cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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9:13a, 3/5/23

blowing up yesterday at cal's 2024 junior day & earning an offer wuz 6'2" 225 lbs logan studt from buchanan high school in clovis

coach sirmon is recruiting the 4.65 40 (laser timed) 80" wings +1 athlete as a devastating elite linebacker...too be honest with you he plays with fearless quick strike suddeness & pathological violence kinda like jerrott willard & evan weaver, this guy is near the top of the staff's 2024 defensive big board as a game changing playmaker

defensive graduate assistant austin taylor is doing a good job with this recruitment/relationship building of the all state 1st team backer

logan is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.4 gpa

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and less than a 3 hour car drive from the central valley on gamedays at memorial stadium)
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Shocky1
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10:03a, 3/5/23

big time showout at cal's 2024 junior day from 6'3" 205 lbs well constructed outside linebacker/strong safety jr kirkwood from culver city high school

jr is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.8 gpa

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including so cal)

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Shocky1
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11:17a, 3/5/23

scottsdale scissors gang (taylor belongs 2)#
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Shocky1
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3:22p, 3/5/23

strong showing at cal's 2024 junior day by priority lock down cornerback +1 athletic 5'11" 175 lbs rj whitten from the powerhouse folsom high school program

rj got a monster work ethic, some people call is work he calls it dancing with the stars

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and only 90 minutes away by car from folsom on gamedays in the fall)
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harebear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:02p, 3/5/23
Shocky1 said:
Big C said:

Spring Practice starts pretty soon. Any word on how the O-linemen have been progressing in S&C?

big c, the undisputed leader of cal's monster offensive line & rogaine nil endorser matthew cindric is one of the first 3 gold shirts recipients awarded for s&c excellence during the winter conditioning program

in the foto above with cindo (who has mostly recovered from his multiple fall injuries) it's great to see standing behind him (to the right) key interior offensive lineman bastian swinney back in action, his spring ball development is absolutely critical for the 2023 season

also congrats to gold shirters myles jernigan who emerged last season as the team's most fierce apex predator edge defender along with the x-man & a mystery california golden (running with a under armor head cap & a watch on his left wrist) who needs to be identified by a super sleuth like harebear
David Reese! (3x member of the SEC academic honor roll) who made another smart choice heading from FL --> CA!
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Shocky1
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10:46p, 3/5/23
https://instagr.am/p/CEhVsAXgHo5
harebear=21st century sherlock holmes



it's elementary, my dear dumb azz (just follow the clues)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:13p, 3/5/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
cal's monster offensive line exclusive announcement:

who gonna be the 1st commitment for the california golden bears 2024 class?

camden jones got elite size as a 6'6" 225 lbs with a 80" wingspan tight end that's a nightmare mismatch with +1 athleticism & a 4.75 40 from pasadena high school

plus camden got good hair unlike geep

the university of california, berkeley=#2 ranked university in the world (including the colonnade mall & nobu malibu)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

50 year decision (don't be a dumb azz)#
exclusive announcement: 1st commitment for the 2024 california golden bears class is camden jones

camden, give me some time but already working with housing to see if you can double bunk with rubi rose when you arrive in berkeley for cal's 2023 summer bridge program, ok?
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Shocky1
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11:39p, 3/5/23

fun cal's monster offensive line contest: $1,000,000 (or award substitution at the sole discretion of the monster) to the winner

award: the winner must correctly list from left to right, front row to middle row & back row all of the trench life california golden bears, got it?

contest rules: hare bear & other assorted high iq super sleuths are encouraged to participate but keep in mind the monster reserves the right to change or waive any or all rules/regulations in a capricious manner without advance notice or any justification...shocky reserves the right to pay the winner in us dollars, polynesian currency, ftx cryptocurrency or monopoly money...a curvy brunette yoga female with somewhat accurate entries will be given absolute preference in shopping at restoration hardware or something

in case of tie entries: winner be determined by the most accurate guess of brayden rohme's weight heading into 2023 spring ball

helpful hints: coach mike bloesch's sons names are beau & drew...future head coach in waiting mike saffell got a **** t-shirt collection...cindo don't like free food

submit ur entries, let's have an adventure, our heads in the clouds but our gravity centered



the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (don't be a dumb azz)

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eastcoastcal
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11:44p, 3/5/23
no entry for the contest but those boys look happy and well fed!! hope they got second, third, and fourth plates because we need them big and strong this fall.. Bloesch feeding them right!!!

