Was just coming to post that the average starting OL weight is about 320lbs! Beef!!!

jb=world renowned berkeley mathematician

real talk: the now departed multi year FAILING s&c coach and his staff LIED (with the head coach looking the other way) about the actual weights of the cal football team in tryna to cover up the lack of body developments so any comparison of this year's coach novak's tirelessly developed 319 lbs average to last year's o-line would be bad ******* math

shocky spoke to o-line starter will mcdonald (and his dad) during the FUN postgame stanford victory celebration on the field at memorial stadium last november...those of u that know the monster know that he got no problem asking everybody on planet earth wut's their gpa & weight...under typical shocky interrogation will admitted that he wuz actually 278 lbs and not the "295" lbs he wuz listed in the program and that he had never been over 280 lbs in his entire life...we both laughed about his listed "6'4" height since he wuz maybe only a couple of inches taller than me (collin morikawa height)

just like the monster tole u about the ****tards in the athletic department starting with knowlton for years, shocky also tole that u that the #1 issue holding back the football program wuz wilcox refusing to terminate a failing s&c coach that wuz a bravely recovering cancer survivor but not around enuf to hold players & his assistant s&c coaches accountable which resulted in wildly undersized offensive lines

the trouble with the mainstream media is that they won't tell u the truth because they either don't know the truth or that they are unwilling to tell the truth because they r afraid of losing access or something & that's why NOBODY has evah answered justin about the details of mateen bhaghani's departure from berkeley to westwood...shocky don't got no social filter so cal's monster class will be thy unvarnished truth (from his perspective)

and yeah the cal men's golf team other than z & charlie (it's NOT a coincidence that they are the current best players) and incoming 2026 commit ELITE parisian callixte alzas is scrawny as **** because they don't track their daily protein grams intakes like pga golfers and the team's s&c coach is currently ignoring my emails tryna start a conversation about the underweight squad & the necessity of nutrition education i.e. the role of daily protein grams

ok shocky don't ask everybody their gpa & other personal metrics...

https://instagr.am/p/DJyioBvATeD
stfu shocky (u don't know ****)#

oregon state update:

piece of **** exodus ayers who wuz caught on doorbell video cam physically abusing his girlfriend is gonna be cb1 for the beavs against the bears on saturday nite

**** oregon state (and their low gpa & ethical standards football program)#

How did Saffell "underperform" last year? Jack Endries and the TE group was the only group that didn't underperform the entire year!

He's also a great recruiter

Did Cypress Point Club ditch one of the world's great cliffside par 4s to accommodate the 17-Mile Drive?

Join us on our YouTube channel at 8 PM ET tonight for the premiere of our @WalkerCup preview video and more on this golf mecca. pic.twitter.com/eaVfZASiMs

— Fried Egg Golf (@fried_egg_golf) August 25, 2025

shocky is often asked (even by his own kids) what do we talk about at our g2c2 (global golf centurion club, must play one of the golf magazine world top 100 lists to secure an invitation, schulzie has played the last 17 world lists) get togethers like the one a week or so ago in boston at myopia hunt, the new coore & crenshaw design in bolton and the country club at brookline??

it's in depth architectural discussion **** like the above video!!

geoff shackelford (ucla grad) is a driving force in getting the fazio ruinivation outta riviera in the pacific palisades & restoring the george thomas architectural magic at the BIG 3 in los angeles

wut r u passionate about, if it's truly cal football then the epicenter of ur fandom is memorial stadium on fall gamedays & maybe even the epic roadies that are further afar in hostile venues, do u got ur tix(s)??...and keep in mind that the days of the bears playing bigtime football (got ZERO interest in following the program if they play in the west coast athletic conference with roadies to fresno state & colorado state) could be numbered if the team don't WIN, shocky is gonna celebrate every ******* second of this 2025 season in person like it's the final second!!

https://instagr.am/p/DCw_bwAysdN
passively watching on tv (like bobo & trumpanzee) is for losers (our time on planet earth is finite)#

^^ lifer, shocky is lobbying for the gregarious fellow haas biz ad grad to be the future head coach in waiting kinda like teen spirit dilly at asu who has relentlessly energized the program with his outgoing personality (cal's head coach is an introvert) & fundraised a bazillion dollars for the sun devils football program!!

