cal's monster offensive line

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Shocky1
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In reply to Econ141 • 7:56a, 1/9/24
Econ141 said:
Shocky - looks like Georgetown athletics is listening to your advice. When will Cal's?


econ, knowlton & markeisha are in lock step agreement that until cal men's basketball average attendance dips under 1,200 per game (most games this season have been in the 2,500 range) they are not even gonna consider offering FREE tixs to ALL students for basketball & football games...their obstinate belief is that more students on gamedays might create at UNFAIR advantage for the bears at a much louder/energized haas pavilion & memorial stadium plus there's a good chance that building a pipeline to future season tix holders/donors would create more ******* work for them (and who needs that ****?)

the reality is that worthless bureaucrats know how to set really LOW attendance metrics & then brag in knowlton notes that the student section at memorial stadium is "sold out" which is kinda disingenuous when there are 25,000+ empty unsold seats

markeisha (handpicked by the con artist) is 100% not qualified for the role of marketing the cal revenue sports programs (the fun women's basketball team had a couple of hundred fans in attendance at a recent game), she recently took a weeklong continuing education class in tarp seating management...it will be a beautiful day when she's reassigned to 8 am to 5 pm 5 days a week parking enforcement duties on the berkeley campus

richard lyons for chancellor & andrew mcgraw for athletic director in 2024!!!#
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Shocky1
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8:12a, 1/9/24
^ my moms (a berkeley grad) wuz poor as **** from a 2nd generation immigrant family growing up in san francisco, she never went to any sporting events during college because they never had a single disposable dollar so she did fun FREE things like walking on ocean beach with the family doggy

fast forward to now, berkeley got a record number of 1st generation college students from socioeconomicly disadvantaged backgrounds (which shocky 100% supports, the redistribution of wealth in the united states thru elite educational opportunities to build generational wealth vs governmental handouts) that CANNOT afford the current $150 annual student pass (that's a middle class+ luxury)

yeah stupid people make stupid decisions



love you, moms (heavy is the head that wears the crown)#
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rush the field
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In reply to Shocky1 • 12:21p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:


fun fact: the california golden bears will score more than 10 points against auburn in the deep south on september 7, 2024

cap



Apparently Keionte entered the portal and then withdrew within 48 hours. Nice challenge for our revamped receiving corps.
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Bearly Clad
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12:36p, 1/9/24
Edit note: Rivals tweet deleted. It's been clear for years that Cal 247 and Cal Rivals tweets, stories and posts cannot be linked here. Only national or other sources can be linked. Also, the player himself was the first one to post his commitment. When in doubt go straight to the source.
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Shocky1
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In reply to rush the field • 4:02p, 1/9/24
rush the field said:
Shocky1 said:


fun fact: the california golden bears will score more than 10 points against auburn in the deep south on september 7, 2024

cap



Apparently Keionte entered the portal and then withdrew within 48 hours. Nice challenge for our revamped receiving corps.
rush the yoga room, keionte wuz realistically just doing a money shake down in auburn...the tigers are losing multiple starters in the defensive backfield room so he knew how to leverage his deal
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:09p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:
Johnfox said:



utah portal transfer quick strike wide receiver 5'8" 180 lbs mikey matthews with elite SPEED will be taking an official visit to cal on january 5th/6th after tripping to baylor (spav) on january 3rd/4th & arizona in mid december...these remarkably different options (2 of these schools are academically mediocre) are the 3 finalists

mikey is not a dumb azz, he got 3.8 gpa at mission viejo high school which got recruiting attention from harvard & other ivy league schools...has anybody ever in the history of planet earth turned down actionable offers from both cal & harvard to attend either arizona (ranked #114 academically by forbes) or baylor (ranked #257 by forbes) or other big 12 truck stop town skools?...with an interest in studying business, the world class haas biz school will likely be a key factor in this berkeley recruitment as will returning home to cali

anyways matthews caught 29 passes for 261 yards & also returned both punts & kickoffs for the utes as a true freshman, he got 3 years of remaining eligibility & is a legit difference maker both as a slot receiver & also special teams return artist

mikey is also a lifelong rugby standout, his older bro aaron plays for nola gold

yeah mikey matthews is really smart, really fast & most importantly he got good hair

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna build GENERATIONAL WEALTH thru nfl development against acc competition & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM VAROOM KABOOM KABOOM
SHAZOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM VAROOM KABOOM
KABOOM RABOOM BABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM
BEARLY CLAD BABOOMIES KABOOM KABOOM SHAZOOM

welcome 3.8 gpa elite slot wideout & potential special teams superstar mikey matthews to the #1 ranked public university in the world

point of clarification: ^ the monster is NOT talking about boise state or oregon state

