cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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8:41a, 10/30/25


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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:28p, 10/30/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

2026 3.6 gpa 6'1" 185 lbs dynamic wide receiver kai meza from draper corner canyon high school (same hs as devin brow & harrison taggart) gonna take an unofficial visit to berkeley on march 14th

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including arches national park)

https://instagr.am/p/C9hy6DXJnXc


wut up kai??

coach wilcox is kinda busy rite now making sure the punt & kickoff return lane blocking assessments are all LOCKED in for jacob de jesus to make explosive game breakers tonite so he tole me to tell u to plz feel free to order all the room service food u want (including the steak/lobster combo) at the claremont this weekend & just charge it to his personal account, got it??

and be sure to share all the tasty cuisine with ej (he got track SPEED like u!!) & broncs too but whatevah u do if baker tries to give u one of his welding batman trinkets or something make sure u tell him **** no in no uncertain terms, ok??...it's important to be a minimalist like the monster, material things r for losers

yeah berkeley is the 9th island, brah

shocky

https://instagr.am/p/DQAiZeujQEd
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!

WELCOME 2026 3.6 gpa kai meza to the california golden bears family!!

kai plays arguably the #1 position for immediate IMPACT talent, wideouts that got SPEED & that got the soft hands necessary to catch the ******* football (something that is currently clearly lacking now in berkeley)

utah (and arches national park) is bear territory!!#
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5:57p, 10/30/25

bears running back room depth update:

with brandon high & lj johnson banged up, true freshman anthony league got snaps in blacksburg last friday nite

all the guys in this room since the rb coach failed to build relationships with jaivian & javona thomas lack elite nfl breakaway SPEED which isn't discounting the fact that kendrick raphael is a very good back but there's zero productive depth behind kendrick

jamaal wiley has been gone from the program for a while & is back home in sugar land texas...the high school 2.75 gpa student among other things wuz struggling academically in berkeley

look if u got a sub 3.0 gpa in high school & are an academic silver bullet admissions admittee u can still earn a berkeley degree if u go to ALL ur classes & sit in the front row (which is wut marshawn lynch did back in the day en route to a 3.0 berkeley gpa which wuz actually higher than his 2.8 oakland tech gpa) and take advantage of the fantastic (and kind) athletic study center professionals led by nfl standout tarik glenn & my guy dr kasra sutudeh

but if u got a sub 3.0 gpa in high school & can't be bothered to read books & **** ur gonna flunk out (or be on the road to flunking out like nyziah hunter who is now enrolled at a non academic skool for nowledge which is a probable path to loading boxes at buc-ee's when ur 30 years old)



hair today, gone tomorrow (don't be a dumb azz)#



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com
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oskiswifeshusband
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6:05p, 10/30/25
Shocky save us
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sonofabear51
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6:06p, 10/30/25
BUMP
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Shocky1
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7:18p, 10/30/25
oskisgirlfriendisinrehabforreversecowgirladdiction, do u think it would help the fb program win more games on gamedays if all the guys got cute little secret pockets to store their gum & ****??...maybe jaron could stow away a couple of salmon onigiri's or something for a snack in the 4th quarter??

51, wut would give the bears running back room a significant ******* bump in breakaway SPEED would be for 2026 3.6 gpa penn state soft commit messiah mickens to take an official visit to the left coast & check out the cali weather/lifestyle


did shocky mention in his north carolina game report that me & my brah reese can tell u that them bears dance & cheerleading team es en fuego this season (congrats to coach toler, tell ur big brother to return to berkeley as the bears rb coach & bring the jet back home to his moms javona & a berkeley degree, ok??)??

https://instagr.am/p/CsukIi2tyZo
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HongKong_Bear
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8:43p, 10/30/25
It was disappointing to see Cal lacked any sort of cheerleading, pep squad, or even a straw hat band away at Virginia Tech last Friday. Is this the case for all ACC away football games, zero support for the team? Why is it we can't afford to send our band and cheerleaders away but other programs can afford to send theirs out to Berkeley?
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Shocky1
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9:05p, 10/30/25
^ glenn, 100% agreed, and tangentially why is chancellor lyons allowing the current co athletic ****tards (together they earn just south of $1,000,000 which is kinda like burning money at a time that berkeley needs donor support more than ever to solve it's looming existential financial challenges) jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil to post up at the bears football games??