Serve em plates now so they can lay out our opponents like plates in games
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OsoDorado
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In reply to Shocky1 • 1:04a, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CEhVsAXgHo5
harebear=21st century sherlock holmes

I am so happy Florida transfer LB David Reese wants to pursue his goal to become a doctor at Cal, which is a testament to his academic aspirations, but are you sure he is studly enough to be on the Football team?
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Shocky1
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7:20a, 3/6/23
https://instagr.am/p/CFC5SjKAbs2
oso, david reese is not only not a dumb azz (3.7 gpa in high school), he's shredded like a greek god wearing a gold shirt & gonna compete for the open inside linebacker spot next to the pac 12 #3 leading tackler all american candidate jackson sirmon during cal's 2023 spring ball which starts wednesday march 8th
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:46a, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line update:

6'3" 285 lbs offensive guard rayne mayo jr from valley christian high school (dad is the head football coach) is gonna be making the short drive from san jose to berkeley for cal's 2024 junior day on march 4th

stood next to the good looking fam on the field pregame prior to the stanford big game watching the o-line warm ups, yeah it would probably logistically work with the mayo clan to do friday night light's in san jose & then support jr on saturdays in person in berkeley in the future

rayne is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.67 gpa


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including silicon valley)
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Shocky1
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7:51a, 3/6/23

max homa moves up another spot to #7 in the world & colin morikawa holding steady at #10 heading into this week's players 17th hole island green championship outside of jacksonville

cal is a golf school#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:23a, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line recruting update:

6'6" 285 lbs 83' wingspan offensive tackle mark schroller from mission viejo high school is gonna attend cal's 2024 junior day on saturday march 4th

mark is not a dumb azz, he got a 4.4 gpa

schroller got actionable offers nationwide but this is most likely gonna be a ucla (dad karl played for the bruins just like brayden rohme's dad michael back in the day) or stanford (which may not win single football game during the 2023 season) recruiting battle for them california golden bears

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public (that means EVERYBODY is welcomed, don't be an entitled dumb azz) university in the world (that means yoga studios on every continent)
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Shocky1
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12:51p, 3/6/23
shocky's dumb azz friends: mr sun angel (money guy behind the asu nil collective) from silverleaf who got president michael crow & athletic director ray anderson on speed dial tole me these pac 12 four corner schools (asu, utah, arizona & colorado) to the big 12 unsourced rumours are not legit & just part of an intense misinformation campaign by the big 12

let's be real here, the con artist is afraid to make any public (including twitter) comments/interviews cuz he know's chancellor christ is working to terminate his employment so the only real source for any pac 12 realignment for bears fans is the monster

**** ucla's tracy pierson & his sorry azz broken down lies in an effort to undermine cal's 2024 junior day, these 2 teams are gonna meet this fall at the rose bowl & that's gonna be the biggest game of the year

chicken "4.0 gpa" little is not gonna move to the truck stop conference with **** academic schools (don't be a dumb azz)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 2:13p, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CeRTP5glKCH
the 2024 cal junior day experience this saturday will include a presentation by coach wilcox called "Why not Cal?" (which is direct theft of the speech i ghostwrote for coach martin back during the cal's monster class), "Life after Football" which talks about the 40 (should be 50) year decision/value proposition of a berkeley degree & a chance to tour the campus and sleuth out some of the very intimate crooks & nannies for a late nite romantic sexy yoga rendevous for those with roommates who study in the room all nite, have these people never ******* heard of libraries like doe or moffett or something?

https://instagr.am/p/CV6ekyLv_qw
yeah shocky wishes he roomed with a rescue dog/mutt or two during his time in berkeley rather than a human being(s)...the monster (despite playing the sport all thru hs) is not a baseball fan but the dugout, the batting cage & even the pitcher's mound at evans diamond r great spots at 1:46 am



do u got a roommate? (**** me)

cal 2024 junior day itinerary:

9:30-10:30 am Check-In/Photoshoots begin
Stadium Field Club

11:00 am. Lunch Begins
BBQ Chicken Teriyaki Plates

12:00 pm Introduction w/Benji Palu & Marshall Cherrington

12:15 pm Coach Wilcox Welcome & Staff Introduction

1:00 pm. Junior Day Kicks Off!
Facility Tour/Academic Presentation/UC-Berkeley Campus Tour
Strength & Conditioning Presentation/Position Meetings/N.L.I. & Life after Ball

5:00 pm Closing Remarks

5:30 pm Junior Day Ends

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Shocky1
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9:20p, 3/6/23

6'5" 295 lbs defensive tackle (could potentially flip to offensive tackle) nuku mafi from west high school in salt lake city wuz a high priority guest of honor at cal's 2024 junior day

nuku is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.7 gpa but more importantly he got good hair (unlike coach browning)

with the 2024 california golden bears high school class projected to target around only 8-10 true student athletes, schollys are already at a premium which makes mafi's actionable offer even more special, he's a true all american

make no mistake about it, nuku is a grown azz man

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that are tired of the freezing azz snow)
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Shocky1
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9:38p, 3/6/23