but with that being said mike has made a lotta recruiting mistakes with non athletic guys like asher alberding that couldn't run, guys that couldn't compete in the berkeley classrooms like camden jones & honestly kinda wasted the talent of +1 athletic corey dyches last season...and it will be very interesting to see how socially & academically adaptive (or not) true freshman jacob houseworth is to berkeley

the tight end room including the fabulously receiving threat jack endries did not BLOCK in 2024 & that needs to change this fall if the bears are gonna successfully run the ******* ball and win football games

in mike saffell we trust (in turning the keys over the keys to the cal football program in the future)#

https://instagr.am/p/DN3Ow2QWsvU
KAAAABBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!

fellow haas biz ad grad collin morikawa is gonna be on his 3rd ryder cup team representing the united states of america on long island next month on golf's largest stage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/DN3QPHO2qjs
so wut needs to happen next??

1) shocky & slim wadie need to get our american team gear assembled for attending the 1st round of the ryder cup on friday september 26th at bethpage black while visiting my daughter taylor in the west village before driving up to the back bay on saturday september 27th for the 7:30 pm kick off vs boston college

2) cal fans need to get their tixs to the procore tournament at silverado on september 11th thru the 14th which supports local napa charities in a big way to loudly support both collin & 2 time champion max homa...yeah wine country is gonna be ******* bear territory & hopefully morikawa will gain strokes putting on the greens!!

3) collin, u need to schedule a couple of days of vacay with kat in manhattan (fouquet's is the new HOT SPOT in the city) right after the ryder cup & then make low key pre major course visits to both 2026 us open site shinnecock hills in the hamptons & 2026 pga championships site aronomink in philly the following week, got it??...do u wanna win a ******* 3rd MAJOR or not??

https://instagr.am/p/DN3Oy3GWkZ2
https://instagr.am/p/DNkjLJqiajZ
CONGRATS to 2026 phenom commit callixte alzas on his selection to the euro junior ryder cup team that will also compete on long island next month!!

https://instagr.am/p/DN1ylMr0pYD
it's a GREAT day to be a bear (unless ur world ranked freshman xihuan chang is hitting u in the back with practice shots)!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DLDjFTfB9Wz
memo to the cal football recruiting staff: berkeley is the #1 ranked public university in the WORLD (not just the united states), got it??

and forbes ranked berkeley better than harvard, wowza!!

where the **** is truck stop town oklahoma state in these rankings??

Not only did Forbes today rank Cal as the #1 public university in American, we also came in at #5 overall - one spot ahead of Harvard. And it was nice of Forbes to feature a photo of a tower designed by a Cal alum, architect Arthur Brown, Class of 1896. https://t.co/hQaMqrqA0d

— Cal Bears History (@CalBearsHistory) August 27, 2025

it's a GREAT day to be a bear!!$

All 4 Cal players who were drafted made their NFL’s teams 53 man roster after yesterdays cuts

Teddye Buchanan, Ravens
Marcus Harris, Titans
Nohl Williams, Chiefs
Craig Woodson, Patriots

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) August 27, 2025

https://instagr.am/p/DMp46OKMZJd
CONGRATS, building generational wealth thru a berkeley diploma AND getting PAID in the NFL!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/DN1cFyN6sk3
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (and ranked by forbes as better than ******* harvard, wowza didn't see that coming!!)

We have our first official two-deep for @UNMLoboFB vs. Michigan, which of course doesn’t produce a two-deep.

This works. #GoLobos pic.twitter.com/UCoePncCSS

— New Mexico Lobos (@UNMLOBOS) August 26, 2025

shocky would've listed 2025 oscar's best actress award winner mikey madison as tight end 1!!

yeah 2025 oscar's best movie award winner anora made shocky laugh (and cry)...where's the ******* ring??



director sean baker (an intergalactic creative talent) is making the best movies on planet earth right now#

https://instagr.am/p/DN3U1oq4kYr
cal's monster class best advice for berkeley freshman:

if ur gonna have late nite naked azz yoga with a very flexible curvy brunette yoga female from national city at evans diamond (because both of u got ******* roommates that r always ******* around & don't give u no privacy or something) make sure u use the 3rd base dugout wall which is less visible than the 1st base dugout to anyone who might be looking out the window at haas arena & don't let ur heart get broken when she walks u to the car forevah telling u that she still loves u but also telling u the lame sorry azz excuse that's she flunking outta berkeley & gotta focus on her academics and then despite all of that unfair devastation to u she finds time 2 years later to pose in playboy's girls of the pac 10 with her airport landing strip in full view for everybody on planet earth which u learn about while stuffing ur face with a pineapple & ham pizza slice at blondies on a tuesday afternoon prepping for ur next haas biz ad class