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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:21p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:
spencer lovell: asu to cal to kansas to transfer portal


spencer don't got no good hair#
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In reply to Shocky1 • 4:46p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:


cal's monster modern yoga update:


master teacher anton's 4:15 pm class:

shocky's conversation with a hug re: a married teacher's pregnancy announcement

shocky: so do you know whose ur baby daddy?

princess courtney: i do!

https://instagr.am/p/CZUlDjQrySJ
https://instagr.am/p/Cv6FSTDA1e9
cal's monster modern yoga nooner after class update:

shocky: is leo a baby friendly doggy dog?

princess courtney: i think so, he's really cuddly but he's probably going to be jealous, he sleeps in my bed

shocky: ruh roh
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Econ141
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6:34p, 1/9/24


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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:30p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:
Shocky1 said:
Johnfox said:



utah portal transfer quick strike wide receiver 5'8" 180 lbs mikey matthews with elite SPEED will be taking an official visit to cal on january 5th/6th after tripping to baylor (spav) on january 3rd/4th & arizona in mid december...these remarkably different options (2 of these schools are academically mediocre) are the 3 finalists

mikey is not a dumb azz, he got 3.8 gpa at mission viejo high school which got recruiting attention from harvard & other ivy league schools...has anybody ever in the history of planet earth turned down actionable offers from both cal & harvard to attend either arizona (ranked #114 academically by forbes) or baylor (ranked #257 by forbes) or other big 12 truck stop town skools?...with an interest in studying business, the world class haas biz school will likely be a key factor in this berkeley recruitment as will returning home to cali

anyways matthews caught 29 passes for 261 yards & also returned both punts & kickoffs for the utes as a true freshman, he got 3 years of remaining eligibility & is a legit difference maker both as a slot receiver & also special teams return artist

mikey is also a lifelong rugby standout, his older bro aaron plays for nola gold

yeah mikey matthews is really smart, really fast & most importantly he got good hair

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna build GENERATIONAL WEALTH thru nfl development against acc competition & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)
https://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/

KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM VAROOM KABOOM KABOOM
SHAZOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM VAROOM KABOOM
KABOOM RABOOM BABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM
BEARLY CLAD BABOOMIES KABOOM KABOOM SHAZOOM

welcome 3.8 gpa elite slot wideout & potential special teams superstar mikey matthews to the #1 ranked public university in the world

point of clarification: ^ the monster is NOT talking about boise state or oregon state


So you're saying he declined the offer from LLU (LOT Lizard University)?
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7:32p, 1/9/24
^^ academics wuz never part of the hastings decision, wish him luck in life
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 7:36p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:
^ academics wuz never part of this decision, wish him luck in life


I was referring to Mikey choosing Cal over his other finalists.
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7:48p, 1/9/24
look pitts, cal's monster class is a judgement free zone, got it?..this is a safe zone for everyone on planet earth particularly rescue doggys & curvy brunette yoga females

but yeah mikey passed on the coos bay fast mart supervisor training program for future oregon & oregon state grads with convenience store/truck stop hospitality degrees which usually results in marrying a lot lizard with highly contagious stds & cfm pumps

sai is gonna build minimum wage plus wealth which will allow him to buy multiple boxes of voo doo donuts with fuschia sprinkles & jelly belly insides in portland at 2:16 am on his days off...but unfortunately jeremiah's future with his harvard of idaho degree isn't even that bright

and there's NOTHING wrong with that, berkeley is not for everyone


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In reply to Pittstop • 7:59p, 1/9/24
Pittstop said:
Shocky1 said:
^ academics wuz never part of this decision, wish him luck in life
I was referring to Mikey choosing Cal over his other finalists.
i wuz referring to them curvy brunette yoga females choosing cal, stanford & ivy league grads when they enter the real world over guys with degrees from truck stop skools

3.8 gpa mikey may not be tall but he got elite FOOTSPEED & is smart as ****



let's ******* go! (purple is the new black)#
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HoopDreams
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In reply to Shocky1 • 8:00p, 1/9/24
Shocky1 said:
cal's monster modern yoga nooner after class update:

shocky: is leo a baby friendly doggy dog?

princess courtney: i think so, he's really cuddly but he's probably going to be jealous, he sleeps in my bed

shocky: ruh roh
I was in Berkeley for the basketball (we won in double-OT on clutch performances by Michelle and Mia) and saw the perfect place for the Shockter to drop by after a game ...




