Shocky1 said:

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Great watching these guys train today! Hard Work, Works ⁦@_chandlerrogers⁩ ⁦@jordantwatkins⁩ ⁦@BentleyDoo⁩ pic.twitter.com/BpsBBlOX2o

— Sterlin Gilbert (@_CoachGilbert) January 23, 2025

as expected sterlin gilbert is no longer employed by the cal football program even tho he's still listed as the passing game coordinator in the staff directory
https://calbears.com/staff-directory

unfortunately markeisa everrett's lazy azz largess 12 person COMMUNICATIONS department is not only not timely in updating staff changes but also derelict in updating the player roster bios including the particularly relevant information re: berkeley degrees & majors (along with degree information earned at other schools)

you would think behind the complete lack of actual work during the offseason & 40+ hour paid workweeks that keeler mcjunkin, kyle mcrae & cailyn genewick that the 2025 bears roster could be updated in real time

let's be real here, literally nobody reads calbears.com, it's a complete waste of money to staff a 12 person communication department that doesn't actually work or communicate re: the football program...the next athletic director should reduce the size of this bloated department to 3-4 employees with the coaching staffs of all the programs other than football writing their own game summary articles for this site with its limited readership

yet chancellor lyons thinks knowlton is gonna fundraise money to endow all the olympic sports, other than golf & swimming that's not gonna happen (jack clark's rugby program needs to be relegated to club status, he can still compete for national championships against powerhouse life university)

wasting money & then tryna fundraise money is NOT gonna happen in berkeley (or really anywhere else)#

---

Shocks, how did a post that started out being about Sterlin Gilbert devolve into a multi-paragraph rant about Marheisha Everett?

pitts, please reread the above post carefully & an ur answers will be clear to u

https://instagr.am/p/DE0VqyAyrbG
life is not linear#

Shocky1 said:

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pitts, please reread the above post carefully & an ur answers will be clear to u

https://instagr.am/p/DE0VqyAyrbG
life is not linear#

---

Ok, I should have said "Markeisha & Co.", to include JK and JSO. But in my mind, when it comes to your well established opinion on the three of them, then naming 'one' is the same as naming the entire entity. Just thought I would keep it succinct.

berkeley should be a place of CHANGE & INNOVATION (not bureaucratic malaise)#

https://instagr.am/p/C56zhopO0QD
2025 san diego open in la jolla: 2nd round update

michael kim: another 77 in the brutal coastal winds, hit only 13 of 28 fairways with the punishing torrey pines rough, missed cut

max homa: withdrew (+9 after 33 holes) during the high winds stoppage of play in order to fly home to spend time with the fam in scottsdale & work on his game at whisper rock before next week's tournament on the monterrey peninsula

sometimes the t-rex gets u (OUCH)!!#

Cal CB Nohl Williams has outstanding ball skills. But I'm even more impressed with the edge and physicality he put on tape.

This dude competes! Really impressive match up vs. Ayomanor. pic.twitter.com/PnImMdvxPg

— Dane Brugler (@dpbrugler) January 23, 2025

physicality gets u PAID in the billion dollar+ predator national football league (did u work out today??...shocky just went swimming at the village)#

Thank you @CoachSirmon for coming by and meeting the family! pic.twitter.com/NA2GtKPSvh

— Beau Jandreau (@beau_jandreau) January 24, 2025

2026 3.68 gpa 6'1" 210 lbs linebacking terror (14.8 tackles per game) beau jandreau from powerhouse hamilton high school (chandler)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the beautiful people of samoa)

Chaos reigns in the Cal branding department. https://t.co/vu42jKqQkI

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) January 24, 2025

~ Cal Berkeley or bust, baby!

shock ever play a round, or go off-roading nearby, at the O country club with Brunk fils, or ever hung on the Lahaina sea-wall at sundown over Lanai & Moloka'i with Bob Longhi, b.i.t.d.

last great rock song of the original era?

^ pro, shocks is a huge fan of doing the hang on the lahaina seawall by snorkel bob's at sunset enjoying a to go culinary feast of tamura's redunkulously tasty salmon poke

and yeah the monster likes miso soup too...alot!!

https://instagr.am/p/CQAuZUMjYMG
got no opinions re: classic rock or 1800's albanian fashion#

Cal 75, Stanford 72.