rich's perpetuating the employment of the unlikeable ****tards (who should be replaced by berkeley grad andrew mcgraw) is honestly incomprehensible (kinda like the inexplicable complaints about shocky as an uncertified substitute yoga teacher at modern yoga)


there are a lotta people (including jaylen brown) that could help the university that are on the sidelines because of the perception that berkeley still gotta lotta worthless ******* bureaucrats that don't do **** (and that have actually worked against the football program during the last decade which has resulted in literally everybody working in memorial stadium thinking jay & jenny are full of ****)

trust me NONE of shocky's wildly successful maricopa country doggy dog rescue facility fundraising is going to shelters with michael vick as the managing director

sorry rich but protecting the most vulnerable in society (that do not have a voice re: their futures) should not extend to ur protecting human bureaucratic ****tards!!

https://instagr.am/p/DDZ5a6suzvl
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9:26p, 10/30/25

california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake classes (mr spieker not amused cuz he got worser seats):

doechii, why don't you introduce the yucky blucky fruitcakes to the class?

2027 class:

broncs baker, inside linebacker (3.6 gpa)

2026 class:

daniel mcmorris, offensive tackle (3.8 gpa)
kai meza, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ernest nunley, corner/nickel (3.25 gpa)
rocky cummings, linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tyree "reekus" sams, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
kamo'i huihui-white, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
nainoa lopes, quarterback (3.57 gpa)
kingston "lucky" schirmer, defensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
esaiah wong, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
frank fauna jr, defensive lineman (4.0 gpa)
emmanuel "ej" morgan, wide receiver/kick returner (4.3 gpa)
brady palmer, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
taimane purcell, tight end (3.9 gpa)
nemyah telona, defensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
victor santino, running back (3.0+ gpa)
elisha faamatuainu, offensive lineman (3.0+ gpa)
jaxon pyatt, linebacker (3.4 gpa)
camron brooks, edge defender (3.0+ gpa)
artem korchagin, offensive lineman (4.1 gpa)
jonathan mckinley, linebacker (4.83 gpa)
deon jackson, corner/nickel (3.0+ gpa)

2025 class (all former walk ons are now on schollys, CONGRATS!!):

