cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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11:32p, 9/8/23
https://instagr.am/p/CIBmdMAJAhc
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xvii

school: stanford

mascot: the tree

stadium: stanford stadium (50,424 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #3
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun facts: calford's invitations to the acc can be directly attributed to the relentless lobbying by condoleezaa rice (cypress point & augusta national memberships)...with a 78 year old retiring chancellor & a clueless as **** current athletic director who is under investigation by the chancellor's office, every cal fan regardless of their political ideology owes a great debt of gratitude to the remarkable condoleezza

stanford is a 100% lock to be a protected rival for cal by the acc comish which will ensure future annual big games

shocky's favorite stanford grad: this has evolved over time, tiger woods via his tw foundation has funded educations for thousands of young people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds...tiger got star stuff

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calumnus
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In reply to Shocky1 • 2:49a, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CIBmdMAJAhc
cal's monster class acc introductions: part xvii

school: stanford

mascot: the tree

stadium: stanford stadium (50,424 capacity)

2023 forbes academic ranking: #3
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

fun facts: calford's invitations to the acc can be directly attributed to the relentless lobbying by condoleezaa rice (cypress point & augusta national memberships)...with a 78 year old retiring chancellor & a clueless as **** current athletic director who is under investigation by the chancellor's office, every cal fan regardless of their political ideology owes a great debt of gratitude to the remarkable condoleezza

stanford is a 100% lock to be a protected rival for cal by the acc comish which will ensure future annual big games

shocky's favorite stanford grad: this has evolved over time, tiger woods via his tw foundation has funded educations for thousands of young people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds...tiger got star stuff



Wait, your favorite Stanford grad is not now Mark Madsen?????
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:01a, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:
82, i luv lincoln park but am under the impression it's currently closed for renovations, the views of the golden age bridge from the iconic par 3 17th hole are some of the most dramatic in san francisco...fyi in an average year the monster plays as many rounds on public courses as private courses, he's not a country club snob, ok?...and yeah gleneagles got some really challenging holes


A few weeks ago I just spoke with Charlie at Lincoln Park to setup four tee times in late September. Charlie has been there for 40 years I'm guessing. He didn't say anything about it being closed. Anyway, all good. I've got nothing against private courses. I was lucky enough to have a junior membership to Olympic back in the late 70s. Going from Lincoln to the Lake course took my game to another level. Wife, kids, house, job ...made a senior membership as well as continuing to spend time golfing impossible. All good. Have great, great golfing memories from all over northern California and I don't miss playing. I'm no good anymore so that's probably why.
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:09a, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CtK-5X3Pamu
after a ravenous scrumptious lunch at scoma's at fisherman's wharf (conversed with a lotta friendly auburn fans visiting for tomorrow's game), me & slim wadie played a late afternoon round thru the rolling san francisco fog at the recently gil hanse renovated lake merced...after years of architectural garbage time by the trent jones family, gil has faithfully brought back the flashy beautiful bunkering of alistar mackenzie in what is a fun golfing experience with firm & fast conditioning/tight turf with several strategically multiple option short par 4s & a world class collection of par 3s...the club would better improve the course's aesthetics by planting trees on the perimeter of the kinda ugly azz surrounding neighborhood

shocky's san francisco rankings:

1) san francisco golf club: shocky's old caddie grounds back in the stinson beach high school & berkeley days, this tillinghast masterpiece (faithfully restored by tom doak) is in my world top 50 rankings

2) california golf club: usa top 100 course tho the back & forth parallel hole routing on the back nine is sub optimal

3) olympic lake: long overrated in my book the us open venue is currently closed for gil hanse restoration work, can't wait to see to see if the future reopening brings a greater element of fun to this relentless torturous final examination

4) harding park: home to colin morikawa's most famous shot on the drivable short par 16th hole

5) lake merced: see above

6) olympic ocean: more facelifts than an aging hollywood starlet, should just accept getting old as part of life's adventure & get on with it

7) presidio: never an even lie, a walk on the wild side

8) lincoln park: luv the collection of short par 4s & the 17th hole is worth the price of admission


