Cal adds TE Dorian Thomas to the injury report today and he is OUT for SMU

Everything else remains as is https://t.co/NJQsJasa2V

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) October 23, 2026

ouch#

Shocky1 said:

---

https://instagr.am/p/DYqA5H5H2aO
^ j's wifey porschla is a cbyf1 to the surprise of no-one!!

alex, one would think that after 184 losses, the recruitment of zero mcdonalds all americans & the absolute decimation of the gameday fanbase since the termination of cal's monster class (my love letter to the MAGIC of cal basketball) that you would realize that shocky knows more about hoops than the insiders but ur certainly entitled to ur opinion (as is g fed)

Am I walking into a Cal basketball game or my hotel room pic.twitter.com/RT8xVllY0Q

— GFed (@GfedGoCrazy) November 19, 2025

do you remember how we met back in the day??

as the de facto general manager (with unlimited access within coach martin's program) in charge of recruiting (relentlessly calling out oregon's criminal dana altman, arizona's the donut boy of tucson sean miller & ucla's rapist enabler steve alford as we got 5 commitments signing 4 mcdonalds all americans competing against the basketball bluebloods), high gpa academics (90% grad rate) & fanbase growth marketing/gameday attendance (sub 11,000 average attendance) who attended 100+ games in a row (traveling from north scottsdale) we met up on the floor at the galen center in south central after ivan rabb's EPIC block at the rim of a last second trojans lay up to seal our win over usc...after introductions i asked you if u wanna meet the game's hero which resulted in me getting young ivee coming over for a couple of minutes to graciously explain how he wanted to swat the final shot away but not get called for a foul, FUN moments together sharing the MAGIC of cal basketball!!

anyways my #1 target for the next bears hoops general manager would be JASON KIDD

shocky met j thru my golf buddy dr gary mack (the team psychiatrist/family counselor for the phoenix suns & the arizona diamondbacks, client confidentiality don't apply anymore since his death but gary tole me when counseling the kidds that j's 1st wife joumana wuz "crazy as ****"), we hosted j & the suns head coach frank johnson (who got fired for banging the wife of one of the team's corporate sponsors) several times at forest highlands (the canyon is a former world top 100 course) in flagstaff during the summers

then bumped into j years later at the birdcage (the screened lunch patio) at the national golf links in the hamptons, j wuz playing these bizarro japanese made clubs that weren't sold in america...when offered a ride he tole me he took taxis everywhere since his telephone pole deal

https://instagr.am/p/DN6HNx4gdL5
quick story: at stinson beach middle school shocky (perfect attendance as demanded by his fiery tiny berkeley grad japanese tiger moms) had a smokeshow cbyf1 teacher miss jones with a triggering ponytail game!!

miss jones asked me to sit next to the disruptive/non academically focused mark debernadini (spelling error), shocky tole her sure no worries let's do this

so me & mark had the following conversation a couple of months later at the school bus stop:

mark: when i first met you i really didn't like you at all and i told miss jones that you was a know it all that thinks he knows everything

shocky (nodding along): that's ok mark, your really not my type either, miss jones is my type!!

dudes empathically fist bumping each other

mark: so guess what miss jones said to me when i told her that you was a know it all??

shocky: got no idea

mark (smiling): she said "how do you know that shocky doesn't know everything??"

shocky (shaking his head): that's pretty ****** up!!

postscript: last the monster heard mark wuz a roadie/sound manger happily traveling worldwide with journey!!

---

https://instagr.am/p/DXM9fSljDmN
^ shocky is practicing his closing of yoga classes namaste speeches in prep for his future 1st day out as a substitute yoga teacher but honestly the feedback thus far hasn't been that ******* great...sigh

in other really bad ******* news, cal men's basketball tix sale metrics are absolutely ABYSMAL for the upcoming season (with the strategic decision to not offer FREE tixs to all berkeley students, **** the poor kids is the prevalent sentiment by the white people in charge of this ****show) despite 22 wins last season

the unlikeable evil as **** ****tards non berkeley grads jay & jenny plans to "launch" the "game changing" strawberry creek studios to successfully market both hoops programs wuz just more misdirection bull**** by 2 incompetent worthless bureaucrats that are enabled by a feckless chanellor who refuses to let dan mogulof do his job & terminate the only 2 athletic directions on planet earth that don't got any social media presence

yeah cal basketball is lost in berkeley after dark (with an aging out fanbase & everybody else not giving 2 *****)

https://instagr.am/p/DEkREJ8x012
^ shocks is mystified if that's a butterfly tattoo or a small shark bite by her left armpit (if so is she a good swimmer or not and why isn't there a bandage on it to prevent an infection or something)??

