Shocky1 said:

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"Roll with your legs, not your back."

- ancient caddie wisdom (and chiropractors everywhere) @CudaChamp

📺 Golf Channel pic.twitter.com/Jv4SpjVcTt

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 21, 2025

it wuz an absolutely beautiful sunny & breezy day in the sierra pacific with brutal pin placements & tricky swirling winds

max got good rhythm with his new caddie lance bennett (whose wife showed out in her baby blue romper outfit with her brown skin shining in the sun) with less confusion/conversation & started with a momentum building buried 7 footer for par on the 1st hole followed by two beautifully stroked 7 footers but missed birdie (worth 2 points) on the short par 4 2nd hole & eagle (worth a game changing 5 points) after a spectacular 375 yard pipeline drive & stuffed short iron (homa's swing is mostly synched up & organized) on the par 5 3rd hole

but then **** happened & shocky's coaching up wuz kinda ******* worthless in a ryan longwell coaching up field goal kickers last season for them bears kinda way

homa spun a short wedge into the water, drove a 396 yard drive that wuz pin high into a bush enroute to a double bogey & some other stuff that we all need to just ******* forget about en route to a 39 on the front nine

so shocky just fired himself & took off after the 9th green walking himself to his car (illegally parked at the entrance gate in the hedge with the permission of the tournament director who would love for collin to come back someday & defend his cuda title, he also tole me it's possible the tournament's dates may get shuffled in future pga schedules) for a late lunch at incline village and max apparently played better on the back nine breaking par in shooting a 35 with a little voice in his head telling him "don't look back, u can never look back"



yeah max & shocky may be cali boyz of summer that got no wayfarers but today summer wuz outta reach

life is NOT linear#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

---

Thanks, as always for your update. I'm over in the UK for work and watched the Open yesterday. Scottie is currently at a level that can only be described as Tiger-esque. His iron play is maybe even better. It's painful to watch Collin struggle as he is and I really hope he gets a good reset soon. I don't know that'll happen, but he clearly has the iron and driver play. His short game has regressed and I'm sure that's throwing him off. He posted in IG that he's struggling but is grateful for his team and family support and thinks he'll be back after a few weeks off. The caddy situation is bizarre. Hoping he gets someone he's comfortable with as that's a big piece to solve.

#GoBears pic.twitter.com/ESH1L9jG2G

— Kingston Tupuola (@KingTupes) June 21, 2025

cal's monster class recruiting updates: with the 2026 class close to done (still tryna flip potential hometown heroes dakota dickson committed to low key racist smu & ducks stacking o-line room oregon's tommy tofi) with a current 22 commits the staff is now starting to identify high gpa/academically motivated +1 athletic quick twitch prospects for 2027

Appreciate the graphic! @CalFootball @Coach_Sooto @browning_coach @QBCatalano @Cen10Football pic.twitter.com/6UPEdxsBgg

— Miles Isaac Schirmer (@MilesSchirmer) June 15, 2025

Kahuku (Hawaii) 2027 offensive lineman Kaho Valikoula holds a pair of offers, one from the ACC and one from the Big 12 https://t.co/lO1uj91OYn pic.twitter.com/b9WnvmDXCs

— Brandon Huffman (@BrandonHuffman) July 19, 2025

early 2027 priorities include 4.0 gpa mauling o-lineman kingston tupuola from conroe high school In texas, powerful d-lineman 6'5" 250 lbs miles issac schirmer from legendary corona centennial high school and new to football huge upside 6'3" 2025 lbs kaho valikoula from powerhouse kahuku high school & is friends with his 2024 red raiders teammates aidan manutai & lebron williams...look at that, hawaii gotta berkeley pipeline for those that wanna build generational wealth both on & off the field

https://instagr.am/p/4fa3rWLRDV

Best Universities in the World, 2024:

1.🇬🇧 Oxford
2.🇺🇸 Stanford
3.🇺🇸 MIT
4.🇺🇸 Harvard
5.🇬🇧 Cambridge
6.🇺🇸 Princeton
7.🇺🇸 California Institute of Technology
8.🇬🇧 Imperial College London
9.🇺🇸 Berkeley
10.🇺🇸 Yale

Times Higher Education

— World of Statistics (@stats_feed) April 29, 2024

cal poly-berkeley=the 9th island=#1 ranked public university in the world

It’s nice & sunny in the Bay so why not spread the #CALOHA #CalGang pic.twitter.com/9epVbcvKcX

— Benji Palu (@BenjiPalu_Cal) June 17, 2025

don't be a dumb azz brah#

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CuZfkfIN-K7
shocky's ireland top 10:

1) royal county down: front nine is arguably the best 9 holes in golf on planet earth, only criticism is the extreme level of difficulty

2) ballybunion: a rollicking adventure alongside the irish sea, so sublime like your favorite song

