cal's monster offensive line

2,176,166 Views | 12606 Replies | Last: 1 hr ago by Shocky1
calumnus
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Shocky1 said:

^ thx hoops, luv u brah, we did the ride or die thing together back in the day with cal's monster class

https://instagr.am/p/C7bvPtHv9CC
belts r for losers (at brambles)#


Hey pidgins, good luck getting a taco at that hour in New York.
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C9U25-yOrvv
calalumnus, not gonna speak for hoops but actually shocky's favorite nyc snack at 1:54 am is a slice of pineapple & ham or something



bad judgment is triggering#
Shocky1
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WARNING: stormin' the field with shocky saturday nite is significantly more DANGEROUS for ur health than smoking on the golf course

do u got BAD judgment? (daily 32 oz green juices r for uptight losers)#
calumnus
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C9U25-yOrvv
calalumnus, not gonna speak for hoops but actually shocky's favorite nyc snack at 1:54 am is a slice of pineapple & ham or something



bad judgment is triggering#


When I lived in NYC my late night go to was a slice. However, with my friends our regular hang out, often late night, was:
https://images.app.goo.gl/1j2n4u1HtxYiG21i7

Later made famous as the hang out on a TV sitcom.
89Bear
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C9U25-yOrvv
calalumnus, not gonna speak for hoops but actually shocky's favorite nyc snack at 1:54 am is a slice of pineapple & ham or something



bad judgment is triggering#
Shocky has to up his slice game.
Don't be a dumb azz: mushrooms, white onion, and sausage...
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C48opbzvEcU
gameday traditions:

89, not gonna lie, a slice with onions, sausage & mushrooms is literally my 2nd favorite combo, **** that pizza hut/taco bell combo dog food ****

my football gameday traditions include walking across (my parking spot is in the lower hearst structure on the northside) campus & talking to as many students (and not just curvy brunette yoga females) as possible to get a vibe/inspiration for wut's going on in their lives en route to blondies for always 2 cheese slices with a liberal sprinkling of oregano (shocky basically lived on top dog & blondies during his nutritionally uniformed college days before his enlightened modern yoga days of 32 oz green juices & significantly reduced sugar levels) before listening to the great cal band (which has been effectively silenced by the clueless markeisha & her hip hop garbage time gameday dj) & then starting the trek up the hill taking time to appreciate my favorite landmarks including the campanile before arriving at the epicenter of planet earth memorial stadium with its spectacular views of the san francisco skyline & the golden gate bridge with the soft bay area breezes on my cheeks (my face, not my azz) while the smell of the tightwad hill burners wafting thru the air mixing with the charcoal broiled hotdog vendors in front of the stadium while the seagulls circle high above from further while shocky wonders in his heart of hearts if coach bloesch is evah gonna dial up for his all american a ******* PITCHOUT to the edges in wide open spaces culminating in EPIC touchdown runs that are forever imbedded into the furthest corners of our wildest imaginations/deepest most treasured memories and yeah maybe that moisture in the corners of my eyes is the rolling bay area fog or something

and yeah shocky pets & talks to every doggy dog he encounters too!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C5_mX0EPN6v
my biggest basketball gameday tradition during the cal's monster class era of attending 150 cal basketball games in a row (both at haas & on the road) wuz NEVER walking in front of haas until entering 45 minutes prior to tip off to greet/mingle with the players from my floor seats during the early shoot around...would literally sometimes walk an extra 500 yards to ensure not doing an early walk in front of haas

https://instagr.am/p/BG2c9tghHcW
wut r ur gameday traditions?

the march of the penguins (is part of the fabric of shocky's life which includes a lotta unresolved ocd ****)#
Cal88
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calumnus said:

Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C9U25-yOrvv
calalumnus, not gonna speak for hoops but actually shocky's favorite nyc snack at 1:54 am is a slice of pineapple & ham or something



bad judgment is triggering#


When I lived in NYC my late night go to was a slice. However, with my friends our regular hang out, often late night, was:
https://images.app.goo.gl/1j2n4u1HtxYiG21i7

Later made famous as the hang out on a TV sitcom.


I guess you were at Columbia, 3 blocks up Broadway?