Awesome. Someday I'll bore you with my Lake Merced junior golf story and pro Woody Wright. Great guy. Agree about San Francisco club. Beautiful course. And Lake course is just sort of boring but tough. Not in SF but I think Pasatiempo is my favorite in NorCal. Used to meet a friend working in silicon valley after work and play twilight hours. Another golfing memory I took for granted.
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9:12a, 9/9/23
^^^calalumnus, mad dog is definitely on the rise in my rankings

https://instagr.am/p/CwDgc5-vwhp
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9:42a, 9/9/23
https://instagr.am/p/Cnx39PFqhmm
82, one of shocky's favorite bay area seasons in the sun kinda days is a brisk early morning walking round at pasa to be followed by driving a broke down car & holding hands on the santa cruz boardwalk with a curvy brunette yoga female (even tho u never wanna see again her friends in tuscon)

plus cal's next athletic director played quarterback for them pasatiempo high school surfboarders (official dance & cheer chant, "first and ten, let's do the hang ten again....go boarders!!!")



the university of california, berkeley-#1 ranked public university in the world (including coastal california, this isn't ugly azz kansas or texas, baby)
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:16a, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CwtNWMUpQ58
wut up, jaydn?

spoke to someone very close to u, great to hear ur loving ur time at cal including ur coaches & teammates...and also that there's a "very strong probability" that ur gonna finish ur collegiate career in a bears uniform before declaring for the nfl draft after the 2024 season

look, shocky 100% gets it, the #1 ranked public university in the world is NOT also the epicenter on planet earth for curvy brunette yoga females (that would be asu)...but u can trust me that cal guys get wut they want, this **** is all gonna work out in the long run



it's a bird, it's a plane, no its *******jaydn ott#
https://instagr.am/p/BsGviECBdjS
wut up, jaydn?

how r u?

ima fine

is there gonna be any drama tonite at memorial stadium?

best regards,

ur friend shocky
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:26a, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:
*****a smiling sam jackson v tole me he's gonna be 100% for auburn next saturday...sam likes to listen to hype music like lucki the evenings before games & then chill down on gamedays...dude got a brilliant smile & a very likable personality, rooting for him to not only ball out this fall but also continue to make progress in earning a life changing berkeley degree



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including chicago)
https://instagr.am/p/CuPdV7PxhiG
sam i am, green eggs and ham, **** them disloyal auburn tigers

sam & shocky=brothers from different mothers



shut the **** up, shocky (ur very annoying or something)#

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bluehenbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:29a, 9/9/23
Obligatory:

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Shocky1
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1:20p, 9/9/23
another pasatiempo high school surfboards official cheer & dance chant is "board wax, board wax, andrew is gonna kick aptos in the azz"
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1:31p, 9/9/23

max homa & colin morikawa in italy playing a 36 hole practice round on saturday for the upcoming 2023 ryder cup

serious ruff (gotta drive the ball straight or else)#

https://instagr.am/p/CwvJC-0seeh
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:57p, 9/9/23
Shocky1 said:

a couple of years ago the head golf professional at my favorite public golf courses in scottsdale talking stick (coore & crenshaw designed 36 holes, a 10 minute drive from modern yoga) calls me up & tells me that he would appreciate me doing him a solid & come out that friday to play a game with a sports guy guest...scott tells me that we will play as a twosome & that he will block out the tee times before & after our tee time to ensure nobody bothers us & that since shocky is a walker the guest will have his privacy riding solo in a golf cart (the guest apparently can't walk 18 holes)

tell scott sure no big deal

introductions are made on the putting green, it's bo jackson

so we play the back tees that day (which are 6800+ yards with firm/fast fairways), jackson can pound his drives but hits a couple drives 50 yards off line into the caca...bo tells me that since he got hip replacement surgery that a couple of times a round he can't clear his left side which results in blocked lost ball drives to the right which kinda drives him crazy...shocky shoots a 79 & beats bo by 5 strokes, jackson loses our 5 bucks bet but its never paid up after the round when we do our bro hug on the 18th green

we never talk about sports (which is a relief to bo but honestly its because i got zero interest in pro sports teams/athletes outside of our golden bear pga golfers)

interestingly when i tell him that i wuz raised by a tiger mom who tole me i could do anything in life, he shares with me that he wuz primarily raised by his grandmother who beat the **** out of him & that's the origin of his mental toughness/competitiveness

bo tells me the following story about his daughter morgan, this is a loose recollection of his words:

so his only daughter morgan is in high school & she's already one of the fastest girls in illinois (his primary home is in lemont a suburb of chicago which is home to the cog hill golf complex, jackson mostly plays public courses) & she already got a scholly offer to auburn which he's very proud of

anyways bo is not a dumb azz & he's heard thru the local chatter (his sons) that there are high school boys who wanna devirginize his pretty daughter so when morgan tells him that she's gonna go on her 1st date both morgan & his longtime wife linda are very anxious about how dad is gonna treat the young man when he shows up at the house