3) lahinch: mackenzie masterpiece, home of the dell hole, a blind par 3 with the punchbowl green set in a valley (shot is aimed over a white rock on a hillside)

4) royal portrush: hopefully the british open will return again to northern ireland after their last open's attendance records exceeding expectations...like many links courses, several blind shots

5) carne: scruffy in its conditioning but one of the most fun golf experiences in the world with some of the highest sand dunes imaginable

6) portmarnock: this dublin gem is charming with her low key timeless beauty makes u wanna kiss her

7) the island: not visited by the tourist golf tour luxury buses, this underrated links rivals kinda nearby portmarnock

8) st patricks: the new tom doak designed modern masterpiece got way more undulating greens than all of the irish classic courses

9) county sligo: rugged golf in a natural landscape that is exhilarating

10) county louth: see above

11) old head: arguably the biggest wasted architecture site in golf, the 1000 foot cliffs on 3 sides (course is on a peninsula) deserves a better design...not for those with vertigo who are uncomfortable leaning over the edge of the golden gate bridge

adare manor & the k club are to be avoided at all costs unless ur a stupid rich american, don't be a dumb azz

---

https://instagr.am/p/DJWlQOKv_s_
really BAD morikawa news:

shocky has confirmed that collin has NEVER played next week's 2025 british open venue royal portrush

with its multiple blind shots off the teebox & the vagaries of reading greens on fescue links courses, the allegedly smart haas biz ad grad has not done his advance HOMEWORK instead naively thinking he's gonna figure out all of its hole strategies in a couple of practice rounds

how did this no advance HOMEWORK strategy work at oakmont??

morikawa wuz literally guessing on the majority of his putt reads in making only 1 putt over 11 feet during 72 holes & his start/finish line on the uphill par 4 9th hole revealed his inexperience (u gotta aim it dangerously close to the ditch down the left side) to avoid missing the tee ball in the right rough like collin did during all 4 rounds in playing this hole well over par during the us open

if collin wuz more like tiger who made advance scouting trips to future majors venues, morikawa would take kat to new york city for a couple of FUN nites after this september's ryder cup on long island & then schedule (shocky will coordinate tee times if necessary) low key mid week golf rounds a couple days later at 2026 us open site shinnecock hills in the hamptons & then 2026 pga championship site aronomink in philly

collin's major count is gonna increase when he quits being such a know it all dumb azz!!

---

hollywood, agreed that collin is struggling while missing the cut the last 2 weeks on links course but disagree that he isn't close to winning in the very near future, his ball striking is still best in the world ELITE (there's a handful of human beings on planet earth that can strike a golf ball like mr morikawa)...and yeah the caddie situation needs to get resolved as kk finishes out his 2025 korn ferry season

the biggest problem for morikawa is that he isn't doing his HOMEWORK in advance, he didn't travel to the uk early for the scottish & british opens playing a number of links courses to gain familiarity with that style of play

and yeah shinneock hills & to a less extent aronomink (which has absolutely WILD putting greens that cannot be deciphered in a a couple of practice rounds) are gonna be future azz kickings for collin if he doesn't travel to them in advance of the 2026 us open & 2026 pga championship

look if there's interest with collin, max, michael, ben, james, kk & a couple of the current young bears like z, xihuan, sihao, daniel & both charlies, then shocky will arrange (pay for tee times, caddies, rooms & meals) for 3 foursomes to play this fall (except on a bears football saturday gameday) all 4 world class links courses at bandon dunes in an intense zero drinking 48 hour 72 hole stroke play walking competition...plz send me an email, private message of phone call if ur interested...and yeah des could be the master of ceremonies with all high stakes (except for the college kids) gambling debts paid to doggy dog facilities advocacy of the winner's choosing too

https://instagr.am/p/DLUn369tSk5
to be honest with u the best links golfer rite now representing the program is 2026 commit callixte alzas from west of paris who wuz the quarterfinalist in the 2025 british amateur (both z & charlie also competed gaining valuable links experience)...the 2025/26 team will benefit from a high learning curve (in this trackman era, those numbers won't mean **** on a proper links course in high winds) from playing in the st andrews tournament this fall!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ck3NrMKPxPN

Sneak peek at what’s cookin’ on The Farm 🎬 pic.twitter.com/kUFZTHQILo

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) July 15, 2025

what's cooking' on the farm: 20,000+ insanely HAPPY cal fans stormin' the field in palo alto on saturday november 23rd celebrating shocky's b-day week & another BIG GAME victory?????



drop, drop, drop in the 800 degrees stanford stadium croc pot#

Welcome to Dallas 🤠

This week, the 77th U.S. Junior Amateur becomes the first-ever USGA championship hosted at Trinity Forest Golf Club 🙌 pic.twitter.com/EOxL2ElLuF

