https://instagr.am/p/BTl6o2oBpiA
dining recommendation for foodies kat & collin morikawa:

shocky's favorite restaurant (ardfin's private dining with the chef on premises for the max 8 guests is a different deal) in scotland is the fabulous (and unpretentious) OSTERIA on high street in north berwick just a 5 minute walk into town from the golf club

pro tip: if u call ahead they just tell everybody there's no availability, just show up & wait ur turn (it's family run & closes around 9:00 pm)

⛳️💧🥊 #WATCH — The full video of the slow play fight that sees one of the slow golfers getting thrown into a pond has emerged 🤣

“You guys can’t even stand & tee your ball up”

(Via: @Hoonos_Sports)

pic.twitter.com/U7PUwoVK94

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) July 8, 2025

scottish open update:

with the ryder cup at bethpage black on long island looming in september, there wuz apparently an altercation today during a practice round at the renaissance club (founders paul & jerry savardi are romanian immigrants that successfully pursued the american dream & now there's an augusta national membership in the family) between several euros & americans that centered around patrick cantlay's slow play (golf should never be played in over 4 hours)

it's not immediately known if morikawa participated in the fisticuffs but since collin wuz raised by a tiger moms who tole him that fighting is for losers he wuz probably just stuffing his face with more FREE dogfood served at player hospitality for the tournament

https://instagr.am/p/DLk2VMzSwCV
look, everybody just needs to dial the temperature in the room down a notch & chill the **** out, ok??...it's not like anybody just delivered a healthy baby girl or something that's actually painful

Shocky1 said:

---

⛳️💧🥊 #WATCH — The full video of the slow play fight that sees one of the slow golfers getting thrown into a pond has emerged 🤣

“You guys can’t even stand & tee your ball up”

(Via: @Hoonos_Sports)

pic.twitter.com/U7PUwoVK94

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) July 8, 2025

scottish open update:

with the ryder cup at bethpage black on long island looming in september, there wuz apparently an altercation today during a practice round at the renaissance club (founders paul & jerry savardi are romanian immigrants that successfully pursued the american dream & now there's an augusta national membership in the family) between several euros & americans that centered around patrick cantlay's slow play (golf should never be played in over 4 hours)

it's not immediately known if morikawa participated in the fisticuffs but since collin wuz raised by a tiger moms who tole him that fighting is for losers he wuz probably just stuffing his face with more FREE dogfood served at player hospitality for the tournament

https://instagr.am/p/DLk2VMzSwCV
look, everybody just needs to dial the temperature in the room down a notch & chill the **** out, ok??...it's not like anybody just delivered a healthy baby girl or something that's actually painful

---

She looks like Ricky Fowler's wife.

https://instagr.am/p/55YJBVFQmU
alex, let's be real here, 4.0 gpa at newport harbor high school/berkeley grad allison just married rickie (whose basically just a lower gpa version of shocky) & has had 2 daughters with him in an absolutely pathetic attempt to make me jealous

whatever



smokeshow brunette ponytails r triggering (except on horsey horses)#

https://instagr.am/p/DLOWSVHP51R
CONGRATS to filipino dad of the year (and a terrific role model to his FUN daughter mimi) jacob de jesus (this is ur most important ACTION foto, brah)

berkeley, stanford & ivy league degrees>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>unlv degree>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>southern new hampshire online degree>>>>>>>>some college, no degree>>>>>>>>>arizona/nebraska degrees>>>>>ged>>reading books & **** in prison

2025 scholly roster departures: 51 departures at this moment

nohl williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted kansas city chiefs
craig woodson, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted new england patriots
miles williams, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
teddeye buchanan, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...uc davis degree...nfl drafted baltimore ravens
xavier carlton, outside linebacker...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree...nfl free agent signed chicago bears
liam johnson, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...princeton (ivy league) degree
david reese, outside linebacker...grad transfer portal to syracuse...florida degree
lachlan wilson, punter...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
ricky correia, defensive lineman...out of eligiblity...berkeley degree...nfl free agent signed new york giants
tj session, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
rush reimer, offensive guard...out of eligibility...montana state degree...nfl free agent signed buffalo bills
will mcdonald, center...out of eligiblity...coastal carolina degree
victor stoffel, offensive tackle...out of eligibility...temple degree
chandler rogers, quarterback...nfl declaration...louisiana monroe degree
corey dyches, tight end...out of eligibility...maryland degree
lu magia hearns, corner...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
marcus harris, corner...out of eligibility...idaho degree...nfl drafted tennessee titans
ryan coe, kicker...out of eligiblity...north carolina degree...nfl free agent signed tampa bay buccaneers
matthew wykoff, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to houston...berkeley degree
jt byrne, tight end...grad transfer portal to georgia tech...berkeley degree
nate rutchena, tight end...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brooklyn cheek, defensive back...transfer portal to wyoming...no berkeley degree
bobby engstler, punter...transfer portal to arkansas state...no berkeley degree
nyziah hunter, wide receiver...transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
fernando "caca" mendoza, quarterback...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
david bird, long snapper...transfer portal to alabama...no berkeley degree
josiah martin, wide receiver...transfer portal to oklahoma...no berkeley degree
mikey matthews, wide receiver...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
cheikh saliou fall, edge defender...out of eligibility...eastern kentucky degree
cj harris, quarterback...grad transfer portal...ohio university degree
matthew littlejohn, defensive back...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
collin gamble, defensive back...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
justin "j-will" williams-thomas...grad transfer portal to marshall...berkeley degree
byron "unk" cardwell jr...grad transfer portal to san diego state...berkeley degree
mavin anderson...grad transfer portal to texas state...berkeley degree
jaydn ott...grad transfer to oklahoma...berkeley degree
mason starling...grad transfer portal to san jose state...berkeley degree
trent ramsey...grad transfer portal to appalachian state...berkeley degree
kadarius calloway...transfer portal to new mexico state...no berkeley degree
dylan jemtegaard...grad transfer portal to montana...mechanical engineering berkeley degree
jaivian "the jet" thomas...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
john gayer...transfer portal to utah state...no berkeley degree
simon mapa...transfer portal to new mexico...no berkeley degree
myles williams...grad transfer portal to nevada...berkeley degree
camden jones...transfer portal...no berkeley degree
jonathan brady...transfer portal to indiana...no berkeley degree
ryan yaites...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
kyle cunanan, transfer portal to nebraska...no berkeley degree
caleb johnston, transfer portal to rutgers...no berkeley degree
tobias merriweather, transfer portal to utah...no berkeley degree
hunter barth, grad transfer portal to stanford..berkeley degree