For tacos nearby:
https://taqueriayfonda.co/

They don't do burritos well though, owner is from Guerrero.
Shocky1
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atlanta is bear territory (just ask jaylen)#
mbBear
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Shocky1 said:


atlanta is bear territory (just ask jaylen)#
The buses taking the boosters to the Cal dinner at the College Hall of Fame went right by this sign...nothing like showing it off to many of the key donors...created quite a buzz on our bus.
Shocky1
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max homa 3 keys for today:

as shocky heads out the door in the napa valley to catch michael kim's back nine, here are the homa nation 3 keys to taking it low this afternoon:

1) fresh veggie sandwich on sourdough at bouchon bakery with a 32 oz green juice, coffee is bad for the putting nerves

2) a little extra work on the practice putting green, max made only 50 feet in putts yesterday (an abysmal average of less than 3 feet a hole)...positive thoughts/visualization when rolling the rock, max there is literally nobody on planet earth that has made more feet of putts at silverado than u during ur 2 triumphant championships!!

3) after missing all 4 par 5 fairways yesterday, homa gotta hit the fairways on the north course's 4 scoreable par 5s to position himself for birdie even potential eagle opportunities

yeah if shocky wuz not already an almost substitute teacher at modern yoga he would be a caddie on the pga tour or coach bloesch's play calling assistant

let's ******* go!!!!!!#
WalterSobchak
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mushrooms, olives, pepperoni
Please give to Cal Legends at https://calegends.com/calegendsdonate/donate-football/ and encourage everyone you know who loves Cal sports to do it too.

To be in the Top 1% of all NIL collectives we only need around 10% of alumni to give $300 per year. Please help spread the word. "If we don't broaden this base we're dead." - Sebastabear

Thanks for reading my sig! Please consider copying or adapting it and using it on all of your posts too. Go Bears!
Shocky1
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^ pepperonis can sometimes cause gaseous discharges
rkt88edmo
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Shocky1 said:

^ pepperonis can sometimes cause gaseous discharges
So i guess we know shocky's moms weakness lolololol

calumnus
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Cal88 said:

calumnus said:

Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/C9U25-yOrvv
calalumnus, not gonna speak for hoops but actually shocky's favorite nyc snack at 1:54 am is a slice of pineapple & ham or something



bad judgment is triggering#


When I lived in NYC my late night go to was a slice. However, with my friends our regular hang out, often late night, was:
https://images.app.goo.gl/1j2n4u1HtxYiG21i7

Later made famous as the hang out on a TV sitcom.


I guess you were at Columbia, 3 blocks up Broadway?

For tacos nearby:
https://taqueriayfonda.co/

They don't do burritos well though, owner is from Guerrero.


Yeah, I was at Columbia in the late 80s. There was zero Mexican in all of NYC. Good Chinese Cuban though. For good coffee the choices were limited, you had to go to the Village, Little Italy though I did find a good place around 80 and Most Cal grads either bought from Zabars and made their own or had Peet's mailed. I had this idea to turn every old corner bar into cafes….
JB was a Chieftain
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Take BART in from Dublin. Stop at Jupiters for a beer & pizza. Hike up the hill and admire all of campus! Make the trek up Cheapskate Mountain (Tightwad Hill). High fives with teen wolf, can man, and the $5 crown shots guy. Watch the sun set over the Golden Gate with a craft brew in hand! Paradise
Goobear
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Ok wife and will be coming to the game tomorrow. Go Bears!
Shocky1
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2024 pga tournament at silverado: 2nd round update

max homa: 72, missed cut
michael kim: 71, missed cut
james hahn: 69, missed cut


korn ferry tour:
kk limbhaust: 71, missed cut

yeah shocky got an open day now in napa valley before tomorrow nite's 7:30 pm kickoff at memorial stadium, maybe he will go stomp grapes with his bare feet, pick up trash along highway 29 or go bicycle riding in yountville or something
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/CKX7fG2jx4r
don't tell nobody but marshall cherrington, benji palu, marcus griffin & dustin coder just revised the following document in consultation with cal's monster class
____________________________________________________________________

OFFICIAL CAL FOOTBALL 2025 RECRUIT QUESTIONNAIRE:

Wut's ur name?

Do u got a nickname or wut does your moms call u?

Wut's ur GPA?
Note: if u got a **** GPA ur not going nowhere, do not continue completing this form

Wut's ur timed 40 SPEED?
Note: if u got a **** 40 ur not going nowhere, do not continue completing this form

R u from Cali or Texas?

If ur from Texas wut is ur Buc-ee's membership #?

Is ur Dream School a low rent academic school located in a truck stop town with lot lizards with CFM pumps & STDS?

How important is Berkeley's ranking as the #1 rated public school in the WORLD in ur final decision on a scale of 1 to 10?

Yes or No: R u aware that curvy brunette yoga females from academically mediocre schools wanna date & marry Cal, Stanford & Ivy Leagues when they enter the REAL WORLD that unremorsefully favors the well educated in building GENERATIONAL WEALTH?