— USGA (@USGA) July 20, 2025

2025 us junior boy's amateur: 1st round update

incoming this fall freshman sensation (quarterfinalist in the 2024 us junior's boy amateur & match play top 32 in the 2024 us amateur) xihuan chang shot a 76 in the brutal afternoon summertime heat (temps pushing 100% degrees with high humidity) at trinity forest south of dallas (why the **** would any high school student liked dakota dickson wanna matriculate at any school in texas which is basically the equivalent of living in hades??) which puts him in a tie for 138th place outta the field of 312 golfers with the top 64 advancing to match play after 36 hole stroke play

note: fellow incoming freshman trevor cox & 2026 commit graham christopher did not advance out of local qualifying

the good news is that xihuan got the much preferred very early morning tee time at the much more scoreable brook hollow (minutes away from the low key racist smu campus) tomorrow, a couple under par round will hopefully get him into a playoff for the match play portion of the tournament

check out chang's performance in last year's us junior boy's amateur at the fabulously restored oakland hills which shocky played 2 weeks ago, xihuan gotta beautifully organized morikawaesque swing (with slightly faster tempo) & an ice in his veins putting stroke



the coore & crenshaw designed trinity forest is the most complex/strategic course (sand hills & friar's head are the 2 best courses designed on planet earth during the last 100 years) in the c&c portfolio & plays like an authentic crispy baked out links course

bill coore is shocky's only IDOL in life, the wake forest grad/fellow north scottsdale resident is the monet/renoir of golf course architecture & schulzie has played every hole he's ever designed

https://instagr.am/p/CJBlcOFL8dm
one of the many highlights of last fall's FUN roadtrip to wake forest for the bears exciting victory with liam johnson's last minute high football iq breaking on the ball game winning interception included randomly meeting the deacons star rb demond claiborne on the sidewalk of a winston-salem downtown cafe (washington perk & provisions serves up tasty green smoothies!!) a couple of hours before the game, doing/learning the wake dance moves while getting the romantic yoga boy stare down from coach christy & after playing the fabulous old town walking thru the trees with my bag over my shoulders back to campus kinda like how coore once tole me he always did back in the day (couldn't afford wheels)

yeah coach christy got good energy plus a smokeshow brunette ponytail, if shocky evah wanted to become a male azz cheerleader it would only be for the deacs (whose mascot kinda looks like a cancer infused killah cigarette which is ironic with several of the worldwide major tobacco companies headquartered near campus)!!

https://instagr.am/p/Ce656jpOAo8
r u going to any cal football roadies (in addition to the november 25th kickback party in palo alto) in the fall of 2025 (sometimes u gotta step outside ur comfort zone to experience life's greatest thrills)??#

Shocky1 said:

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Sneak peek at what’s cookin’ on The Farm 🎬 pic.twitter.com/kUFZTHQILo

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) July 15, 2025

what's cooking' on the farm: 20,000+ insanely HAPPY cal fans stormin' the field in palo alto on saturday november 23rd celebrating shocky's b-day week & another BIG GAME victory?????



drop, drop, drop in the 800 degrees stanford stadium croc pot#

---

What's cookin' on the Farm now is that the program's in total disarray and I guess they're showing some players nobody's ever heard of, moving in slow motion, to get their hundreds of fans pumped up. Very "impressive".

https://instagr.am/p/C4CIljmJl6y

Winning has way less to do with course knowledge and way more execution

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) July 21, 2025

while schulzie agrees with michael's comment overall, his take is not shared by jack nicklaus (18 major championship trophies), tiger woods (15 major championship trophies) & tom watson (8 major championship victories) who always did advance site visits seeking every advantage possible in hoisting the WINNING trophy at the MAJORS on sunday (and writing their legacies into golf's history books) & not just competing at a high level (making the cut at one of the majors)

Not really

— Michael S. Kim (@Mike_kim714) July 21, 2025

would point out that michael has never played shinnecock hills, the bandon dunes 4 courses and/or brambles which got authentic links architecture strategies & playing surfaces tho shinny don't got fescue greens



yeah asking shocky wut's his favorite type of coffee is kinda a dumb azz question cuz shocky thinks coffee (and really any unhealthy foreign stimulants) are for losers tho that's not to say shocky isn't a big fan of some coffee makers, got it??

Going to get coffee every morning pic.twitter.com/6t5Q5BIB5s

— People Got F☠️ Up (@PeopleGotFUp) May 11, 2025

winners do their HOMEWORK in advance (and not just in a couple of practice rounds during tournament week)#

Shocky1 said:

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HUGE birdie putt for @Collin_Morikawa (and he knows it.)