6'4" 245 lbs apex predator edge defender/defensive end ratumana bulabalavu from the army and navy academy high school in carlsbad wuz a big time priority visitor for cal's 2024 junior day

ratumana is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.5 gpa at the academically rigorous high school

bulabalavu is also a standout rugby star with his +1 athleticism

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including legoland)
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:30p, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
grrrrah said:
"Throw your bike at him - that'll help!"
https://instagr.am/p/CFNvhGZF8jo
look grrrrah, not tryna be snarky or a know it all or something but fire fighting professionals will tell u that throwing bicycles is arguably the most effective risk management method for controlled fires

kinda surprised that as a berkeley grad u don't know this **** but whatever

major cal's 2024 junior days recruiting news:

the california golden bears #1 target on the staff's big board fiery all american joe fasho missed junior day this saturday at memorial stadium cuz his dad got arrested for being an unedukated ****** bag while riding a bicycle

huge loss for the bears#
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HoopDreams
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10:37p, 3/6/23
get it.


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Shocky1
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10:49p, 3/6/23
sam jackson v>>>>>>>>>>>>joe fasho jr>>>kylar murray

where's fernando???#
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OsoDorado
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In reply to Shocky1 • 11:00p, 3/6/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CeRTP5glKCH

Similar to my question about whether Florida transfer LB David Reese is studly enough to be on our Football team, are you sure Madison Beer is sexy enough to be in a Shocky thread?

Edit: P.S. -- no need to respond, since you've already posted so many insane pics of Madison. I only wish she had gone to Cal !!
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Shocky1
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8:02a, 3/7/23
https://instagr.am/p/BsjbzYxBlDq
look oso, don't tell nobody but doms & madison r half sisters that failed nutrition 101 their freshmen years in berkeley, visiting associate professor/non certified t-rex substitute instructor at modern yoga dr shocky von monsterflakin didn't cut them no slack or something, they not happy about that ****

https://instagr.am/p/BZrTU3Oje4v
grading on a curve (is a slippery slope)#
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:08a, 3/7/23
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
Quote:

right now the bears got 27 scholly departures (with more on the way):

daniel scott, safety...out of eligibility
odua isibor, edge defender...out of eligiblity
jamieson sheahan, punter...out of eligilbity
braxton croteau, outside linebacker...medical retirement
ryan lange, guard...football retirement
kyle smith, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ryan puskas, inside linebacker...portal as grad transfer
orin patu, edge defender...grad transfer to arizona
patrick histake, edge defender...portal to hawaii...no berkeley degree
henry ikahihifo, outside linebacker...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
femi oladejo, linebacker...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
trey paster, linebacker...portal as grad transfer
ben coleman, guard...grad transfer to asu
spencer lovell, guard...grad transfer to kansas
nick alftin, tight end...portal as grad transfer
keleki latu, tight end...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
jermaine terry, tight end...portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree
j michael sturdivant...portal to ucla...no berkeley degree
ashton hayes, running back...portal to nevada...no berkeley degree
chris street, running back...portal...no berkeley degree
damien moore, running back...portal to fresno state...no berkeley degree
decarlos brooks, running back...grad transfer portal to asu
slater zellers, longsnapper...grad transfer to asu
dario longhetto, kicker...grad transfer to asu
jack plummer, quarterback...grad transfer to louisville
kai milner, quarterback...portal to northern arizona...no berkeley degree
zach johnson, quarterback...portal as grad transfer
https://instagr.am/p/BixRSjoh6bS
important note: all potential player movement projections in this post reflect my opinions & not those necessarily of the staff

coach wilcox indicated in the recent football zoom meeting that he wuz targeting 5 additional scholly players when the transfer portal reopens in may...this will include a quarterback such as ideally ucla's justyn martin if he enters the portal & 1-2 more immediate impact guys for cal's monster offensive line...last season the o-line room wuz at only 14 schollys, it needs to be rightsized to 16+

in that the roster math for the scholly count is currently at 85 (27 additions & 27 departures, see above list), this means there will be another 5 scholly departures after spring ball before the portal reopens in may

so who's most likely gonna be crossing the road to life next's great adventure?

the monster is of the opinion that a majority (if not all) 5 players will come from tight end & wide receivers rooms

it's important to note that all 6 of these players are heading into their 4th year in berkeley this fall, in that these student athletes have had the opportunity to attend multiple summer school sessions there is absolutely no reason that they can't either graduate this summer or with one final semester next fall...nobody is gonna be leaving berkeley without a college degree like chris street, got it?