yeah shocky is a big fan of william faulkner



dreams & nightmares in beserkley (trauma is part of life & u will probably survive)#

https://instagr.am/p/CbEEt-YLtpB
duke blue devils 45
elon phoenix 17

offensively the devils qb1 tulane transfer darian mensah (a native of san louis obispo, **** paul, susan & ruben flores) made a strong debut with a highly accurate 27 of 34 passing for 389 yards & no interceptions

look the duke blue devils (1-0) got high gpa students (and some with good ponytails) but it's hard to evaluate a game with an opponent that shocky don't even know where the **** they are from or anything...the dukies battle next week hosting #11 illinois will give us a better idea of the acc opponent traveling to berkeley on october 4th

🤯🤯🤯

WHAT A PICK BY @mgonser5 🤘@UBFootball | #MACtion pic.twitter.com/GIZrTXI0sF

— MACtion (@MACSports) August 29, 2025

minnesota golden gophers 23
buffalo bulls 10

offensively gophers redshirt freshman qb1 drake lindsey is strong armed but got poor throwing mechanics (tossing the ball off his back foot while leaning backwards, not following thru in his passing motion), is an immobile statue when pressured & threw a half a dozen passes that could've been swiped by THE TAKERS

despite an all american rb1 in darius taylor minnesota's offensive line is big but SLOW as **** & susceptible to gap blitzes in the passing game

defensively the gophers are big 10 strong & physical but wuz competing against a short azz bulls qb1 that couldn't attack the middle 3rd of the field in the vertical passing game because of his height which will not be a problem for the bears...and the gophers dbs are collectively slow in closing on the ball

.@victorsnow13 for 6 🤘@UBFootball | #MACtion pic.twitter.com/LvnR1A5hRw

— MACtion (@MACSports) August 29, 2025

the acc vs big 10 showdown on september 13th at memorial stadium vs them minnesota gophers (1-0) is gonna be hard fought game by 2 defensive minded head coaches, do u got ur tix(s)??

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

I saw Hunter caught a touchdown for Nebraska earlier. I liked that kid dang it

hair, yeah nzyiah got football skillz but wuz struggling academically in berkeley & at the end of the day didn't wanna read books & ****

missing guys on the cusp of flunking out seems kinda pointless, good luck to hunter with his nfl dreams

https://instagr.am/p/DN33429EXX3
san diego state aztecs 42
stony brook seawolves 0

the only reason the san diego state aztecs (1-0) scheduled the seawolves and not the caldecott tunnel high school's girls junior varsity cross country team is because the runners wuz already committed to helping the scrawny azz cal men's golf team lifting boxes, moving furniture and opening really tight gatorade twist caps

and yeah that beach baby from national city don't remember no game or wearing my ring or really anything

fun fact: legoland high school in carlsbad is now the #1 cali pipeline feeder school for the california golden bears football program (just ask luke ferrelli)!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including the bird rock bandits)

Red zone INT for Cal commit Jayden Crowder! Big play for the 2026 recruit. @CalBearsOn3 pic.twitter.com/Wxd1J0cdro

— Matt Moreno (@MattRMoreno) August 29, 2025

2026 3.4 gpa lockdown db jayden crowder gotta opportunity to earn a starting job in berkeley as both of the bears cb1s paco austin & hezekiah masses along with cb2 ja'ir smith for the oregon state battle tomorrow nite are seniors

adding muscle to jayden's current lean 5'11" 170 lbs frame will be essential in order to violently compete in the acc physical run game d, the closing on the ball & **** skillset is already there for the future TAKER who wanna get drafted & PAID in the NFL

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including the pirates of the carribean at dizzyland)