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8:08p, 1/9/24
^ hoops, luv that foto & seeing my favorite cal basketball player michelle celebrating at haas with her teammates in triumph
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8:12p, 1/9/24
^^^^^ serious question: why does the sign say "fas mart" at the convenience store in coos bay?

do they really not know how to spell fast or did someone steal the "t" or is there some other incomprehensible explanation?

not gonna lie, this is really bothering me...
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8:52p, 1/9/24


2024 scholly roster departures: right now there are 26 PUBLIC departing bears

matthew cindric, center...out of eligibility...berkeley degrees w/haas biz school & masters education
barrett miller, tackle...out of eligibility...stanford engineering degree & berkeley cert program
isaiah ifanse, running back...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
monroe young, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
brian hightower, wide receiver...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
darius long jr, defensive tackle...out of eligibility...berkeley degree
jackson sirmon, inside linebacker...out of eligibility...berkeley haas global access program
patrick mcmorris, safety...out of eligibility...berkeley cert program
raymond woodie, safety, grad transfer portal to bethune-cookman...berkeley degree
ben finley, quarterback...grad transfer portal to akron...berkeley cert program
tyson mcwilliams, cornerback...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree
brayden rohme, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to massachusetts...berkeley degree
kaleb elarms-orr, inside linebacker...transfer portal to tcu...no berkeley degree
everett johnson, offensive tackle...grad transfer portal to montana...berkeley degree
blake antzoulatos, inside linebacker...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree
king doerue, running back...football retirement...purdue degree
jeremiah earby, cornerback...transfer portal to boise state...no berkeley degree
sam jackson v, quarterback...transfer portal to auburn...no berkeley degree
taj davis, wide receiver...no longer with program...washington degree
michael luckhurst, kicker...will not be on scholly in 2024...pursuing berkeley degree
muelu iosefa, inside linebacker...no longer with program
moso'oipala "nunie" tuitele, te/olb...transfer portal...no berkeley degree
jeremiah hunter, wide receiver...grad transfer portal to washington...berkeley degree
asher alberding, tight end...football retirement...berkeley haas global access program
dejuan butler, defensive back...grad transfer portal...berkeley degree
sailasa "sai" vadrawale, defensive back...transfer portal to oregon state...no berkeley degree

2024 new schollys: right now there are 29 NEW scholly additions

mikey miller, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
victor stoffel, offensive line (motivated student in sweden)
kadarius calloway, running back (3.2 gpa)
ryan coe, kicker (3.5 gpa)
tobias merriweather, wide receiver (3.6 gpa)
ja'ir smith, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
syris corley, offensive line (3.0 gpa)
rush reimer, offensive line (3.3 gpa)
marcus harris, defensive back (3.2 gpa)
aidan keanaaina, defensive tackle (4.0 gpa)
aiden newbill, offensive line (3.72 gpa)
isaiah crosby, safety (3.0+ gpa)
luke ferrelli, inside linebacker (4.0 gpa)
chandler rogers, quarterback (3.3 gpa)
teddye buchanan, inside linebacker (3.5 gpa)
josiah martin, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
jack endries, tight end (3.83 gpa)
trond grizzell, wide receiver (3.8 gpa)
bj canady, defensive tackle (3.91 gpa)
legend journey, apex predator edge defender (3.3 gpa)
ej caminong, quarterback (3.5 gpa)
dayton "dayday" aupiu (3.51 gpa)
jamaal wiley, running back (3.0+ gpa)
trevor rogers, wide receiver (3.5 gpa)
michael-anthony okwura, defensive lineman (3.4 gpa)
eze osondu, inside linebacker (3.0+ gpa)
brookyln cheek, defensive back (3.0+ gpa)
camden jones, tight end (3.0+ gpa)
tyler knape, offensive line (3.8 gpa)
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9:14p, 1/9/24
jc linebacker aiden sullivan commits to oregon state
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9:17p, 1/9/24
utep transfer wide receiver tyrin smith commits to cincinnati
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oskiswifeshusband
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9:20p, 1/9/24
DrShockyLikesYogaMoms, what you think is the position of need now after these transfers?
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9:48p, 1/9/24
oskisgirlfriendgottatightazz, right now we got the deepest bears team since the nationally ranked coach tedford teams with legit 2 deep talent at every position, congrats to the coaching & recruiting staffs...and the risk of academic casualties is the lowest it's been during the coach wilcox era which is kinda important in berkeley

the depth at safety is my biggest concern but let's see who emerges during 2024 spring ball before the transfer portal reopens april 1st the the 15th...the lack of speed at this position wuz glaring during 2023, expecting significant improvement this fall

as for cal's monster offensive line there's gonna be epic competitions under the watchful eye of coach bloesch for the 2 open starting positions with the departure of barrett miller & assuming brian driscoll scores well on his lsat prep tests & decides to truly walk away from his brothers of a lifetime teammates in the exciting 2024 inaugural season of the atlantic athletic conference with multiple fun east coast roadtrips

the magic of cal football (cannot be found in law books)#

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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:37a, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:
wut fun 3 things did shocky learn about life/himself during 2023?