"daddy, please be nice to marcus"-morgan

"bo, do not ruin our daughter's 1st date, ok?"-linda

so marcus rings the doorbell & is welcomed into the house

bo says excuse me but can i have a moment alone with marcus in my study/hunting trophy room

morgan & linda share a nervous eye exchange & marcus follows a quiet bo thru the house to his man cave

they eventually arrive to the room & still without a word bo turns his back on marcus & walks over to his work table & pulls out a ginormous silver bullet & asks marcus how his name is spelled

a sweating marcus spells out his first & last name while bo writes something on the bullet with a special sharpie

jackson finally walks over to marcus (who is a star running back at the local high school) & tells him to open his hand

marcus complies with this request & bo puts the silver bullet which has the young man's full name inscribed on it into his palm & tells him:

"marcus, if you disrespect my daughter in any way i will hunt you down to the end of earth & put this bullet in your head, do you fully understand me?"

"yes sir, mr jackson!"

marcus brings his daughter morgan home on her 1st date at 9:45 pm

bo knows (dad of the year)#
https://instagr.am/p/Cw5fGqQgFyW
monster note: almost every student in the background appears to be white, not a lotta diversity in the deep south

2023 opponent: auburn

mascot: aubie the tiger

2023 forbes academic ranking: #111
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

cal roadgame stadium on september 7, 2024: jordan hare stadium (87,451 capacity)

best gameday golf: wicker point (1st coore & crenshaw design in the deep south will open later this year on lake martin, destined to be a world class golfing experience)

https://instagr.am/p/CpffoaDOP-z
shocky's favorite auburn grad: bo jackson

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SBGold
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In reply to bluehenbear • 3:30p, 9/9/23
bluehenbear said:
Obligatory:

Tiger easy to boo.

Shumann stole apparel from the Dubs, got tossed on his aZZ
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3:52p, 9/9/23


deion sanders is living proof that you can be a bad human being (cutting scholly players that underperform) on planet earth & still win football games while the ethical coach wilcox (pictured above) still looks to find the magic in his 7th season as a head coach
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4:39p, 9/9/23
https://instagr.am/p/Cw-eTlYO_al
sign of the times & cal's acceptance of an acc invitation: less tarps

https://instagr.am/p/Cw-zf4UvUAN
r u gonna join shocky in stormin' the field? (bring bail money)#



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for criminals that can outrun police & them yellow jacketed stadium security to the epicenter of planet earth, mid field of memorial stadium on gamedays)
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HoopDreams
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4:51p, 9/9/23
The Shockster at Gold Out in Memorial


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5:02p, 9/9/23
https://instagr.am/p/CwgRfnJSo0Y
hoops partner, legal counsel is advising that doggys are always allowed on the field (as long as they don't take no dumps) & that neon green is today's monster color of choice

shocky is color blind (and such a good boy except when running from the police towards midfield)#
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5:23p, 9/9/23
official cal offensive gameplan vs auburn tonite: pound for ground with an amped up jaydn ott behind cal's monster offensive line

let's ******* go#
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12:25a, 9/10/23

auburn 14
california 10
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oskiswifeshusband
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:28a, 9/10/23
The most pathetic coaching I've seen in my life
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12:34a, 9/10/23


cindo done for the season
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In reply to oskiswifeshusband • 6:45a, 9/10/23
oskiswifeshusband said:
The most pathetic coaching I've seen in my life
100% disagree, this is the best coaching staff of the last decade in berkeley in its totality...bur ur upset rite now which is understandable, all the bears r kinda grumpy including the monster

at this point in time on planet earth we are still paying for the lousy offensive line recruiting of the burned out greatwood (who wuz more interested in calling his grand kids in bend on his flip phone than high school prospects) & the technically weak angus who did not command the full respect of his players & potential future prospects...and those 2 hires are on justin who also allowed the o-line scholly room count to dwindle to 14 while amassing bloated numbers of slow as **** unathletic white tight ends & linebackers that never played a productive snap of college football

you can't win football games against teams with +1 athletic defenders with a dozen+ run plays stuffed at the line of scrimmage...holding calls are often the result of being physically overmatched and/or lack of technical discipline from years of poor coaching...and ima still not a fan of the nutrition/s&c program (knowlton's devious withholding/misdirecting of funds from the football program which he diverted to non rev sports is the leading catalyst to this problem) which are critical components of developing quick twitch trench workers plus they seriously could all use yoga/meditation practices like jaylen brown who i introduced to the magic of yoga



