cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:20p, 9/16/24
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster class: BLOCKING

a major point of emphasis for cal's monster class this season will be the recognition of physical BLOCKING particulary since the wideouts (other than mavin anderson on the ott td) & tight ends (other than corey dyches the entire game) didn't do much of that **** on saturday (2.7 yards per running play against a fcs defense) which is carryover from last season's powderpuff flag football candy azz soft BLOCKING

so props to dynamic playmaker nohl williams throwing shout out props to ryan yaites, jordan king & tj bollers for their key blocks on his electric kickoff return touchdown!!!

the first time in his 7 years in berkeley that justin recognizes publicly a key BLOCK will be a 1st

https://instagr.am/p/C_oUqsNp9cd
cal's monster class auburn game wide receiver/tight end BLOCKING mvp award:

look nyziah hunter is the bears #1 receiver right now but the play that impressed shocky the most wuz a yet another unsuccessful coach bloesch intentionally running cars into telephone poles play call during which nyziah relentlessly blocked the tigers db for 20 yards down the ******* field near the cal sidelines as the staff & his teammates cheered his physical **** u up style of play!!!

nyziah hunter=bad azz BLOCKING mvp

yeah this exciting play wuz not viewable for cal's tv fans, r u gonna represent this upcoming sat nite at 7:30 pm at memorial stadium so u can see ur own BLOCKING mvp candidate plays in real life or r u gonna sit on ur sofa/type on the gameday thread???

in coach toler we TRUST#
cal's monster class san diego state BLOCKING mvp awards:

look it's NOT a cowinkadink that the breakaway runs by THE JET!!!! involve bad azz high energy BLOCKING, this **** don't just magically happen because ur a high gpa true student athlete at the #1 ranked public university in the world, got it?

https://instagr.am/p/C_7XIWDsRyq
1st highlife play: pulling trench workers #63 rush reimer & #76 bastian swinney are moving like their hair is on ******* fire & create an outside lane for oaktown's finest while #87 jack endries seals his defender to the inside

2nd highlife play: check out #87 jack endries pushing his defender 10 yards down the field, that **** didn't happen last season with the 98 lb weakling who got sand pushed in his face all the time while tackles #72 tj sessions & #52 nick morrow are athletically running downfield looking to **** somebody up & #74 matthew wykoff knocks his tackler sideways but the KEY block is #10 corey dyches pushing his defender to the outside which creates the scamper

3rd highlife play: #10 corey dyches (even the man of steel is not infallible) whiffs on the blitzer but #63 rush reimer pounds his defender inside to create the outside running lane

4th highlife play: best rushing gain of the season involves #83 trond grizzell taking his guy to the ******* mat kinda like a wwe diamond encrusted belt champion but check out the pulling tight end (please help me identify this HERO) deliver a VICIOUS knockout block at the line of scrimmage

r u wanted in 2 states can't move wrong?????#
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HoopDreams
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7:03p, 9/16/24
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C__bR78BpSx/
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:19p, 9/16/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C_uQy5qRh_7
cal football program's friday nite at the claremont

pro tip: when ordering porn ("Curvy Brunette Yoga Females Doing Reverse Cowgirl!!" is a real crowd pleaser) on ur room tv, call the front desk 1st & make sure all charges r attributed to coach wilcox...u can thank me later with a tip of ur helmet when he gets a check out statement with 96 adult movies at $17.95 per movie!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_3qDonMMHO
shut up, shocky#
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

So guess what just happened?

The Claremont just sent me my Friday night room bill for $2,369.27 in adult movie charges and now Chancellor Lyons wants me to enter a recovery diversion program for porn addicts at the Silverado Institute for Wellness.

Look Shocky between preparing for Florida State and my new role of handing out FREE tickets to all students I don't have time for this **** so would you please do me a solid and tell Rich this was just your idea of a funny prank that went off the rails?

Don't tell anybody but our wholesome Nando didn't order any adult movies but he did buy the Sponge Bob Square Pants premium channel!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_V0Cz_NnVt
Anyways let's get this issue resolved, my life is very scripted and I don't like any surprises.

Go Bears!!