Cal women’s basketball has swept Stanford.

An historic moment for this program. pic.twitter.com/3NZuq3Ersf

— Avinash Kunnath (@avinashkunnath) January 24, 2025

california golden bears 75
stanford cardinals 72

ugonne foul watch: moving screen (leads the nation!!) & a hack on a driving card in the 1st quarter resulted in 2 quick fouls & onyiah only playing 6 minutes in the 1st half...3rd quarter foul defending near the bucket & a 4th quarter defensive assault again on a stanford guard entering the paint (bear territory)...once again natalia ackerman in michelle's absence wuz the x factor in the bears victory!!

timeouts: yeah charmin needs to work on her to's, running across the midcourt & making physical contact with a ref is probably not exactly tara textbook coaching

kayla: her heart is bigger than her body & she plays as physcial (but with way better perimeter shooting) as cade uluave!!

The crossover such beauty 😍 pic.twitter.com/6q5GSmsyFd

— Cal Basketball (@CalWBBall) January 24, 2025

marta & jayda: do not **** wit these 2 bad azzs, they set the physical presence/steely demeanor of an elite defensive team...yeah shooting can come & go particularly on the road in hostile venues further afar but lockdown d travels & DEFENSE wins basketball games!!

lulu: let it fly, lulu, let it fly!!

Cal has made 4 of the last 5 FG's in the 2nd quarter.
61% in FG's of the 1st half.#GoBears pic.twitter.com/Iv5nmk3yBJ

— Cal Basketball (@CalWBBall) January 24, 2025

ionna: her legit range is somewhere a couple paces past mid court, krimili is berkeley's own caitlyn clark!!

Splash Sister! ☔@IIkrimili pic.twitter.com/AC4mvdguFz

— Cal Basketball (@CalWBBall) January 24, 2025

lola: plays lockdown d with quick twitch +1 athleticism, gotta really strong handle with very good passing skills/decision making & most importantly is an ice in her veins hawaiian warrior in clutch moments...no moment is is too big for donez, would like to see lola attack the basket off the dribble with her superior athleticism

turnover watch: 18 turnovers (but remarkably only 1 by the entire bench!!) with the majority of them coming late in the 3rd quarter when stanford went to their full court press which trimmed the bears 19 point lead to almost a michgan state kinda tragic loss, defeating the press needs to be the absolute #1 area of focus during the next week of practices...yeah making dumb decisions will result in a **** position



next game: will the cal FAMILY/the greater bay area basketball community show up next week at haas pavillion for the 18-3 california golden bears acc home games hosting #13 north carolina on thursday & pittsburgh on sunday??...is coach wilcox gonna make one of these games a football program bonding event (charmin, u need to call justin tomorrow & extend a personal invitation to him & his team)??



THIS IS WHAT WE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DFMreYNxJe2
the california mother******* golden bears (r on a FUN & special mission)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's awesome, econ, thx for sharing ur 1st wbb experience!!

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/BRt_zeUgt5s
2025 cal football scheduling update:

shocky just got fotos confirming his daughter shay (on the right above next to her sister taylor, graduating from denver law this spring) just got engaged on some romantic exotic azz beach in costa rica or something

anyways, when shocky picks up shay & micah (terrific young man & a talented chef) tomorrow at the airport he's gonna make it very clear to them that they'd better not schedule no wedding that interferes with the monster's fall of 2025 golf/cal football schedule

love you sweetie but u got 2 choices: a bears bye weekend this fall or elope to the elvis wedding chapel in las vegas, ur call!!

---

https://instagr.am/p/DE5ONpzJiiZ
GREAT NEWS!!

shay is NOT gonna ruin shocky's fall golf/cal football travel plans & is gonna get married at a private residence in paradise valley this may!!...still mad at her thoughtless brother whose poorly timed october wedding caused the monster to miss in person the epic 2023 usc oppenheimer game, ***

https://instagr.am/p/DExgcSLvVp8
anyways shay is in freezing azz new york city right now staying with her sister taylor in the west village, they gonna go to kleinfeld bridal to make a wedding dress selection

https://instagr.am/p/DC9btbHupzB
no the monster won't be there (brhhhhh.....cold) but will be available for dress foto reviews & fashionista input

https://instagr.am/p/C1M1bhHuqk_
love u both girly girls!!

