https://instagr.am/p/DcU25attG9t
literally the most unreal display of +2 athleticism in the history of ucla football!!

do u got ur tix(s) for 9/5/26??

the monster wuz just tole that some of the tarps are being removed (by cal's monster offensive line, cheap/strong labor) rite now!!

get ur spot at the center of the universe on a beautiful fall evening gameday, there's no backing down now (this **** is NOT that complicated)~~

https://instagr.am/p/Dcb_6G7y0Sy
yeah the uc championship game is kinda important, ucla played a key role in breaking up the pac 10 unbeknownst to a lost in the clouds chancellor christ, clueless as **** athletic department officials including jay & jenny and the university of california board of regents

it took a flip flop last minute acc invitation vote by the north carolina state president (due to intense lobbying from condoleezaa rice (stanford), george bush (smu) & the notre dame's then athletic director jack swarbrick) to save cal from an irrelevant conference & the existential end of cal athletics as we know it

posting on this board's pointless gameday thread instead of being at memorial stadium basically means ur candy azz soft (or maybe aged out of sports fandom, sorry bingo nite don't count) & don't really give a ****

Hi Bill:

Let me simplify the numbers further. To comply on Prong 1 of Title IX, the ratio of male-to-female athletes at Cal must be approximately the same as the ratio of total male students to total female students at the school.

That ratio is 46 percent male students, versus 54 percent female students. Therefore, for every 46 male athletes at Cal, there must be 54 female athletes to comply.

My count, based on the (perhaps not very accurate) rosters on Calbears.com, is that there are 508 male athletes, versus 314 female athletes. Therefore, Cal is not currently in compliance with Prong 1. Your cuts would reduce the male total to 285, and the female total to 207. Cal would still be out of compliance, because the make-up of the student body and the requirements of Prong 1, mean that Cal must have more women athletes than men athletes to comply. That's very hard to do if you have a football team, because football rosters are so large. IMHO, this is the reason most schools in the SEC have small non-revenue athletic programs, so they only have to offer the bare minimum of women's sports to comply with Prong 1.

Again, this math makes it unlikely that Cal is going to comply on Prong 1, so it's left with Prongs 2 and 3, which essentially require it offer women's sports any time women express an interest in having them. Expanding with a focus on women is Prong 2. Accommodating athletic interests of women is Prong 3. So if some women want to start wrestling, or bowling or fencing, Cal will probably have to pay for it.

https://instagr.am/p/DcezdQ0Mjdp
CONGRATS to ziqin & sihao hitting in regulation the iconic par 3 16th hole at cypress point and callixte pounding a drive over the hedge on the par 4 1st hole at cpc without involving any physical damage to vehicles!!

but hitting driver for long hitters (with the tree/sand clump jealously guarding the center of the fairway) on the par 4 17th hole at arguably the most SPECTACULAR cathedral of golf is a freshman (or colt knost) dumb azz course management decision

https://instagr.am/p/DSS2jiuCUk1
^ real talk: shocky walks 36 holes in the same time that the bears play 18 holes, sigh

THE ADVENTURE (who's gonna be ur all in ghostriders in traveling further afar to the unknown??)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DMiYw8XuMmL
hey jeff, wuz talking with a longtime fellow golf course architecture enthusiast (sr partner at nashville's largest law firm, diehard volunteer sports fan and a member of augusta national & the honors club) & in response to my questions regarding title ix tole me "billy, i've got associates that could devise a workable plan to make berkeley title ix compliant in 15 minutes" with a chuckle

so here's the counters from the vols streamlined 18 programs with sec media dollars vs cal's bloated bureaucratic 28 programs with reduced share acc media dollars:
https://utsports.com

men's programs:
baseball-39 counters
basketball-17 counters (including dai dai ames)
cross country-9 counters
football-113 counters
golf-8 counters
swimming-25 counters
tennis-10 counters
track & field-33 counters
total counters-254

women's programs:
basketball-15 counters
cross country-14 counters
golf-8 counters
rowing-68 counters
soccer-26 counters
softball-22 counters
swimming-35 counters
tennis-10 counters
track & field-45 counters
volleyball-18 counters
total counters-261

my point is that jay & jenny are perpetuating the knowlton bull**** that cal athletics can't field winning teams in most sports & balance the budget because major donors don't want that which is 100% NOT true, the university's largest donors the builders of berkeley are not demanding the presence of these losing programs that are poorly attended & ignored by the student body and alums