Best regards,

Coach Wilcox
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HongKong_Bear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:22p, 9/16/24
Sounds good, looking forward to it. Also tentatively planning to try to make an away game then in 2025 and visit one of our new ACC opponents. Really hope the team is focused on Florida State, many people will be watching this game and it will help our profile and recruiting if we can produce a strong performance. I got the impression Auburn and their fanbase didn't think we were capable of much, we don't have that luxury now with an 0-3 FSU squad that is probably down but looking for some redemption.
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Shocky1
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9:50p, 9/16/24
https://instagr.am/p/C_i3Y6myeFp
cal's monster class fashion update:

yeah becky g's new short cut is cute as **** but can she still get a triggering ponytail outta it or wut??

the most sexy move by any curvy brunette yoga female on planet earth is quickly retying their tail with quick twitch +1 athletic fingers!!

don't quite understand why so many of our 2024 roster california golden bears got man buns but this is a judgement free safe zone for fashionista decisions, got it??

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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:57p, 9/16/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/C7NM6MaRY7z
ucla got their azzs handed to them by indiana & washington narrowly lost to instate rival washington state

potential 10+ loss inaugural seasons in the big 10??#

congrats to j-mike on his breakout zero receptions & one dropped pass in ucla's big 10 opener in building up his nfl resume!!!

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Shocky1
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10:15p, 9/16/24

**** fsu#
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10:21p, 9/16/24

CALAHASSEE IS BEAR TERRITORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#
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Shocky1
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10:23p, 9/16/24

burners gonna burn (in berkeley)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to HoopDreams • 5:24a, 9/17/24
HoopDreams said:
Shockster sighting

#neongreenthenewfuchsia

after playing both of these new coore & crenshaw (the greatest living golf architects & only rivaled in the history of the game by alistar mackenzie) designs the last 2 weeks brambles in middletown is significantly better (more strategic options with fun playability & a tighter walkable routing with firmer playing conditions) than wicker point on lake martin in alabama

shocky's bill coore top 10:

1. sand hills (mullen nebraska): world top 10, this stunning showstopper in rural western nebraska is the best course designed in the last 80+ years & an ethereal pure golfing experience

2. friar's head (baiting hollow new york): world top 15, this course is evolving over times & reveals more of her timeless beauty & cunning strategy with each visit

3. cabot cliffs (nova scotia canada): world top 30, arguably the most dramatic course in the world with insanely dramatic atlantic ocean clifftop holes

4. lost farm (tasmania australia): world top 50, perfect bouncy links conditions with a wonderfully flowing routing that explores all regions of the property

5. shanqin bay (hainan island china): world top 50, the best course in asia & it's not even close...some of the coolest short par 4s on planet earth

5. bandon trails (bandon oregon): world top 75, from the ocean to the sand dunes to the forest & back again to the dunes it's gotta cypress point vibe with the routing

6. te arai south (near auckland new zealand): world top 100, 15 ocean holes with intrigue & playability

7. old sandwich (plymouth massachusetts): world top 100, new england charmer

8. sheep ranch (bandon oregon): world top 100, a compelling argument that bunkers are overrated (there are none at the ranch)

9. streamsong red (lakeland florida): world top 100, 2nd best course after seminole in the sunshine state...**** fsu

10. yokohama west (toyko japan): world top 100, 2nd best course in japan after hirono, nothing lost in translation here

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Econ141
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5:56a, 9/17/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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Shocky1
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6:19a, 9/17/24
https://instagr.am/p/C_1YEy1yMM2
https://instagr.am/p/C6mprgbPMDw
doms new biz venture!!#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for artistic/innovative entrepreneurs)
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9:55a, 9/17/24

together we **** florida state (until they join the talladega trade school intercostal conference)#
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9:57a, 9/17/24

this **** is getting live (#0 will **** u up!!!)#
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10:07a, 9/17/24
The first two were earned and well-deserved. The ones about FSU are more jinx and bulletin board material than not. That's a great way to get walloped by hubris. I hope the Cal players and coaches don't overlook FSU like the fans who made those memes.

medical warning: ^ cal fans comments like the one above r a clear indicator that it's important to have ur testerone levels checked on an annual basis to see if they r dropping precipitously low or something

the new era of the california golden bear football program will **** anybody up at any ******* time at any ******* field, got it?

cal's monster class (does NOT take any **** from 3rd rate 2.5 gpa academic skool in the sunshine state)#