note: kicker derek morris (umass) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2024 scholly roster departures: 43 bears moving on

matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley haas biz school & masters education...new york jets
barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program
isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...new york jets
patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program...nfl drafted miami dolphins
raymond woodie iii, safety...grad transfer portal to bethune cookman...berkeley degree
ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program
tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree
kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree
blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal to uc davis...berkeley degree
king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree
jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree
sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn & oklahoma state...no berkeley degree
taj davis, wide receiver...football retirement...washington degree
michael luckhurst, kicker...football retirement (cal soccer program)...pursuing berkeley degree
muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal to new mexico..no berkeley degree
jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree
asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program
dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal to sacramento state...berkeley degree
sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
andy alfieri, fullback/linebacker...grad transfer portal to oregon state..berkeley degree
brian driscoll, offensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
brett johnson, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
jaedon roberts, defensive lineman...football retirement...berkeley degree
mason mangum, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to texas a&m (track)...berkeley degree
isaiah young, defensive back...football retirement...berkeley degree
myles jernigan, linebacker...grad transfer portal to louisville...berkeley degree
ender aguilar, offensive lineman...grad transfer portal to tulsa...berkeley degree
marquis montgomery, wide receiver...transfer portal to byu...no berkeley degree
martin tine, offensive lineman...transfer portal to texas state...no berkeley degree
kaylin moore, defensive back...transfer portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
tiumalu afalava, defensive lineman...transfer portal to san diego state...no berkeley degree
marquez dortch, wide receiver...transfer portal to troy...no berkeley degree
sergio allen, linebacker...football retirement...berkeley degree
leremia leremia, defensive end...football retirement (cal rugby program)...berkeley degree
tidiane jalloh, outside linebacker...football retirement...no berkeley degree
ethan saunders, defensive end...football retirement...berkeley degree

note: kicker mateen bhaghani (ucla) not listed cuz he never had a scholly

2023 scholly roster departures: 36 bears moved on

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley degree...nfl drafted indianapolis colts
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity...ucla degree
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity...berkeley degree
darius long jr, defensive line...walk on final semester...berkeley degree
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii & northeastern...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...nevada degree
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement...berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...ucla degree...nfl drafted tennessee titans
trey paster, linebacker...grad transfer to colorado state & bethune cookman...berkeley degree
fatu iosefa, safety...portal to san mateo community college...no berkeley degree
kaleb higgins, corner back...portal to sacramento state...no berkeley degree
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas & nevada...asu degree
ryan lange, guard...football retirement...berkeley degree
jackson brown, tackle...portal to pitt...no berkeley degree
jake muller, tight end...football retirement...berkeley degree
elijah mojarro, tight end...grad transfer to nevada & rice...berkeley degree
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada & washington...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...oregon state degree
j michael sturdivant, wide receiver...portal to ucla & florida...no berkeley degree
justin richard baker, wide receiver...medical retirement...berkeley degree
tommy christakos, wide receiver...medical unretirement to asu...berkeley degree
aidan lee, wide receiver...portal to garden city cc, minot state & bluefield state...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal to utah tech...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state & lamar...fresno state degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu...berkeley degree
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville...purdue degree...carolina panthers
kai millner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer...berkeley degree



do u got premium 91 (a berkeley, stanford of ivy league degree) in ur tank??#

MONSTER reader request: please review the above lists & offer updates/corrections re: academic profiles...if ur a bearent/player & want to stay low key, send me a private message or an email...dom arigato

Undrafted rookie free agent and former all pac -12 Cornerback / return specialist @Hearns_21 available and looking for an opportunity.

Lu-Magia Hearns III 2024 Graduate:
University of California Berkeley
43 games played with 23 starts
2021 Runner up PAC 12 Frosh of year
2022… pic.twitter.com/y2VWIdjENn

— Lu-Magia Hearns Jr (@blackandicy) June 12, 2025

CONGRATS lu magia hearns jr on earning ur berkeley degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

above list will be edited to reflect lu's significant achievement & also nohl williams earning a degree too from the world's #1 ranked public university!!

jermaine terry earned an oregon state degree in sociology

kaylin moore & j michael sturdivant left westwood without earning ucla degrees unlike femi oladejo who got his diploma

simon mapa transferred to new mexico

camden jones (whose family home burned in the la fires) is still in the transfer portal with no takers at this time after one year in berkeley

tidiane jalloh (football retirement, no degree) is now a fitness coach in lausanne switzerland

aidan lee is departing bluefield state into the transfer portal with no takers at this time, no degree

martin tine is departing texas state into the transfer portal with no takers at this time, no degree

academically struggling at cal sam jackson v is now at his 4th college at oklahoma state, no degree

kai millner (and his overly involved dumb azz dad dwayne who threw away his berkeley 3.5 gpa son's chance to be accepted into the haas biz ad program) is not listed on the 2025 nau football roster



marquis montgomery is still a student at byu studying american studies with a minor in business and now goes by the name marquis taliulu and is not listed on the 2025 byu football roster

https://instagr.am/p/DLAqGTGp3EM
8 std clap in westwood (go bruins)!!#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

https://instagr.am/p/Cixq7zBJTgb
CONGTATS to football retiree ryan lange earning his berkeley degree in may in american studies...lange just hooked up cade uluave with a very fast whip so if anybody in the locker room needs new wheels ryan is ur california golden bear with the deals

kinda hoping cade bought the extended warranty from ryan or something



above list updated

Collin Morikawa will take the course this week with his fourth different caddie of the season as he continues his lonely search for a partner who can unlock his A-game https://t.co/Xlkr6lUPSk

— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) July 9, 2025

haas biz ad grad collin morikawa featured in today's wall street journal

shocky's take (which ur not gonna read anywhere else) is that in the modern era of golf that pga pros spend many days with more quality time with their caddies than their wives/girlfriends/doggy dogs...and that's why rory's caddie is his childhood buddy from northern ireland & xander's caddie is his former san diego state teammate...fun fact: des tole me at this year's ncca championship at la costa that he recruited xander (who is not a dumb azz) but that his dad made the final decision telling des it wuz really close but he wuz his son's swing coach & that he lived in san diego

billy foster is gonna caddie for collin at the scottish & british opens (his links knowledge could help morikawa get to the finish line) but the 59 year old yorkshire england native is not interested in relocating to the united states again...interesting to note that foster loves the euro team at the ryder cup & would never caddie for morikawa this september at bethpage black so the caddie musical chairs isn't done yet



kk limbhaust is collin's best friend & they worked effortlessly together in detroit with low key on the same page decision making (shocky loved seeing the stubborn azz collin allowing the elite putting kk read some of his putts)...they both graduated from the haas biz school like des, hagy, weaver & the shockster and share many common interests such as gaming (cal's monster class is a judgement free zone, haha)...but right now kk is tryna to earn his korn ferry tour card again for 2026 despite currently being ranked #155, it's gonna be an uphill battle...right now there are 10 korn ferry tournaments left in the season which includes the playoffs & limbhaust is competing this week at tpc colorado & we're gonna track this quest

if kk (who in shocky's honest opinion lacks the distance/clubhead speed to compete on the pga tour, he's 140th outta 155 players in current driving distance on the kf tour at 288 yards) loses his korn ferry tour card he will have a decision to make, either go play (returning to thailand) on the asian tour on shorter courses in front of 500+ fans for relatively small purses or caddie for his best friend on golf's largest stages around the world & earn millions of dollars over time while buying/building his dream home in las vegas??

yeah chemistry is rare & the key to winning a 3rd major championship!!

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/55YJBVFQmU
alex, let's be real here, 4.0 gpa at newport harbor high school/berkeley grad allison just married rickie (whose basically just a lower gpa version of shocky) & has had 2 daughters with him in an absolutely pathetic attempt to make me jealous

whatever



smokeshow brunette ponytails r triggering (except on horsey horses)#

---

We all married-up including Fowler.

Gotta question the Scottish dude's judgment about going after a guy that has somewhere between 5 to 10 inches and 100 lbs. on him. But coming back for more after being thrown into the lakeside and clearly getting your butt kicked is really, really low IQ. Let the guys play though and move on. Peace, out.

Work > words 💪#GoBears pic.twitter.com/F4HJAIg1Fc

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) July 9, 2025

real talk: unlike the first 8 years of the wilcox era cal's MONSTER offensive line will not be undersized this fall getting pushed backwards at the line of scrimmage, every trench worker in the playing rotation will be 315+ lbs of athletic quick twitch muscle (or otherwise they gonna be standing next to meeks on the sidelines not doing ****)

bet

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/CQ6pLcgArQx
dwm, both the 4.4 gpa devin brown (2 years of eligibility) & the 3.75 gpa jaron keawe sagapolutele (4 years of eligibility) got the smarts, height, length, arm strength & leadership skillz to potentially become the next 3.7 gpa stinson beach high school grad standout to lead the california golden bears with NFL upside during the 2025 season

devin got the vast majority of 1st string reps during spring ball but did NOT perform at a high enough performance level to clearly win the job from the early high school entrant jaron...brown attempted 48 passes during his 2 seasons as a buckeye with an average completion yardage of 6 yards (he did not get the opportunity to gain experience throwing the ball vertically downfield) in blow out qb2 duties

there should be a 100% wide open competition starting august 1st to determine who wins the qb1 job at oregon state...shocky trusts rolo & harsin to make the right choice with hopefully wilcox further afar in this critical decision

---

𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗔𝗖𝗖 𝗞𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗲𝘀: 𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭

🎙️ https://t.co/YhJlAwB5Lb pic.twitter.com/r07ieyMJMj

— ACC Football (@ACCFootball) July 10, 2025

dwm, BOTH quarterbacks invited to acc media day in charlotte, this is conclusive proof that the qb1 battle in berkeley is still up for grabs between 2 high skillz leaders who got near zero collegiate gameday playing experience

the only thing that's 100% clear is that doms got good earrings or something

https://instagr.am/p/DLvGRoCowag
fun fact: bears r NOT dumb azzs: aidan got a 4.0 gpa, cade got a 3.85 gpa, jaron got a 3.75 gpa & devin got a 4.4 gpa in high school

Over the wall 👀#GenesisScottishOpen | #RolexSeries pic.twitter.com/rw2jrpE1YB

— DP World Tour (@DPWorldTour) July 10, 2025

2025 scottish open at the renaissance club: 1st round update

ben an (67, tied for 14th): ben is leading the field in strokes gained around the greens in a dazzling 5 birdie round...made 2 bogeys (just like collin) on the brutal 7th (plays as a par 5 for the members, not a par 4 like in the tournament) thru 9th hole stretch in the round, gotta clean that up tomorrow...ben got the game to win in east lothian this week!!

collin morikawa (68, tied for 33rd): collin missed an uncharacteristic 6 fairways (with a symmetrical 3 on the front nine & 3 on the back nine), all of them non synched up spinny flares lost to the right of the fairways...also left too many putts just short of the lip, gotta stay aggressive on almost all putts with the greens stimping at only 10+ which is typical for links golf...morikawa (who grew up putting slow greens in so cal at chevy chase in glendale) won his 2 majors on relatively slow greens at harding park & royal st georges, this week's greens are not oakmont/augusta national lightning fast

292 yards ➡️ 6 feet ➡️ eagle

Collin Morikawa making the 600-yard third look easy. #GenesisScottishOpen | #RolexSeries pic.twitter.com/GlaajcyO7G

— DP World Tour (@DPWorldTour) July 10, 2025

michael kim (69, tied for 49th): michael shot in the sixties thx to a hole out eagle 2 from 146 yards coastal par 13th hole despite the WORST putting round of his life since he wuz 8 years old making only 27 feet of putts in 18 holes (u can do the math)...yeah michael is gonna make $5,000,000+ this year cuz he still gets **** done even when he don't got all facets of his game on point, tomorrow he's gonna roll the rock for sure!!