coach bloesch & coach saffell are the right guys to turnaround cal's monster offensive line but last nite wuz court document #1 that we aren't there yet...listening to their interactions with the trench workers while on the field with coastie during the pregame warm ups confirms we're heading in an upward trajectory...the solution is recruiting, recruiting & recruiting of key targeted 2024 & 2025 high priority prospects

and yeah michael luckhurst is gonna be a nfl kicker someday but last nite wuz not the beginning of his future era of transcendental kicking...got all the confidence in the world of lucky

this is cal football#


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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:04a, 9/10/23
Shocky1 said:
oskiswifeshusband said:
The most pathetic coaching I've seen in my life
100% disagree, this is the best coaching staff of the last decade in berkeley in its totality...bur ur upset rite now which is understandable, all the bears r kinda grumpy including the monster

at this point in time on planet earth we are still paying for the lousy offensive line recruiting of the burned out greatwood (who wuz more interested in calling his grand kids in bend on his flip phone than high school prospects) & the technically weak angus who did not command the full respect of his players & potential future prospects...and those 2 hires are on justin who also allowed the o-line scholly room count to dwindle to 14 while amassing bloated numbers of slow as **** unathletic white tight ends & linebackers that never played a productive snap of college football

you can't win football games against teams with +1 athletic defenders with a dozen+ run plays stuffed at the line of scrimmage...holding calls are often the result of being physically overmatched and/or lack of technical discipline from years of poor coaching...and ima still not a fan of the nutrition/s&c program (knowlton's devious withholdingmisdirecting of funds from the football program which he diverted to non rev sports is the leading catalyst to this problem) which are critical components of developing quick twitch trench workers plus they seriously could all use yoga/meditation practices like jaylen brown who i introduced to the magic of yoga



coach bloesch & coach saffell are the right guys to turnaround cal's monster offensive line but last nite wuz court document #1 that we aren't there yet...listening to their interactions with the trench workers while on the field with coastie during the pregame warm ups confirms we're heading in an upward trajectory...the solution is recruiting, recruiting & recruiting of key targeted 2024 & 2025 high priority prospects

and yeah michael luckhurst is gonna be a nfl kicker someday but last nite wuz not the beginning of his future era of transcendental kicking...got all the confidence in the world of lucky

this is cal football#




Hope you're right. But good head guys, in any field, don't usually settle for a sloooowww turnaround that incremental change brings. They find creative ways to make positive change more quickly. Wilcox has shown he's not that good.
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mbBear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:39a, 9/10/23
Shocky1 said:
oskiswifeshusband said:
The most pathetic coaching I've seen in my life
100% disagree, this is the best coaching staff of the last decade in berkeley in its totality...bur ur upset rite now which is understandable, all the bears r kinda grumpy including the monster

at this point in time on planet earth we are still paying for the lousy offensive line recruiting of the burned out greatwood (who wuz more interested in calling his grand kids in bend on his flip phone than high school prospects) & the technically weak angus who did not command the full respect of his players & potential future prospects...and those 2 hires are on justin who also allowed the o-line scholly room count to dwindle to 14 while amassing bloated numbers of slow as **** unathletic white tight ends & linebackers that never played a productive snap of college football

you can't win football games against teams with +1 athletic defenders with a dozen+ run plays stuffed at the line of scrimmage...holding calls are often the result of being physically overmatched and/or lack of technical discipline from years of poor coaching...and ima still not a fan of the nutrition/s&c program (knowlton's devious withholdingmisdirecting of funds from the football program which he diverted to non rev sports is the leading catalyst to this problem) which are critical components of developing quick twitch trench workers plus they seriously could all use yoga/meditation practices like jaylen brown who i introduced to the magic of yoga



coach bloesch & coach saffell are the right guys to turnaround cal's monster offensive line but last nite wuz court document #1 that we aren't there yet...listening to their interactions with the trench workers while on the field with coastie during the pregame warm ups confirms we're heading in an upward trajectory...the solution is recruiting, recruiting & recruiting of key targeted 2024 & 2025 high priority prospects

and yeah michael luckhurst is gonna be a nfl kicker someday but last nite wuz not the beginning of his future era of transcendental kicking...got all the confidence in the world of lucky

this is cal football#


I think you need to keep to posting about how important you used to be Men's hoops, how important you are to the golf courses around the world, and how important you are to Jaylen Brown, and wait until you can say "I told you so" about Luckhurst because that was probably one of the worst kicking performances in the history of Cal football. Right now, the question is hardly whether he will be an NFL kicker, but rather if he is the Cal kicker next week against Idaho....
But yeah, you do you...please tell us again how he should have been the kicker last year too...
Ps: and this is from a guy who once upon a time met Mick, etc....so, I loved that he was his son.
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bluehenbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:33a, 9/10/23
Shocky1 said:


cindo done for the season


We're boned
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10:54a, 9/10/23
^, bluehen, that's great news!