duke blue devils 19
virginia cavaliers 16

as noted by the monster multiple times virginia (4-4) qb1 beau pribula (158 yards on a highly erratic 15 of 24 completions, most of them dump offs that could be completed by a talented 5th grader) is arguably the most TRASH quarterback in all of college football on planet earth!!

if hutch & coach lup can't figure out by the roadie to charlottesville how to flash 7-8 defenders at the line of scrimmage & then send the dogs of war on BLITZES to force bad decision making by beau then cal football is gonna be ****** until the end of time

no cap

WILL FELDER PEANUT PUNCH 😈 pic.twitter.com/7AW1SDWwJG

— Duke Football (@DukeFOOTBALL) October 24, 2026

NC State coach Dave Doeren walks off the field after the 31-28 loss at Stanford. pic.twitter.com/F5m43DLgXT

— Noah Fleischman (@fleischman_noah) October 24, 2026

^ the cbyf1 pack fan in the red jacket (w/the nerdy as **** white guy, she's probably gonna dump his sorry azz) don't seem too upset about her team losing to the cards in front of a crowd about the size of a marinite huey lewis reunification concert, maybe she just wanna new drug??

stanford cardinals 31
north carolina state wolfpack 28

the bears opponent next weekend nc state (3-4) are offensively a one dimensional passing team (qb1 cj bailey is a nfl prospect with elite length) with an anemic rushing attack (rb1 with 15 carries for only 49 yards), cal's d gotta opportunity to bring heat against a mid offensive line

Off to the races. #1Pack1Goal pic.twitter.com/HhrFE7zOHV

— NC State Football (@PackFootball) October 24, 2026

stanford (4-4) is not afraid to aggressively/successfully attack the middle third of the field with quick slants, the cal offensive masterminds prefer the slow developing telegraphed wide receiver screens that invariably get blown up for minus 2 yards due to zero BLOCKING)

Automatic 💰 @nico_brown4

📺 ESPN pic.twitter.com/W0tjSnvZTM

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) October 24, 2026

the 2026 big game is a coin flip (kinda like shocky's slow developing man bun/ponytail)#

https://t.co/gVlFe9G0fO

Mid season highlights!! pic.twitter.com/UQSnEt1LxY

— Dajohn Yarborough (@DajohnYarboroug) October 10, 2026

real talk: the cali bears low motor offensive line needs dajohn yarborough who BLOCKS (as opposed to thoughtfully standing around/watching their rb1/qb1 get the **** knocked outta them with hands on hips never getting to the 2nd level) thru the ******* whistle with alpha predator aggression!!

day 1 starter in berkeley#

https://instagr.am/p/DV48c3HlAak
real talk: it's nearly impossible to WIN football games without bookend quick twitch +1 athletic APEX predator mentality edge defenders that bring ******* PHYSICALITY/PRESSURE on every ******* snap!!

https://instagr.am/p/DdhB89lm0Bt
day 1 starters in berkeley#

https://instagr.am/p/De4keyLIJHt
smu mustangs 59
california golden bears 20

https://instagr.am/p/De4Zs8vlw5C
this wuz a ****show performance marked by ongoing dumb azz penalties (guys not learning from past mistakes) & questionable coaching such as the decision to have an australian punter throw a pass, clock management at the end of the 2nd quarter, schematically failing to use the program's most talented room the tight ends over the middle 3rd of the field but most disappointingly a bad news bears mental/emotional no show in the 2nd half

yeah there wuz some bright spots such as qb1 jks (should've never been benched for wake forest) throwing for 265 yards completing 17 of 27 attempts with zero picks, elusive wideout play by ian strong & chase hendricks (there really isn't a capable wr3 in the program), stinson beach high school's dominic ingrassia providing a couple of sparks, towns mcough finding his mark at the collegiate level & a gutty imposing his will performance (unlike kingston lopa & the edge defenders who got their azzs handed to them) by cam sidney

but the real story wuz once again the abject failure of the bears offensive line (heading into the game last in fbs football with runs over 10+ yards this season) which resulted in 28 carries for 40 yards...u cannot win (or really even compete in) football games without a strong offensive line that controls the clock (which keeps the d off the field) & prevents injuries to skill players (it's not an anomaly the # of critical injuries)

WOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/pmfnanQhle

— SMU Football (@SMUFB) October 24, 2026

^ cal's o-line getting pushed backwards physically/not quick twitch +1 athletic enuf to play in space

the shockster started this thread back in the day to create energy for the o-line room in terms of recruiting & player development, the key to turning this around rests with the blue chip 2027 high school commits & the january transfer portal

it's a mystery why famika don't give other bears a chance to compete

Asked Cal QB Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele about how challenging this season has been and the state of the locker room:

“God never promised there wouldn't be a storm. He promised that he'd be with you the whole way through it.”