jordan king, wide receiver (4.38 gpa)
alonzo esparza, quarterback (4.0 gpa)
belay brummell, quarterback (3.95 gpa)
carson perry-smith, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
jayden parker, running back (4.16 gpa)
isaac torres, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
mayze bryant, defensive back (3.5 gpa)
jordan franke, longsnapper (3.81 gpa)
dean taylor-chapman, running back (4.0 gpa)
tobey weydemuller, defensive back (3.92 gpa)
jude mclellan, outside linebacker (3.9 gpa)
nate escalada, defensive back (4.23 gpa)
michael cooley, outside linebacker (3.0 gpa)
ewan arechaederra, longsnapper (3.6 gpa)
lucas vanderlind, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
bj jones, inside linebacker (3.55 gpa)
sam bjerke, offensive lineman (3.9 gpa)
cole bosica, wide receiver (4.1 gpa)
myles reber, wide receiver (3.75 gpa)
jeffrey johnson, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jack olyphant, tight end (3.72 gpa)
rj stephens, defensive lineman (3.77 gpa)
dru polidore jr, safety (3.75 gpa)
michael kern, punter (3.4 gpa)
landon morris, tight end (3.7 gpa)
jayden dixon-veal, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
lj johnson, running back (3.7 gpa)
abram murray, kicker (4.0 gpa)
brent "paco" austin, corner/nickel (3.3 gpa)
jordan sanford, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
harrison taggart, linebacker (3.9 gpa)
chase meyer, kicker (4.3 gpa)
mark hamper, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
zae smith, defensive tackle (3.37 gpa)
daveion harley, offensive lineman (3.36 gpa)
kendrick raphael, running back (3.8 gpa)
quimari shemwell, corner/nickel back (3.0+ gpa)
brandon high jr, running back (3.3 gpa)
rino monteforte, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
tj bush, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
quaron adams, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
chris victor, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
jojo genova, offensive lineman (3.5 gpa)
erik peters, kicker (3.9 gpa)
devin brown, quarterback (4.4 gpa)
dazmin james, wide receiver (3.0 gpa)
justin hasenhuetl, interior offensive lineman (3.75 gpa)
jacob de jesus, wide receiver/kick returner (3.67 gpa)
caleb johnston, longsnapper (3.5 gpa)
simon mapa, tight end (3.47 gpa)
mason mini, tight end (3.8 gpa)
john gayer, edge defender (2.8 gpa)
jordon moko, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
jayden wayne, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
brook honoree jr, punter (3.8 gpa)
dominic ingrassia, quarterback (3.2 gpa)
jaron keawe sagapolutele, quarterback (3.75 gpa)
buom jock, inside linebacker (3.1 gpa)
leon bell, offensive tackle (3.1 gpa)
tristan dunn, safety (3.0 gpa)
lamar robinson, offensive guard (3.5 gpa)
tyson ruffins, interior offensive lineman (3.8 gpa)
lajuan owens, left tackle (3.2 gpa)
hezekiah masses, corner/nickel (2.7 gpa)
kyle cunanan, kicker (3.73 gpa)
tyson ford, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
odera okaka, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
john tofi jr, edge defender (3.8 gpa)
aiden manutai, safety (4.0 gpa)
tre' harrison, safety (4.83 gpa)
mike klisiewicz, offensive lineman (3.7 gpa)
jacob houseworth, tight end (3.25 gpa)
jae'on young, corner/nickel back (3.4 gpa)
lebron williams, defensive end (3.2 gpa)
beckham barney, inside linebacker (4.2 gpa)
anthony league, running back (3.9 gpa)
ikechukwu okafor, edge defender (3.7 gpa)
ben howard, offensive guard (3.2 gpa)
meyer swinney, hybrid wide receiver/tight end (3.75 gpa)
kaden cook, cornerback (3.4 gpa)

2024 class:

will mcdonald, left guard (3.5 gpa)
checkhsaliou fall, edge defender (3.3 gpa)
cj harris, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
serigne tounkara, edge defender (3.88 gpa)
kyion graves, wide receiver (3.3 gpa)
ryan yaites, safety (3.2 gpa)
jasiah wagoner, corner/nickel back (3.25 gpa)
tj bollers, edge defender (4.0 gpa)
corey dyches, hybrid tight end/wide receiver (3.1 gpa)
braden miller, offensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
liam johnson, inside linebacker (3.36 gpa at princeton)
khamani hudson, cornerback (3.5 gpa)
bobby engstler, punter/kicker (3.72 gpa)
jonathan "gameday" brady, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive tackle (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (2.7 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive lineman (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive lineman (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan ikaika keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu, defensive back (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (2.75 gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (2.9 gpa)
camden jones, tight end (2.8 gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)

2023 class:
barrett miller, offensive lineman (4.2 hs gpa & stanford mechancial engineering degree)
taj davis, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
king doerue, running back (3.5 gpa)
isaiah ifanse, running back (3.2 gpa at montana state)
marcus scott ii, cornerback (3.3 gpa at missouri)
tidiane "frenchy" jalloh (motivated student from france)
matthew wykoff, offensive tackle (3.75 gpa)
marquez "mojo" dortch, wide receiver (2.9 gpa)
ben finley, quarterback (4.308 gpa)
patrick mcmorris, safety (3.65 gpa)
david bird, longsnapper (4.0 gpa)
marquis montgomery, wide receiver (3.4 gpa)
martin tine, offensive tackle (2.9 gpa)
stanley mckenzie, nose tackle (3.3 gpa)
david reese, outside linebacker (3.7 gpa)
sam jackson v, quarterback (2.8 gpa)
brian hightower, wide receiver (3.2 gpa)
justin williams-thomas aka j-will, running back (4.0 gpa)
asher alberding, tight end (3.85 gpa)
jt byrne, tight end (3.75 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0 gpa)
jaivian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, offensive line (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.85 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (2.8 gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to talk after class...don't forget to take the chicken out

https://instagr.am/p/DAb8NtkBYtv
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Shocky1
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2:21a, 10/31/25



https://instagr.am/p/DQcjMNCibIm
trick or treat, smell my feet (hopefully shocky will be asked to be master teacher anton's uncertified substitute yoga teacher at today's 4:15 pm modern yoga class)!!#
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Shocky1
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3:25a, 10/31/25
https://instagr.am/p/DQawslsETto
why the **** is trevor cox riding in a golf cart at a collegiate golf tournament??