It's the return of The Green Room this week 👀

Social thread specialist, @Mike_kim714 stepped into The Green Room after his first round today, listen to what he had to say👇#GenesisScottishOpen | #RolexSeries pic.twitter.com/GaDiz1A7n1

— DP World Tour (@DPWorldTour) July 10, 2025

2025 pga alternate field tournament in louisville: 1st round update

james hahn (73, tied for 131st): good news: made 92 feet of putts...bad news: missed 8 greens in regulation

2025 korn ferry tour event at tpc colorado: 1st round update

kk limbhaust (77, tied for 147th): not a great start

2025 trans mississippi amateur

this prestigious national tournament is being hosted at the university of indiana pauf course which is insanely difficult & not really fun to play (the course rating from the tips is 80.2 with a slope of 155)...when shocky & slim wadie made a roadtrip playing the top dozen course in the hoosier state when we fist bumped after holing out on the 18th green we both said at the same time "we don't need to walk a 2nd 18 here this afternoon" & instead stuffed our faces at our beloved steak n' shake (there's one on every corner in the midwest, the spaghetti with zesty sauce chili mac coupled with a chocolate milkshake is the monster move)

michael weaver (70, 69 & 70, tied for 13th): weav is playing GREAT golf right now!!...michael got us amateur final qualifying at ruby hills next monday

daniel heo (72 & 74, missed cut): beneficial prep for next monday's us amateur final qualifying at rancho santa fe with teammate sihao cong

xihuan chang (74 & 74, missed cut): good learning experience for the incoming true freshman

charlie berridge (71 & 78, missed cut): terrific opening round

𝗔𝗹𝗹-𝗔𝗖𝗖 𝗔𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 🤝

Congrats to Charlie Berridge, Tony Chen & Sihao Cong for earning spots on the 2024-25 All-ACC Academic Men’s Golf Team!#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lb0ODrqTk0

— Cal Men's Golf (@CalMensGolf) July 8, 2025

Shocky1 said:

---

real talk: unlike the first 7 years of the wilcox era cal's MONSTER offensive line will not be undersized this fall getting pushed backwards at the line of scrimmage, every trench worker in the playing rotation will be 315+ lbs of athletic quick twitch muscle (or otherwise they gonna be standing next to meeks on the sidelines not doing ****)

---

This is year 9 of Wilcox. I know you don't mean to imply the OL was good last year in year 8.

https://instagr.am/p/DLSNDSDMlYQ
^ whoops, edited to fix correction

https://instagr.am/p/DCvDxQzSXUw

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/Cyj6jiNI-7-
oregon state beavers offense scouting report:

the season opener against osu is gonna be the most dangerous offense cal is gonna play during the 4 non conference games, this battle could definitely get away from the bears if guys don't develop their skills/build their bodies this summer in berkeley

qb1: duke transfer maalik murphy selfishly quit on his teammates just like nando & ucla's new qb1 but he's a very TALENTED downfield vertical threat who passed for an elite 2933 yards with 26 touchdowns/12 interceptions against strong acc competition last fall (those are nfl prospect level stats)...massive upgrade for the beavs vs the garbage time qbs that travelled to berkeley last fall, only good news here is that murphy is not a threat to take off running the ball when things break down in the pocket

rb1: anthony hankerson is a relentless human bowling ball at 5'8" 203 lbs with a powerful low center of gravity, hanky rushed for 1082 yards last season...he might get worn down during the season but he's gonna be 100% ready to give & take punches in the season opener

wr1: trent walker caught an unreal 81 balls for 901 yards despite lousy qb play, will the inexperienced TAKERS be ready to live up to the room's nfl pedigree standards??

te1: miami transfer riley williams is a +1 athletic threat replacing the strong but slow former bear jermaine terry (signed as a free agent with the new york giants)

o-line: all american joshua gray is thankfully gone after 17 years in corvallis, the rebuilt patch work o-line could be vulnerable to a more attacking bears defense play calling with blitzes thru the gaps

yeah shocky never liked the scheduling of a away & home game series against a bitter old pac 12 foe that will be playing in an electric sold out reser stadium with the chainshow noise firing up a wildly angry beavers nation

if the bears needed to play a roadie against a mid major, a game in the university of calveston's targeted recruiting territory in texas should've been scheduled (not the northwest)...competent athletic directors have relationships with other ads & the ability to horse trade games in order to construct the best possible schedule, that obviously did not happen

but the 2025 scheduling is water under the bridge, a loss would basically crush any program energy/momentum & the 2025 california golden bears season could be basically over after the game on saturday august 30th...those pointing at last year's 44-7 blowout at memorial stadium are naive as **** & not comprehending the beavers reworked offense, the bears losing 4 nfl drafted players on defense & the fired up corvallis atmosphere (this is kinda like the beavs national championship game)

and that's why any bear that leaves berkeley/goes home for anything more than a long weekend between now & the start of fall camp in early august is basically telling everybody that they really don't give 2 *****

WARNING: football is a violent sport & if ur body isn't built up thru the s&c program this **** is not gonna end well

---

oregon state quarterback update: gevani moccoy has transferred to temple, the undersized moxy competitor wuz the best qb on the field at memorial stadium 2 seasons ago during the cal vs idaho preseason game

the beavs qb2 is now missouri transfer gabarri johnson who like sam jackson v is a +1 athletic playmaker with his legs but can't throw accurate balls into tight passing windows

I know how you feel @JustinThomas34. I'll never forget finding this #note in my staff bag when my longtime caddie Ernesto and I finally parted ways. pic.twitter.com/0ifrtr2uGe

— Club Pro Guy (@ClubProGuy) April 3, 2024

2025 scottish open at the renaissance club: 2nd round update

michael kim (67, tied for 27th): michael, as one of the best putters on planet earth (which in part can be attributed to ur remarkable ability to correctly read/decipher green breaks) the fact that you made only 50 feet in putts today after an abysmal 27 feet yesterday yet are still in a solid place on the leaderboard suggests that if u can get the rock rolling a super low score may be in the cards tomorrow!!...maybe go hit some practice putts at the north berwick children's putting course (u can see it out the window of ur ocean marine hotel room) to get better acclimated to the slower links fescue green speeds

byeong hun an (72, tied for 64th): ben, fantastic job staying mentally focused/dialed in while playing the last 10 holes in 3 under par to make the cut!!

collin morikawa (76, missed the cut): collin, hoping you & kat are gonna travel to north ireland a day or two earlier to give you more time to familiarize urself with the quirky intricacies (blindness on multiple tee shots) of royal portrush...you cannot strategically figure out (to think otherwise is naive on ur part) the shot values of the world's cathedrals of golf with non linear formulaic designs (it's no surprise to the monster that you thrive on nicklaus designed vanilla modern courses) like oakmont (where u were literally straight up guessing on ur putting reads) or the 2026 us open venue shinnecock hills or 2026 pga championship aronomink (u need to visit them before the tournaments like tiger did back in the day scouting out the courses hosting majors)...and yeah just ******* putt off the green like aaberg & couvra who rolled their balls with their putters a couple of feet away for simple birdie 4s on the par 5 16th hole while you did ur dumb azz fairway wood fiasco "putt" which led to a redunkulous bogey 6 from the same spot as them

2025 pga alternative field tournament in louisville: 2nd round update

james hahn (67, tied for 40th): CONGRATS on making the cut in the not really cold kentucky rain james!!