Scottie's lead has gone from 7 to 2. pic.twitter.com/RiTiKPByUc

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) September 1, 2024

2024 pga tour championship: 4th round update

CONGRATULATIONS to collin morikawa on his closing en fuego 66 to win the 72 hole stroke play tournament!!!:

1. collin morikawa: 22 under par
2. sahith theegala: 21 under par
3. scottie scheffler: 20 under par

fun fact: official world golf ranking points are based upon the 72 stroke play scores, not the convoluted (made for tv) fed ex deal

despite a double bogey 7 finish on the par 5 18th hole ben an shot a 69 & finished at 6 under par

Scottie and Collin are already having fun @TOURChamp 😂 pic.twitter.com/NFKk98uJww

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) September 1, 2024

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collin morikawa WON the PGA TOUR championship at east lake last september!!!!

now that the pga has dumped the previous silly dumb azz format of artificially assigning strokes prior to play for this tournament when are the pga tour, golf fans from around the world & the semi legitimate media including gabi, colt knost, nuclear golf, the fried egg, no laying up & club pro guy gonna recognize collin's 2024 victory??

honestly morikawa should get an engraved ******* trophy presented to him at his next tourament & the pga tour record books amended to show/reflect the TRUE champion at east lake!!

**** cbs & the golf channel#

Shocky1 said:

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Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/CcGZW-0pwes
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

As a former ELITE worldwide fashion model with multiple online degrees, I am very proud to let you know that I'm the new Chancellor at SMU!!!!!! It's true, I interview really well!!

I really think your writing is very witty ("don't be a dumb azz, it's better to palm a tight azz") plus we both love doggy dogs, would you be willing to accept an Adjunk Professorship of Literature in addition to starting up our new Yoga/Meditation Master's Program? Realize that you're not credentialed yet as a substitute yoga teacher at Modern Yoga but we can do a workaround on that minor issue.

Look, I realize you can play literally any golf course on Planet Earth with one phone call/email but would it help your decision making if I can arrange a FREE membership at Brook Hollow which has been faithfully restored by your favorite architects Coore & Crenshaw?

Shocky, working together we can make SMU GREAT AGAIN and in any case I'm looking forward to meeting you at your pregame FREE buffet at Buc-ee's on Saturday November 30th, is this a clothing optional event or not??

I will even confidentially whisper in your ear my GPA!!

Respectfully yours,

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

P.S. > Agreed that clothes r for losers!!!

---

Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Just wanted to give you a quick update regarding some of the improvements we've made in our quest for SMU not to be just viewed as a preppy rich kid's school that is low key racist:

1) The football staff is no longer going to refer to our Black student athletes as "disposable gladiators," all of our football players are equally important to us and particularly those in the Mustangs 2 deep depth chart!!

2) Our handful of Asian, Indian and Hispanic students will now be able to enter the premises of all of our 149 fraternities and sororities. Yes, that's right, I've issued a directive that they are 100% welcome if they are either assisting our White students with tutoring and/or they are working in the kitchen!!

3) Dakota Dickson will not be funneled into our Black football academic curriculum which mostly consists of life building skills for Blacks like parking (instead of stealing) BMW's at our spring lily white Panhellenic formals and White only oil industry fracking networking cocktail seminars in the Ritz Carlton's Petroleum Club Penthouse Suite!!

4) We are no longer marketing at the Madison Club or Jetset Magazine to uber affluent parents with promises of "100% guaranteed admission if your Trust Fund child is not accepted at Texas, Stanford, Vanderbilt and all the Ivy League and UC System schools."

5) The Student Conduct handbook has been updated advising all SMU students to no longer start conversations with "Do you know who my Daddy is??"

Shocky, too bad you don't have an I-phone, otherwise I would send you a very FUN foto of me skinny dipping!!

XXXOOO

Tiffany Von Strudel the Third
SMU Chancellor

Fun Fact: Your North Scottsdale neighbor Colt Knost was recently inducted into the SMU Hall of Fame, still can't believe he could walk almost a dozen rounds on the hilly Olympic Club Lake course in winning the US Amateur back in the day without a golf cart!!

---

🗣️ "We still have that chip on our shoulder."

📺: @Kevin8Jennings on @accnetwork pic.twitter.com/cDd2fDCvu4

— SMU Football (@SMUFB) July 22, 2025

smu qb1 jennings actual full quote wuz as follows:

"we still have that chip on our shoulder because smu is legit low key racist and the weather in texas is kinda like living in hades, dakota dickson is gonna be in for a rude awakening and is ******"

The @CapitalOne @OrangeBowl Media Tour presented by @duffysmvp is underway with @CanesFootball for the entire 8am hour on @560WQAM and streaming on the @Audacy app. pic.twitter.com/YqZ4mQWWIf

— The Joe Rose Show (@JoeRoseShow) July 22, 2025

miami head coach crustyballs analysis of his football program:

"86% of our semi pro student athletes got multiple untreated stds from south beach, we hope to lower than number this fall but unfortunately we've recruited a lotta ******bags like carson beck"

"ima always telling my disposable gladiators, take care of your bodies and do NOT order the 30 day old deep fried barracuda at sexy fish but do they listen to me??"