pretty sure that when trevor & his moms won the legoland t-rex mother/son putting tournament they had to walk, rite??

when shocky has played the preserve (which wuz poorly routed by fazio without tight connections between holes) he's always walked which is how the great game of golf has been played at the cathedrals of golf for the last 1000+ years, dumb **** americans will tell u it "speeds up the game" which ignores the fact that in almost exclusively walking nations such as scotland, ireland & australia the game is regularly played in sub 4 hour rounds vs the usa 5+ hour ****show cartball rounds

honestly if u need a ******* golf cart because u can't walk 18 holes (around 6 miles) briskly in under 4 hours u should probably be asking urself some serious questions about ur physical conditioning & lifestyle choices...r u drinking a daily 32 oz green juice to improve ur gut health & ensure u poop like shocky/a race horse??

https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx
don't be a dumb (or lazy as ****) azz!!



standing still in life without movement is a form of dying#
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Shocky1
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7:38a, 10/31/25
https://instagr.am/p/DQaW-LYjg_1
conversations among the virginia football program players:

"why the **** do we live in ******* charlottesville & NOT the san francisco bay area??"

shocky's honest answer: "because u got a ******* **** gpa brah!!"



shocky's poor as **** tigers moms/berkeley grad grew up in the city on the 2nd floor above a laundry in the avenues & learned to swim at garfield (ur **** get stolen) when she wuz 5 (love u moms!!)#

fun fact: ^ my tiny cute 4.0 gpa at lowell high school (arguably the most academically rigorous public high school in the united states) 1st generation college grad moms outworked the competition from the jump & used her berkeley degree to become the largest drug dealer in nor cal (ok, the executive director of pharmaceutical services for kaiser permanente) which allowed her son to graduate from stinson beach high school & later berkeley too and he's never forgotten his ******* roots!!
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:31p, 10/31/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DPFKoUHjpon
cal football recruiting update:

2026 3.8 gpa 6'6" 270 lbs +1 athletic offensive lineman daniel mcmorris from norman oklahoma is gonna officially visit the #1 ranked public university in the world this weekend for tomorrow's acc battle with duke!!

berkeley offers the best opportunity to earn future generational wealth thru nfl development with coach anae & world class academics...yeah if the boomer sooners don't make it to the nfl (as is the case with 98%+ of their disposable gladiators) a worthless football factory degree is gonna leave u ****** in the highly competitive global economy that favors berkeley, stanford & ivy league grads


daniel is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa, maybe it's time to leave home & live in the fantastic cali weather??





potential day 1 starter in berkeley (an ELITE +1 athletic that can move in space offensive tackle is the cal football program's #1 recruiting priority)!!#

KAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


welcome 2026 3.8 gpa daniel mcmorris & his bearents from norman oklahoma to the california golden bears football family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daniel turned down actionable offers from the hometown sooners, texas tech (the wealthiest nil war chest in college football) & stanford to matriculate at the #1 public university in the world

this is an ELITE +2 athlete that shocky saw on the sidelines at the duke game during the pregame warm ups on his official visit to berkeley with his family, his graceful movements kinda remind me of the 1st time shocky evah saw jaylen brown in person at a high school all star game in portland (taylor says to this day that her dad started to get misty eyed watching jb in the early warm ups, yeah diamonds are forever!!)...SPECIAL athletes move differently, got it??

this is a MASSIVE recruiting win for coach famika anae & the hardworking bears recruiting staff, if daniel can continue to add good weight while building strength before he transitions to cali next summer he gotta legitimate opportunity to be a day 1 starter like our poly brah superstars true freshmen aidan manutai (me & reese met his wonderful parents in the tunnel before the north carolina game, they proudly smiled when shocky tole them that it's just great parenting that their son gotta 4.0 gpa) & jaron keawe sagapolutele...young talent plays early in berkeley!!