Full answer: pic.twitter.com/SQSDygRN2m

— Joaquin Ruiz (@WalkingRuiz) October 24, 2026

MONSTER prediction: JKS will be the cali bears qb1 in 2027!!



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the WORLD (is a lot of hard work for those that have FAITH in the vision & are not quitters when times are tough)

Hi Shocky, lost all hope for Cal football

hi bucceesgirlfriendisasmokeshow: jks, sihao, woodstock & the future mrs callixte alzas have not lost all hope/faith in cal golf & football (we just gotta couple of things to work out brah)!!

https://instagr.am/p/Dbl0APyIZ7i
^ do u recycle ur 2 plastic green perrier bottles after we sweat in a heated room together or something??

4 wins in a row is a real possibility (but honestly so is 4 losses) & that's the STRUGGLE that must be (the squeamish need to turn & look away)!!

https://instagr.am/p/De5a9Ntsywp


life is NOT linear (and the bear would not quit the bear would not die *this actually does not apply to cal fb's clinically depressed super senior incel fractional fanbase segment whose time on planet earth is limited as they age out)#

LIV Weirdos getting excited about LIV 2.0. https://t.co/r7QnXqC0SA

— Punch The Monkey (@pittiecoco) October 25, 2026

max, the monster keeps posting the following comment on ur former friend's oklahoma city asterisks liv gram (and it keeps getting deleted): "serious question for gooch, would u blow up the statue of liberty if they paid u enuf generational wealth money??"

gooch is just another dumb azz liv ho with a worthless oklahoma state degree (whose dreams wuz for sale who is now prostituting his loss giving substance to shadows)#
^ real talk: shocks dream of becoming old town scottsdale's 1st bottle boy1 (bb1) is NOT for sale!!

Just take 5 minutes to watch this. Especially the last minute.

That back nine, 5 birdies, with your card on the line is unbelievable. His honestly about what he was feeling is just amazing insight.

He won't ever forget that closing 9. pic.twitter.com/cimPVOWDVA

— Monday Q Info (@acaseofthegolf1) October 25, 2026

^ emotional meritocracy (mad props to sean crocker who is putting out homa korn ferry tour portland vibes!!)

https://instagr.am/p/DbymT6yqNYY
miami hurricanes 52
pittsburgh panthers 23

On an elite level 🔥@MALACHITONEY2 knows how to bring the crowd to its feet 🙌 pic.twitter.com/yqJL1Vns9X

— Miami Hurricanes Football (@CanesFootball) October 25, 2026

^ canes hair on fire BLOCKING leads to touchdowns

pittsburgh (5-2, team wuz undefeated before their elite qb1 tore his acl) qb2 holden greiner inflated his stats against miami's back ups but the panthers gotta anemic running game (69 yards, 2.7 avg) & will be one dimensional offensively when they travel 3000 miles for the final acc regular season game for both programs

coach hutch will have an opportunity to flash 7-8 defenders at the line of scrimmage & dial up blitzing HEAT against an inexperienced not particularly mobile qb

TOUCHDOWWWWWN PANTHERS 🙌 pic.twitter.com/GBwe73HtVt

— Pitt Panthers (@Pitt_ATHLETICS) November 16, 2024

^ shocky went to karma heated yoga this morning (gotta hydrate more next time), got home to the tree fort & decided to take a quick 15 minute nap on the cloud and just opened my eyes 3+ hours later with my brother/sister rescue doggy dog combo of benji & beauty wanting me to wake the **** up so we can commence chasing cars/hiking up the mountain immediately if not sooner!!

https://instagr.am/p/DdltsN-xnKX

2027 transfer portal

https://instagr.am/p/ClaZTaTuSRx
oregon analysis:

money-good (tho getting paid in the nfl requires playing time/development)

playing time-bad (buried on the depth chart as a lg3)

education-bad (unless u wanna be a future nite supervisor at the coos bay flying duck truck stop making 20 bucks an hour at age 30 living off ur parents)

weather-bad (winters are cold as **** in the northwest)

family travel logistics (from sfo to eugene)-bad (compared to a 30 minute drive across the bay bridge on gamedays)

brah love-bad (johnny be in berkeley)

mom's home cooking-non existent

ur soul/karma-r u for sale (r u solely focused on money)??