2025 korn ferry tour event at tpc colorado: 2nd round update

kk limbhaust (+7 thru 26 holes, tied for 146th, gonna miss cut)

2025 trans mississippi amateur: 4th round update

michael weaver (73, tied for 15th)

GOOD LUCK to michael weaver, daniel heo, sihao cong & charlie berridge in next monday's final qualifying for the 2025 us amateur, hopefully our bears will advance to join incoming freshman xihuan chang at the tournament to be staged at the olympic club lake & ocean courses this august!!

https://instagr.am/p/DFbTKh6ON6N
and yeah don't forget to wave or something at the crowds on golf's largest stages!!

https://instagr.am/p/DHpB1qUM2_E
boston college eagles offense scouting report:

the acc season opener is gonna be further afar across the country on saturday september 27th against a blue collar physical well coached bill o'brien team (7-6 last season with a 20-15 loss to nebraska in the very cool pinstripe bowl in yankee stadium) that gotta lotta question marks in their personnel which is kinda typical of college football these days

qb1: divise & talented tommy castellanos left town on the way to tallahassee kinda like caca mendoza by quitting on his teammates during the season, the leading qb1 contender is grad transfer sr grayson james who passed for a modest 1202 yards last season including 301 yards against the cornhuskers in the bowl game after getting the keys to the offense with alabama transfer dylan lonergan showing upside during spring ball

rb1: leading rusher with 744 yards kyle robichaux signed with the detroit lions as a free agent, this fall it will likely be a running back committee room kinda like the bears until someone shows out on gamedays

wr1: dangerous wideout threat & leading/highly productive receiver lewis bond (67 receptions for 689 yards) returns & will need to be bracketed at all times

te1: the starting tight end will be jeremiah franklin who caught 27 passes for 311 yards last season

o-line: a lotta new moving parts kinda like them california golden bears, shocky is gonna ride with his brah famika & our new cal's MONSTER offensive line mandate of every o-lineman in the playing rotation weighing a minimum of 315+ lbs

monster weeklong roadtrip: shocky & slim wadie will fly from the desert to the east coastie & do the hang with daughter taylor in nyc for a couple of nites, then we'll all load up in an avis suv for a round or two in the hamptons, then take the ferry from orient point long island to new london connecticut on the way to rounds at shocky's beloved myopia hunt & the country club of brookline and then dinner in the back bay with an old yoga friend...and yeah hopefully a bears victory in beantown too!!

https://instagr.am/p/DHcI4tWulK4
https://soundcloud.com/the-tribe-akashic/keep-me-company-feat-master-wendu-tae-haru?in=jay-donais%2Fsets%2Ftribe
keep me company (in the back bay)#

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DHpB1qUM2_E
boston college eagles offense scouting report:

the acc season opener is gonna be further afar across the country on saturday september 27th against a blue collar physical well coached bill o'brien team (7-6 last season with a 20-15 loss to nebraska in the very cool pinstripe bowl in yankee stadium) that gotta lotta question marks in their personnel which is kinda typical of college football these days

qb1: divise & talented tommy castellanos left town on the way to tallahassee kinda like caca mendoza by quitting on his teammates during the season, the leading qb1 contender is grad transfer sr grayson james who passed for a modest 1202 yards last season including 301 yards against the cornhuskers in the bowl game after getting the keys to the offense with alabama transfer dylan lonergan showing upside during spring ball

rb1: leading rusher with 744 yards kyle robichaux signed with the detroit lions as a free agent, this fall it will likely be a running back committee room kinda like the bears until someone shows out on gamedays

wr1: dangerous wideout threat & leading/highly productive receiver lewis bond (67 receptions for 689 yards) returns & will need to be bracketed at all times

te1: the starting tight end will be jeremiah franklin who caught 27 passes for 311 yards last season

o-line: a lotta new moving parts kinda like them california golden bears, shocky is gonna ride with his brah famika & our new cal's MONSTER offensive line mandate of every o-lineman in the playing rotation weighing a minimum of 315+ lbs

monster weeklong roadtrip: shocky & slim wadie will fly from the desert to the east coastie & do the hang with daughter taylor in nyc for a couple of nites, then we'll all load up in an avis suv for a round or two in the hamptons, then take the ferry from orient point long island to new london connecticut on the way to rounds at shocky's beloved myopia hunt & the country club of brookline and then dinner in the back bay with an old yoga friend...and yeah hopefully a bears victory in beantown too!!

https://instagr.am/p/DHcI4tWulK4
https://soundcloud.com/the-tribe-akashic/keep-me-company-feat-master-wendu-tae-haru?in=jay-donais%2Fsets%2Ftribe
keep me company (in the back bay)#

---

I'll be there for this one!

Go Bears Forever

Justin Wilcox FIRED UP pic.twitter.com/5J9BQux3Fc

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) September 7, 2024

goldy, that's awesome ur gonna be celebrating the MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL this september in beantown!!

wut other activities r u gonna include on this roadtrip??...i dunno maybe we could rob a wawa together or something??



honestly traveling to bears football games that are further afar is one of life's greatest experiences, the postgame celebrations at both auburn & winston-salem last season are memories that will be cherished for a long time by the monster

it's kinda interesting that the most negative/least interesting (and same repetitive messaging) posters on this board like bobo (got the 1 trick wonder on ignore) never actually attend any road games (or even home games at memorial stadium) which makes me wonder if there's a correlation between being too poor as **** to attend bears games & acting like eeyore 24/7/365 which repels people away from them??



anyways this fall's 6 gameday roadies to corvallis, san diego, boston, blacksburg, louisville & palo alto promise to be FUN adventures!!

let's ******* go (with premium 91 in our tanks)!!!!!!

WILD: The Canadian Football League has an INSANE RULE…

A missed field goal that goes through the end zone is a point.

If it is a tie game, a missed field goal can WIN THE GAME FOR YOU.

Absurd 😳😳😳pic.twitter.com/CeXkVm4NLY

— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) July 12, 2025

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE kicking update:

apparently the reason longwell/wilcox/cherrington ran off ice in his veins laser accurate mateen bhaghani is because they thought them california golden bears wuz joining the cfl & NOT the acc

it all makes sense now

in michael frisina we trust#

😲🏌️“That went minus one yard bro!”

pic.twitter.com/sv2VmxzYmu

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) July 10, 2025

^ recent round of golf involving the cal men's golf team & cade uluave tryna walk on, yeah u need a lotta clubhead SPEED to be a california golden bear!!