let's ******* go, daniel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Shocky1
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12:47p, 10/31/25

WARNING: do NOT watch the above cut ups if u got a heart condition or something as it contains footage of epic VIOLENCE on the football field with +2 ATHLETICISM with a relentless NON STOP ******* motor!!



this **** is getting LIVE!!#
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calumnus
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:09p, 10/31/25
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/DPFKoUHjpon
cal football recruiting update:

2026 3.8 gpa 6'6" 270 lbs +1 athletic offensive lineman daniel mcmorris from norman oklahoma is gonna officially visit the #1 ranked public university in the world this weekend for tomorrow's acc battle with duke!!

berkeley offers the best opportunity to earn future generational wealth thru nfl development with coach anae & world class academics...yeah if the boomer sooners don't make it to the nfl (as is the case with 98%+ of their disposable gladiators) a worthless football factory degree is gonna leave u ****** in the highly competitive global economy that favors berkeley, stanford & ivy league grads


daniel is NOT a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa, maybe it's time to leave home & live in the fantastic cali weather??





potential day 1 starter in berkeley (an ELITE +1 athletic that can move in space offensive tackle is the cal football program's #1 recruiting priority)!!#

KAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


welcome 2026 3.8 gpa daniel mcmorris & his bearents from norman oklahoma to the california golden bears football family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daniel turned down actionable offers from the hometown sooners, texas tech (the wealthiest nil war chest in college football) & stanford to matriculate at the #1 public university in the world

this is an ELITE +2 athlete that shocky saw on the sidelines at the duke game during the pregame warm ups on his official visit to berkeley with his family, his graceful movements kinda remind me of the 1st time shocky evah saw jaylen brown in person at a high school all star game in portland (taylor says to this day that her dad started to get misty eyed watching jb in the early warm ups, yeah diamonds are forever!!)...SPECIAL athletes move differently, got it??

this is a MASSIVE recruiting win for coach famika anae & the hardworking bears recruiting staff, if daniel can continue to add good weight while building strength before he transitions to cali next summer he gotta legitimate opportunity to be a day 1 starter like our poly brah superstars true freshmen aidan manutai (me & reese met his wonderful parents in the tunnel before the north carolina game, they proudly smiled when shocky tole them that it's just great parenting that their son gotta 4.0 gpa) & jaron keawe sagapolutele...young talent plays early in berkeley!!

let's ******* go, daniel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Shocky, at 6'5" 255 I assume you want McMorris to gain weight and get to 300+ but from your description of his athleticism it sounds like he might make a great TE (or DE?) in the meantime (or beyond)? Especially in short yardage and goal line situations?
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Shocky1
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6:55p, 10/31/25
calalum, daniel's most current weight is 270 lbs & it's significant to note he gained a lotta weight between his junior and senior seasons

mcmorris got potential nfl upside (and shocky does not say this about all prospects) at offensive tackle & he's built a strong relationship with coach anae

u can't teach that kinda nasty streak in his finishing blocks, the current tackles have not shown that mentality at this time...there's no indication that mcmorris can catch a football or wants to play defensive line

this is a very SPECIAL commit, his 3.8 gpa is just another indicator of his mental discipline which is critical on an o-line that is plagued by lack of focus/dialed in motion penalties, this is a huge get for the bears!!
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HoopDreams
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7:10p, 10/31/25

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Shocky1
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8:10p, 10/31/25
https://instagr.am/p/DOUXKzDDvM3
^ reading & then taking a sleepyhead slumbertime nap in a clean room without a lotta clutter is very triggering!!

north carolina tar heels 27
syracuse orange 10

congrats to billy b on his nc tar heels (3-5) winning the acc battle of **** qbs!!