Wut's ur favorite position?
Note: do NOT send any fotos of reverse cowgirl

R u wanted on any felonies (wanted in 2 states, can't move wrong?) or do u got multiple baby mamas?

Do u luv doggy dogs & do u help old women cross the street?

Do u got a membership at Modern Yoga?



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including ur hometown)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/
2025 recruiting update: there are still a couple of LIMITED spots in this class
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


Dear Chancellor Lyons,

How are you?

I am fine.

Look the Cal football program led by Chief of Staff Andrew McGraw knows that your athletic department isn't doing **** to fill up Memorial Stadium (they are more interested in tarp management and getting PAID/promoting their careers) so they are taking matters into their own hands and initiating a GRASSROOTS campaign to get students to this Saturday's nite battle by offering FREE tickets to students which includes door to door work by Coach Wilcox.

https://instagr.am/p/C_0w5MKPWku
Doesn't that resonate with you that something is terribly wrong within your athletic department?

Why isn't the athletic department just offering FREE tixs to all students?

A lot of key donors have told me that they's told you that they don't like/respect/trust the anti football/basketball obstructionist Jim Knowlton, the lazy azz and non innovative Markeisha Everrett and the evil as **** Jennifer Simon-O'Neil, when are you going to be done listening and finally take ACTION???

Rich, my poor as **** 1st in the family generation Berkeley grad moms lived above a dry cleaner in San Francisco, she could not afford tickets/a student sports pass so she never experienced the MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL until later in life with her son. Is your legacy going to include the 2024 students not making new friends with classmates and developing a heartfelt passion/school spirit that will make them lifelong future supporters/maybe even Builders of Berkeley of the current (Warning: life is NOT linear) #1 ranked public university in the world??

The ball is in your court, are you going to knock it out of the park for a Say Hey grand slam like Willie Mays?

Best regards,

Bill "Shocky" Schulz

p.s. Love you, moms!!!




good evening rich,

if this is ur best SOLUTION to all the empty seats at memorial stadium & the knowlton/jenny/markeisha problem then cal football is ******

guess wut, tarps r not evah gonna donate to berkeley, got it?

honestly expected much better from u, very disappointed

-shocky
Shocky1
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cal football program's friday nite at the claremont

pro tip: when ordering porn ("Curvy Brunette Yoga Females Doing Reverse Cowgirl!!" is a real crowd pleaser) on ur room tv, call the front desk 1st & make sure all charges r attributed to coach wilcox...u can thank me later with a tip of ur helmet when he gets a check out statement with 96 adult movies at $17.95 per movie!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_3qDonMMHO
shut up, shocky#
82gradDLSdad
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Shocky1 said:


2024 pga tournament at silverado: 2nd round update

max homa: 72, missed cut
michael kim: 71, missed cut
james hahn: 69, missed cut


korn ferry tour:
kk limbhaust: 71, missed cut

yeah shocky got an open day now in napa valley before tomorrow nite's 7:30 pm kickoff at memorial stadium, maybe he will go stomp grapes with his bare feet, pick up trash along highway 29 or go bicycle riding in yountville or something


Shocky, bike, golf and Cal football...three of my favorite hobbies that have started coming back into my life after my trip to seizure-ville. I am very grateful. You sound grateful. Never take this for granted.
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:


if ur NOT incarcerated & live within 250 miles of memorial stadium, don't even call urself a cal fan if ur not at the 7:30 pm san diego state battle saturday nite...if u gotta steal a car, let's ******* go!!!...there's FREE info on the internet on how to hotwire ur neighbor's hot wheels...math & not stealing **** is for losers

https://instagr.am/p/C_1FmxmMhnv
typing on a gameday thread instead of creating energy/living ur life fully on gamedays means ur a SOFA KING that probably got a bad case of hemorrhoids or something

don't be a SOFA KING, do better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^ we can STORM THE FIELD together IF the bears beat the aztecs (plus u can watch up close the campus police TRY to beat the **** outta shocky)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_1kMWFySwX


r u a SOFA KING and/or do u got hemorrhoids or something??? (shocky more proud of coach than evah!!)#
https://instagr.am/p/C_5jle5vc47
82, r time on planet earth is limited, the time is NOW for ******* everything

life is not linear (r u gonna storm the field with shocky tonite IF the bears wins??)#
Shocky1
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florida state rb1 fumbled 2nd play from line of scrimmage in tallahassee, owen-2 noles down 3-0 vs memphis
82gradDLSdad
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