-ur dumb azz dad



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including manhattan)

https://instagr.am/p/C8r9U05vuGH
cal men's golf update: coach michael wilson's starting line up for next monday thru wednesday's 1st tournament of the spring at the affluent real estate community of sherwood country club (near the back road to malibu) after 6 qualifying scoring rounds which included brambles, mayacama, wente vineyards & tpc stonbrae is as follows:

1. eric zhou (freshman)
2. tony chen (senior)
3. sihao cong (sophmore)
4. charlie berridge (junior)
5. daniel heo (junior)

both sihao & daniel are from so cal

sherwood is a typical nicklaus design with a high slope/course rating that favors the aerial game but is more FUN than most of his firm's overly penal architorture work due its inclusion of 5 par 3s & 5 par 5s that mostly got risk/reward options...clubbing on the risky par 3s is critical in order to avoid big numbers, targeting the middle of the greens particularly in high winds will require controlled lower ball flight trajectories

hopefully all the bears will be on their best behavior and fill/replace divots/ballmarks & ****



cal is a golf school (with a really good women's basketball team)#

2025 cal's monster class OFFICIAL contest:

the question: can you name/identify the GREATEST (as defined by the highest gpas, don't be a dumb azz) quarterback to wide receiver combination in the history of high school football on planet earth from the video below??

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HSpfrXTJc8xvaPfh_FxtsVa2E0fl_THQ/edit

legal ****: you must be a us citizen or a curvy brunette yoga female from cuba, ibiza or mexico to be eligible for this contest & over the age of 18...those on the cal football staff may not participate unless they submit a binding notarized promissory note that the opening play of the 2025 football season on august 31, 2025 in corvallis oregon will be a PITCHOUT to jaydn ott/jaivian thomas (or really anybody who wuz born in oakland & attended fairfield high school) in wide open space on the edge for a 75 yard touchdown run that is beyond our wildest dreams!!...note that all rules and regulations in this contest may be capriciously ignored at the fully insane discretion of shocky without any rational explanation(s)

contest deadline: the time is NOW for everything

prizes: the WINNER may pick one of these awards

*****lunch with justin wilcox in his memorial stadium office with unlimited nasty azz coffee & stale 30 day old avocado sandwiches with bbq chips plus a signed cal football or helmet

*****a round of golf with shocky at augusta national including a regifted cal men's golf walking bag
https://instagr.am/p/CvVQHgWJzM3
*****a day at the beach including cpr training & a swimming lesson with leidy
https://instagr.am/p/CsukIi2tyZo
*****a singing/spanish lesson from becky g including fashion training on melrose & a late lunch on the patio at nobu malibu
https://instagr.am/p/Cr83NDdOTKu
*****a vip screening of anora with probable 2025 oscar winning best actress mikey matthews including a $250 food credit for a small lunch at erewhon

Our 2025 ACC slate begins in Boston 🗓️#GoBears pic.twitter.com/x45YuOCYmO

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) January 24, 2025

new england in the early fall with the leaves changing colors and the warm days giving way to cooler evenings is gonna be one of the most spectacular golf/cal football roadies evah!!



https://instagr.am/p/CqO_0xgOLQX
the MAGICAL east coast vibe of cal football in 2025 (back to the back bay)#

Thank you @AnaeCoach for stopping by to come and see me @MWCherrington @CalFootball @CoachSteamroll @Coach_Hill2 @Coach_Moore5 @CoachMacsOLine @score4you pic.twitter.com/Cn2A95C9GE

— Bryce Gilmore (@Bryce_73) January 23, 2025

There goes that man again!!!@Bryce_73 fights to finish this 340 lb bench press.