the bears travel to upstate new york in the fall of 2026, hopefully the orange don't figure out a solution to their current qb1 issues, tonite's syracuse starting qb joesph filardi completed 4 of 18 passes for 39 yards with no back up seeing the field

wowza
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Shocky1
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9:55p, 10/31/25
https://instagr.am/p/DQfSsSpklks
low gpa cavaliers r scary as **** (r the high gpa bears particularly cade uluave gonna go for the KILL??!!)#



scary fact: stay outta room 6277 at the claremont (unless ur doing the hang with a curvy brunette yoga female that u trust with ur life!!)#
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Shocky1
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1:08a, 11/1/25

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (moms cooking is tastier/healthier)#
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:54a, 11/1/25
Shocky1 said:

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island (moms cooking is tastier/healthier)#


You're kidding!?
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Shocky1
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5:52a, 11/1/25
https://instagr.am/p/DQeuIxaD9a6
^ nope, cal's qb1 jks being declared out for today's 12:45 pm kick off is negated by the fact that virginia's qb1 chandler morris went trick or treating last nite as a bi curious witch & got the **** violently knocked outta his/her already injured/disabled left shoulder after losing in a high stakes poker game in pacific heights & failing to pay his/her gambling debts

the whole world is watching to see how this play out, got it??

https://instagr.am/p/DP6wdMbj6mQ
this acc battle is a ******* toss up, witch coach is gonna fire up his guys & play to win (schematically **** up the opposing qb with violent blitzes)??



fun fact: my daughter taylor gets told all the time she looks like madison beer which is kinda weird since madison is not one of shocky's baby mamas!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ci7_-Q9pr3G
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HongKong_Bear
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6:30a, 11/1/25

Park Avenue Manhattan = Bear Territory.
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Shocky1
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6:50a, 11/1/25
glenn, that bear ^ kinda looks like it's pooping like shocky/a race horse in the big apple, it must also be drinking a daily 32 oz green juice for excellent gut health!!

https://instagr.am/p/DFk952xziWc
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Joegeo
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7:42a, 11/1/25
The injury report not making me confident in Cal!
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Shocky1
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8:23a, 11/1/25

joego, the only injury that's gonna critically impact this afternoon's game (tyson ruffins in gonna have a bounce back game today at memorial stadium with lamar robinson banged up again, tyson struggled snapping the ball in the 30s temps in blacksburg) is the severely already injured left shoulder for gutty competitor qb1 chandler morris, he wuz noticeably grimacing when throwing 20 yards outs last saturday with not his usual zip on the ball

so the #1 question mark for this acc battle between 2 evenly matched programs is whether or not a wilcox coached d is gonna VIOLENTLY KNOCK THE LIVING **** (with clean non penalty hits) outta morris or not??

if that happens & morris heads to the sidelines to sit in the injury tent, the cavs don't got an experienced qb2 & this game is over

if that don't happen, the cardiac cavs are the favorites to pull one out on the road

one thing is for sure, chandler morris got stinky poops (hot peppers, ay caramba)!!

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Shocky1
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8:57a, 11/1/25

private MONSTER message for zeke (if ur not zeke don't be reading this ****, keep ur eyes on ur own mother******* papers brah):

zeke, ur nfl draft stock is plummeting as u have been EXPOSED as a non physical defensive back that in blacksburg actually backed away from contact with the game on the line

but that's ok u only got a couple of more games left in ur life of contact football before this summer's failed tryout with the winnipeg bombers in the canadian football league before settling in as an elite ball taker in the deerfield beach tuesday nite coed flag football league!!

stfu shocky#

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Shocky1
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12:03p, 11/1/25
https://instagr.am/p/DIUnOPzSydH
fun fact: cal travel to charlottesville in the fall of 2026 & unless the ncca gives chandler morris an incomprehensible 7th year of eligibility the cavs will be breaking in a new qb1

and yeah shocky already got an invitation for early morning gameday round(s) on the fantastic FUN coore & crenshaw 10 hole short course at farmington country club near campus!!

the acc is literally the best conference on planet earth (if ur combining world class golf architecture with college football)#
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bearsandgiants
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6:06p, 11/1/25
Tried to find the old death watch hottie thread but it's gone. Surprised one hasn't been started.
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Shocky1
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6:31p, 11/1/25


virginia cavaliers 31
california golden bears 21

b&g, here u go!!


