cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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10:19p, 12/22/22
cal's monster class official public service announcement to all california golden bears:


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Shocky1
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4:59a, 12/23/22
jack plummer will be signing with louisville for his final year of eligibility & reuniting with his former purdue coach jeff brohm which will facilitate his transition with the cardinals schemes

merry xmas jack

https://instagr.am/p/CYCH_7EJMRB
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6956bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:03a, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/Clhz6CMrtJ_
coach bloesch gotta target 6'5" 302 lbs 3 year washington state starting left tackle jarrett kingston from anderson (just south of redding, 3+ hour drive to berkeley on gamedays) who just entered the portal after his season was shut down on november 5th after a lower body injury & famously proposed to his now fiance on the field on november 28th

kingston is a social science major & is seeking some nil wedding/new family financial support

the cal staff is currently reviewing the following exclusive gameday footage of jarrett kingston aggressively showing powerful quick strike high twitch movement while imposing his will

cal's monster offensive line#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including shasta county)
Well he was just offered by USC. If NIL is what he is seeking he may have found a source.
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Shocky1
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In reply to JB was a Chieftain • 5:28a, 12/23/22
JB was a Chieftain said:
There are 1959 palm trees. If I win I want floor seats to the new AD press conference
look jb, dr shock is not a licensed orinthologist/ophthalmologist or nothing but ur guess of 1959 seems kinda high compared to rkt's more nuanced realistic guess of 100 palm trees

maybe u need to get ur eyes checked?

https://instagr.am/p/Cji1zVyvz0Q
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Shocky1
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5:56a, 12/23/22

it is because of **** like this that the shockster like to limit his work week to a couple of hours max while focusing on yoga, golf, reading fashion blogs, assisting marshall with special projects, fundraising for maricopa county no kill rescue facilities, going to chop shop for them daily 32 oz green drinks, hiking with them rescue dogs up the mountain, planning future world top 100 golf course travel & playing high stakes (stripping is better than money) poker games with a curvy brunette yoga female



time management is everything for berkeley grads (r u busy today?)#
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JB was a Chieftain
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:59a, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
JB was a Chieftain said:
There are 1959 palm trees. If I win I want floor seats to the new AD press conference
look jb, dr shock is not a licensed orinthologist/ophthalmologist or nothing but ur guess of 1959 seems kinda high compared to rkt's more nuanced realistic guess of 100 palm trees

maybe u need to get ur eyes checked?

https://instagr.am/p/Cji1zVyvz0Q


1959 is a number only seen by old blues in rose colored classes
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Shocky1
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6:03a, 12/23/22
jb, got no idea what the **** u talking about but at least u didn't guess 1979 palm trees

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Shocky1
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6:24a, 12/23/22
interior lineman austin boyd no longer on cal's radar, hope he picks harvard
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6:30a, 12/23/22
exclusive footage of the cal football staff reading the latest post by shocky:
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Shocky1
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6:42a, 12/23/22
multiple year asu o-line starter ben scott to nebraska
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Shocky1
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6:47a, 12/23/22
text from mr sun angel that dilly is doing "due diligence" on kai, told him milner is a tremendous student athlete that dumped his girlfriend to focus on football & academics & that hopefully he returns to berkeley
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Bobodeluxe
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:26a, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
text from mr sun angel that dilly is doing "due diligence" on kai, told him milner is a tremendous student athlete that dumped his girlfriend to focus on football & academics & that hopefully he returns to berkeley
So, she left him, and he is heartbroken?
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JB was a Chieftain
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:09a, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
jb, got no idea what the **** u talking about but at least u didn't guess 1979 palm trees



Last year Cal was in the Rose Bowl
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9:17a, 12/23/22
wut, kal was in the rose bowl parade in 1979, what does this have to do with anything?