No more sweeping pic.twitter.com/YfBqr95Me7

— Byeong Hun An (@ByeongHunAn) August 27, 2025

byeong hun an update: ben is contemplating dumping the long azz broomstick putter in favor of a conventional putter

https://instagr.am/p/DN7Tw7Ujq0G
cal's mens golf update:

qualifying round at the fabulously gil hanse reimagined lake merced in san francisco for the team's upcoming folds of honor 1st tournament in michigan september 8th-10th

the program since the days of hall of fame coach des operates like the pga tour with traveling squads earned via meritocracy with the lowest scores wearing the cal lids in competition & no favoritism (like the bull**** longwell/wilcox choosing their boy ryan coe over mateen bhaghani)...right now there are 8 players on the roster, 6 are straight up dogs, 1 is talented but maybe don't got the work ethic to get to the next level & 1 is a true freshman in a huge developmental mode that wuz maybe a stretch to get a scholly based on his non remarkable junior amateur results...who is gonna ******* outwork the competition, only u will determine where ur game is gonna be tomorrow (the scores will speak for themselves loud & clear), got it??

callixte, san francisco is the most european vibe city in the world, u will feel at home away from the parisian city of lights at the #1 ranked public university in the world working to be another global traveling california golden bear competing at the cathedrals of golf on the game's largest stages

c'est la vie mon ami!!...yeah that's bella hadid in the cobalt blue suit, she needs to smile more when she sees shocky at opera garnier or something

https://instagr.am/p/B7bdckuDhlD

On a flight where 5/16 seats are sporting cal gear. Let's go!

that's awesome ben, is doms on ur flight??

https://instagr.am/p/CI4rcg3jXEO

https://instagr.am/p/DN83AsJkrqu
message to the co-athletic ****tards jay larson and jennifer simon-o'neil

tryna sell the student combo pass to lower socioeconomic with massive scholly debt students that don't got rich parents (like my poor as **** tiger moms from san francisco matriculating at berkeley back in the day) has not worked in the ******* past & it's not gonna work this ******* year again, got it??

why the **** can't u comprehend that berkeley's incoming freshmen class is full of students who NEVER went to a single high school football or basketball game during high school while focusing on achieving 4.5+ gpas in their successful quests to gain berkeley admissions??

or the international students who have never ever been a single football or basketball games in their lives and don't even know the ******* rules of these foreign to them sports games??

cal men's basketball wuz 17th in the acc in attendance (outta 18 teams) last season & the texas southern season football opener projected attendance #s are indicating more tarps than loud students and honestly that's just ****** up

do u mother******* evah listen to anybody??

FREE tixs for ALL students is the only solution to selling out games now with a loud & hostile homefield/court advantage & building a robust pipeline to future season tix buyers & Builders of Berkeley donors!!

rich, not inclusively inviting ALL berkeley students to celebrate together the magic of cal football & basketball is not only alienating generations of future grads (who will later view their relationship with berkeley as transactional without an emotional connection when they build generational wealth) who will never be able to afford these games now but also their children who are not fooled by fundraising solicitations written by fair weather bureaucrats who only wanna be ur friend when u got mucho ******* dinero, got it??

shocky will gaze over the cliffs of doom & walk thru hot lava to his death with those that were riding with him from day ******* one (and most people r probably wired that way too)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DNYmzhNJVhw
this **** is really NOT that ******* complicated#

https://instagr.am/p/DN9IFwdkqV_
cal's monster class OFFICIAL letter to everyone involved with the football program

wut up brahs (and vals too)??

r u gonna VIOLENTLY play ur hearts out tomorrow nite in corvallis with ZERO plays off or is this gonna be another ******* disappointing candy azz soft .500 season??

and just as importantly is the senior leadership gonna teach the young ones the lyrics to cal's monster class OFFICIAL fight song??





yeah shocky paid his way thru berkeley doing this ****...it seemed like at the time a more FUN way to earn money than a paper route or something



and with that being said our time on planet earth is finite so LET'S ******* GO in corvallis & light that **** up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

best regards

shocky

WE ROCKIN WIT MARK‼️#GoBears pic.twitter.com/VMosxaDYX4

— don grizzell, ph.d. (@golDonbear) August 27, 2025

white people r funny!!#

the year of the fullback (cal football is outta time, it's NOW or never baby)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including a country where they turned back time like morocco)#

https://instagr.am/p/DHMXQOZSfE6
ALI


FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: the ponytail of course, don't be a dumb azz!!

MOST OVERRATED PACIFIC NORTHWEST FOOD: voo doo donuts, they taste like ******* cardboard!!

IDEAL LIFE PARTNER: a berkeley, stanford or ivy league grad with a yoga/meditation practice & good hygiene

TURN ONS: a guy who don't watch any professional team sports on tv that would rather go shopping, walk our rescue doggy dogs up the mountain for a hike with the baby stroller or do late nite naked azz swimming with me (basically my personal pool/massage boy)

#1 FUTURE PLAN: get the **** outta corvallis the day after graduation!!