the reality of the situation is that shocky has already gone thru the unilateral termination of cal's monster class so he's already kinda cried out or something

but he's still not got nothing but mad love & respect for the hard working student athletes particularly former anchorage alaska walk on aaron hampton at the #1 ranked public university in the world, this **** will get figured out but it's not gonna happen ******* today, got it??



life is NOT linear (and our love is not always reciprocated for a variety of logical (often correctable) & sometimes incomprehensible reasons)#
^ shocky needs to write this one down for his side hustle gig of writing fortune cookies to pay bills & ****

https://instagr.am/p/DNEafouu74f
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JB was a Chieftain
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6:52p, 11/1/25
Shocks. I wasn't at Memorial but didn't sit on my stained couch all day. Nature is my recharge and spent the day with the family in your old stomping grounds on Mt. Tam. Beautiful up there and noticed Meadow Club Golf Course in the distance. Ever play there?
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Shocky1
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12:40a, 11/2/25
jb, our time with our kids is finite, glad u got to share with them the spectacular marin headlands (ur terrific foto captures mother nature's special spot on planet earth!!) & modeling for them a passion for being outdoors (agreed watching anything on a urine stained sofa is for losers) & MOVEMENT!!

yeah shocky used to caddie at the meadow club on weekends back during his stinson beach high school days & has played there many times since then (including a couple of times with member huey lewis) & luv the mike devries architectural reimagination of the alistar mackenzie quiet gem (it's just a notch below pasatiempo & the valley club of montecito)

fun fact: shocky's 1st kiss in his life (that did not involve either his moms or a doggy dog) wuz with a curvy brunette yoga female with a smokeshow ponytail on the path down to stinson beach from muir woods, made me feel kinda like a homecoming king or something...not gonna lie, gotta lotta tongue on that kiss



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Shocky1
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9:08a, 11/2/25

the most FUN/greatest gameday tradition in the history of cal football!!#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:09a, 11/2/25
Shocky1 said:
cam, u bring up an interesting question, tosh lupoi is intelligent, possesses an unimpeachable work ethic & the street smarts of a rio de janerio pocket picker

the foundation of lupoi's college football career (he washed outta the nfl as a technically deficient defensive line coach, recruiting is not a valued skillset in the pro game) is based upon his predatory ability to relate to 5 star low gpa black & poly high schoolers from lower socioeconomic backgrounds with a single parent moms who is working multiple jobs which allows tosh to serve as a "father/big brother" figure while xboxing with these naive young men promising them nfl stardom/paychecks, working for nike, owning a restaurant, etc. without any meaningful academic ambition

and then these young men turn 30 with all of these dreams gone up in smoke & they are ****** in a highly competitive global economy that favors the well educated like berkeley, stanford & ivy league grads

at a university with high academic ethics & standards, lupoi's bull**** would not fly but at oregon (which is basically a safety school for white dumb azz cali kids that got rejected from every uc school) they value winning at all costs & their fanbase is not interested in the afterlives of their disposable gladiators

bottom line, tosh lupoi is a piece of **** kinda like criminal dana altman & their only loyalties are to their wallets


https://instagr.am/p/DQh-JtJjLly
SHOCKY'S MONSTER FLIPAROO: the upcoming gameplan for cal football & the athletic department

after extensive conversations with multiple sources (and receiving greater context re: a number of key issues) shocky is now of the opinion that berkeley grad TOSH LUPOI is the right person to become the next HEAD FOOTBALL COACH at the university of california, berkeley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/ByrKXO9n4hN
with the HIGH ENERGY (which is critical for warrior mental preparedness on gamedays, this is the not the nfl where players motivate themselves) tosh (who has always loved cal football along with his dad) leading the way we're gonna also better position the 9th island school as the premiere academic destination for polys (including hopa/hopas like tosh & shocky) in the college recruiting football landscape while we lean into our ohana spirit roots!!