Full steam ahead. @carsonbeck01 can’t wait to strap up in the orange and green this fall 🙌 pic.twitter.com/N6bVKzGxV3

— Miami Hurricanes Football (@CanesFootball) July 22, 2025

"We're so honored to be in that facility. It's the nicest one I've been in."

📺 ACC Network pic.twitter.com/nXonF7aTw4

— Virginia Football (@UVAFootball) July 22, 2025

virginia athletic director quote re: the road game to cal on november 1st:

"we're working with commissioner phillips to hopefully flip our conference battle with cal from berkeley to charlottesville so shocky can play again the fabulous coore & crenshaw farmington country club 10 hole short course (as much FUN as the pine valley short course) on a saturday gameday morning 1st out before meeting our creepy as **** mascot"

https://instagr.am/p/DLAO68Ksxee

Those mats aren't cheap fyi https://t.co/5Nhg0a0nKo

— Club Pro Guy (@ClubProGuy) July 22, 2025

2025 us junior boy's amateur: 2nd round update

after shooting a 76 at brook hollow this morning xihuan chang is not gonna advance into the match play competition but his 2 day +11 score did beat future stanford commit charlie woods by 3 strokes!!

🚨👀🐅 #PHOTO — Tiger looking ready. He’s walking around Trinity Forest GC in Dallas to watch Charlie compete at the U.S. Junior Am. Full golf gear, even shoes. 🔥
(Via: @acaseofthegolf1) pic.twitter.com/MIXn0JHqII

— TWLEGION (@TWlegion) July 21, 2025

next up for xihuan is the 2025 us amateur at the olympic club next month where he'll be the lone representative for them california golden bears

Every year, @usopengolf sectional qualifying day is a painful reminder of the #letter I received from the @USGA back in 1995. pic.twitter.com/NCI42KUbB2

— Club Pro Guy (@ClubProGuy) June 6, 2022

Micah: 2
Our guys: 0 😂

Shoutout to the real MVPs — @CardinalEquip keeping us sharp (and humble) all year long 👏 pic.twitter.com/lEyBb8TJDo

— Stanford Football (@StanfordFball) July 21, 2025

stanford observer (went to 10 week summer school at branner hall between my junior & senior years at stinson beach high school back in the day, took late nite showers with my curvy brunette yoga female dorm mates from mercer island washington & princeton new jersey but sadly not at the same time) shocky's take on the cards 2025 season:

"it's a paradigm shift for old blues but in the new era of college football with conference realignments just around the corner & the western towns of palo alto and berkeley most likely a package deal it's imperative that we root for the cardinals to win as many games as possible with the exception of the BIG GAME on november 25th"

"no cap"

Justin Wilcox with a candid answer on CFB today

“The natural response is to get defensive and shield. They are still 17-23 year olds that need mentorship. It’s not the same but if you don’t like it you don’t have to do this job. You have to continue to pour into them.” pic.twitter.com/QJpeG3j03t

— Thomas Dunn (@Thomasdunn24) July 22, 2025

coach wilcox's explanation of why the bears wuz 6-7 last season with 3-4 games lost to failed field goal kicking:

"yeah relationships are critical in today's college football but unfortunately i did not have any sort of relationship with either ice in his veins mateen bhaghani or his parents so when shocky reached out to me on their behalf i just trusted my longtime coeur d'alene beer drinking buddy ryan longwell that bringing in an emotionally volatile big leg kicker wuz gonna improve the program but in retrospect running off mateen wuz a really ******* dumb azz decision that altered the navigational course of the 2024 season into the rocks"

https://instagr.am/p/DMY0DRvM3tT
https://instagr.am/p/DCIon3wPP-X

This is not a post by Shocky

Shocky, have you been watching Stick, the golf comedy /drama with Owen Wilson on AppleTV?

Max Homa had a cameo last week.

Collin Morikawa had an even bigger cameo this week.

calalum, shocky and his kids/rescue pets don't watch no tv (other than pro golf tournaments & scouting this fall our future bears football opponents), we all interact with each other & got good imaginations!!

pic.twitter.com/UVRU0aLX07

— Wow Animals (@WOW_ANIMALS1) July 10, 2025

but glad to hear that homa is finally using his time productively these days

Last guy on the course today. Had to make up for lost time https://t.co/l5o5Dshlfs

— max homa (@Maxhoma) September 30, 2024

Let’s ride #GoDeacs 🎩 pic.twitter.com/504svTOMK8

— Wake Forest Football (@WakeFB) July 23, 2025

quote from former all acc explosive game changing undersized running back demond claiborne:

"it's really quite remarkable how shocky predicted this but coach christy's husband has finally come outta the closet and left her for a kind man named jimmy in linville and now she wants her favorite california golden bear to become her assistant dance/cheer coach while incorporating yoga/meditation into the program, the deacs future has never looked brighter!!"

https://instagr.am/p/Ct23wEUO_Ib
fun fact: bill coore's alma mater is my 2nd favorite school in the acc!!

heavy is the head that wears the crown in winston-salem#

POV: Syracuse Football Content Day

📸🍊🎯 pic.twitter.com/ORtE9UO6uj

— Syracuse Football (@CuseFootball) July 22, 2025

syracuse head coach fran brown responding to gameday attendance questions this fall:

"look, it's really not that complicated to attend our games, leaving manhattan you drive around 700 miles north towards canada and then take the 3rd exit off the turnpike past the wawa and your at the stadium plus if you get lost you can always just call me"

https://instagr.am/p/CoK6n02pjJc


**** balenciaga#

Charlotte- nice place to ride scooters!! #ACCKickoff #H2P pic.twitter.com/USaehqsfAk

— Pat Narduzzi (@CoachDuzzPittFB) July 23, 2025

pitt head coach reflecting on last season's last minute chip shot missed field goal in an un******* unreal victory over visiting california at acrisure stadium in steel town:

"on behalf of everyone associated with the pittsburgh panthers football program we would like to extend out most sincere appreciation to coach wilcox for running off ice in his veins placekicker mateen bhaghani, thank you coach!!"

🎮 @ROCthePanther… IS IN THE GAME pic.twitter.com/OpsvgGPwtz

— Pitt Panthers (@Pitt_ATHLETICS) July 7, 2025

This Noles squad has embraced the expectations - look for big things out of Tallahassee this season 👀

📺 @accnetwork pic.twitter.com/bEes5DOJ1t

— ACC Football (@ACCFootball) July 23, 2025

florida state head coach mike norvell reflecting on last season's 2-10 season:

"we're looking forward to getting the **** outta the acc as the exit fee goes down to $75,000,000 and joining the talladega intercoastal conference which celebrates 2.68 gpa dumb azzs playing losing football"

"and huge props to coach wilcox for running off mateen bhaghani, ryan coe missing field goals from 36 and 38 yards was truly the difference in the noles exciting 14-9 victory in tallahassee, thanks justin, i owe you another cold beer or three!!"

https://instagr.am/p/CTf5CYKLuR5

High praise from QB1#GoCards x @millermoss7 pic.twitter.com/diLPjcREY7

— Louisville Football (@LouisvilleFB) July 23, 2025

ex usc trojan back up & now louisville qb1 miller moss on kentucky's golf courses:

"not gonna lie, it's VERY upsetting to hear that shocky as one of the top 5 foremost golf course architecture critics on planet earth thinks that kentucky is a wasteland for courses worth playing, trust me elvis, the governor of this great state, the police chief of louisville in charge of the valhalla club & justin thomas are not gonna take this bull**** lightly!!"

Shocky1 said:

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https://instagr.am/p/DCw_bwAysdN
MAJOR announcement by the cal ticketing office, the bench student season tickets are now being sold for football & men's basketball games for an annual cost of $125
https://calbears.com/sports/2023/8/10/the-bench-student-section.aspx

this is an abject FAILURE decision by markeisha everrett & presumably with ron rivera's approval (if he truly has the keys to anything) that's gonna limit the magic of cal football to those from affluent pebble beach families on 17 mile drive while ******* over the poor azz kids from seaside

berkeley has a record setting number of 1st in family college students with crushing/staggering student loan debt that are from very low socioeconomic backgrounds that worked their azzs off to achieve 4.5+ gpas & earn admission/schollys to the #1 ranked public university in the world...many of them also worked part time jobs in high school & did not go to high school football games (just like 99%+ of all incoming international students have never attended an american football game) like the rich kids at legoland & stinson beach high schools

poor as **** kids who grew up on the 2nd floor over a laundry in san francisco like my berkeley grad tiger moms back in the day will NEVER be able to afford going to cal football games & honestly this is gonna cost the program thousands of potential future fans/donors that will NOT be imprinted with cal football during their collegiate days

and then when many of these currently poor as **** students build generational wealth in a vast variety of ways including venture capital start ups then the university will ask them to donate and these solicitations are gonna be ignored/deleted

not offering FREE tixs to all berkeley students for all gamedays is not only out of character for a PUBLIC university but also 99% locks in the cal men's basketball program which is in an alligator roll death spiral since the termination of cal's monster class to another 16th (only ahead of stanford) attendance ranking among acc teams



yeah ron & the players are gonna look up at the stands at the september 6th texas southern game & see 40,000+ empty/unoccupied seats along with blue tarps everywhere & wonder why there's NO ENERGY in the stadium

---

2025 cal football ticketing update re FREE tixs for all berkeley students:

the following are transparent email answers from the athletic department's chief development officer beth tafolla-voetech who honestly should've been named by chancellor lyons as the interim athletic director instead of the co-****tards jay larson & jennifer simon-o'neil

Hi Bill-

It's nice to hear from you. I hope you are well!!