if ur NOT incarcerated & live within 250 miles of memorial stadium, don't even call urself a cal fan if ur not at the 7:30 pm san diego state battle saturday nite...if u gotta steal a car, let's ******* go!!!...there's FREE info on the internet on how to hotwire ur neighbor's hot wheels...math & not stealing **** is for losers

https://instagr.am/p/C_1FmxmMhnv
typing on a gameday thread instead of creating energy/living ur life fully on gamedays means ur a SOFA KING that probably got a bad case of hemorrhoids or something

don't be a SOFA KING, do better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^ we can STORM THE FIELD together IF the bears beat the aztecs (plus u can watch up close the campus police TRY to beat the **** outta shocky)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_1kMWFySwX


r u a SOFA KING and/or do u got hemorrhoids or something??? (shocky more proud of coach than evah!!)#
https://instagr.am/p/C_5jle5vc47
82, r time on planet earth is limited, the time is NOW for ******* everything

life is not linear (r u gonna storm the field with shocky tonite IF the bears wins??)#


My wife has put an end to my stormin' days. Plus it's SDSU. We better leave now doubt. No letdown excuses.
GoldenBear1
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Shocky
Can you please bring Leidy to the game tonight dressed for the beach? Appropriately in blue & gold, of course

Would be great to get her on the Jumbotron after big plays

Go Bears!
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/CKUgUXYDb3O
look gb1 leidy gotta new boyfriend (ceo of the toca madera nightclub brand) but with that being said at some point in the future she'll figure out that he's a loser/stop this pathetic attempt to make me jealous & will attend games with me at memorial stadium, got it?

and no worries shocky then will introduce u to leidy on gamedays & she can sign ur pennant or something

let's be real, clothes r for losers

reality is overrated (fuschia is berkeley's new color scheme)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

funny florida state joke:

knock knock

who's there?

owen

owen who?

owen-2!!

fun fact: fsu is gonna sue the acc, the ncca & the ibiza nightclub industry for their lousy as **** start this season
https://instagr.am/p/CTf5CYKLuR5
memphis tigers 20
florida state 12

defensively the noles front 4 is their strength & stingy to run against but the linebackers lack ball awareness in passing coverage...jack endries & corey dyches could be running wild next sat evening

offensively qb1 dj u got terrible body language, can't accurately pass while rolling to his left, lacks field vision/gametime situational awareness & don't audible outta blitzes, will coach sirmon dial up the heat in tallahassee??

owen-3#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C3Ldz-LPmSp
north carolina state wolfpack 30
louisiana tech bulldogs 20

defensively the pack front 7 shut down the dogs to 43 rushing yards but got burned for 281 yards in the air

offensively qb1 grayson mccall is good not great & got replaced by cj bailey, together they combined for 210 passing yards

Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C8u1z6xyFJn
oregon ducks 49
oregon state beavers 14

defensively the beavs gotta lotta empty chairs from last season lacking both size & speed in the d 2 deep

offensively qb1 gevani mccoy is a baller when he got time to make plays but that's not gonna happen now with the end of the nfl o-line development era by coach michalczik (now at michigan state) in corvallis
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C5TNyrTOVur
pittsburgh panthers 38
west virginia mountaineers 34

alabama transfer qb1 eli holstein has changed the trajectory of the pittsburgh football program, today he threw for 301 yards on an efficient 21 of 30 passing with 3 touchdowns & zero interceptions...the panthers are one dimensional offensively with an anemic rushing attack

defensively pitt gave up 191 yards on the ground & 210 yards in the air, they are tryna outscore opponents

yeah the october 11th roadie to oakmont & pittsburgh (3-0) is gonna be a ******* battle in steel town

**** franco harris#
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C_6RmM3MgRk
**** florida state#
sycasey
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Shocky1 said:

pittsburgh panthers 38
west virginia mountaineers 3
I think you left a number off of WV's score there.
Shocky1
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the san diego state aztecs r gonna be starting a TRUE FRSHMAN qb1, danny boy in gonna ******* meet team defensive leader david reese & his violently relentless african WiLD dogs d tonite

if u got any cardiac issues, plz look away, this **** is getting LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let's ******* go (our time on planet earth is limited, the time is NOW for everything)!!!!!!#
Shocky1
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sycasey said:

Shocky1 said:

pittsburgh panthers 38
west virginia mountaineers 3
I think you left a number off of WV's score there.
kinda like the TAKERS, nothing gets by sycasey

https://instagr.am/p/C9u4mDMPQa7
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/C_7Z59SRBKJ


haters mad for whatever reason (release the CASH in tallahassee)#
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