as for the staff on & off the field the majority of the hard working professionals will be retained particularly with the significant talent in recruiting (the 2026 class got high gpa upside at multiple positions), the s&c program & creative services (ok, talking about 3 year berkeley grad vals who at some point will be charged with handling the current abysmal/ineffectual social media outreach for the entire university/uc system) with the biggest change being NICK ROLOVICH (who is not qualified to be a science medicine professor but definitely knows to order the tofu beef with green onions at china palace after a round at indian valley) as the next OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR

nick got deep bay area roots (setting national passing records at san francisco city college before becoming the most beloved person in the history of hawaii football) & isn't ever going to leave home again (learning from the cold as **** pullman ****show) without a parachute...rolovich values ACADEMICS as evidenced by his son daniel's 3.9 gpa (and turning down an offer from harvard to compete for the qb1 job at san jose state in 2026)

going all in with polys will ensure that future all americans CADE ULUAVE (who has 1 more year before earning a coveted berkeley degree that will set him up for life) & JARON KEAWE SAGAPOLTELE (who loves rolo, his teammates, the bay area's proximity to home & berkeley's elite academics!!) are a very high probability to return to berkeley in 2026 for a team that got talent that is not currently fully surfacing

as for rolo's offensive staff, fully expect FAMIKA ANAE to return as cal's monster offensive line coach with a majority of the playing rotation returning for a 2nd year of development...tosh coupled with famika and with john jr already in town for his parents on gamedays will greater position the program for when TOMMY TOFI wants to be a day 1 starter at tackle for the bears

ideally with the change in the head coach, tosh & general manager berkeley grad ron rivera will then be in a position to recruit berkeley grad BURL TOLER (who does not have any assurances right now for a job in 2026 from ucla) back to the bay area as the running backs coach ideally bringing along shocky's favorite player JAIVIAN "THE JET" THOMAS (whose moms javona is not enjoying the gameday travel from oakland to los angeles) back to the bay with the return of PITCHOUTS as a trademark explosive play call for a program with rbs with NFL SPEED

and yeah haas biz ad grad tight ends coach MIKE SAFFELL would continue to be mentored as the future head coach in waiting as a dilly 2.0 +1 extrovert that connects with everybody

defensively the bears got a solid staff particularly with TERRENCE BROWN & VIC SO'OTO , it's possible there might be a tweak or two such as the former nfl d-line coach evaluating that current position coach (important recurring note: d-line is by far the hardest position to recruit to berkeley because of the limited # of academically qualified prospects) but the real transformation will occur as the bears finally hiring a long overdue ******* SPECIAL TEAMS COACH!!

while this is happening in memorial stadium fully expect fellow haas biz ad grad chancellor lyons to terminate the decade+ long football obstructionists current co athletic director ****tards jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil (neither is a berkeley grad or truly bleeds blue & gold) & replace these piece of **** worthless bureaucrats with berkeley grad ANDREW MCGRAW

bottom line, this succession plan will allow the staff to coach up a hopefully victorious 2025 bowl game (shocky wuz done with wilcox after he unilaterally treated the la bowl at so fi stadium like an exhibition scrimmage & threw away an opportunity for a winning season which is important to the fanbase) & also to immediately start planning for the early january transfer portal 10 day window which will be critical in assessing multiple impact starters at positions of need for a successful 2026 acc season (with positive news re: the outta conference schedule to be announced soon) with surging gameday attendance as the marketing efforts (with non berkeley grad markeisha everrett now in the rearview mirror thx to the monster lobbying efforts against her) finally getting synced up to dominate the untapped bay area football tix marketspace (40,000 should be the floor with bigger games targeting 50,000+ and younger attendees)!!

TIMING: shocky thinks the dominoes will start falling on the monday after the louisville game which will also potentially include an announcement that ALL berkeley students will be inclusively invited FREE to the smu final home game in the 2025 season at memorial stadium!!
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Shocky1
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7:09p, 11/2/25
https://instagr.am/p/DQFYWdCgVQr
plan b: if rich & ron cannot come to contractual terms with tosh, then hiring/promoting rolo as the head coach would make the most sense

rolo would handle the gameday playcalling as the de facto oc and continue developing 1st year jks (whose next major step in his evolution/development is running the ball upfield for game winning gash plays in the 4th quarter of tight games kinda like 6th year chandler morris instead of sliding/running outta bounds) & then hire an "offensive coordinator/quarterbacks coach" similar to his organizational structure at wazoo
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