ur post makes no sense
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Shocky1
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In reply to Bobodeluxe • 9:19a, 12/23/22
Bobodeluxe said:
Shocky1 said:
text from mr sun angel that dilly is doing "due diligence" on kai, told him milner is a tremendous student athlete that dumped his girlfriend to focus on football & academics & that hopefully he returns to berkeley
So, she left him, and he is heartbroken?
bobo u got it backwards, kai wuz the dumper not the dumpee

bobo got good hair (rock that man bun, bobo, shake that tail)#
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Shocky1
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9:21a, 12/23/22
sharky is surprised there not more palm tree guesses

bears cant count?#
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Shocky1
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10:12a, 12/23/22
sierra schultzzie (no relationship to this snoopy) has shamefully set up her own palm tree counting contest in a direct rip off of my fun cal's monster offensive line palm tree counting contest which is in direct violation of the north & central america 1959 anti trust copywriter infringement laws & anti rico palm tree counting statutes which are still enforceable in 29 states such as arizona, belize & california and so forth

my legal counsel of future son in law brenden glapion is reviewing this matter at a billable rate of 700 bucks an hour & will be serving sierra a cease & desist letter by noon new york city time

look, the monster is not a grinch but there's 46 palm trees in this foto...take that, Sierra

not gonna lie, chandler rogers takes this palm tree counting biz very seriously, this is not some trifling dumb azz matter to cal's future starting quarterback

https://instagr.am/p/CVN9cJcJ63Z
counting palm trees iz fun (particularly if ur a functioning ocd)#
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Bobodeluxe
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:26a, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
Bobodeluxe said:
Shocky1 said:
text from mr sun angel that dilly is doing "due diligence" on kai, told him milner is a tremendous student athlete that dumped his girlfriend to focus on football & academics & that hopefully he returns to berkeley
So, she left him, and he is heartbroken?
bobo u got it backwards, kai wuz the dumper not the dumpee

bobo got good hair (rock that man bun, bobo, shake that tail)#
I once introduced myself to Shocky.

It did not go as I expected.




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Econ141
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2:55p, 12/23/22
Stacking RBs

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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:01p, 12/23/22
Cal's decision, or Boyd's?
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Big C
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In reply to Shocky1 • 3:53p, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
jack plummer will be signing with louisville for his final year of eligibility & reuniting with his former purdue coach jeff brohm which will facilitate his transition with the cardinals schemes

merry xmas jack

https://instagr.am/p/CYCH_7EJMRB

Plummer, when he transfers, seems to always seek out a program where the football team is going to win more games than the basketball team. Doesn't want to be overshadowed by roundball, I guess...
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Shocky1
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In reply to Pittstop • 3:56p, 12/23/22
Pittstop said:
Cal's decision, or Boyd's?
pitts, cal's decision (and not one the monster agrees with re: this 3.88 gpa high velocity motor interior lineman) but in this dramatically changing collegiate recruiting landscape austin will be a transfer portal target (unless he goes to harvard in which case he should earn his degree there) for the staff after he further develops his nasty azz style of combat play in college
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Shocky1
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In reply to Big C • 3:58p, 12/23/22
Big C said:
Shocky1 said:
jack plummer will be signing with louisville for his final year of eligibility & reuniting with his former purdue coach jeff brohm which will facilitate his transition with the cardinals schemes

merry xmas jack

https://instagr.am/p/CYCH_7EJMRB

Plummer, when he transfers, seems to always seek out a program where the football team is going to win more games than the basketball team. Doesn't want to be overshadowed by roundball, I guess...
agreed, dude took brutal punishment this season but it was not written in the stars by javert for the 2023 season killer to be the plumber with a football in memorial stadium
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Shocky1
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In reply to Econ141 • 4:20p, 12/23/22
Econ141 said:
Stacking RBs


welcome 6' 175 lbs running back jusyis "jojo" solis from acquinas high school in the northern inland empire, the 1st commit for cal's 2025 class...coach thompson es en fuego ahora

jojo is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.14 gpa & knows he can do better/work harder in the classroom

as a freshman jo jo led the nation for freshman backs with an unreal 2088 yards & 37 touchdowns, check out his moves as a 15 year old (my favorite highlite is how he calmly hands the ball to the ref after a td, this is no big ******* deal)



if u got any heart conditions, do NOT watch any of jojo's sophomore season highlites particularly the 1st play on this video, ok?



