My Heisman Trophy ballot following Week 3:
1. Ole Miss QB Trinidad Chambliss
2. Mississippi State QB Kamario Taylor
3. Miami QB Darian Mensah
4. Ohio State WR Jeremiah Smith
5. Miami WR Malachi Toney
6. Florida RB Jadan Baugh
7. USC QB Jayden Maiava
8. Cal S Kingston Lopa
9.… https://t.co/691LGAbOxP

— Pete Nakos (@PeteNakos) September 21, 2026

former pacer kingston lopa's sudden closing SPEED (which needs to be exploited on BLITZES up the middle vs clemson's inexperienced freshman qb1) on the ball is ******* unreal!!

Make that 5️⃣ for @LopaKingston #GoBears pic.twitter.com/kRIS9Gi2UQ

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) September 21, 2026

coach syd's grant high school in sacramento (only a 90 minute drive for moms & the fam on fall gamedays to memorial stadium) is a PIPELINE to that cali bears football program!!

real talk: apex predator edge defenders pacer giovanni hodge (tole me on the field during the ucla pregame warm ups that he got a 3.8 gpa, gio is focused & exudes intensity), 3.8 gpa troy bowens from sutter high school & 3.5 gpa miles schirmer from powerhouse corona centennial high school all got legit opportunities to start/heavy playing rotation snaps as true freshmen in 2027!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ddahawiyk1s
THE TAKERS (get PAID in the NFL!!)#

Defensive. Back. University. https://t.co/W9eSLaobKu

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 20, 2026

clemson update:

https://instagr.am/p/DdeYCu_Dmtq
the tigers football program (which like most predominantly white schools in the deep south neither supports nor condones slavery) is nervously (multiple players already exhibiting symptoms of level 7 panic attacks) staring down wednesday's brutal 3000 miles plane flight from their ****hole truck stop town in south carolina to the cosmopolitan & spectacularly beautiful left coast (which will result in 74 of the team issued vomit bags & all 4 tiny undersized airplane lavatories overflowing) are now anxiously taking leaks/dumps in their lockers, that's 100% uncivilized & messed up (do they not got any shame??)!!

yeah the clemson tigers are a mid football program (dabo's run wuz a good one but it's ******* over now with his disdain for the transfer portal & wilcox thematic preference for hiring non performing assistant coaches/friends) with queasy stomachs & an inexperienced freshman qb1 who is not familiar with exotic well disguised BLITZ packages that are gonna result him leaving alta bates in a ******* body bag late friday nite!!

https://instagr.am/p/DG3celVOs_4
actual text conversation (lightly edited for legal reasons) between clemson qb1 tait reyonolds & shocky:

tait: look shocky, everybody in the tigers program including dabo is reading the monster right now, as a fellow zony can you do me a solid and clarify your kinda cryptic comment that i'm going to leave friday nite's game in a body bag?

shocky: sure tait, tell me about the typical safety blitz when u wuz the qb1 at queen creek high school??

tait: ok maybe a 5'7" 165 lb white boy from mesa mountain view high school that runs a hand timed 4.85 40 obviously signaling his intention to blitz from the free safety position

shocky: so this friday from a totally disguised BLITZ package 6'5" 210 lbs kingston lopa on the 2nd play of the tiger's 1st offensive series is gonna gallop towards you like an enraged leopard with electronic 4.5 40 speed and literally knock the living **** outta you!!

tait: wowza, appreciate the heads up, since we're probably not going to a bowl game this season when i get back to the desert this december for my post wheelchair rehab will you invite me to a princess courtney's modern yoga class?

shocky: sure, we can do that but ur not feeling them clemson coeds??

tait: shocks, most of them are illiterate and have been told by their deep south moms since age 6 that if they don't lock down a man before their "expiration date" of age 20 that their lives will be ruined~~

shocky: ay caramba, no es bueno!!

https://instagr.am/p/DdSzfpQOQRk
fun fact: mi amiga becky g's pr team tole her to tell fallon that this song is about her nephew but rebbeca tole the shockster with a laugh that she kinda of thought of me when she wrote this song, this is all very confusing as there's a reference to "inteligente" but no specific reference to the monster's 3.92 gpa while at berkeley which is kinda disappointing!!

https://instagr.am/p/BK1PpkdD858
https://instagr.am/p/DIbYqfhs9ic
^ real talk: if u don't got FREE all access backstage passes given to u by a performing artist at coachella then ur probably doing something wrong in life!!

The California Golden Bears play football tomorrow pic.twitter.com/XqDVxJnrrU

— CalCentel (@TheCalCentel) September 19, 2026

oski & the 3 stooges go to the trap house (what could possibly go wrong??)!!#

Some things can’t be erased by a scoreboard. I bleed this shit and it brings a tear to my eye that it’s something I can share with my daughter for life. Tonight was painful but only because i really do care. Roll on you magnificent Bears. Bay Area till they put me in the dirt. pic.twitter.com/yiOT3BS2Hc

— Girl Father (@TIMBO_SL1CE) October 6, 2024

this is a prime example of great parenting (the MAGIC of cal football should be shared with those that u love!!)#
^ do u got ur family tixs for this friday nite at 7:30 pm at an ELECTRIC memorial stadium??

real talk: our kids will never remember who won or lost but they will remember how we made them feel!!

https://instagr.am/p/DcXwRU9h1KL

fake football player on campus 🏫

be there at 12:30pm tomorrow vs Wagner! pic.twitter.com/tUkZwhnr6b

— The Bench (@TheBenchCal) September 18, 2026

coach tinker making MOVES with special teams!!#