Weighed in at 271 and ran 19 MPH. BIG. STRONG. FAST.#EagleStrong pic.twitter.com/XTsPAU7LIp

— Prosper Eagles Strength & Speed (@ProsperStrength) January 22, 2025

2025 6'5" 280 lbs offensive lineman bryce gilmore from prosper high school (north of the omni pga resort in frisco)#

https://instagr.am/p/DFOUmUIvw7g
the university of calveston=world class academics in the beautiful san francisco bay area without the lousy azz texas weather, just ask buc-ee)

https://instagr.am/p/B34R_WCp67g

Shocky1 said:

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Our 2025 ACC slate begins in Boston 🗓️#GoBears pic.twitter.com/x45YuOCYmO

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) January 24, 2025

new england in the early fall with the leaves changing colors and the warm days giving way to cooler evenings is gonna be one of the most spectacular golf/cal football roadies evah!!



https://instagr.am/p/CqO_0xgOLQX
the MAGICAL east coast vibe of cal football in 2025 (back to the back bay)#

---

Leaf color is still a little early at that point.

Shocky1 said:

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FUN tommy christakos story from back in the day: decide after modern yoga one day to go play golf, so got my clubs in the trunk of shocky's topless wheels & head to the closest course which is talking stick (public facility with a casino & 36 holes designed by my only idol in life bill coore)

get to the 1st tee late in the afternoon & get paired up with 3 beer drinking asu students who like to talk **** so this is gonna be fun, right??...while they ride in carts like lazy azz losers shocky walks & carries his clubs while hydrating with ice cold green bottled perriers & peppers them with friendly questions like "why do you guys ride in carts, did you also park in the handicapped zone in the parking lot???"

shocky is a real charmer

so after a couple holes into our round they notice shocks got a cal golf team headcover & the bears logo etched on his super light black mackenzie leather walking bag...they tell me they got a friend on the cal football team

this is a loose transcript of that conversation:

shocky: so whose your buddy on the cal football team?

3 asu guys: our bro tommy christakos, we all went to chaparral high school together, we talk to him almost every day!!!

shocky: so why don't tommy put on some serious weight & be a pass catching threat tight end?...if he ever wanna get paid in the nfl that's the only way that's every gonna happen, he's never gonna run a 4.3 40 like nfl wide receivers

3 asu guys: honestly, he don't like getting hit that much

shocky: hmmmm...that's too bad, does tommy ever tell you how much hotter girls are in tempe vs berkeley?

3 asu guys (with big smiles): yeah, every ******* time we talk!!!

fist bumps all around

forks up (at modern yoga)#

---

sun devils nation kicking update:

multiple zony bearents are advising the monster that berkeley grad tommy christakos is gonna walk on at asu at the encouragement of special teams coach charlie ragle as a kicker, my guy future all american 4.67 gpa kaynon floyd (only freshman in d1 football to start in 2024) will continue as the devils punter

^^ hear wut ur saying mb but would u wanna roll the dice & trade away the almost guaranteed great new england fall weather on september 27th for a potential freezing azz (snowing possibility) game in late october/early november??

https://instagr.am/p/CVdunjprNaJ
where's the best chowdah in bahstan, maybe the wawa??

Shocky1 said:

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^^ hear wut ur saying mb but would u wanna roll the dice & trade away the almost guaranteed great new england fall weather on september 27th for a potential freezing azz (snowing possibility) game in late october/early november??

where's the best chowdah in bahstan, maybe the wawa??

---

No bad Chowdah in Boston...my personal record I think is 4 days in a row and 4 different places. Had great Chowdah in Quincy too ...
No Wawa's that far north.
First measurable snowfall is, on average, mid November. Let's keep the Cal softness under wraps ("oh, we hate night games in Berkeley, it might get under 70!"), but end of September could be great, I agree...

Pittstop said:

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Who is the new RB coach, Shocks?

---

pitts, hopefully somebody born in oakland!!