this **** is getting live

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world

where jojo? (he gone, touchdown bears!)#

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:52p, 12/23/22
Shocky1 said:
exclusive cal special teams recruiting update:

coach barton has extended an actionable offer to portal transfer 6'3" 195 lbs punter lachlan wilson from tulsa who is originally from eaglemont victoria australia which is north of shocky's beloved royal melbourne east & west courses & kingston heath in melbourne's spectacular sandbelt region

this past season lachlan averaged 43.78 per punt for #32 in the nation after averaging 45.7 on punts in 2021 with 19 fair catches
https://www.ncaa.com/stats/football/fbs/current/individual/17

is berkeley a kangaroo sanctuary or what?

https://instagr.am/p/CeNRj3fJYNL
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the warm weather penguins near melbourne at st kildas)

lachlan wilson is a huge commitment for the california golden bears with the departure of fellow australian jamieson sheahan who is a legit nfl prospect

so how is this deal structured?

lachlan will get financial assistance as he arrives in berkeley this january

if he wins the starting position during spring ball as expected (his competition is true freshman aussie 6'4" 175 lbs ethan baxter who blueshirted this season, he's never played an american football game in his life), then wilson will be awarded the punter scholly for the 2023 season, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/Cl-RtIDjr2r
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Shocky1
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4:59p, 12/23/22
coach barton update: mike is 100% committed to not leaving his office during the holidays break as he studies the rosetta stone language materials in his quest to improve his communication skills with his punters by learning australian
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5:24p, 12/23/22


cal's monster offensive recruiting update:

the staff has offered 6'5" 285 lbs all ivy league alec bank who has started the last 20 games at left tackle for harvard, he got one year of remaining eligibility but it seems to me he could appeal for two years (the ivy league don't recognize redshirt seasons but bank only played 2 games in his 1st year in cambridge, seems like he could appeal to the ncca for a retroactive extra season)

alec is originally from the rich as **** enclave of coco de caza in orange county, he's not gonna go to a piece of **** school like michigan state like tunmise that preps its grads for a career at the traverse city truck stop cuz they offered some nil dollars



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and an hour flight for the fam on gamedays to the bay)
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Shocky1
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9:45p, 12/23/22

2023 california golden bears yucky blucky fruitcake class:

doechii, why don't you introduce the 2023 yucky blucky fruitcake signees to the class?

justin wilcox, defensive back (3.43 gpa)
lachlan wilson, punter (strong student from australia)
byron caldwell, running back (3.3 gpa)
sergio allen, inside linebacker (3.4 gpa)
matt littlejohn, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
javian "the jet" thomas, running back (3.4 gpa)
nohl williams, defensive back (3.61 gpa)
kaylin moore, defensive back (3.4 gpa)
frederick williams iii, athlte (3.6 gpa)
zurich ashford, defensive end (3.62 gpa)
ben marshall, tight end (3.4 gpa)
ryan mcculloch, outside linebacker (4.1 gpa)
tiumalu afalava, defensive line (4.1 gpa)
cade uluave, inside linebacker (3.8 gpa)
sailasa vadrawale, defensive back (3.46 gpa)
nyziah hunter, wide receiver (3.0+ gpa)
nick morrow, offensive tackle (3.7 gpa)
michael luckhurst, kicker (4.37 gpa)

all 17 of these 2023 scholly recipients are beating the statistics, **** the opinions and all the logistics



wow, that was quite the introduction, doechii, we're gonna have to have a talk after class

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world aka planet earth (just ask roxy)

don't forgot to take the chicken out#


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NVBear78
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11:50p, 12/23/22
Merry Almost Christmas to Shocky and all Cal fans!
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Shocky1
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6:29a, 12/24/22

right now the bears got 19 publicly (and several more that are awaiting student athlete disclosures) announced scholly departures:

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
kyle smith, inside linebacker...graduation
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer
keleki latu, tight end...portal...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer portal to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...portal as grad transfer
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer portal to louisville
kai milner, quarterback...portal...no berkeley degree

