Shocky1;842210487 said:
the following press release was issued by the stanford ad bernard muir:
"after considerable analysis in conjunction with the stanford economic department (we do not have an undergraduate business major) it is clear after reviewing supply (an overabundance of empty seats) vs demand (declining) that the men's basketball team's home game revenues are not being optimized at this point"
"therefore effective immediately all preseason stanford basketball games will be played at south park hs (seating capacity 392) in an effort to create a cozy, loud home court advantage"
"while it is undeniably true that playing the pac 12 slate at a predominantly empty maples pavilion will create a home court advantage for visiting pac 12 institutions, the fiscal impact and influx of capital generated by predominantly affluent and good looking relentlessly frenzied cal fans cannot be ignored and its signficant impact upon the palo alto economic footprint"
"i would also like to take this opportunity to 100% reaffirm my support for johnny dawkins...there will be no further comment from this office regarding coach dawkins and his contractual employment with this department until the cardinals are once again mathematically eliminated from the ncaa field of 65 teams tournament"
this is stanford basketball#
adios johnny
the following press release was issued by stanford hc johnny dawkins:
"i would like to thank ad muir for his transparent & much appreciated support of my current employment as the head basketball coach of stanford university"
"as for the decision to move our preseason games to south park hs to better reflect demand for stanford basketball tickets, i'm proud to be associated with this move and appreciate the tangible support from our new fans stan, kyle, eric, kenny and butters...we are growing stanford bb in a very methodical way, one real fan at a time"
"but make no mistake about, i'm a realist too...with a 39-51 pac 12 record it's pretty obvious to me that i'm being clownpunked by opposing pac 12 head coaches on almost a nightly basis"
"therefore, change must happen...instead of my current 30 second humiliating one sided speeches at centercourt that i do after every substitution, i'm going to increase the length of these orations to a full minute...while some of you have communicated to me that these public whippings seem rather taliban like with the dazed players silently stewing with dead eyes and mechancially shaking their heads in agreement with me, i feel strongly that these interactions not only improve their basketball skills but also prepare our student athletes for marriage"
"stanford fans, i am also pleased to announce that i 100% guarantee that our stanford basketball program will be going to the ncaa tournament this year!"
"in fact, i have already completed a contractual rental agreement for the usage of several buses from south park hs to transport our coaches, players & staff to watch this year's western regionals!"
"go cardinals!"
adios johnny#