The Cal duo, as Teddye Buchanan and Craig Woodson create too tight of a window for the pass connection. #ShrineBowl pic.twitter.com/AeKZ24BnK0

— Thomas Christopher (@ThomasCP_NFL) January 25, 2025

SPEED gets PAID in the national football league (do u got closing SPEED??)#

Finally decided to HANG'EM UP! #RetiredProHooper #GodBlessed pic.twitter.com/Fvoc3Bd3V8

— JOHN TOFI™ (@BIGGTOFF415) January 13, 2019

KAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

while on john jr's official visit right now to berkeley as a 2025 cal commit as an apex predator edge defender his dad 6'9" john sr is also gonna join the bears as an elite defensive kick blocking specialist!!

john sr's exclusive confirmation text to shocky is as follows:

"In light of my non expired football eligibility from my hoops days at UTEP and also my 42 inch vertical box jump as a quick twitch 6'9" +1 athlete I have made the decision to not split up our family on fall gamedays and will therefore be blocking 5+ field goals and extra points next season as a California Golden Bear!!! The key points in my recruitment was Shocky's 100% promise of an uber helicopter for the entire family from the City to Memorial Stadium on gamedays and also the staff's commitment of an extra key to Haas Pavillion to ensure that I can still get up shots on Saturday mornings. Please respect my decision."

wut up tommy, r u gonna go all the way up with the tofi clan and if anybody asks r u gonna point to the berkeley hills??...or r u gonna freeze ur azz off in eugene with level 7 hypothermia until u enter the transfer portal to come home??

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (which is kinda important when the ball stops bouncing)

Hey Shocky:

Way out of the blue (as usual when I ask you a question about your experience at Cal or playing golf): Since certainly nobody on this board loves playing golf as much as you do, did you play for Cal?

Forgive me for not having read all your posts, which is why I ask.

I used to love playing baseball as much as I think you love playing golf (until I was 54 in an adult league called the MSBL), but I never even thought about trying out for the Cal team as an Applied Math major.

Did you have time for golf while at Haas?

pic.twitter.com/xpFAFDJrBg

— Cameron Jourdan (@Cam_Jourdan) January 6, 2025

oso, let's be real here, as a berkeley applied math major ur NOT a dumb azz whether u played baseball or not

as for shockley, he never had anywhere the game to be 35 under par or anything even remotely low enough to become a walk on for the cal men's golf team, **** no!!

great (or even really good) golfers are dedicated to practicing, shocky got zero interest in spending time on the range & short game areas unless it's giving honest feedback to another golfer at their request...the monster's love of the game is walking the links & traveling around the globe playing the world top 100 golf courses as a lifelong student of golf course architecture, fellow north scottsdale resident bill coore is my only idol in life (shocky has email relationships with every significant living architect including doak, hanse, etc.)
https://top100golf.blogspot.com/2006/01/people-who-have-played-top-100-golf.html

shocky's lowest round evah wuz a 69 in a fiercely contested match (ever dollah the monster has evah won on a golf course has been donated to rescue doggy dog advocacy facilities) on the back tees at the phoenician (6400 yards, shocky once went naked water sliding there well past the midnite hour)

yeah clothes (and cold weather/level 7 hypothermia) is for losers, nothing mysterious about that

https://instagr.am/p/Cw1BdFkRWQD

Michelle Onyiah comes on to the Cal fan bus to thank us for making the trip! Such a wholesome moment, literally her biggest fan! #GoBears pic.twitter.com/PuMgzERkFb

— Justin Marc Alvarez (@alvarez_justin2) January 24, 2025

THIS IS WHAT WE DO (coach up/develop michelle ugonne onyiah for FREE)!!#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that just relentlessly pursue their DREAMS without whining/complaining)

the transfer portal: the bears have 100% benefited from the portal, the # of impact players coming in greatly outnumbers the # of impact players departing

the only exception to this is the kicking game where longwell's ongoing mismanagement of the room has resulted in 4.0 gpa mateen bhaghani (even after the monster got involved with the staff at the request of mateen's parents, it's possible shocky got better relationships with more bearents than wilcox) getting running off despite his collin morikawa like unreal accuracy with ice in his veins clutch dna & haas biz school ambitions along with not building a strong enough personal relationship with 4.0 gpa longsnapper david bird to pass on the upfront alabama nil dollars vs the longterm value of a berkeley degree which financially surpasses the economic value of a tide money bag

the "insiders" wuz tole that ryan coe had a "bigger leg" than mateen & they along with wilcox mindlessly spread this disinformation at cal donors events to naive old blues...wut they didn't realize (unlike shocky who got numerous sources within the tight knit kicking community that does not view longwell favorably) is that coe is a high strung individual (think of a tightly wound marine recruit that's fired up) unlike the cerebal low blood pressure bhaghani & not mentally equipped for big moments