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:40a, 9/10/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CuxKIOEIazx



the quest completed (the future is unknowable)#
https://instagr.am/p/CseNnxvLMXC
https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

the global golf centurion club (g2c2) world top 100 hall of fame updated to include shocky's completion of the most current (2021) list

honestly it's time to get some new hobbies/passions, anybody got a list & wanna travel with me to the world's top 100 yoga/meditation studios or something?



change in life is healthy (and so r doggy kisses)#
mb, thx u so much for showing an interest in me & my life!!!

sometimes i kinda feel like the cal football program that nobody truly loves me other them them rescues mixed mutt doggys that i tongue kiss all the time, it's kinda a lonely existence

anyways, gotta give u the info u requested, so here we go

my personal goal of becoming a certified substitute yoga teacher at the t-rex yoga studio in yountville has hit a snag in that ima not passing the california certification licensing background check or something...something about having sex with a curvy brunette yoga female on the pitcher's mound at evans field, muir woods & stinson beach back in the day...gonna try to get this resolved when i travel to napa this upcoming week to coach up max homa during his thursday & friday rounds at silverado

https://instagr.am/p/CZUlDjQrySJ
as for my recent bowling achievements, here's some footage of the trophy winning us open championship roll



also been real busy working with my trainer taj davis (who has earned more gameday snaps as a dynamic wide receiving threat) who tole me recently my post fight reactions r not amped up enuf per the shocky brand so gonna work on that too


look mb, i 100% appreciate ur interest so if ur at next saturday's game at 1:00 pm against idaho can we get some 32 oz pregame green drinks together?
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Shocky1
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2:02p, 9/10/23
https://instagr.am/p/Cw3i1a4MTyy
"ok but why did the double pee in his pants?"#
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 2:31p, 9/10/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/Cw3i1a4MTyy
"ok but why did the double pee in his pants?"#


I thought that mound felt a little weird when I pitched my inning in 1980. I'm blaming you, Shocky.
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4:28p, 9/10/23
82, it's also possible the sprinklers wuz on all nite when u pitched ur inning back in the day
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4:35p, 9/10/23
https://instagr.am/p/Cw_q2kErS9n
reality check: idaho (2-0) knocked the **** out of nevada in reno despite ashton hayes & his moms rushing 6 times for 12 yards

vandals quarterback gevani mccoy (an unreal 71.3% completion rate in 2 games) completed 15 of 21 passes for 313 yards for 2 touchdowns & no interceptions, he's a significantly better qb talent than anyone the bears have seen this season

if the fans & bears do not come out prepared for a ******* battle next saturday at memorial stadium at 1:00 pm, the 2023 season is gonna be done

real talk#
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Shocky1
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6:07p, 9/10/23
ashton hayes 1000 yard update:

ashton got 34 yards on 15 carries on the young season behind an elite offensive line coached up by angus

hayes needs only 966 yards in the wolfpacks remaining 10 games to achieve the 1000 yard milestone

so that's 96.6 yards per game & with a current average carry of 1.8 yards that means he needs 53.6 carries in each of those games

this is 100% achievable according to his moms, keep in mind that 53.6 carries every game might sound like a lot but in reality a football is really not that heavy, got it?

a potentially mitigating factor to the 1000 yard season is that ashton could also play defensive end for the wolfpack

hayes & his moms traded in a degree from the #1 ranked public university in the world for a nevada degree, therefore it will only take ashton with a projected future income level of $16 bucks an hour at age 30 only 14 million years to build generational wealth

football stats r fun#
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Shocky1
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10:20p, 9/10/23


highly suspenseful with complex characters & a crazy azz plot before she finds me authored by berkeley grad (now lives in santa rosa) heather chavez is a fun airplane read set at a fictional beach university in san diego

monster book recommendation#
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KenBurnski
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:27p, 9/10/23
Good looking out on that book rec, Shockster. Just purchased.
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Shocky1
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10:31p, 9/10/23
burnski, trust me, heather got some wild azz imagination (which is not surprising for berkeley grads)
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