Jay John is no longer on the staff directory as he retired from Cal.

As for student tickets, it's my understanding that we charge approximately $125 for a football and men's basketball student season ticket/combo pass. The idea behind charging is that we believe students are more likely to attend if they've paid for the ticket.

Beth
______________________________________________

Hi Bill,

I am not sure if Ron has been consulted on the student ticket decision yet, but I imagine he will be. I do know Markeisha and her team have a detailed marketing strategy for each home football game, including the first one, but I am not sure of the specific game plan and wouldn't want to paraphrase in my response.

Thank you and Go Bears!

Beth

shocky's translation: ron has NOT been consulted by the 100% unqualified markeisha everrett & her lazy azz/non innovative (doesn't respond to my emails) director of revenue vasileios iliopoulos

this is ******* unreal & there's gonna be 40,000+ empty seats (50,000+ if the bears lose the 1st game in corvallis) for the season opener against texas southern at memorial stadium and that's just a shame

“You sign up to play a game against Georgia Tech, and people know what they are going to get.”

🎙️@CoachBrentKeyGT
📺ACCNetwork#StingEm 🐝 pic.twitter.com/JIcGOUAKB9

— Georgia Tech Football (@GeorgiaTechFB) July 23, 2025

georgia tech head coach brent key explaining his ugly azz wardrobe choice & also commenting on cal recruiting in georgia:

"yeah it seems like just yesterday when cuonzo, shareef & shocky recruited jaylen (who then helped recruit all american wideout demetris robertson in conjunction with jacob peeler) and the front page of espn's online news stated "California's Monster Class is Shocking the College Basketball Recruiting World" with the bears successful recruitment of 3 mcdonalds all americans (jb, ivan & jabari)"





georgians that fell in the cali sun!!#

https://instagr.am/p/DHU83_jottX
wut up hong kong bear, u gonna go swimming today at shocky's favorite lap pool in asia??

clearly commish phillips gotta ged (or wuz homeschooled or something) or maybe "earned" a florida state degree cuz this is just a dumb azz rule, basically the host school is responsible for "field security" which means that if the bears win the game & we (20,000+) all storm stanford stadium's field with seconds still left on the clock then andrew luck is gonna get a ginormous ******* fine, KAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

https://instagr.am/p/DLs8lncMnck
fun memory of the 2023 game: shocky is running around the field flapping his arms kinda like a captain insano seagull at fisherman's wharf when he notices a young dad with his 8 year old daughter digging up turf near the end zone with spoons & putting it in a couple of extra large concession drink cups...ask him wut's up with that & dad tells me that they gonna replant it in their back yard...shocky fist bumps dad & tells him "that's really good parenting!!" while his daughter just ignores me & meticulously focuses on the task at hand



pro tip: how did shocky get to midfield/50 yard line before anybody else other than the bears players & staff??...the key is going around the stadium away from the bears section end of the field with black jacketed apex security personnel to the OTHER side of the field which is basically cleared out except for a couple of xanax looking depressed cards fans...shocky was sprinting like a quick twitch +1 athletic substitute teacher at modern yoga past the 30 yard line with 10 seconds still left on the clock, let's ******* go!!

acc rules r for losers!!#

Defense leading the way 😈

🗣️ @DarianMensah pic.twitter.com/Z34o6Uk5rJ

— Duke Football (@DukeFOOTBALL) July 24, 2025

former blue devils point guard bobby hurley's feedback re: left coast athletics:

"jason kidd can go **** himself!!"

🗣️ "The ACC is very strong conference when it comes to coaching and playing .. I think it's a great thing for the ACC to have NFL coaches in the ACC." - @BCFootball Coach Bill O’Brien pic.twitter.com/lHAyBV5bD3

— ACC Football (@ACCFootball) July 24, 2025

boston college head coach bill o'brien on comparisons:

"let's be real here, NOBODY has ever academically confused boston college with mit, harvard or berkeley but some people have confused me & bill belichick with the pillsbury dough boy"

https://instagr.am/p/BZRTvlagD9_

https://instagr.am/p/DJFY5O0SBcL
rescue doggy dog fundraising advocate shocky's opinion of convicted cruelty to animals/dog fighting criminal former virginia tech qb1 michael vick:

"unfortunately a virginia tech education did not teach the biggest piece **** on planet earth michael vick to love all creatures and the fact that this university has not disowned him says all you need to know about virginia tech"

Why is Clemson a special place? This is why... pic.twitter.com/7RN4pkv2dN

— Clemson Football (@ClemsonFB) July 24, 2025

clemson head coach dabo swinney on why clemson is a special place:

"look, not that i read books or something but the stereotypes perpetuated by greg iles and william faulkner regarding the deep south are not supported by facts as only 32% of our fans of the 81,500 capacity at death valley on gamedays are genetically related to each other, that means that a whopping 68% majority of our tigers fans are NOT in bred!!"

https://instagr.am/p/DMZZfsUOyJb
^ real talk: gabi is a +2 when it comes to hooking up (and tryna to change) with losers

2025 minnesota open (the land of 10,000 lakes & mosquitoes): 1st round update

max homa (66, tied for 14th): congrats to homa on hitting all 18 greens in regulation for the 1st time in his pga career (rounds at valencia muni back in the day don't count), he's driving the ball accurately & his crisp simple motion iron play is ELITE right now...and he burned the cup on literally a dozen holes too, rolling the rock with NO EFFORT & hopefully the putts start dropping tomorrow cuz max wants to get home to lacey in scottsdale asap!!

The Playoffs pressure is bigger than golf.

With baby number 2 on the way, @MaxHoma is racing against time to play in the post-season. pic.twitter.com/EkD2GKe3e0

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) July 24, 2025

byeong hun an (69, tied for 68th): pretty good scrambling (getting up & down from off the greens 5 outta 6 times) & scoring despite missing 8 fairways off the tee into the punishing 4 inch rough, ben gotta drive the ball straighter manana

kk limbhaust update: as a result of the korn ferry tour reshuffle based upon performances, kk did not get into this week's even in glenview illinois with only a couple of opportunities left in the 2025 season to earn a spot in the playoff tournaments & a 2026 korn ferry tour card

morikawa caddie update: collin's temp scottish & british opens looper billy foster has agreed to bag for washed up lee westwood during the 9/11 terrorist financed liv exhibition league's final outings during august...morikawa's best solution is kk but the short term solution would be his wife kat or shocky during the fed ex playoff tournaments

Signing off from #ACCKickoff 🩵 pic.twitter.com/C2SHCX8661

— Carolina Football (@UNCFootball) July 24, 2025

north carolina football

who the **** cares (one foot out the door)#

Strong conference. Strong squad. 💪

📺 @accnetwork pic.twitter.com/ZNcJ7HP3Fg

— ACC Football (@ACCFootball) July 24, 2025

north carolina state head coach dave doreen's take on his favorite coach in the acc:

"this is truly a no brainer question, on behalf of the pack nation and literally every head coach in the acc, thank you to justin wilcox for not listening to that dumb azz shocky and instead running off mateen bhaghani!!"

Augusta National gate!😱 pic.twitter.com/lwSVp1evPQ

— Greg (@atgregtaylor) July 24, 2025

if we don't take better care of mother earth we're gonna leave planet earth with devastating natural disasters for future generations, check out the apocalyptic zombie flooding movie scene in the below video at the 1 minute 24 second mark that is playing out in real time right now this summer in new york city's subway system

People teamed up to clean their local beach in Vietnam removing 50,000 kilograms of waste
pic.twitter.com/GptU5RyAJp

— Science girl (@gunsnrosesgirl3) July 24, 2025

**** around & find out (long live the sierra club & other pro environment groups)#

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: this is the 9th consecutive post by shocky, he cannot post again unless there is monster reader posts/engagement per the rules of of the bearinsider.com

Shocky, let me hit you up with two O-line questions:

1. If I'm counting right, this will be Vatikani's fourth year in the program. Is he ready to ball out this fall, or what?

2. Make a prediction: Which, if any, Cal O-linemen will get some sort of post-season all-conference recognition i.e. 1st team, 2nd team, HM, etc.?

Pros try their best Happy Gilmore swing 🏌️‍♂️#HappyGilmore2

pic.twitter.com/ZjQLCGrOVE

— NUCLR GOLF (@NUCLRGOLF) July 25, 2025

^ morikawa working on his follow thru (when he should be spending time calling shocky asking him to caddie for him for FREE next month)

2025 minnesota open (the land of 10,000 lakes & mosquitoes): 2nd round update

max homa (68, tied for 24th): homa pipes/strikes his drive on the 607 yard par 5 18th hole into the fairway with his now reliable power fade (non wipey) & then unfortunately with 231 yards to the pin over the gianormous fronting lake (which is just really bad 1980s american golf architecture) hits it a couple of grooves too low on the club face & rinses his ball in the water en route to a bogey 6...but do NOT cry for maxamillion (and hopefully he won't either go to a candy azz soft pity party), homa is playing ******* FANTASTIC championship golf rite now!!

byeong hun an (70, missed cut): ben hit only 16 outta 28 fairways the last 2 rounds & is now projected as #71 in the fed ex rankings which means he needs a strong tournament at the wyndham next week to move into the top 70 in order to advance to the 1st round of the playoffs starting in memphis