1) my favorite golf hole in the world is the timelessly fabulous par 4 16th hole at the national golf links of america in southhampton, new york...the drive is uphill to a fairway with naturally wild non symmetrical undulations that kick tee balls in kinda random directions...the 2nd shot is my favorite shot in golf, a kinda blind mid iron aimed at the giant flag blowing in the seaside breezes on top of the hill well behind the green to the punchbowl green which funnels well struck shots towards the hole with the iconic windmill standing sentinel by the green site...it's literally the perfect golf hole on a summer day



2) look shocky got zero interest in professional sports including the national football league but after watching the 2023 cal football season in person i finally understand the importance of electronically timed 40's as a key nfl player evaluation metric in deciding who gets paid & who goes home...SPEED kills in the game of football, safeties along with corners & nickels that lack the footspeed to close on the ball get torched while wide receiver/tight ends that don't got elite speed can't create separation from defenders...the cal 2024 season is gonna be all about ******* SPEED whether it be heisman candidate jaydn ott getting outside in space for a 76 yard touchdown run at auburn, craig woodson hearing his name called at the 2025 nfl draft or the bears wideouts not getting blanketed in the downfield vertical passing game

3) shocky is sexually triggered by curvy brunette yoga females retying their pony tails...it don't matter if it's at modern yoga, the driving range, the village swimming pool, the green juices section at sprouts, doggy rescue facilities or the check out line at buc-ee's pony tails getting readjusted with nimble fingers is sexy as ****

https://instagr.am/p/CiaoGbFpqaG
Dear Shocky,

How are you?

I am fine.

Look, I know you think I'm not that much FUN and kinda emotionally unavailable so what do you think of my idea to surprise everybody by stopping the team bus at Buc-ee's for 20 minutes on the way to the Dallas airport after we kick azz at SMU next fall?

And as for what sexually triggers me, don't tell nobody but this video gets me every time, so BEAUTIFUL!!!


Best regards,

Coach Wilcox

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8:34a, 1/10/24

cal's monster offensive line (wants 3.8 gpa trench warriors from texas)#
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juarezbear
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In reply to Shocky1 • 9:57a, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:
oskisgirlfriendgottatightazz, right now we got the deepest bears team since the nationally ranked coach tedford teams with legit 2 deep talent at every position, congrats to the coaching & recruiting staffs...and the risk of academic casualties is the lowest it's been during the coach wilcox era which is kinda important in berkeley

the depth at safety is my biggest concern but let's see who emerges during 2024 spring ball before the transfer portal reopens april 1st the the 15th...the lack of speed at this position wuz glaring during 2023, expecting significant improvement this fall

as for cal's monster offensive line there's gonna be epic competitions under the watchful eye of coach bloesch for the 2 open starting positions with the departure of barrett miller & assuming brian driscoll scores well on his lsat prep tests & decides to truly walk away from his brothers of a lifetime teammates in the exciting 2024 inaugural season of the atlantic athletic conference with multiple fun east coast roadtrips

the magic of cal football (cannot be found in law books)#

I'm super pumped for 2024. Def going to the FSU game and maybe some other away games.
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Pittstop
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:00a, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:

cal's monster offensive line (wants 3.8 gpa trench warriors from texas)#


I could be mistaken, Shock, but wasn't Bo Jackson credited with a 4.19 40 time, or something ridiculous like that? Prime also had a ridiculous combine time to iirc.
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SBGold
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In reply to Shocky1 • 10:17a, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:
rush the field said:
Shocky1 said:


fun fact: the california golden bears will score more than 10 points against auburn in the deep south on september 7, 2024

cap



Apparently Keionte entered the portal and then withdrew within 48 hours. Nice challenge for our revamped receiving corps.
rush the yoga room, keionte wuz realistically just doing a money shake down in auburn...the tigers are losing multiple starters in the defensive backfield room so he knew how to leverage his deal
smart kid
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10:47a, 1/10/24
2026 road trip to NC State and 2029 road trip to North Carolina just got sweeter ...