how **** works in the sec/deep south: my golf buddy for years has invited out the vols men's & women's golf teams including the head coaches and athletic director to augusta national every spring (and on the final night in the butler cabins hands over a check for $250,000 for each program)...well one year he wuz upset with one of the coaches so that spring he just invited one of the teams & not the athletic director...low key southern hospitality message sent, that summer the athletic director fired the failing coach & my buddy invited everybody out to augusta the next spring without anybody ever mentioning anything

how **** works in berkeley: the bureaucrats in the athletic department will set remarkably low metrics & then say they SOLD OUT the student section of its allocation even tho memorial stadium will have potentially 40,000+ EMPTY seats for the wagner game because the outta touch white management team FAILED to offer FREE tixs to ALL berkeley students...yeah there's an art to being a disingenuous bureaucrat that manipulates the facts, kinda waiting for the announcement that cal hoops student section is SOLD OUT this season too despite once again finishing at the bottom of the acc in attendance

https://instagr.am/p/C7rJmB1ufmr

Shocky1 said:

---

^ fun story: shocky took shay on a michigan world top 100 golf daddy/daughter roadtrip (crystal downs, oakland hills, franklin hills, meadowbrook, indianwood, kingsley, greywalls, forest dunes & arcadia bluff) with her serving as my caddie ($150 bucks per loop, the pine valley going rate, plus a pga/high gpa bonus at the end of the trip) to help her save up some money before attending denver law school

so the 1st nite out we're in downtown detroit checking out a brand new ramen place when leaving we see a bunch of walking traffic towards the arena...shay asks me do i think it's a baseball game or something??...dad says no, most of the young ladies are wearing dresses showing half of their boobs/azzs

shay checks her phone & says it's a concert next door do we wanna go??

we got nothing going on so dad says sure & shay buys 2 tixs with her phone for the front row

anyways it's drake (who as a canadian across the border view spent a lotta time in detroit) & migos (the shockster realized he ****** up his career choices, he should've been a "hype" man who basically got no musical talent but amps up the crowd by yelling **** like "croc pot" or "drop top" while jumping up & down like a dumb azz)

there's a guy standing by us ready to go on stage next, shocks tells the guy he's the only guy in the arena whose more excited to hear t-grizzly (america's storyteller) than that loser drake!!...shay tells t-grizzly that's 100% true, that cal's monster class has always featured his music, t thinks this **** is funny as **** as we talk for maybe 5 minutes & fist bumps the MONSTER before he's introduced by drake as "detroit's greatest mother******" and runs on stage!!



joy road (ruff)#

---

wut up twon, t-grizzly just texted me & tole the monster ur his favorite cali bear or something!!

https://instagr.am/p/DbCNGPBnF5x

https://instagr.am/p/Dce6pz9M8fo

day in, day out pic.twitter.com/GrdFzoJqEf

— UNLV Football (@unlvfootball) August 12, 2026

real talk: when them high gpa berkeley bears travel to sin city on saturday october 3rd to battle unlv at allegiant stadium's nfl dome, our opponent will be a football program that is favored to win the mountain west conference via an exceptional rb1 with literally no academic component that best prepares its low gpa dumb azzs for future exciting hourly wage careers with meaningful majors such as casino valet car parking tourism, advanced slot machine repair technology & upscale escort management aka the strong pimp hand!!

oppenheimer wuz a berkeley professor, he never took a recruiting trip to unlv!!

KAAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go rebels!!

EXCLUSIVE footage of max homa's 1 hit wonder caddie pappageorge reminiscing about that cbyf1 scorer with the blue sleeveless polo & mythical triggering ponytail thru the back of the white cap at colonial that he wuz macking on with not even low key/subtle (monster level) sideway glances instead of cleaning homa's clubs & raking traps!!

https://instagr.am/p/DTgqgNejJpJ
yeah behind the scenes the pga tour is NOT all ***** & giggles, there's the struggle that must be

