVEMENT to support mental health well being at the sometimes stressful #1 ranked public university (and Top 10 overall) in the World and that Berkeley's focus should be upon high participation rates at the RSF, intramural leagues and club sports.

https://instagr.am/p/DJIXKWVyCtA
^ literally the only likable (employable) person from the bankrupt liv exhibition golf league