day 1 starter on cal's offensive line#

https://instagr.am/p/DeuQyW1x6O9
^ if u don't got FREE all access backstages passes to concerts ur probably doing something wrong in life!!

real talk: building a successful global brand/enterprise (rebbeca got 35.4 million gram followers) requires authentic FUN inclusive multi pronged marketing strategies, there's ZERO chance that this is gonna happen with cal's hoops programs (the j kidd gm deal isn't happening) under the FAILED leadership of the evil as **** unlikeable jay & jenny which means both teams are once again heading towards the bottom of the acc in attendance metrics despite winning 20+ games last season

chancellor lyons, when are you gonna hold these 2 worthless bureaucratic ****tards accountable, how many costly/reputational damaging lawsuits brought by multiple women athletes in multiple sports alleging serious abuses as enabled by them, no oversite over the football program & almost EMPTY haas gamedays are you gonna allow before you finally say enough is enough??

https://instagr.am/p/DbDyadrlQh-
^ the current novel (written by an emerging author from alameda) on the monster's bedside table

https://instagr.am/p/De8HuG7sjNy
it's harding park, duh, at least butler national required 3 seconds of deep memory recall before stating the obvious

berkeley bears got high gpas (particularly the monster who has played the last 17 world top 100 lists) & know their maps/geography and ****

here's a better question, where is the future mrs callixte alzas walking ahora??

https://instagr.am/p/DczDmGXoq-q
or wut is the life expectancy of the white boy with the future mrs trevor cox??

https://instagr.am/p/Db_Y9MjNMcy
besos!!#

https://instagr.am/p/Dc19br8CRDR

https://instagr.am/p/DeKFHSVITUj
FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE

the wildly entertaining lulu & friends women's hoops game this thursday october 29th at 6:00 pm at haas is for FREE for EVERYBODY on planet earth!!

if u never been a women hoops game & are wondering why the valkyries are selling out every gameday with 18,046 passionate fans this is ur FREE opportunity to experience them cali bears

https://instagr.am/p/Def2ipmm4-s
the MAGIC of cal women's basketball!!#

https://instagr.am/p/De-lF5RMELC
look the monster is probably not the brightest light in the heated karma room but even he knows that the future mrs sihao cong got more s&c/nutrition developed strength than the undersized cong show (who is thankfully no longer on triple super dooper secret probation after missing the team's 1st tournament this season yet consumes a single 5 protein gram egg for brekkie & thus hits lush 7 irons around maybe 135 yards or something)!!

https://instagr.am/p/DCs1f3jRDJe

~ did shocks ever happen to darken the doorway, or flex a yoni-mudra, at one of the three original Tri-Yoga studios in the Cruz way back in the days before the Loma Prieta quake . . . ?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/oct/03/triyoga-yoga-unpaid-teachers-collapse


https://legacy.triyoga.com/triyoga-center-santa-cruz/

prospect, is tri yoga a BANKRUPT subsidiary of jay & jenny's failing athletic department??
___________________________________________________________________________________

raleigh weather weather update:

mid 70 temps are currently projected for saturday's noon (local time) kickoff in raleigh

Expect dry weather this week to close out October. Highs will generally be in the 70s with lows in the 40s and 50s. #NCwx pic.twitter.com/8DRnxD1bEa

— NWS Raleigh (@NWSRaleigh) October 26, 2026

https://theacc.com/stats.aspx?path=football&year=2026

this is a very positive weather development for the cal football program as jks (along with nc state's elite qb1 cj bailey) will be able to air it out in the downfield vertical passing game (poor/unbalanced offensive scheming has resulted in shocking neglect of the middle 3rd of the field on fly/slants/crossing patterns & non effectively utilizing the team's ELITE tight end room talent)

bad weather would've forced the bears to rely upon a non existent rushing game (17th outta 17th in the acc this season, zip codes away from the 16th team) due to a LOW MOTOR offensive line which does not BLOCK thru the whistle which has resulted in physically dangerous situations for running backs that get the **** knocked outta them while the o-line stands around with their hands on their hips watching the carnage take place

and yet famika refuses to let any of the back ups beyond the failing starting line up compete on gamedays, it's certainly possible that coach anae is legally deaf & completely unaware that his guys quit (never get to the 2nd level) on literally every play & do not BLOCK thru the whistle (which he apparently can't hear)

yeah watching cal's quiet/zombie like offensive line is scary as ****

https://instagr.am/p/DemXC28l8N3