OFFICIAL CAL'S MONSTER CLASS PGA TOUR UPDATE:

https://instagr.am/p/Dcg5Q7TvNtM
in response to commish rolapp's request for a "fair pathway back for LIV golfers" in order to avoid current anti monopolistic & reverse condemnation lawsuits before the maricopa county supreme court, the shockster's recommendation of a 57 player hexagon gauntlet fight to the end (with no water or medical aid) for 1 spot on the pga tour in the 2027 season has been accepted to be contested tomorrow at noon on the asphalt parking lot at the tpc scottsdale stadium course!!

admission for all students (including apollo, basha, chandler, notre dame, cactus shadows, mountain view & sandra day o'connor high schools) will be FREE!!

cal drop out after 1 year (shades of jt, books r for losers, roll tide!!) byeong hun an could not be reached for comment

MMA fighter got knocked out after calling his opponent’s wife fat 😬

“His b*tch is fat, bro. Give her some dieting tips. All them rolls.” pic.twitter.com/NUw11XGWjl

— Happy Punch (@HappyPunch) August 25, 2026

https://instagr.am/p/DceH8vLBeDq
^ apparently the criteria unbeknownst to me for becoming a substitute yoga teacher1 (syt1) includes being a CUTE cbyf1 which wuz reaffirmed to me today by modern yoga's senior management which got shocky unfairly evaluated as a syt17

**** me

anyways, a yoga/meditation practice is critical for golfers that are chasing SPEED with the ball/club speed metrics that are necessary for today's championship golf via relentless s&c weight training/high protein nutrition...3 of the 4 greatest cali bear golfers Ziqin Zhou, michael kim & collin morikawa all got on & off back issues, they desperately need yoga/meditation practices...max homa is the best built with his unreal workouts & is ******* unbreakable kinda like his idol kirk gibson!!

back in the day the #3 ranked hoops player in his class visited berkeley in a super secret visit (that wuz known of course to the de facto general manager of the program, after all jaylen brown read cal's monster class daily during his jr & sr years of high school)...the KEY to this successful recruitment wuz his conversations with all world s&c coach nicodemus christopher who outlined a detailed developmental gameplan for getting to the league via gym work with nico & yoga flexibility/fluidity/injury avoidance with the monster



yeah jaylen is an alpha predator male (which is impossible if u got back issues) in the violent nba & currently got a 6 year super max contract worth $305,000,000

it all started at modern yoga (how did it end up like this??)#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the bearinsider.com

Free Shocky

Shocky1 said:

---

2028 high school recruiting update:

Sophomore year Varsity Highlights
⭐️ 5.2 TPG
⭐️ 9 TFL’s
⭐️ 4 Sacks
⭐️ 1 FF
⭐️ 1 TD
(5 games missed due to Injury)https://t.co/W6gRaOnMmp pic.twitter.com/fSELMLBsjX

— LandonMiller4⭐️ (@LMiller2028) December 19, 2025

cali's #1 ranked linebacker in the 2028 class & national recruit with unreal closing SPEED 6'25" 210 lbs langdon miller from local powerhouse delasalle high school would be a DAY 1 ilb1 starter (which may or may not be the case in eugene, columbus & south bend) as a golden bear!!

https://instagr.am/p/DPYkpzrDvuI
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (in case u haven't figured it out yet coach)

---

Concord (Calif.) De La Salle linebacker Landon Miller has lined up a handful of game visits for this season, including stops at Cal, Oregon and USC, and continues to work on possible dates with a few Midwest suitors.

The latest on the talented defender: https://t.co/RfyQrwf8Hv pic.twitter.com/hKviFYllNA

— Blair Angulo (@BlairAngulo) August 26, 2026

CalCentel has released its first team injury report of the season, with several projected starters in jeopardy going into Week 1 against Cal’s southern satellite campus.

Will this move the betting odds? pic.twitter.com/fxSQhT69Ti

— CalCentel (@TheCalCentel) August 20, 2026

INJURY UPDATES: dangerous bears all banged up, telepathic bruins in perfect health *tho they all look kinda skinny!!

https://instagr.am/p/DchNZZjyV2U

Shocky1 said:

---

hey jeff, wuz talking with a longtime fellow golf course architecture enthusiast (sr partner at nashville's largest law firm, diehard volunteer sports fan and a member of augusta national & the honors club) & in response to my questions regarding title ix tole me "billy, i've got associates that could devise a workable plan to make berkeley title ix compliant in 15 minutes" with a chuckle

so here's the counters from the vols streamlined 18 programs with sec media dollars vs cal's bloated bureaucratic 28 programs with reduced share acc media dollars:
https://utsports.com

men's programs:
baseball-39 counters
basketball-17 counters (including dai dai ames)
cross country-9 counters
football-113 counters
golf-8 counters
swimming-25 counters
tennis-10 counters
track & field-33 counters
total counters-254

women's programs:
basketball-15 counters
cross country-14 counters
golf-8 counters
rowing-68 counters
soccer-26 counters
softball-22 counters
swimming-35 counters
tennis-10 counters
track & field-45 counters
volleyball-18 counters
total counters-261

my point is that jay & jenny are perpetuating the knowlton bull**** that cal athletics can't field winning teams in most sports & balance the budget because major donors don't want that which is 100% NOT true, the university's largest donors the builders of berkeley are not demanding the presence of these losing programs that are poorly attended & ignored by the student body and alums

how **** works in the sec/deep south: my golf buddy for years has invited out the vols men's & women's golf teams including the head coaches and athletic director to augusta national every spring (and on the final night in the butler cabins hands over a check for $250,000 for each program)...well one year he wuz upset with one of the coaches so that spring he just invited one of the teams & not the athletic director...low key southern hospitality message sent, that summer the athletic director fired the failing coach & my buddy invited everybody out to augusta the next spring without anybody ever mentioning anything

how **** works in berkeley: the bureaucrats in the athletic department will set remarkably low metrics & then say they SOLD OUT the student section of its allocation even tho memorial stadium will have potentially 40,000+ EMPTY seats for the wagner game because the outta touch white management team FAILED to offer FREE tixs to ALL berkeley students...yeah there's an art to being a disingenuous bureaucrat that manipulates the facts, kinda waiting for the announcement that cal hoops student section is SOLD OUT this season too despite once again finishing at the bottom of the acc in attendance

---

Bill, I don't agree with the Knowlton/dual ****tards bull**** either, but that's a different issue from complying with Title IX. According to AI, the Tennessee student body is 53.5 percent women and 46.5 percent men. Based on the numbers above, the atletic program is 51 percent women and 49 percent men, so they're a lot closer to being in numerical compliance than Cal is. Also, it may be that the flower of Tennessee womanhood is a lot less litigious than the Cal field hockey players that sued when football took over their field, and IAD didn't do anything to replace it. In any event, I've told you why the Cal structure is the way it is, and we've really beaten this horse to glue. I'm sure we're boring the hell out of eveyone else looking in. Peace out.

2026 coca cola museum in atlanta tournament: 1st round update

https://instagr.am/p/DVd7HrNAcxp
^ on the auburn roadie me & slim wadie spent our 1st nite out in buckhead at the new nobu hotel, wuz a first out twosome the next morning at the fantastic peachtree (arguably the 2nd best course in the south) in a 2 & a half hours walking round & then we went (at my urging) to the absolutely waste of time coca cola museum (slim wadie made me reimburse him for his admission tix in order to avoid potential litigation) in downtown atlanta

collin morikawa (64, tied for 2nd):

what is the greatest INJUSTICE of the pga tour??

no, it's not the good good bull**** (there is no place on planet earth for even fake violence towards females), it's morikawa not properly being recognized as the winner of the 2024 tour championship

collin wuz 18 under par for that week, the next lowest score wuz 17 under par but because there wuz this dumb azz pre tournament awarding of strokes scottie "won" the tournament because of the now defunct "starting strokes" advantage...for those of u not quite following along (like jeff faraudo who also mistakenly thinks golf fans give 2 ***** about tournament purse dollars which is 1980s sports journalism), this would be like wagner starting the september 18th football game with the scoreboard at memorial stadium before the opening kick off showing the score as "wagner 21, california 0"...got it??

