cal's monster offensive line

1,999,209 Views | 11825 Replies | Last: 1 hr ago by calumnus
WalterSobchak
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Where's Waldo?








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Econ141
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Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


who is gonna be the next kylar murray in college football?

that would be 5'9" 166 lbs 2026 elite quarterback michael mitchell jr from archbishop riordan in san francisco who balled out yesterday at cal's bay area showcase at memorial stadium & also attended the 2023 spring game

mitchell's game film as a high school freshman is unreal


michael is not a dumb azz, he got a 4.0 gpa at academically rigorous riordan which is not surprising cuz his moms is a berkeley grad who loves her bears & would prefer he stay home for the quick trip across the bay bridge on fall gamedays but also wants him to make his own collegiate decision...and he got offers nationwide from a lotta of the nation's powerhouses

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those who wanna build generational wealth thru nfl development & also intellectual capitalism in the classrooms)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
https://instagr.am/p/Cw6YA73JdLK
cal's #1 2026 qb target (loves his moms & got a 4.0 gpa at riordan)#
Shocky1
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official california golden bears football program singalong anthem for the 2023 independence bowl:

everett, ima not gonna arrive in shreveport until saturday so would u plz organize the team memorization of lyrics so we get this **** tight & right?





and so with that being said, this is how shocky paid his way thru cal



https://instagr.am/p/BG2c9tghHcW
this **** is getting live#
Bearly Clad
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More recruiting news on the way? Could be a reference to Kalolo or a portal guy or even returning guys for us like Ott

Edit: actually I'm convinced it's about Aaron Hampton out of Anchorage, Alaska. He decommitted from OSU and visited us
Shocky1
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^ cal's monster offensive line (usc is not a family, it's a fake azz bling mirage for dumb azzs & lincoln riley will cut ur throat in a heartbeat)
Shocky1
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and so with that being said...


exclusive footage of shocky as a berkeley student (he a male azz stripper)#

https://instagr.am/p/CyY_3jfpUgI
GMP
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Shocky1 said:

gmp, the oregon & washington board of regents want the instate rivalry games to continue...period

plz enlighten me, is cal subject to the political reach of the oregon & washington board of regents?

why are all the other former pac 12 schools ducking the beavs in future schedules?

why does cal have ZERO scholly players from oregon on the current roster & ZERO commits for the 2024 class from oregon?

why did the athletic director sign a contract against an organization that it's in LITIGATION with right now?

why is cal playing an arguably near 50/50 winning odds opponent instead of a lower mid major mid season at a point in the acc when players need rest & young players need developmental gameday snap?

why are knowlton's enablers not asking questions about the ten million dollar plus loans he's secretly taking out with the central campus instead of cutting costs/bureaucracy & reducing the # of sports programs in a time when future acc revenues are gonna be tens of millions less dollars?

why can't shocky do a handstand?

why does gmp keep thank you notes in storage for a decade or something?


Ok, that last line made me literally LOL.

Shocky1
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gmp brah, ok so we both got some ocd tendencies or something, that don't make us monsters...

GMP
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Shocky1 said:

gmp brah, ok so we both got some ocd tendencies or something, that don't make us monsters...


Just want to make my positions clear:

I like the Oregon State series.

I despise Jim Knowlton and even ordered one of those Fire Jim Knowlton shirts that are floating around Twitter.
Shocky1
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just want to make my positions clear

i like them curvy brunette yoga females from academically mediocre schools that got good ponytails

and so with that being said, shocky hates handstands



JB was a Chieftain
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Page 200 of this magical thread! We've had our ups and downs but thank you Shocky for the entertainment. At the end of the day sports are suppose to be fun and you provide that in this thread. Cheers to the next 200
Shocky1
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jb, u need to grow the **** up or something



every beach in the world is bear territory (including stinson beach high school)#
Shocky1
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and so with that being said (NOBODY within the cal football program reads the MONSTER)#
Fire Starkey
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You need to scout X better for your faux-nuggets of info, Schlocky.

Elijah Robinson is not the head coach of Syracuse, he is the DC. Outstanding bag man/recruiter but no evidence he can coach very well or call defenses, TAMU is 3 deep in high 4* and 5* talent on the DL and they are average-ish overall. "Owns" Phily and New Jersey though so I expect a talent pickup for the Orange, especially if they have a little coin to spread. But he is basically a bagman... not particularly worried about Syracuse as an opponent at present
Shocky1
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a tradition of excellence at the #1 ranked public university in the world#
Shocky1
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fire knowlton, will defer to u on all orangemen football matters moving forward, ok?

but make no mistake about it when cal defeated hometown crowd syracuse at madison square garden with schlocky (wearing his blue cap) kinda candy azz soft stormin" the floor/clapping his hands in victory at the 9 second mark at madison ******* square garden it wuz a bucket list moment

u tell the story, wut?, u tell the whole damn world that NEW YORK CITY is bear territory!