2025 scottish open at the renaissance club: 3rd round update

michael kim (70, tied for 28th): another mediocre performance on the greens by his standards for the usually elite putter with only 50 feet in holed putts...monster prediction: tomorrow michael's putter is gonna be en fuego!!

ben an (76, 79th, last place for those making the cut): real talk: not a lotta great korean bbq joints in east lothian scotland

2025 pga alternative field tournament in louisville: 3rd round update

james hahn (73, tied for 54th): 43 year old hahn can still full send it with an average driving distance of 332 yards this week but he's gonna really get PAID when he turns 50 & competes on the champions tour

2025 celebrity tournament at edgewood tahoe: don't try to fool/**** with aaron rodgers

Fan fails Aaron Rodgers’s memory test 😅 #accgolf #steelers pic.twitter.com/JivDqvXGbQ

— Gilberto Manzano (@GManzano24) July 10, 2025

🚨⛳️🥊 #SORRY — The golfer who got tossed into the pond during the slow play altercation has released an apology video.

“Played 36 holes of golf, we drank way too much and my mouth ran faster than my brain.”

(Via: trevor.ogilvie.94/IG) pic.twitter.com/ykFolo54cZ

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) July 12, 2025

canadians r funny, eh (pow, pow, pow)#

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/CuZfkfIN-K7
shocky's ireland top 10:

1) royal county down: front nine is arguably the best 9 holes in golf on planet earth, only criticism is the extreme level of difficulty

2) ballybunion: a rollicking adventure alongside the irish sea, so sublime like your favorite song

3) lahinch: mackenzie masterpiece, home of the dell hole, a blind par 3 with the punchbowl green set in a valley (shot is aimed over a white rock on a hillside)

4) royal portrush: hopefully the british open will return again to northern ireland after their last open's attendance records exceeding expectations...like many links courses, several blind shots

5) carne: scruffy in its conditioning but one of the most fun golf experiences in the world with some of the highest sand dunes imaginable

6) portmarnock: this dublin gem is charming with her low key timeless beauty makes u wanna kiss her

7) the island: not visited by the tourist golf tour luxury buses, this underrated links rivals kinda nearby portmarnock

8) st patricks: the new tom doak designed modern masterpiece got way more undulating greens than all of the irish classic courses

9) county sligo: rugged golf in a natural landscape that is exhilarating

10) county louth: see above

11) old head: arguably the biggest wasted architecture site in golf, the 1000 foot cliffs on 3 sides (course is on a peninsula) deserves a better design...not for those with vertigo who are uncomfortable leaning over the edge of the golden gate bridge

adare manor & the k club are to be avoided at all costs unless ur a stupid rich american, don't be a dumb azz

---

https://instagr.am/p/DJWlQOKv_s_
really BAD morikawa news:

shocky has confirmed that collin has NEVER played next week's 2025 british open venue royal portrush

with its multiple blind shots off the teebox & the vagaries of reading greens on fescue links courses, the allegedly smart haas biz ad grad has not done his advance HOMEWORK instead naively thinking he's gonna figure out all of its hole strategies in a couple of practice rounds

how did this no advance HOMEWORK strategy work at oakmont??

morikawa wuz literally guessing on the majority of his putt reads in making only 1 putt over 11 feet during 72 holes & his start/finish line on the uphill par 4 9th hole revealed his inexperience (u gotta aim it dangerously close to the ditch down the left side) to avoid missing the tee ball in the right rough like collin did during all 4 rounds in playing this hole well over par during the us open

if collin wuz more like tiger who made advance scouting trips to future majors venues, morikawa would take kat to new york city for a couple of FUN nites after this september's ryder cup on long island & then schedule (shocky will coordinate tee times if necessary) low key mid week golf rounds a couple days later at 2026 us open site shinnecock hills in the hamptons & then 2026 pga championship site aronomink in philly

collin's major count is gonna increase when he quits being such a know it all dumb azz!!

Well Done @DruPxli7 @ChrisVic1112 @MAOkwura (2x winner)
For winning the Week 6 Iron Bear Belt!!!#SmartandTough pic.twitter.com/VolxcBRGdT

— Jason Novak (@Coachjasonnovak) July 11, 2025

look, congrats to michael anthony-okwura but the zero Iron Bear Belt awards/recognition this week for cal's MONSTER offensive line which needs to be a 315+ lbs playing rotation this fall is kinda concerning

r these guys ******* around & practicing field goals or something instead of building up their bodies this summer??

but then again it's understandable after last season's ****show kicking gamedays that everybody on planet earth thinks that they could do a better job than the clownshow in berkeley

https://instagr.am/p/C4gVusfvZdJ
anyways we're all gonna find out when the fall o-line body weight updates are released in a couple of weeks...

Back at Edison HS in Huntington Beach for one of the best events of the summer. Checking out Cal cornerback commit Jayden Crowder first today at Battle at the Beach @CalBearsOn3 pic.twitter.com/0A6mYrHjUW

— Matt Moreno (@MattRMoreno) July 12, 2025

2026 3.4 gpa quick twitch lockdown corner/nickel#

https://instagr.am/p/DKKgnvJpqnj
some sketch dumb azz uneducated soccer player tryna flip becky g in su carro

miami (3000 miles differential for gameday travel for la familia) tryna flip delasalle's cal commit nemyah telona

stanford tryna flip vanderbilt qb commit from riordan michael mitchell jr (moms a berkeley grad)

as the world turns#

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

2025 scottish open at the renaissance club: 4th round update

michael kim (70, tied for 34th): good tournament despite a very uncharacteristic sorry azz putting week averaging only 46 feet in made putts per round (there are 18 holes in golf, u can do the math brah)

Thoughts from Scottish:
-Links golf is great. Renaissance gets a lot of hate which I get but it’s still a good course.
-Justin Rose played really well Sunday and was fun to watch. He loves hitting it super straight (no curvature) and when it’s clicking, it’s really good.…

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) July 14, 2025

ben an (73, 79th-last place for those making the cut): missed 30 fairways in regulation this week, gotta tighten up the driver dispersion before royal portrush's angry rough