anyways the monster is working with commish rolapp's minions to get this corrected & a proper apology announced on sunday afternoon that morikawa is the rightful winner of the 2024 tour championship (with no changes in prize award dollars, we just want the record books to be accurate)

repeat after me: collin morikawa straight up WON the ******* 2024 tour championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today collin is continuing to roll the rock with 123 feet in drained putts!!...but in his postgame interview with the golf channel he attributed his improved putting to advice from max homa, tiger woods & kevin kisner with ZERO appreciation for the monster's multi year lessons re: releasing the putterhead (to avoid his shoves right of the cup with a slightly open putterface) & bringing in his caddies for greens reads, sigh
https://www.golfchannel.com/watch/pga-tour/2026-tour-championship-collin-morikawa-round-1-recap



my only constructive criticism of morikawa today wuz his dumb azz course management decision in laying up with a utility wood on the 450 yard slightly uphill par 4 13th hole which he did so into the punishing left rough which required a scrambling par save from over the green after his tee ball only traveled 250 yards...there are 2 fairway bunkers at east lake down the left side of this fairway, collin should be able to carry the 1st bunker which protrudes into the fairway with a solid drive & he can't reach the 2nd bunker which is 325 yards out...hit the ******* DRIVER mañana, u feel me brah??

cal men's golf update:

https://instagr.am/p/Dcj8y4yMdSd
morikawa not the only cali bear to shoot a 64 today, former legoland high school superstar/current sophomore trevor cox fresh off a confidence building tournament at the us amateur at merion with an en fuego 64 to shoot the course record!!

as oppenheimer would say, KAAAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

will be very interesting to see who are the lowest 5 scoring qualifiers (coach wilson runs a meritocracy program which replicates the pga tour) for the team's opening tournament september 7th/8th at the gila river whirlwind resort just south of phoenix (hydration will be critical, it will be 100+ degrees with no shade trees & a non tight walkable routing like tucson national last season)...the shockster's original travel plans wuz to fly after the ucla game from san francisco to new york for him & his daughter taylor's week long roadie from nyc thru the hudson valley & niagara falls (never been, it's been suggested that the best falls viewing is at nite from the canadian side, gotta remember to bring our passports) up to the syracuse game but now he may fly back to the desert to watch his bears on monday or something before traveling to the eastcoastie

cal is a ******* golf school!!#

throw it down Michelle Onyiah 💥 pic.twitter.com/2cb036B2gz

— Indiana Fever (@IndianaFever) August 24, 2026

michelle onyiah-my favorite women's hooper of all time with unreal +2 athleticism whose limited collegiate development (which is impacting her wnba opportunities) wuz marked by poor coaching of defensive fundamentals (i.e. reaching with the hands, moving the lower body when posted up, lack of awareness of the principle of verticality), foul trouble (the bears all time leader in offensive moving screens), playing outta position (onyiah is a natural post interior 4, not a banging 5 defensively which wuz a key factor in her limited minutes/fouling out during her years in berkeley, read & repeat last season with naya ojukwu) & a program culture ingrained with an acceptance of correctable turnovers (i.e. attempting cross court passes that are often intercepted or thrown outta bounds, these fundamentals are usually coached up in middle school)

but charmin's biggest failure wuz revealed in my conversations with michelle on fall football gamedays at memorial stadium when multiple times we discussed her bizarro (and entirely inaccurate) perception that the refs wuz intentionally biased against her which she tole me the head coach agreed with her on this strange unjustified paranoia

go be great michelle!!

shocky's SUPER FANTASTIC 2027 commit scouting report:

#BearTerritory 🏠🐻 https://t.co/MeSH8BIrKZ

— Gunnar Perry (@Gunnar_Perry44) April 9, 2026

as part of his responsibilities to the cal football program, shocky drove across town tonite from north scottsdale to goodyear to check out the cactus shadows vs desert edge high school game & check out the state's #1 linebacker as ranked by the arizona republic...when exiting the freeway in the west valley the monster sees the buc-ee's around the corner & thinks great ima gonna get a tasty bbq brisket sandwich & a small slab of chocolate fudge after the game, life is good!!

but when he pulls into the almost empty desert edge high school parking lot he has the following conversation:

shocky (rolling down his window): excuse me ladies, where's the football field??

latina softball players (smiling at señor stupido): the field is right here but the football game is an away game, the football team bus left like 90 minutes ago!!

shocky: ruh roh

so then the shockster drives his dumb azz back across town to cactus shadows high school (which is only 15 minutes away from his tree fort if u drive at the speed of light & ignore all traffic signals)

gets to the front gate halfway thru the 2nd quarter & can hear the bands playing & the smell of hotdogs grilling

shocky (pulling out a 20 dollar bill): i'd like to get one ticket please

volunteer football moms; i'm sorry sir we only take phone transactions

shocky (pulling out his flip phone): i don't gotta smart phone, only a flip phone

volunteer football moms (looking at the other moms like is this guy for reals): are you serious??

shocky: yes

volunteer football moms (smiling & looking at me with sympathy): ok you can go in for FREE as our guest then

shocky: thank you!!