we attack (with new goals in life)#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C0xeqv-OeaF
look, don't tell nobody, but the independence bowl operators gave them ugly azz lubbock raiders ***** welcoming swag/gifts compared to them fit as **** cali bears

it's true, curvy brunette yoga females from academically mediocre schools wanna date & marry cal, stanford & ivy league grads when they enter the real ******* world


wut's ur gpa? (don't be a dumb azz, better to palm a tight azz)#

the university of calveston=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the gambling casino riverboats in shreveport)
Shocky1
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this is cal football (berkeley social activism protecting the most vulnerable in society)#
Shocky1
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california golden bears 78
eastern washington eagles 70

reality is that without #0 this is a slightly above average power conference team that will not make the ncca tournament

period, nothing to see see here

but with +1 athletic michelle onyiah this team can compete with any ******* team in the nation, the decision to not start her is just a really bad decision by coach charmin...onyiah coming off the bench as a fierce defensive presence (ila's lateral footspeed on d is kinda like fardaws) & 12 points on 6 of 7 field goals & 8 boards in only 25 minutes

only 1 foul today (which wuz a random offensive skill when 2 players collided) which wuz a result of michelle playing a foot or two away from her defender instead of right up on them, she can still neutralize them with her length & quickness but can also avoid fouls by not body checking them

4,000+ loud young students at the game, charmin wuz pretty emphatic with her mic statement after the game to the crowd imploring the kids to tell their parents they wanna go to a future wbb game at haas...that's a smart move

but the reality is that basketball attendance for not only the women but also the men (averaging under 3,000 even with an improved team with a high energy coach) is FAILING because of knowlton's handpicked marketing/sales appointment of the dumb as rocks & obstinate markeisha who don't want all berkeley students to attend all basketball and football games for FREE which is basically gonna crush cal's future season tix & donor fanbase pipeline

coaches wilcox, madsen & smith need to DEMAND to knowlton that all students be allowed FREE admission to all cal sporting events, that's a gift to all students many of which are the 1st in their family seeking a college a degree & from limited financially socioeconomic backgrounds for studying at the #1 ranked public university in the world

yeah stupid as **** people make stupid as **** decisions

cal football needs as many fans loudly cheering at memorial stadium in the 2024 innagrual season of the acc, some of those free tix students will someday start venture capital high tech firms & be worth tens of millions of dollars...ask urself, r they gonna donate to cal football then?

worthless bureaucrats in berkeley#
Alkiadt
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You do know finals ended today, right?
Are you sure there were 4,000 students there?
Shocky1
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if u hired goats to work in the athletic dept, u would sell about as many tixs to new fans as the current dumb as rocks burueacrats like markeisha & her sidekick vasileios who r clueless on how to market cal sports to grow the fanbase...their non innovative & lazy azz workday consists of sending out tripe emails pitches to the existing aging fanbase which r usually quickly deleted before the next reruns of perry mason

Shocky1
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Alkiadt said:

You do know finals ended today, right?
Are you sure there were 4,000 students there?
watched the wbb game at haas on livestream, 4000+ bay area elementary very loud students & their teachers for the annual cal's day of rock field trip to berkeley which includes tours of campus for many kids who have never set foot at a college

dream building (starts with a vision of what is possible in life)#
Shocky1
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alky, listen to the crowd noise in the above michelle onyiah video, ok?

it probably hasn't been that loud at haas since shocky & jaylen brown departed along with cal's monster class
Alkiadt
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Shocky1 said:

alky, listen to the crowd noise in the above michelle onyiah video, ok?

it probably hasn't been that loud at haas since shocky & jaylen brown departed along with cal's monster class


Sorry, I skimmed your post and only saw "4,000 students"….
Wasn't aware it was non college students.
Shocky1
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^ no worries, let's hope that today's fun field trip to berkeley (which apparently sold out bart) sparked some future plans to return as college students someday in the future!

if u think the con artist's football gameday learfield promotions announcer got a screeching voice (kinda like adele on acid or something), 4000+ probably sugared up little kids got the same effect +1000
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


cal's monster class recruiting update:

the 2024 best football player from the beautiful state of alaska & recent oregon state decommit 6'1" 190 lbs +1 athlete aaron hampton just took an official visit to cal

aaron is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.4 gpa at anchorage high school whose school cheer talks about frozen igloos or something

the university of califonia, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including alyeska, the last frontier)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

KABOOM

preferred walk on#



cal's monster class (includes the beautiful people & state of alyeska)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


cal's monster class official visit recruiting update:

6'3" 309 lbs notre dame grad transfer defensive tackle aidan ikaika keanaaina from mullen high school in denver is gonna take an official visit to berkeley this weekend

his dad stacey (played hoops at hawaii hilo back in the day) wuz an army brat & didn't raise no dumb azz, aidan got a 4.0 gpa in high school & is gonna graduate this month in south bend with a degree in business administration

keanaaina got 2 years of remaining eligibility to develop with coach browning's attentive mentoring

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including germany & shaq's house)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

family of quick twitch +1 athletes (surf's up on the north shore, food trucks afterwards)#

KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM
KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM
KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM

aidan, ur stacking some pretty amazing universities on your future resume in building generational wealth, go make some beautiful music in wonderfully diverse berkeley

good parenting (in effect, guiding 50 year decisions)#
Bearly Clad
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I never thought I'd be this excited for an encore after a 6/7 win season but damnit the Bears and Ott found a way to do it to me
Shocky1
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let's ******* go (to discount tire & get 4 new bulletproof tires)#
Econ141
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Shocky1
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the magic of cal football#
Shocky1
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shreveport is gonna b the epicenter of the universe tomorrow nite#
Shocky1
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KABOOM#
Shocky1
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da vinci pizzeria at the louvre#
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