Shocky1 said:

---

hair, yeah nzyiah got football skillz but wuz struggling academically in berkeley & at the end of the day didn't wanna read books & ****

missing guys on the cusp of flunking out seems kinda pointless, good luck to hunter with his nfl dreams

---

Nyziah Hunter entered the Portal on Dec. 10, the exact same day Bryon Harsin was announced as OC and Burl Toler was fired.

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DIRs5juybwL
calalum, would suggest reading the monster's posts more carefully, shocky has noted that hunter made the only memorable wide receiver block of the 2024 season in front of the cal bench at the auburn game...as for gpas, shocky edits "3.0+ gpas" to the actual gpas when players leave the program early without a berkeley degree...hunter's actual gpa at north salinas high school wuz a 2.8 gpa which made him an academic silver bullet admissions acceptee

nyziah sat out his first season in berkeley while working to acclimate academically in berkeley & then bailed the following fall right after the final bears game...shocky spoke to nyziah after that game on the field during the stanford big game celebration, he is very likable but wuz evasive when i asked him wut direction he wuz leaning towards in declaring a berkeley major which is a red flag that he wuz already academically checked out & gonzo

as a person of color u might be interested to know that nebraska gotta fraudulent "child, youth and family studies" major that the football program funnels a significant # of low gpa black young men into that lack academic ambition in order to keep them eligible (this **** is NOT acceptable to me or dr harry edwards who has been vocal re: the exploitation of black young men by college football factories like nebraska)...my source on this is a mega cornhuskers donor (his name rhymes with mellencamp) who regularly hosts me at the all world sand hills in mullen which is arguably the best golf course built in the world in the last 100 years

nyziah got a high college upside with his well constructed body & above average speed but lacks the hands of nfl wideouts or elite 4.35 40 speed

hunter's future with a kinda worthless nebraska degree will be maintenance supervisor at the steinbeck house in salinas & if he drops outta college early to chase a nfl dream then he's probably just looking at moving boxes & **** when buc-ee's hopefully expands to the monterey peninsula

https://instagr.am/p/C77i5Hiyg4a
nebraska got zero interest in their football players/disposable gladiators futures (and no 50 year plan)#

---

calalum, on december 10th of last year nyziah knew he wuz flunking outta berkeley (and that there wuz a ZERO chance he could follow his position coach to ucla) & shocky picked up on several holes during a high stakes match on scottsdale national's bad azz par 3 nine (the most difficult par 3 course on planet earth) but got a 32 oz green juice at sprouts on the way home & pooped like a race horse!!

https://instagr.am/p/B8ovzLJJuu0

Clovis North’s Tyree Sams with one of the best interceptions I’ve captured #SCtop10 #ESPN #football pic.twitter.com/1Omin8RCRZ

— Jason Takhtadjian (@realjasonsarkis) August 30, 2025

2026 3.3 gpa cal commit +1 athletic playmaker on both sides of the ball tyree "reekus" sams!!

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and a less than 3 hour drive for the fam on fall gamedays, how far is tuscon??)

https://instagr.am/p/C_n5OP4NC6y
como tele vous, callixte??

CONGRATS on being named to the european junior ryder cup team as the #1 player in points earned qualifying!!

looking at ur schedule ur gonna play team matches at nassau country club (good not great architecturally) on long island the first 2 days before moving over to bethpage black for singles matches on thursday september 25th

if u wanna meet monsieur shocky just let coach wilson know that (don't worry he's not that busy, NOT tracking daily protein grams for his squad saves him a lotta time in his day) & u can join me & slim wadie at liberty national for a late afternoon game after ur morning singles matches...yeah we'll take the club's ferry from wall street across the water past lady liberty (designed by french sculptor frederic auguste bartholdi, the statue wuz a gift of friendship from the french people to the united states, merci beaucoup) to the clubhouse

or we can just meet up on friday september 26th at the 1st day of the 2025 ryder cup by the black's 1st tee box for berkeley grad collin morikawa's match with 50,000+ crazy azz new yorkers!!

