If the rules allow Elizabeth Swaney to compete, why the hell not go for it? Here is a young woman who wears a red & white monstrosity to a Cal football game "because my dad said to do it." Yes, a true future Nobel Laurette.
Cal admitted her, so we have no one to blame but our admission officers. On the other hand, any publicity is good publicity. Maybe we should just say "thanks for the pub" and be on our way.
Our Ms. Swaney gets to march around in the Opening & Closing Ceremonies, go to some great parties during the week, show off her good looks, probably get a free drink or two if she ever decides to visit Hungry. I say "Go Bear!"
Look, if there aren't enough decent athletes
in the world to keep someone like Elizabeth Swaney from qualifying, why is this event even in the Olympics?
The Gold Medal Winner is "Best in the World?" Seriously? The Gold Metal winner is the best out of the only 30 people who even do this silly event. Here is a clip from the winners interview: "[Crying]
My parents told me not to decide anything after using my bong, but I had perseverance, and my girlfriends said it was a good idea, and now I'm finally a winner! Now that I have my gold medal, does anyone know where I can get some stash around here?"Not one of the men's hockey players competing would be in the this Olympics if the NHL hadn't stupidly decided to skip this year. Yeah, yeah, I know, "These are real athletes." Blah blah blah. They are scrubs, bench warmers, retired people, none of whom are good enough to be currently playing in the NHL.
Interesting watching the beer belly curlers pretending to be "Olympic Athletes." They do have the best sound effects though: "YUP YUP YUP! HAAARRRD HARRRDDD! NO!, SOOOFTT, STOOOOPPPP! NO! HARD HARD SOFT HARD SOFT, YUP!"
Next we'll have "Ping Pong While Going Down the Half Pipe on Tuesday When It's Raining" or some other silliness. Well, if that happens, there'll be another sport for Elizabeth to take advantage of to get to the next Olympics.
We get to see the brilliant IOC make the Russians call themselves "Olympic Athletes from Russia." Oh darn, the Russians have to listen to some other song instead of their National Anthem when they win. Oh well. Here is a group of folks who systematically used illegal drugs for years who have to
change their uniform name!! Horrors!! Yeah, that will teach them a thing or two about cheating! Hahaha.
Here is a Deadspin article about Swaney. Jump down to the comments, they are very entertaining.
The Winter Olympics Feature 2,951 Of The World's Greatest Athletes, And Also This Woman:
https://deadspin.com/the-winter-olympics-feature-2-951-of-the-world-s-greate-1823138678