Out at Goodyear (Ariz.) Desert Edge at Cave Creek (Ariz.) Cactus Shadows for the first game of the season… pic.twitter.com/GCgV9TO1AN

— Brandon Huffman (@BrandonHuffman) August 28, 2026

so the monster sits down on the aluminum bleachers & asks one of the football dads whose gunnar perry & the dad points to a red head young man without a helmet standing on the sidelines in shorts

the refs & the scoreboard signal the end of the 1st half (desert edge's defensive end #90 jalanie george is a top 10 player in the nation with a nfl tool kit, he's unblockable at this level with his explosive quick twitch 1st step) so shocks hustles down to the field gate leading to the intermission weight room & basically has the following slightly edited conversation (for privacy reasons the reasons for transferring from notre dame high school is gonna remain confidential):

shocky: hey gunna, ima shocky, why aren't you playing, did you rob a bank or something??

gunnar (whose uniform # is 0 & is built like cade uluave who is 6" 230 lbs): no sir, due to transferring high schools i'm going to miss a few games but will be back for desert mountain

shocky: got it, wut's ur gpa??

gunnar: 3.46

shocky: r u gonna go to the ucla game next week??

gunnar: the plan right now is to go to all of cooper's home games in berkeley

shocky: that's awesome, what's gonna be ur position for the bears??

gunnar: middle linebacker, can't wait to play for coach gregory!!

shocky fist bumps gunnar & drives home stopping at the pinnacle peak jade palace for a couple of egg rolls & beef with tofu takeaway, that wuz a ****ton of driving (coach lup is probably laughing his azz off right now thinking that the monster don't seem to got any maps either) tonite in the desert!!

kinda hoping other bears fans will also provide gameday scouting reports for our 2027 high school commits!!

^ note that students are sitting behind the basket including the aisles (fire marshalls tole us this wuz illegal blah blah blah) all the way up to the last row (and not just the designated student section) during the cal's monster class relentlessly marketed era of OVERFLOW SOLD OUT hoops games with 11,000 captain insano loud as **** fans!!



john, 100%, pretending anything is SOLD OUT utilizing disingenous artificially low metrics and not inclusively offering FREE tickets to ALL students (including poor kids that don't got rich parents from menlo park like the chancellor that will buy them the annual student season pass) is apparently something they teach at 3 day all expenses paid TARP MANAGEMENT seminars at the san diego downtown hyatt for lazy azz bureacrats & honestly just dumb as ****

Former Oklahoma and Auburn transfer Jackson Arnold will be the starting QB for UNLV on the first play of Saturday's game against Memphis, Dan Mullen said on his radio show last night.https://t.co/U8U8DRvrkV https://t.co/JQ0VL6zuTq pic.twitter.com/32vaWi9BZ4

— Pete Nakos (@PeteNakos) August 28, 2026

Shocky1 said:

---

2026 coca cola museum in atlanta tournament: 1st round update

https://instagr.am/p/DVd7HrNAcxp
my only constructive criticism of morikawa today wuz his dumb azz course management decision in laying up with a utility wood on the 450 yard slightly uphill par 4 13th hole which he did so into the punishing left rough which required a scrambling par save from over the green after his tee ball only traveled 250 yards...there are 2 fairway bunkers at east lake down the left side of this fairway, collin should be able to carry the 1st bunker which protrudes into the fairway with a solid drive & he can't reach the 2nd bunker which is 325 yards out...hit the ******* DRIVER mañana, u feel me brah??

---

2026 lance cooper celebration tournament: 2nd round update

collin morikawa (67, tied for 3rd): yeah morikawa reads the monster & today he made the suggested course strategy adjustment and faded/pounded a DRIVER 320 yards down the fairway on the par 4 13th hole which set up a tap in par after a filthy short sided sandy!!

and then on the diabolical front left pin placement on the par 3 15th hole collin hit his PUTTER from off the green (the shockster hates the fairway wood putt play by morikawa which is often gunned well past the hole) & then brought in the sage mark urbanek for a CADDIE GREENS READ before burying the critical 7 foot par putt!!

our cali bear is an unreal 11 outta 12 (only exception on his 1st hole of the tournament from the left swale) on scrambling during the first 2 rounds & if he can tighten the driver up (missed 4 consecutive drives in a row on the par 4 7th, 8th, 10th & 12th holes in the left rough & also the left fairway bunker on the 17th hole with handsy swings not synched up with the lower body/rotating thru the ball to generate the fade, the cut gotta cut) collin could add the 2026 tour championship to his 2024 tour championship, u feel me!!