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 2:11p, 12/24/22
Shocky1 said:
text from mr sun angel that dilly is doing "due diligence" on kai, told him milner is a tremendous student athlete that dumped his girlfriend to focus on football & academics & that hopefully he returns to berkeley
dilly's qb room is full
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eastcoastcal
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2:42p, 12/24/22
How is ASU pulling in all these transfers? Program threatened by sanctions, complete staff turnover, do they have a lot of motivated donors putting in NIL money?
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:06p, 12/24/22
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

slim wadie tole me this morning that when rich as **** guys in north scottsdale see me walking towards them these days, they apparently already know ima gonna fist bump them, ask them how their golf game is these days, probably do a headstand particularly if there are any attractive females giving us the side eye & then ask for a shelter donation check of $25,000 and that most of these guys are gonna just give me the ******* money just to get my high motor broken down sorry azz outta site (until the monster sees them again next time)

yeah what's in ur wallet, chica?

https://instagr.am/p/CMu5z6ylFwY
the university of california, berkeley=epicenter for the animal advocacy movement in the united states of america including the canary islands & nobu cabo san lucas
what up ec, hope you did well on your finals, gonna give you an honest answer

the asu donor community of north scottsdale/paradise valley/arcadia is galvanizing together in an unprecedented way right now despite the ncca looming sanctions, etc. in response to the long overdue walking of herm to his car, the valley of the sun's largest checkbook writers are reawakening to the magic of collegiate sports vs the soulless nature of professional sports (can watch around 5 minutes of the nfl/cte before getting the dog leashes) that are owned by bad guys like robert sarver (phoenix suns), michael bidwell (phoenix cardinals) & ken kendrick (arizona diamondbacks, majority partner)

the leaders of this movement like mr sun angel from silverleaf gotta big inclusive tent (they have invited me to numerous get togethers that openly share information as tho its non proprietary about the program) that includes fun high energy young guys like that you that are the future diehard fans of tomorrow...despite a 3-9 season they got a fun message board run by chris karpman that got 50+ threads rolling today with an average view count of over 25k apiece with a lotta stuff that makes you laugh out loud

i was asked 10 days ago to be part of a 3 donor nil deal for jack plummer, it was a relatively nominal amount but i declined to participate...i wuz walked to my car by one of the organizers of cal's nil efforts & my beloved cal's monster class (which successfully targeted readers under 30 years of age & also those without a berkeley affiliation) wuz taken away...and when i asked james arthur knowlton in corvallis a few years ago to check out the reasons for my departure, he later got back to me that nobody knew nothing

so it's way more meaningful for me right now to tirelessly fundraise for rescue/foster dogs & cats that need somebody to protect them particularly during the hot desert summertimes that leaves them vulnerable, it makes me feel good & its part of my daily life (snoopy is proud of me)

ec the giant, i will forever bleed blue & gold (sitting on the floor with taylor a couple of days ago after a 6 year absence & leading a 1 person failed stormin' the floor wuz fun) but ima probably closer to becoming an asu (all 3 of my kids graduated from tempe) nil donor than a cal nil donor because of the inclusive & fun nature of the rapidly galvanizing sun angels community

my love letter to cal basketball (cal's monster class) is a cautionary tale, a lifetime of fandom from passing on fall trips down to stinson beach instead to attend cal football games with my high school baseball teammates squeezed into my rabbit back in the day to the present day can be terminated perhaps even forever by an email or two



the walk home (u r not alone)#

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4:08p, 12/24/22


the magic of cal basketball (but only if you watch the entire video)#
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12:33a, 12/25/22
cal's monster offensive line recruiting update:

coach bloesch has offered 1st team all wac 6'4" 300 lbs christy nkanu who is a portal transfer from southern utah & originally montreal who got 1 year of remaining eligibility...the well traveled nkanu went to st paul high school in santa fe spring california

christy has already tripped to arizona & and intends to take multiple official visits on an early january roadtrip in order to make a decision no later than january 10th

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked university in the world (including the best deli on planet earth, schwartz's on st laurent blvd)
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