tight end room:

jake muller: virtually no snaps during his first 3 seasons, muller has been passed up on the depth chart by walk on jack endries & the 3 player rotation of elijah mojarro, asher alberding & jt byrne...teammates have also noted his substandard work ethic, jake needs to finish off his berkeley degree & enter the real world (monster odds of departure: 95%)

andy alfieri: will be competing for 5th/6th string this spring, those development snaps will go away when high upside ben marshall shows up this summer...andy is a good student, he needs to graduate with a berkeley degree & then if he's still interested in playing ball becoming a grad transfer at somewhere like portland state with 2 years of remaining eligibility (monster odds of departure: 90%)

wide receivers room:

mason mangum: not gonna participate in spring ball as he focuses on track again...mason is a terrific student & a talented sprinter, magnum is likely to spend his final year in berkeley on a track scholly (monster odds of departure: 95%)

aiden lee: injured all last season, lee is too slow to create separation at the pac 12 level...aiden could either take a medical retirement or quickly graduate & become a grad transfer at somewhere like northern arizona getting snaps & catching balls from kai milner with 2 years of remaining eligibility (monster odds of departure: 90%)

justin richard baker: very popular player that has embraced the full berkeley experience, justin got speed (electrifying 55 yard td pass against oregon & the 26 yard punt return against colorado last season are evidence of those skills) so does he wanna be buried in coach toler's remarkably deep wide receivers room again or graduate quickly with a berkeley degree & spend his final 2 years in a full spread offense that will showcase his talents? (monster odds of departure: 50%)

tommy christakos: like justin a strong student with physical tools but buried in the bears wr room, lacking top end separation speed christakos got the bad habit of ending on the ground after diving after every passing play that targets him...got height & could get a free 2 year mba somewhere while catching balls if that's the direction he wants to go (monster odds of departure: 50%)
roster fact: coach wilcox announced yesterday that mason mangum & tommy christakos are not gonna participate in spring ball

fun fact: both mason & tommy are outstanding students & room together

sad fact: chris street is not enrolled in college anywhere after walking away from a berkeley degree
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:19a, 3/7/23
Nice analysis of potential roster construction. By the way, it's MANGum, not MAGnum.
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harebear
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In reply to Pittstop • 10:25a, 3/7/23
Pittstop said:
Nice analysis of potential roster construction. By the way, it's MANGum, not MAGnum.
Also Mangum not being in Spring ball might simply be a function of him still coming back to full strength after his injury last season.
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Shocky1
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1:48p, 3/7/23
https://instagr.am/p/CjD-8RmAVm3
pitts, made the spelling change as noted by u (the 9th grade all time spelling champion at lowell high school) but make no mistake about it that tom selluck is not my favorite actress on magnum pi, tristin is a mutt

hare, mangum (2 receptions in 3 years) & christakos (4 receptions in 3 years) are both absolutely buried on the wr depth chart...as roommates & honor roll students, it would make a lotta sense for them to finish up their berkeley degrees & then grad transfer to a program that will better showcase their talents

fun fact for super sleuths: during the february 1st signing day press conference coach wilcox listed the players that wuz gonna be out for spring ball, he did not mention tommy...now 30+ days later he mentions during yesterday's zoom call that tommy is out for spring ball...wut do u think this means???

nap time for the monster (shocky's rescue dogs/cats climbing up now for a conked out time out, turn the monkey voices off, au revoir)

berkeley is a sleeper skool for worser spellirs#
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Shocky1
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4:24p, 3/7/23

multiple pac 12 school offeree 6' 180 lbs lock down cornerback jordan james from warren high school in so cal wuz a big time visitor for cal's 2024 junior day

jordan is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.4 gpa

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for the takers that wanna combine an elite education with getting paid in the national ******* football league)
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rkt88edmo
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In reply to Shocky1 • 5:34p, 3/7/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CjD-8RmAVm3
pitts, made the spelling change as noted by u (the 9th grade all time spelling champion at lowell high school) but make no mistake about it that tom selluck is not my favorite actress on magnum pi, tristin is a mutt

hare, mangum (2 receptions in 3 years) & christakos (4 receptions in 3 years) are both absolutely buried on the wr depth chart...as roommates & honor roll students, it would make a lotta sense for them to finish up their berkeley degrees & then grad transfer to a program that will better showcase their talents

fun fact for super sleuths: during the february 1st signing day press conference coach wilcox listed the players that wuz gonna be out for spring ball, he did not mention tommy...now 30+ days later he mentions during yesterday's zoom call that tommy is out for spring ball...wut do u think this means???