He’s married to the game 🏌️ pic.twitter.com/MDa72AjUpN

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) August 28, 2026

calumnus said:

---

There should be no limit to student season ticket sales. Just keep selling. Let the student section spill..

---

insurance sellers and fire marshalls may disagree
< looks around, uh-oh, WRONG BOARD! runs away >

smh, most (but not all) fire marshalls are overrated

https://instagr.am/p/B-i1KzXFphw

2027 3-star running back @JaxsenStokes lowering the 💥 here 👀https://t.co/fVDJ7O4bmz pic.twitter.com/n3dU4zDo8C

— Andy Villamarzo (@Andy_Villamarzo) August 27, 2026

Junior year concludes with a GPA of 3.9 #ballerswithbrains pic.twitter.com/worm2OqbXS

— Jaxsen Stokes 27’ (@JaxsenStokes) June 20, 2026

cal's monster class (won't stop on or off the field)!!#

calumnus, sorry but gotta mention some of your tweets are amongst the best >
< backs slowly out of Shocky's personal semi-private domain >

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE look at the current life of the future wife of the cali bears humble FAITH based lefty qb1 from ewa beach:

https://instagr.am/p/DaoCi2iz8A6

Shocky1 said:

---

Shocky1 said:

---

brody, it's been brought to my attention that ur talking smack about me, that u got better hops & **** based upon ur admittedly impressive backflip somersault during ur official visit to berkeley

but let's not name call each other & ****, let's settle this the only honorable way, got it??

no ima NOT talking about a dodgeball game, wut the **** is wrong with u (if ur offended by the monster's potty mouth my advice is that u should stay further afar from coach famika)??

let's have a yoga/gymnastics winner take all match at midfield prior to the kickoff of the 2028 season opener vs ucla at memorial stadium

if u win shocky will give u $1,000,000 in unmarked bills

if shocky wins u promise to make it ur life goal to stop (by whatever means necessary) coach lup from calling berkeley the #1 ranked public university in the "country" (his saying this is causing the monster to lose his ****) vs the WORLD

u feel me, is this battle accepted or not brah??


^ rudnicki, u should probably keep in mind that the north tunnel down to the field entrance is slick concrete & on a significant downward incline & that the monster is doing 25+ stomach crunches from this position (real talk: the only bear on planet earth that can even maybe rival my unreal +3 athleticism is the spida man who can literally jump over burning cars & **** to snag ur crooked azz passes)!!

---

https://instagr.am/p/Da56treHPqe
Dear Mr. Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Not sure if my 4.0 gpa at Folsom High School makes me smarter than your 3.92 gpa at the Haas Business School with a Phil Beta Kappa gold key but my FAITH does not allow me to take advantage of the mentally delusional, ok?

Maybe you could challenge Ace Herman-Dawson instead, he's +1 athletic with a BRIGHT future (he got ZERO interest in any trailer park town school in Tuscon for unambitious low gpa alcoholics, we both want to build GENERATIONAL WEALTH) both on and off the field in Berkeley but not sure about his yoga skillz.

Not trying to be mean here but the reality is that Modern Yoga has correctly evaluated you as a Substitute Yoga Teacher17 (SYT17) not because as you claim you don't got a ponytail (man bun) or any visible tattoos, it's because you cannot do a HANDSTAND!!

Do you really think a weekend yoga workshop is going to save you?

That's just CRAZY talk!!

Your friend,

Brody

---

[url=https://x.com/JustGusPD/status/2093569711074398269][/url]

On site at Folsom HS for a high-powered NorCal matchup to open the 2026 season.

Cardinal Newman facing the state powerhouse Folsom Bulldogs, the reigning CIF State D1AA champs.