2025 pga alternative field tournament in louisville: 4th round update

james hahn (70, 49th): james, u gotta work on ur bunker play, getting it up & down outta the sand 5 outta 11 times this week is great if ur cade uluave but no bueno if ur a pga pro

next week's 2025 british open: collin morikawa, michael kim, byeong ben an & sampson zheng will be representing the #1 ranked public university in the world in northern ireland at the captivating royal portrush



max did not qualify this year & is homa (haha, shocky make joke) in scottsdale changing poopy diapers or something...now that max is off twitter (feel u brah, shocky gotta flip phone) maybe he should get a new hobby like cooking or perhaps writing that long neglected berkeley final thesis paper (to set a good example unlike john for cam on the importance of completing ur quests in life)

fun fact: the weather in ireland is almost always colder with significantly higher wind velocities than scotland

keys to scoring: avoiding all doomsday crater death fairways bunkers, controlling the trajectories of shots/flights & successfully putting (with ur ******* putter, NOT a fairway wood collin) from the deep hollows off the greens are the keys to scoring at portrush!!

and yeah it's really important to keep adjusting (multiple times during the round) ur ponytail to ensure it don't block ur visibility while on the links

golf carts r for losers#

Shocky1 said:

---

𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 your new Co-Athletic Directors! 🐻#GoBears pic.twitter.com/lB0poamoB0

— Cal Athletics (@CalAthletics) July 3, 2025

cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE: meet the worthless bureaucratic ****tards

listening to these 2 unlikeable anti football/basketball agenda dumb azzs with degrees from mediocre skools talk about espn gameday being a highlight of their careers is just straight up lying & tryna rebrand themselves as advocates for football now that the con artist isn't there to protect them anymore

jay larson

*****the architect behind misappropriating money from football & men's excellence in basketball donations to other agendas without notifying donors

*****the catalyst for the zoom call self reporting violation which resulted in multiple football staffers being suspended

*****recently tried to significantly reduce the daily food stipends for football players which would have basically wiped out the nutrition program & effectively terminated the football program...larsons wuz overriden by lyons & rivera and this wuz the final straw that resulted in the chancellor fully turning the keys over to the fb gm

*****like knowlton has shown no interesting in building/fundraising the critically needed men's & women's basketball practice facility, cal basketball are gonna continue to be underachieving programs with poor attendance until there's a legit plan for shovels in the ground that can be shared with cal's monster class level recruits/prospects with nba/wnba ambitions

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****abysmal leadership of FAILING men's athletic programs including basketball, baseball, soccer & cross country/track & field

jennifer simon o'neil

*****enabled for years teri mckeever to engage is racist & abusive behavior that resulted in multiple women's swimmers having suicidal iterations...let's be very clear about this, jennifer simon-o'neil is evil as **** and the unfunded student athlete lawsuits has the potential to be a financial tsunami

*****the co lobbyist for nil dollars to be split 50/50 between men's & women's sports in order to be in "compliance" with title ix despite the fact that there is no other collegiate institution that shares that interpretation

*****demanded that the women's basketball budget be the same as the men's basketball program, again a practice not replicated anywhere else on planet earth

*****abysmal leadership of women's athletic programs:

women's basketball: failed to measurably increase attendance despite this past season's generational squad, facilitated the hiring of a head coach who is an introvert that cannot raise nil funds & the hiring of an unqualified marketing director in markeisha everrett

women's softball: hired a mentally unstable head coach, last year's entire starting line up including the pitching staff is now out of eligibility or in the transfer portal as a result of the the crazy town bus crashing in strawberry canyon

women's soccer: like swimming former berkeley student athletes filing complaints re: coaching staff abuse/bullying
https://www.ktvu.com/news/more-athletes-describe-years-of-mistreatment-by-cal-soccer-coach

women's gymnastics: head coaches left to clemson & roster retention under attack, program in upheaval

women's volleyball: 15-17 record last season & 7-13 in acc play

women's field hockey: 7-10 record last season & 1-6 in acc play

women's lacrosse: 6-10 record last season & 0-9 in acc play

women's track & field: tied for 12th place in the acc indoor championship last season

women's cross country: 15th place in the acc tournament last season

women's sand volleyball: there's no critically needed dedicated basketball practice facility in berkeley but o'neil is spearheading a new sand volleyball facility built for the maybe 100+ fans

in a performance based organization that held its highest ranking employees accountable with specific metrics both larson & simon-o'neil would already be fired for absolute FAILING PERFORMANCES

the good news is that both will be redundantly unnecessary in 12 months from now if a basketball general manager is hired along the same lines of responsibility as ron rivera for football

getting rid of jim knowlton (which involved a negotiated "retirement" severance that involved attorneys on both sides) & cfo tom lowry (who once tole me on a zoom call that he wuz tired of the football program's financial "demands," his replacement is the very capable berkeley grad sierra achin-cryns) is clearing a path to terminate both jay & jenny

---

unlike the worthless bureaucratic ****tards duo of jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil who despite both collecting paychecks from the cal athletic department for a decade plus got no specifics on anything (other than that they are looking forward to working with ron rivera when the reality is that everybody associated with the cal football is fully aware of them working against the program & holds them in contempt)

on the other hand washington athletic director pat chun got a financial plan of action that he clearly articulates that centers around football & basketball:

nugget: we've been very focused on all of our revenues streams...that's why the mmr (learfield) deal was so important...that's why ticket sales are so important

nugget: (on why non revenue sports won't be participating in revenue sharing): i look at it from a different lens,...it's no secret we need to be competitive in football...we've had to resize NOTE: washington runs 22 sports programs vs the 30 programs run by cal

nugget: (on the $60,000,000 basketball practice facility renovations): basketball should open sometime this fall, it's definitely on schedule, $60 mill project...the sports world has changed, the types of players that we have now on both the men's and women's teams, they are gym rats...i can walk in here on monday morning at 7:30 am men's and women's shooting on their own just to get shots up NOTE: this would be impossible in berkeley with the unavailability of the rsf gold gym due to overscheduling...the work that it takes to get to the highest levels, we've recruited young men and women that have embraced that, so that facility is more important than it's ever been

nugget: i believe over 95% of our revenues are from the football contract and football ticket sales...i think there's a lot of implications on how these dollars are spent but we understand it

nugget: women's basketball is a huge opportunity for ticket sales...we just have to be conscientious of finding new dollars for us NOTE: this is never gonna happen with the unqualified & lazy azz markeisha everrett in charge of branding/marketing/ticket sales of any sport in berkeley

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of the owner of the bearinsider.com

Ok, here you go. To the person giving constant Cal observations and information, particularly on Cal golfers you can't get anywhere else, keep it up Shocky! By the way, do you have a good relationship with Collin or does he take your criticisms of him personally?

Free Shocky!

In other important matters, what is the road trip golf schedule on the east coast for you and Slim? Boston and Louisville are easy guesses, where in Blacksburg? Olde farm?