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Shocky1
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4:59p, 9/17/24

mental growth (academic achievement) is as important as football development in berkeley (which is NOT a football factory that discards its disposable gladiators to face uncertain futures)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that got ambition & that wanna u use their minds as a weapon)

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Shocky1
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5:37p, 9/17/24


r u gonna be in tallahassee saturday nite?? (the storm is building, **** fsu)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:26p, 9/17/24
Shocky1 said:
INJURY UPDATE: SAN DIEGO STATE

jaydn ott-day to day, probable for san diego state
fernando mendoza-hyperextended knee 100% fine at today's practice
david reese-probable for san diego state
sioape vatikanii-out this week, hopeful for florida state
will mcdonald-out this week, hopeful for florida state
matthew littlejohn-day to day
tobias merriweather-out this week
kyion graves-out this week
liam johnson-out this week
marcus harris-ineligible 1st half this week due to targeting penalty

https://instagr.am/p/C3ft8szOxG3
https://instagr.am/p/C-3jgM_tyuc
INJURY UPDATE: FLORIDA STATE

as expected this will be the 1st time this season that the justice league will be close to full strength, let's ******* go!!

jaydn ott-probable
david reese-probable
sioape vatijkani-probable
will mcdonald-probable
matthew littlejohn-doubtful
tobias merriweather-out this week
kyion graves-out this week
laim johnson-out this week
craig woodson-eligible, served suspension last week due to targeting penalty
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6:40p, 9/17/24
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7:26p, 9/17/24

there is a very high probability of a negotiated settlement between the acc and both florida state & clemson that would end the ongoing pointless litigation & keep both schools in the conference with a shorter gor than the current 2037 while offering a revised revenue structure that would reward schools with an upward trajectory media presence like cal which right is the #1 SOCIAL MEDIA TRENDING FOOTBALL PROGRAM (AND THIS INCLUDES THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE) ON PLANET EARTH!!!!!

and so with that being said **** florida state!!



^ shocky's favorite song video of ALL TIME (but get permission from moms 1st, talking to u jaydn)!!
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Shocky1
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7:34p, 9/17/24
^ chancellor lyons just texted me advising that any cal football player that has not learned ALL the lyrics to the above song will NOT be eligible to earn a berkeley degree & furthermore will not be eligible for this year's orange bowl game



https://instagr.am/p/BG2c9tghHcW
singalong with shocky (singing real loud & off tune is FUN)!!#
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11:21p, 9/17/24
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11:28p, 9/17/24


bloody saturdays in westwood#
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82gradDLSdad
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:07a, 9/18/24
Shocky1 said:


r u gonna be in tallahassee saturday nite?? (the storm is building, **** fsu)#


Kid's Kashmir is great!
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:50a, 9/18/24
Shocky1 said:
Econ141 said:
Good news on the o-line! Do you have any insight on why Starling was nowhere to be seen in the stat sheet?

I sat in row 74 and my gosh the view looking at the Campanile with the clouds rolling in was A+.


COACH TOLER'S WIDEOUT PLAYING ROTATIONS:

game 1 vs davis:
mavin anderson: 46 snaps
trond grizzell: 41
jonathan brady: 34
nyziah hunter: 28
mikey matthews: 18
mason starling: 17
jordan king: 3

fun fact: current (that will change next season when the new ncca 105 scholly & total players cap is implemented) jordan king threw a key physical BLOCK that sprung all american nohl williams on his game changing kickoff touchdown return!!


game 2 vs auburn:
mavin anderson: 46
jonathan brady: 43
nyziah hunter: 41
trond grizzell: 27
mikey matthews: 35
mason starling: 13


game 3 vs san diego state:

interesting facts: coach toler started mavin anderson, trond grizzell & jonathan brady instead of rising all acc upside nyziah hunter...mason starling warmed up with the team & stood with his helmet on (usually an indicator that a player is game ready healthy) but dnp

fun fact: late in the game the aztecs safety #24 cheated creeping in to help in run support putting 8 in the box, as nando walked up to the line he visibly noticed with his head movement that nyziah got 1 on 1 press covrage with the corner...it wuz zero surprise to shocky then when mendoza hit hunter with a nfl tight window back shoulder 15 yard touchdown strike to seal the game!!

