cal's monster offensive line

1,994,381 Views | 11814 Replies | Last: 5 hrs ago by Shocky1
Shocky1
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sycasey, aunbear is rite, the bear's record is 100% the final word on whose better & ****

our opinions on whose better really don't mean **** at the end of the day, shocky's perspective (having watched every second of the 2024 season in person that cal should be 9-0 instead of the actual 5-4 is ******* irrelevant)

longwell running off mateen & sirmon gassing his inside backers to the point where they couldn't chase down the miami qb1 in the 4th quarter cost the bears 4 losses against teams that the currently constructed roster (thx to kevin kennedy/lance cooper) that are worser



but shocky also thinks ryan along with vic have turned around the special teams units dramatically & that peter is one of the top defensive coordinators in the nation...unfortunately bloesch/thompson are still costing jaydn millions of dollars in the 2025 nfl draft with their continued failure to dial up PITCHOUTS with not arguably the worst/ineffectual run game schemes in collegiate football

people need to let go of angry feelings, it's just not healthy, maybe get a yoga/meditation practice or something like shocky



some guys like doubtful bear & golden one will complain about EVERYTHING!!

Shocky1
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6956, it's possible that the 3.5 gpa tyeland don't wanna be clocking shifts/moving boxes at the tallahassee buc-ee's when it's 114% suffocating humid azz degrees outside & he's 30 years old living in mom's basement or something with no future because he don't got a respected education??

**** fsu (and it's worthless talladega nites diploma)#

sycasey
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AunBear89 said:

sycasey said:

calumnus said:

sycasey said:

Pitt was living with a four-leaf clover stuck up their a** all year. Finally their luck has run out.


We are better than Pitt, they just have better coaching.
Yeah, we have lost to three teams that we were better than.


I hate to be "that guy", but, by definition, we weren't better on the days in question.

I think you know what I mean.
AunBear89
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I knew exactly what you meant. Just beating the less thoughtful concern trolls to the punch. What's a sports board without sports cliches?
Shocky1
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what's a wilcox press conference without blah blah blah football is a violent game, next man up blah blah blah...we need to execute better...blah blah blah coachspeak cliches with zero insights??
82gradDLSdad
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Shocky1 said:

what's a wilcox press conference without blah blah blah football is a violent game, next man up blah blah blah...we need to execute better...blah blah blah coachspeak cliches with zero insights??
Shocky, I have some meds if you need them.
Shocky1
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https://instagr.am/p/Ct23wEUO_Ib
reason #476 why going to cal football games is way more FUN than posting like a sofa king on gameday threads:

so one of the highlights of the roadie to wake forest wuz seeing up close in person the demon deacons cheer/dance coach christy on her squad's platform overlooking the cal sidelines...while demonstrating the wicked demon deacs moves to her squad, shocky mimicked all her spirit moves with world class energy which got the monster a huge smile from christy (and maybe some *** looks from the wake fanbase)!!

fyi, if shocky evah decides to get a transgender operation (rite now the monster is a he/him/doggy dog), he will probably be a wake forest dancer & get epic hugs before/after every practice from coach christy!!...she will probably just think that poor ol' shockalina is just emotionally needy or something...haha, fooled her, it started with a kiss (how did it end up like this?)...

https://instagr.am/p/C_L7ojKv51Q
to be honest with you this fall's road schedule of auburn with slim wadie (peachtree, shoal creek & wicker point), tallahassee (seminole), pittsburgh (merion & oakmont), winston-salem (old town), berkeley (sf golf, olympic lake & brambles) with dallas (highland park, trinity forest & buc-ee's) later this month has been the most FUN (and yeah frustrating too at time) schedule in the history of my california golden bears football fandom!!

yeah the pac 12 is clearly in the rearview mirrah (**** boring azz lily white eugene & salt lake city), shocky 100% loves the new infusion of energy/experiences with the acc, thx christy!!

don't be a ******* soft king, r u gonna be part of the hostile home field crowd energy at memorial stadium this saturday at noon vs syracuse and/or the BIG GAME (shocky's b-day postgame storming the field celebration) the following saturday??...r u gonna experience in person THE MAGIC OF CAL FOOTBALL??