Cardinals preseason No. 30 in the state per @CalHiSports. Bulldogs No. 7. #PDPreps pic.twitter.com/BZXhNm76aQ

— Gus Morris (@JustGusPD) August 29, 2026

brody, congrats on the clutch qb1 sneak touchdown win (no somersaults tonite??) but more importantly did u tell ur future starting offensive lineman #74 joshua bunnii ur gonna be buying him dinner when ur both in berkeley??

Rudnicki ends this thriller with a keeper from one yard out.

Final in OT: Folsom 23, Cardinal Newman 17

Heartbreaking loss for the Cardinals but they certainly proved tonight that they can compete with NorCal’s best. #PDPreps pic.twitter.com/aor9CltZ5Y

— Gus Morris (@JustGusPD) August 29, 2026

pro tip: go to an all u can buffet with poly infused cuisine near campus

pic.twitter.com/gGbbya38n4

— Isaiah (@Isaiah_Bertola) July 23, 2026

ewa beach is bear territory (and a home away from home)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/Dcm-ENZMCYT
CONGRATS true freshman parisian callixte alzas on the bogey free 67 in qualifying on the highly challenging nicklaus designed (tremendous philanthropic unified family unlike the grifting corrupt ****tards, right hoyt??) ruby hills!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the city of lights, not talking about las vegas, don't be a dumb azz *better to palm a tight azz)

https://instagr.am/p/DcmUmo_hVIF
Hola Señor Rivera y Stephanie!!

Como estas??

Yo soy bien, mis perros Benji & Happy es muy alegre ahora!!

My Haas B-School FREE consulting recommendation is that you place a muy grande sign in front of the FUN food/drink truck stating:

"1000% of all financial proceeds will support the California Golden Bears football program and NOT be utilized to pay the $500,000 each annual salaries of the unlikeable and non Berkeley grad current Co Athletic Directors Jay & Jenny who are decimating the Women's sports programs and the critical attendance metrics for both Hoops programs.

Vote for Berkeley grad Andrew McGraw as Athletic Director today for a football first Athletic Department!!"

As for naming rights, how about "The Snoopy Bowl"??

https://instagr.am/p/DcmdizDnH_p
Don't be a dumb azz!!

Su amigo,

Shock the Rock
Self appointed valedictorian at Stinson Beach High School & SYT1 at Modern Yoga

P.S. Will Jay & Jenny be speaking anywhere before the UCLA kick off (Shocky has some quick questions he would like to publicly ask the lords of the tarps)??

pic.twitter.com/5WJhmbz2rb

— miles (mpp) 🌹 (@goldmanbear) August 25, 2026

HOUSE CALL!! ☎️@Julio_Tatis1 with the pick-6 to score our 1️⃣st touchdown of the season!!

3Q 13:18 | WAG 7, RMU 14

📺: ESPN+#LetsFly | #NECFB pic.twitter.com/4HJ9PVJVub

— Wagner College Football (@Wagner_Football) August 29, 2026

robert morris colonials 28
wagner seahawks 7

the staten Island seahawks (0-1) could generate only 6 first downs but the GREAT NEWS as many of you know is that the bears 2027 season opener next september as part of the home/away series contract will ensure a FUN weekend in manhattan!

Makin’ buckets with @madsen_mark 🏀 pic.twitter.com/R6Xr38k7Jd

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) August 28, 2026

un******* real cal athletic department marketing campaign:

involves the unlikeable evil as **** (primary enabler of the abused women's swimmers & decimator of women's athletics and men's hoops attendance) JENNIFER SIMON O'NEIL for a giveaway of a handful of FREE student football/men's basketball student passes

the inherent MESSAGE in this ****show is that if u don't got RICH parents from menlo park like the chancellor (sae pledge as a true freshman) then u need to make a carnival hoops shot like a trained seal in order to inclusively celebrate the MAGIC of cal athletics with ur classmates from affluent communities

with jay & jenny "running" the show for another year because lyons don't wanna deal with these nightmare employees right now is anyone surprised that the bears men's & women's hoops attendance is destined to once again be at the bottom of the acc??

2026 coca cola tournament: 3rd round update



collin morikawa (72, tied for 16th): collin drove the ball beautifully (12 outta 14 fairways) but some outta character loose iron shots (only 11 outta 18 greens in regulation) & multiple misread putts (from the fringe on the par 4 5th hole morikawa misread a left edge putt 8 feet right of the hole en route to a bogey) made today a day to forget about, u feel me brah??