https://instagr.am/p/DCLTNyaR7aA
now that frank novak has been hired as the s&c coach to reverse the wildly abnormal # of INJURIES the new #1 issue facing the california golden bears for the upcoming 2025 is the kicking game...and the #2 issue, the development of the offensive line with the trusted meeks, isn't even close

just like the bears lost multiple games in 2024 due to field goal kicking **** ups, the 2025 room is arguably even potentially worser

longwell has assembled the following cast to replace the entire room:

kicker: new scholly kicker got beat out by another kicker at a mid major school
punter: new scholly punter never kicked a single punt at a mid major school
longsnapper: the new scholly snapper got recruited over at washington
holder: maybe the wildly creative vals or trevor the tackling machine, who knows??

honestly wilcox & cherrington have turned over the entire kicking game operations to longwell for unfathomable reasons, the success or failure of the 2025 fall season in large part will be hinging on the performance of the kicking room

and that's a shame

real talk (this is how u get censored)#

Berkeley representation in DFW! 🐻@CalFootball | #ShrineBowl pic.twitter.com/0HgQki4vlX

— East-West Shrine Bowl (@ShrineBowl) January 26, 2025

50 year friendships#

Great day on the field with former NFL kicker, Giorgio Tavecchio! Below is rolling film of 15 consecutive punt snaps with blocking left and right. @TheChrisRubio @CruzARubio pic.twitter.com/Wtg2t5ZHXK

— Giancarlo Cereghino (@GiancarloC48) December 29, 2024

cal offer to 2026 3.5 gpa 6' 205 lbs longsnapper giancarlo cereghino from caldecott tunnel high school, giancarlo is the #3 ranked snapper in the nation

Snapping // Top Charting Performers
Kohl's National Underclassman Challenge#KohlsUCC

➡️ Full Results: https://t.co/SofAdzx1ut pic.twitter.com/8eAL3BskKj

— Kohl's Snapping Camps (@KohlsSnapping) January 17, 2025

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including moraga)

Shocky1 said:

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Michelle Onyiah comes on to the Cal fan bus to thank us for making the trip! Such a wholesome moment, literally her biggest fan! #GoBears pic.twitter.com/PuMgzERkFb

— Justin Marc Alvarez (@alvarez_justin2) January 24, 2025

THIS IS WHAT WE DO (coach up/develop michelle ugonne onyiah for FREE)!!#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that just relentlessly pursue their DREAMS without whining/complaining)

---

💙💛 these Bears, and ...@CalWBBall @accwbb #Calgorithm https://t.co/5ycOg4Vd0S pic.twitter.com/ImOhAzxD4C

— hoopdreams 🐻💙💛 (@hoopdreams1000) January 25, 2025

Shocky1 said:

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JET STREAM 💨@JaivianThomas goes untouched for the 75-yard score!

📺 @TheCW #GoBears | #ALLIN pic.twitter.com/zRznd1qG7c

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) November 16, 2024

^ fun fact: on the above td sprint jt is running straight at his moms!!

the following is a loose transcript of a conversation a couple of rows above the north end zone of memorial stadium before the syracuse game kick off:

shocky (fist bumping everyone in the fam): where did you grow up?

javona thomas (javian's moms): grew up in oakland just like my son

shocky: how's javian doing in the classroom and wut's his major?

javona: jaivian loves berkeley and he's majoring in kinesiology and wants to become a physical therapist, he wants to give back to his community!!

shocky: that's awesome!!...are you a fan of all the interior run calls, would you like to see more PITCHOUTS?

javona: would definitely like to see some PITCHOUTS!!

shocky: ima gonna quote you on that, ok?

javona: you do that!!

shocky (saying goodbye to the fam with them all smiling/laughing): THE JETT!!!! is a star star star star star star

---

Triple Option pic.twitter.com/QhnbP2AnDl

— Don Grizzell, Ph.D. (@golDonbear) January 26, 2025

shocky's running backs (and rb coach) r from cali (and they do this **** with NO EFFORT)!!#