or the 3rd option would be to join us for the FUN drive (tho taylor likes to take control of the music) from manhattan to the back bay for the saturday september 27th cal vs boston college football (not soccer) game at 7:30 pm & hopefully meet up with my yoga buddy jaylen brown (he's a pretty good basketball player that shocky recruited to berkeley back in the day) too!!

me & slim wadie r usually pretty easy to spot in a crowd but for some reason most people remember my daughter taylor better, yeah we'll take a selfie with all 4 of us, tres bon mon ami!!

https://instagr.am/p/BzE7ogODP1p
the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (including paris, san francisco & new york city)

One of California’s finest 🍷

Collin Morikawa is coming to Napa! pic.twitter.com/M0AXVnTCUa

— Procore Championship (@ProcoreChamp) August 30, 2025

KAAAAABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

ryder cupper collin morikawa is gonna be joining 2 time tourney champion max homa in napa in 2 weeks!!!!!!

morikawa has not played in the bay area since his 2020 pga championship victory at harding park & realistically won't compete again locally until the 2028 pga championship at the olympic club's lake course, this is ur opportunity to cheer on ur fellow california golden bears in wine country!!

in a perfect world the pga will accommodate shocky's request for max & collin to be paired together~~

a side feature of this tournament will be the first 2 round pairings of threesomes which no doubt captain keegan will work with the pga tour staff to ensure that his most likely ryder cup pairings are playing together, shocky's projections (keep in mind that piece of **** 9/11 terrorist financed liv exhibition golfer dechambo will not be allowed to play & xander has not yet committed to the procore tournament) are:

*****scheffler & burns, texas bros
*****schauffele & cantlay, the sad man's slow play will drive their euro competitors crazy
*****henley & english, georgia bulldawgs

after that, wut's ur guesses??

https://instagr.am/p/CHgr4MYnmhP
do u wanna go late afternoon bike riding in yountville??#

https://instagr.am/p/DNS87e-oOih
boston college eagles 66
fordham rams 10

offensively bc's qb1 dylan lonergan is a mistake free high accuracy short range passer (average completion today for 7.9 yards) but lacks arm strength to get the ball downfield in the vertical passing game...after losing 3 offensive lineman to the nfl the eagles averaged only 2.5 yards per rush on 39 attempts against a lower division undersized rams d...do not be fooled by the 66 points, the bc offense is not explosive

defensively the front 7 is good not great with assignment/leverage proficiency with the defensive backs the strength of the swarming physical d

the september 27th roadie to chestnut hill is gonna be a battle, the boston eagles (1-0) only had 1 penalty for 15 yards with 0 turnovers this afternoon & are not gonna beat themselves

Flying high#NEXTLEVEL | 🦅 pic.twitter.com/FUMZwZruYT

— Boston College Football (@BCFootball) August 30, 2025

ALL. THE. WAY!!! 💨#GoCards pic.twitter.com/DjXhiS3HgT

— Louisville Football (@LouisvilleFB) August 30, 2025

louisville cardinals 51
eastern kentucky colonels 17

yeah the cal staff didn't learn **** about the louisville cardinals (1-0) in this kentucky fried chicken in state battle for the angioplasty trophy but 2 things are clear: the cards gotta lotta +1 athletes at every position & qb1 miller moss (17 of 25 passing for 223 yards with 2 interceptions) gotta hot moms (stanford grad)

but make no mistake about the california golden bears roadie in the cold kentucky rain on november 8th could be the toughest match up of the 2025 season

https://instagr.am/p/DJC_lL9OdeD
virginia cavaliers 48
coastal carolina chanticleers 7

offensively the hoos undersized qb1 (listed as 6', he's actually sub 6', 192 lbs) north texas transfer chandler morris completed 19 of 27 passes for 264 & no interceptions while the cavs rushed for 164 yards...will morris be able to see passing lanes against taller acc defenders without moving outta the pocket?

defensively the cavs limited the visitors to only 254 yards of offense

next week's game at north carolina state will be a better indicator of the virginia cavaliers (1-0) team visiting visiting memorial stadium on november 1st

the toughest loss of the cal's monster class era wuz at charlottesville in a loud & very hostile sold out 15,000 john paul jones arena (pregame we toured the unreal state of the art basketball only practice facility) against a then top 10 ranked tony bennett coached squad which featured 4 future nba ballers on each team's starting line up

so we're tied up when my 7'1" boy kingsley okoroh is intentionally hacked near the bucket after a clever entry pass by the bird to prevent a thunderous slam dunk to give the bears a lead in the final minute or so...ivan, t-wall & jaylen along with cuonzo & the staff are pumping up okoroh with encouragement during the time out while the virginia band loudly plays their fight song

as cal men's basketball 1st general manager shocky is sitting in the 1st row behind the bears bench & says to his seat mate next to him a very anxious coach's wife, "roberta, we're in good shape, the king can knock down one of these free throws, right??"