Imagine if back in 2018 Cal (Carol Christ) had hired Pat Chun instead of Jim Knowlton? I think everything would be different.

^ imagine if back in the day if leidy had a 4.28 gpa instead of a 2.73 gpa at havana high school & then wuz shocky's roommate at berkeley...i think everything would be different (too bad the loser she's dating now *partner in the toca madera brand can't get a patio table at nobu malibu)

what*******ever

https://instagr.am/p/Cs4a9Vxpr1H

davey, collin is mostly a big boy & usually don't cry about shocky's simple steps/corrective actions he must take in order to win a 3rd major championship, got it?

but keep in mind that collin & shocky are basically hopa/hopa (raised by tiger moms) and the same height & weight, both got 4.0 gpas & graduated from the haas biz school, we both married girls named kat that graduated from academically mediocre schools (asu & pepperdine), both smile a lot & are foodies (no panda express dogfood) and are advocates for them rescue doggy dogs that now reside in the desert (north scottsdale & las vegas)....the only real difference is that collin is better than shocky in golf & shocky is better than collin in yoga, pretty much a wash, rite??

the good news is that michael kim is getting a lotta FREE **** at the 2025 british open from the royal & ancient plus they are apparently finally serving miso soup with extra tofu, beef chow fun with green onions & korean bbq dishes in player hospitality instead of just deep fried battered heartattack fish n chips for white people at royal portrush!!

and yeah the iconic par 3 "calamity" 16th hole might be toughest par 3 in the british isles (missing right of the green is kinda like watching a longwell coached special teams unit kick a field goal in the final minute of a close game, it's an absolute ******* ****show)!!

Back nine:
-I played the back nine today once the rain stopped.
-Overall… it’s a really tough course with the south wind we got today. A lot of the trouble is towards that south side. There’s not a whole lot of playability from the rough here unless you get pretty lucky… pic.twitter.com/6iuJ7DEOj5

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) July 14, 2025

tough day in 2025 us amateur final qualifying: in new york at the quirky whippoorwill charlie berridge shot a solid 69 but will not advance...in so cal at rancho santa fe (within driving distance of legoland) daniel heo shot a 74 & sihao cong shot a 76 and will not advance to the olympic club next month...in nor cal at ruby hills in pleasanton michael weaver (former finalist in the us am at cherry hills back in the day) battled liked a a bear on antibiotic steroids but ultimately shot a 70 & barely missed advancing...right now it looks like incoming freshman xihuan chang will be the lone bear at the o-club in the 2025 amateur championship

and yeah gabi isn't going nowhere until she acts more "ladylike" & quits swearing and **** like that, mother******

https://instagr.am/p/C2qYU6zvMHV

Shocky1 said:

---

[url=https://instagr.am/p/CurYmsdukjf
so slim wadie & me got the 1st tee time at the new gil hanse fields ranch east course at pga frisco, we wanna play quickly with our terrific caddie javier from the dominican republic so ima telling the starter we don't wanna play with the other 2 guys on the tee sheet (we got a long day with an afternoon walking round on the new west course designed by former fazio design associate beau welling, shocky prefers twosomes)

and so then these 2 guys start walking towards us off the practice putting green & they realize the monster is tryna dump their sorry azzs

schulzie then notices these guys got cal gear on & one of them walks up to say "hey shocky, are you trying to get rid of us?"

ruh roh

anyways me & slim wadie meet true california golden bears brian (greenville, sc) & deano (orange county, former bears water polo player) & we end up enjoying a really fun walking round with lotta laughs & lunch afterwards...they've been doing cal football road game roadtrips together forever, we're all excited for tomorrow's debut of sam jackson

the east course is a very challenging strategic design but honestly the golfing experience is mitigated by the seemingly thousands of ugly azz tract homes being built surrounding the property...it's not a pure golfing experience & not a legit usa top 100 course despite the future ryder cup hype

weather here is balmy warm, we went swimming late tonite under clear skies, the heat should NOT affect the outcome of tomorrow afternoon's football game in denton

---

wut up ursa?

have u & ur brah got ur 2025 cal football roadies figured out yet??...u 2 are a lotta FUN tho deano's man crush foto on his phone of freddie couples drinking coffee in newport beach is kinda disturbing

u will appreciate this, on last year's roadtrip prior to the alabama game, when shocky & slim wadie went to check in at the pro shop at shoal creek in alabama in the late afternoon after being 1st out as a twosome that morning at peachtree (the closest architecturally comparable course to augusta national on planet earth) near atlanta when the director of golf tells us we're paired with a member twosome mark turns to me & asks "do you want to check to make sure they're not cal guys before you dump them??"

haha, like's there's anybody in the deep south that gotta cal, stanford or ivy league degree!!

the current 2025 golf/bears gamedays roadtrip plans are as follows:

oregon state: the bandon resort & maybe waverley by the williamette river in portland

san diego state: goat hill for sure (35 bucks for locals to walk on weekdays), the rustic canyon of legoland/san diego zoo

boston college: slim wadie & schulzie doing the hang with my daughter taylor in her nyc west village home, then take her with us to friar's head, the country club of brookline & the intergaltical visually stunning myopia hunt (see foto below) along with hopefully dinner in the back bay with an old yoga brah



virginia tech: agreed olde farm is a sleeper gem with immaculate conditioning but my favorite course in virginia is kinloch in richmond which got multiple fairway options on several holes

louisville: architecturally kentucky is a golf wasteland & the vapid nicklaus designed valhalla got 100 foot transformers running thru the middle of the property that are never shown on tv during the pga championship...the cards game may be a 24 hour paramilitary operation conducted at warp speed with no clubs

stanford: hopefully a nite game in palo alto so the monster can tee it up in the morning at either his old caddie (during high school & college) stomping grounds san francisco golf club or the fabulously restored cal golf club further down the i-280

brian, we both know about the MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL which can only be experienced by attending epic road game victories!!

don't tell nobody but here's a little secret, shocky literally cries moments after road game victories with tears of happiness!!

the last time shocky cried that much like a little girl in need of her boo boo comfy bear wuz when he & taylor wuz sobbing uncontrollably after watching the end of anora at the shea 14 cineplex (afterwards we went to kierland & shared a slice of linda's chocolate fudge cake & discussed why the movie affected us so profoundly in an emotional way)...this fantastic movie got under our skins & then shocky posted here that it would sweep all the oscar awards including best actress/picture (which of course it did)

our days on planet earth are finite, let's not ******* waste them, u feel me??