https://www.khou.com/article/news/nation-world/north-carolina-bucees/285-cfe6358d-2328-426a-8aa6-49a2eb01b280
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:47p, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:
https://instagr.am/p/CMpoNB9Jjt5
note to self: next time u try to host a FREE gameday buffet at buc-ee's it might be a good idea to indicate wut time the event will start & also specify the location (the one in terrell, texas), who knew?...look shocky is no wedding planner or something

anyways the chicken fajita burrito wuz only all right not great but the chocolate fudge slab wuz ghirardelli good...it should also be pointed that gasoline in the great state of texas is only $2.39 per galloon

fun fact: buc-ee's don't got no internet service, in asking the friendly sales associate at the counter she tole me it's cuz management don't want the employees on their phones...asked how this works for employees that got children in emergency situations & apparently there's a super secret number that schools can call that will then communicate to the parent's store that little jimmy just shot up a 7/11 & is now wanted in 2 states & can't move wrong

highlight of the drive so far (other than mooing at all the cows on the farms) between dallas & shreveport is seeing the signs at exit 503 for trinity valley community college...made a quick right turn off i-20 & asked where's isaiah crosby?...everyone tole me he's downtown driving all the cowgirls crazy, man i just fell about the place

the monster's excellent (solo) adventure#
rush top dog, that's awesome news re: north carolina!

plz accept my 1st invitation to attend the 2024 shocky hosted FREE bucc-ee's gameday tailgate party during our 2024 roadtrip to wake forest in winston-salem

burp#
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In reply to Shocky1 • 6:57p, 1/10/24
Shocky1 said:

a couple of years ago the head golf professional at my favorite public golf courses in scottsdale talking stick (coore & crenshaw designed 36 holes, a 10 minute drive from modern yoga) calls me up & tells me that he would appreciate me doing him a solid & come out that friday to play a game with a sports guy guest...scott tells me that we will play as a twosome & that he will block out the tee times before & after our tee time to ensure nobody bothers us & that since shocky is a walker the guest will have his privacy riding solo in a golf cart (the guest apparently can't walk 18 holes)

tell scott sure no big deal

introductions are made on the putting green, it's bo jackson

so we play the back tees that day (which are 6800+ yards with firm/fast fairways), jackson can pound his drives but hits a couple drives 50 yards off line into the caca...bo tells me that since he got hip replacement surgery that a couple of times a round he can't clear his left side which results in blocked lost ball drives to the right which kinda drives him crazy...shocky shoots a 79 & beats bo by 5 strokes, jackson loses our 5 bucks bet but its never paid up after the round when we do our bro hug on the 18th green

we never talk about sports (which is a relief to bo but honestly its because i got zero interest in pro sports teams/athletes outside of our golden bear pga golfers)

interestingly when i tell him that i wuz raised by a tiger mom who tole me i could do anything in life, he shares with me that he wuz primarily raised by his grandmother who beat the **** out of him & that's the origin of his mental toughness/competitiveness

bo tells me the following story about his daughter morgan, this is a loose recollection of his words:

so his only daughter morgan is in high school & she's already one of the fastest girls in illinois (his primary home is in lemont a suburb of chicago which is home to the cog hill golf complex, jackson mostly plays public courses) & she already got a scholly offer to auburn which he's very proud of

anyways bo is not a dumb azz & he's heard thru the local chatter (his sons) that there are high school boys who wanna devirginize his pretty daughter so when morgan tells him that she's gonna go on her 1st date both morgan & his longtime wife linda are very anxious about how dad is gonna treat the young man when he shows up at the house

"daddy, please be nice to marcus"-morgan

"bo, do not ruin our daughter's 1st date, ok?"-linda

so marcus rings the doorbell & is welcomed into the house

bo says excuse me but can i have a moment alone with marcus in my study/hunting trophy room

morgan & linda share a nervous eye exchange & marcus follows a quiet bo thru the house to his man cave

they eventually arrive to the room & still without a word bo turns his back on marcus & walks over to his work table & pulls out a ginormous silver bullet & asks marcus how his name is spelled

a sweating marcus spells out his first & last name while bo writes something on the bullet with a special sharpie

jackson finally walks over to marcus (who is a star running back at the local high school) & tells him to open his hand

marcus complies with this request & bo puts the silver bullet which has the young man's full name inscribed on it into his palm & tells him:

"marcus, if you disrespect my daughter in any way i will hunt you down to the end of earth & put this bullet in your head, do you fully understand me?"

"yes sir, mr jackson!"

marcus brings his daughter morgan home on her 1st date at 9:45 pm

bo knows (dad of the year)#
pitts, u might be right but the combine video wuz produced by the nfl so the 40 time records are probably accurate

shocky can confirm that bo NOT gonna run a 40 under 30 seconds these days
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