nap time for the monster (shocky's rescue dogs/cats climbing up now for a conked out time out, turn the monkey voices off, au revoir)

berkeley is a sleeper skool for worser spellirs#
Glad they're doing it the right way, hopefully work hard, grad early, and preserve more of their playing years while leaving with that Cal degree and not having to deal with the portal.
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HoopDreams
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6:36p, 3/7/23
"surreal"
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HoopDreams
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6:40p, 3/7/23

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Big C
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In reply to HoopDreams • 8:56p, 3/7/23

Jaydn Ott is developing into one of my favorite all-time players! And if one of his mega-NIL responsibilities is to recite a list of carefully curated talking points, so what! (sign of the times)
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Shocky1
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:12p, 3/7/23
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/ClMAcA-JQ78
special teams update:

6956, coach barton & coach wilcox are gonna continue to award 3 special teams schollys, walk ons will continue to be a big part of this room moving forward

punter:


jamieson sheahan finished 15th in the nation in punting with a 45.27 average with accurate corner kick placements & got additional coveted intangibles such as the unreal ability to kick with both feet & also make physical australian football tackles in coverage...jamieson got a legit chance as an undrafted free agent to win a nfl roster spot & earn some serious kangaroo coin
https://www.ncaa.com/stats/football/fbs/current/individual/17


tulsa grad transfer with a management major lachlan wilson from eaglemont australia is gonna be the scholly punter for the 2023 season...lachlan redshirted in 2019 & with a 2020 covid year got 2 years of remaining eligibility...depending upon how the upcoming season plays out lachlan could either return for just the fall semester of 2024 or pursue an undrafted free agent nfl roster spot after the 2023 season

fellow australian from north of melbourne (the epicenter of australian golf is the ethereal sandbelt region with royal melbourne & kingston heath as world top 25 courses) ethan baxter (#34 in top foto) blueshirted as a true freshman preferred walk on this season, ethan has yet to play in an american football game


the #2 ranked punter in the 2024 class kanyon floyd from phoenix will be visiting for cal's 2024 junior day on saturday march 4th...with a 4.73 gpa & an academically focused family, stanford would be the competition (duke, vandy & washington are recruiting him too) but the cards got their punter/kicker of the future in 2023 aidan flintoft from oaks christian...possibilities with kanyon include a full scholly offer, a greyshirt scholly (kinda like offensive tackle nick morrow from flagstaff who enrolled in berkeley this january) or a pwo offer (which imo will not work)

kicker:


a factor in the losses in both boulder & south bend wuz the cal field goal unit getting out kicked by the competition...the monster feels very strongly that now asu kicker (reunited with charlie ragle) dario longhetto should've never been the bear's starting kicker last season, 4.37 gpa true freshman michael luckhurst (#38 in top foto) with his powerful leg & instant high trajectory (unlike longhetto's low rising line drives) is gonna be a nfl kicker someday like his dad mick

slightly built but big leg 2023 pwo mateen braghani from san diego will arrive in berkeley this summer

longsnapper:


2023 starter slater zellers is gonna be joining dario & charlie in tempe in order to make room for longtime silent commit 4.0 gpa david bird who is a generational talent that got the upside to be a 10+ year nfl pro bowl veteran


the bears are very deep at this position with rocket bottle cap launcher walk on jake arguello (#47 in above foto) & 3.7 gpa pwo wesley brown from the san mateo college fightin' benjis

special teams recruiting update:

high school all american & the nation's #2 ranked punter kanyon floyd from horizon school in phx got the vip recruiting treatment from coach barton during cal's 2024 junior day

after saturday in berkeley kanyon (4.73 gpa) & his moms flew to michigan as an invited guest of coach harbaugh for the wolverines junior day, this is an elite talent that needs to be offered a scholly for the fall of 2024 or as a greyshirt (kinda like flagstaff's nick morrow) if lachlan wilson returns for a 2nd season with the bears

the plan right now is for kanyon to showcase his cannon foot (he can also do field goals & kickoffs) during cal's specialist and 7 on 7 team camp on saturday june 4th...it should be noted that none of the visitors this last saturday did any football work on the field

an elite punter can change field position multiple times a game, kanyon floyd got the upside to be the next nfl punter like bryan anger
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Shocky1
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9:48p, 3/7/23


the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (and ground zero if u wanna get paid in the national football league)
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5:51a, 3/8/23

the joe pasternak era of relentless monster intensity surrounding the cal basketball program is in its final countdown stages

https://instagr.am/p/CpVTuvqvp-e
the ides of march (let's ******* go)#
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