https://instagr.am/p/C_7VG3ixozM
fun fact ii: josiah martin got unreal upside with his keenan allen long strides & suddenness, like THE JET!!!! he's a killah mamushi & gonna be a star star star star star star & will probably be someday bringing megan thee stallion as his +1 date to the nfl pro bowl game in honolulu or something

fun fact iii: the entire staff is excited about the upside of true freshman trevor rogers (deep family berkeley grad roots) who is the rare combo (kinda like the taco bell/pizza hut stores) of size & elite track SPEED

game 3 vs san diego state:
mavin anderson 46
jonathan brady 44
nyziah hunter 43
trond grizzell 36
mikey matthews 32
josiah martin 9
jordan king 4

fun fact: the game turned in the 2nd half when the rushing game started to click when the bears went to a heavy run 2 tight end personnel with jack endries & trond grizzell with improved downfield BLOCKING by the wideouts...expect the offense to start the florida state game with 2 tight ends & 2 wide receivers

"I just think we made a decision at halftime, went in there and told those guys, that's how we were going to win the game," OC Mike Bloesch said. "We needed to come out and impose our will in the second half. And we did that. I thought our backs ran hard. I thought everybody was bought into it. Receivers were blocking down the field. And I think I've talked to you guys about that last week. For us to grow, it's not just the right guard or the or the tight end, it's 11 guys buying into being a great rushing offense."
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Shocky1
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8:35a, 9/18/24


former cal running backs update:

these 3 students athletes with zero nfl upside walked away from life changing berkeley degrees to academically mediocre schools in their quests to become nfl prospects which is never gonna happen, they face uncertain futures in a highly competitive global economy that favors the well educated like cal, stanford & ivy league grads

damien moore (lamar): 13 rushes for 44 yards, 3.4 average
chris street (utah tech): 20 rushes for 60 yards, 3.0 average
ashton hayes (nevada): no stats this season but listed as the backup kick returner on special teams

https://instagr.am/p/DACDTTWNYDB
don't be a dumb azz#
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Shocky1
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9:18a, 9/18/24

this is cal football#
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11:11a, 9/18/24

3-0#
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Shocky1
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3:29p, 9/18/24

THE TAKERS (r heading to callahassee)!!#
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Shocky1
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5:45p, 9/18/24

cal billboard at the corner of whitehall & tennessee next to calahassee's finest dining establishment WHATTTTTAAABURGER!!

yeah the south gotta lotta great spots to permanently clog ur arteries to ensure a slow ******* painful death, there's a waffle house on every corner in alabama

shocky is probably gonna order the 30 day old deep fried blue swordfish special (animal fries, a 32 oz dr pepper & a fudge encrusted brownie with fuschia sprinkles) friday nite

let's ******* go (burp)!!
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Econ141
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5:53p, 9/18/24
Give to Cal Legends!

https://calegends.com/donation/ Do it now. Text every Cal fan you know, give them the link, tell them how much you gave, and ask them to text every Cal fan they know and do the same.
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In reply to HoopDreams • 6:14p, 9/18/24
HoopDreams said:
Shockster sighting

#neongreenthenewfuchsia

shocky not the only california golden bear to recently visit brambles

https://instagr.am/p/C6fYnd6NfNAvfjitslwvYgwV_1dwgG1mid8nzI0
cal is a golf school#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and the only school on planet earth with 3 golfers in the 2024 president's cup at royal montreal blue next week)
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Shocky1
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6:19p, 9/18/24
https://instagr.am/p/Cx5p3djrh09
WARNING: do NOT read/click the FREE link below re: shocky's pathetic attempt to make new friends at florida state unless ur a clinically trained psychologist of socially abhorrent behavior (or u took psych 1 in berkeley)
https://247sports.com/college/florida-state/board/59429/contents/cal-perspective-on-new-acc-rival-florida-state-234171256/?page=8

why can't we be friends (why does shocky eat 15 minute lunches at sprouts/chop shop all ALONE)??#
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Shocky1
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7:47p, 9/18/24

2025 3.75 gpa qb1 from ewa beach & cal commit (utah is starting true freshman isaac wilson this saturday, got 3 more seasons in freezing azz slc)#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna develop nfl upside like jared goff & aaron rodgers while also recognizing that their football days r finite)

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Shocky1
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8:14p, 9/18/24

gpas matter in real world (that's why cal, stanford & ivy league grads r buiding GENERATIONAL WEALTH)

don't be a dumb azz (andrew mcgraw for athletic director)#
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