roberta got her head in her hands like a schoolgirl & without looking up at me shakes her head quickly no

ruh roh

the king bricked both free throws (not even close) & the bears lost

"it's gooooooood to be the kingggggggggggggg!!!!!!!" (shocky & taylor's greeting always made our gentle giant smile from ear to ear)#

https://instagr.am/p/DAEWqtCP_x6
smu mustangs 42
east texas a&m lions 13

offensively only 400 yards against some rando fracking oil field directional school in texas while turning the ball over 3 times

defensively the mustangs gave up 244 yards in the air to a qb1 that's NOT from ewa beach

yeah the smu mustangs (1-0) visiting them california golden bears at memorial stadium for the 2025 season finale could have some real ******* implications!!
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prairie view a&m panthers 22
texas southern tigers 21

are chancellor lyons & general manager rivera gonna announce on monday that ALL berkeley students are inclusively invited to celebrate with their classmates the aloha spirit debut of JKS at memorial stadium with FREE tixs??

will cal's lazy azz sofa brigade led by general trumpanzee (who has never attended a game in berkeley) finally get to memorial stadium this saturday to support the bears??

will the texas southern band outperform the legendary performance of the grambling band as the greatest halftime show in the history of cal football??

do u got ur tix(s) for this saturday, r u gonna represent the 9th island??

if shocky storms the field if the bears win, will u follow him to the center of the universe (midfield at memorial stadium on gamedays)??

https://instagr.am/p/DOAma3xji3l
^ the best victory chant in worldwide athletics, honestly gives me chill bumps hearing this ****!!!!!!!

california golden bears 34
oregon state beavers 15

JKS: the humble 3.75 gpa lefty from ewa beach led his team from the jump, he is always SMILING so coach harsin can keep his gameday scowl, huge props to bryan & rolo getting their true freshman prepared without overly complicating ****

Welcome to the show, JKS! @JaronKeawe ➡️ @MasonMini4 for the Bears' first TD of the season and the first of his collegiate career for our freshman QB.

📺 https://t.co/zmUxiXxHNw#SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/pUYIowqfdQ

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 31, 2025

cade uluave: an all american in every sense of the word (except for golf where he's a journeyman pro struggling on the yucatan peninsula mini tour but at least some of his curvy brunette female fans es muy caliente!!)

cal's monster offensive line: overall played a pretty good game with a much stronger mentality to dominate than at any point of a bears o-line during the last decade...gotta love sioape vatikani's VIOLENT pancake block late in the 4th quarter!!

special teams: when's the last time the bears won the special teams battle with an opponent, yeah probably when jfk wuz banging marilyn monroe in the white house or something...huge props to #11 dayday aupiu on initiating a monster collision on special teams & abram murray drilling a 49 yard field goal!!...fun fact: love longsnapper rino monteforte enthusiastically running downfield in punt coverage like he got a piano on his back or something!!

THE TAKERS: paco austin & hezekiah masses are the real ******* deal but would like to see the safeties tackle better & play with more energy downfield

Zeke got that INT ✅

Hezekiah Masses picks off OSU to get the Bears offense back out on the field.

📺https://t.co/zmUxiXxHNw#SmartAndTough #GoBears pic.twitter.com/xz6ac9LTQC

— Cal Football (@CalFootball) August 31, 2025

clock management: coach wilcox let 17 seconds burn off the clock from 29 to 12 seconds left at the end of the 1st half despite holding 2 timeouts, justin gotta do better in year 9 as a head coach

wide receivers: gotta hold on to the football, left a lotta yards & points on the field with drops, the poorest performing room in the program tonite in corvallis but shocky likes how coach cefalo's guys physically BLOCK in the run game

jacob de jesus: just like the bears faithful saw in person in inglewood last december at the la bowl, our favorite filipino is ELECTRIC every time he touches the ball in the open field & accelerates to full speed in a blink of the eye while being OFF TO THE RACES!!

game ball: coach novak & his entire hard working s&c staff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com