^ fun fact: substitute "bloody gorgeous" with "so ******* gorgeous"!!



heavy is the head that wears the crown (on doggy dog hikes up the mountain with shocky)#
Shocky1
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dls, thx for the kind offer of meds but shocky just got his daily 32 oz green juice at chop shop instead!!

fun fact: shocky poops like a race horse & got excellent gut health (and a 31/32' waistline)

https://instagr.am/p/C8kCr7CtxKr
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/Cva8y5gvY-Z
2024 collegiate tournament at the st lucia preserve: 3rd round update

the good: ZERO california golden bears wuz injured today in evil golf cart pileups!!

the bad: the bears finished 10th (only ahead of cal poly & the cal poly b team) in a candy azz soft field & the 6 bears played the longer back nine in the final round 23 over par


the ugly: shocky still got 4 years of eligibility preserved from his haas biz ad days & coach wilson is gonna roll him out as the #1 player when the team returns to tournament action in late january




cal's monster class life lessons: #792 in the ongoing series of PRICELESS information

check out coach wilson's TRANSPARENT email to the cal golf fanbase:

What Happened?

I've been asked by many, "What happened?" Here are a few possible reasons why we struggled:

-Golf is golf. No matter how good you are and how well you prepare you still have to go play. As we all know, anything can happen in golf and you have to execute.
-Overexcitement. We might have been over-excited to play, defend our title as past champions from a year ago and win our last tournament of the fall. Sometimes when you get focused on a destination you lose focus to the process that will get you there. We may have been so eager to get down to the Peninsula that we didn't prepare ourselves well enough physically and mentally.
-External Disruptions. Players transferring this summer, a largely unproven team, sickness, midterms, etc. All of these things probably don't help us.

I don't believe any of those reasons. They seem like excuses to me. We finished where we finished because we competed like the 62nd ranked team in the country. We missed too many fairways and greens, didn't convert inside of 150 yards, putted poorly, made poor choices and didn't manage our games very well, period.

This finish hurt. That said, we have a tremendous opportunity now. We have a little over two months to regroup, come together, make adjustments and improve. It's not how you start, but how you finish. In the past week we have been working through meetings with everyone on the team, James Hahn came on a zoom call to fire everyone up, we started a 10 day short game boot camp and are working with each guy to create a practice and tournament plan this winter to return this Spring ready to go.

We have a good group of guys and a team capable of being very competitive each time we tee it up. We've had some fabulous individual performances at home in qualifying and on the road and those are what we will need more of for a team victory. In looking at our scoring averages for everyone, we have a lot of players on paper that are very similar that have all shown great potential. We will need a few guys this Spring to really step up and differentiate themselves from the rest of the team. I know someone is going to do something special but I just can't tell you who quite yet.

There is tremendous focus on our team right now. We are proud to carry on a tradition established by many before us. We are proud to have an opportunity to bring home future championships to our community and school. We look forward to getting after it this winter and coming back to have a great Spring.

this is how the winners of the world (berkeley grads like michael wilson) communicate with transparent accountability unlike worthless ineffectual lazy azz bureaucrats like general knowlton (where's the long promised basketball facility, jimbo, why did you extend mark fox's contract another season when everybody on planet earth knew he wuz the worst collegiate basketball coach on planet earth??) & markeisha everett (why did you tell kevin kennedy to **** off re: the now wildly successful national billboards branding campaign & why are you refusing to offer FREE tixs to all students when there are 30,000+ empty seats on gamedays at memorial stadium & haas pavillion attendance for both the men's & women's games is abysmal??)

let's ******* go!!#
Shocky1
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this is one of the greatest lockeroom traditions in college football: the bear territory chant after victories!!

the players invited up to lead the team chant after friday nite's exciting road win wuz ryan coe, hunter barth, liam johnson & fernando mendoza

this **** is getting live (and gives shocky chills every single time)!!#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

the following is a reprint from cal's monster class back in the day:

flew into cabo san lucas sat nite, met my buddy tommy at the airport & we took a taxi downtown for a late nite dinner at gordos...gordos is a one room restaurant with maybe 12 plastic chairs that serves the best shrimp & steak tacos on planet earth (and its inexpensive too)...the owner (gordo, yeah he's not skinny) takes your order, cooks the food, delivers the meal to your table & then sings too...gotta love gordos




so we hit some range balls to loosen up this morning & hustle over to the 1st tee at the break of dawn with our caddies at diamante's el cardonal, tiger woods' 1st golf course design which recently opened

but there are already two groups of pompous looking guys (throwing grifters joe passov & steve lapper vibes) standing by their golf carts (some of them smoking cigars) near the 1st tee, they are all wearing stanford gear, red shirts & hats...clearly they are a stanford group of some type

so the director of golf assesses the situation & walks over and tells the leader of the group, "my apologies mr winchester but we have 2 golf magazine raters who have both played the world's top 100 courses that are invited guests of mr jowdy (the developer of diamante) and it's very important that they both tee of first this morning in order to walk 36 holes today on both courses, please stand aside"

mr winchester is ******* pissed and barely nods his head ok...the other guys are grumbling & shuffle off the tee box

so tommy & i step onto the 1st tee as does mr winchester whose got his arms crossed, he's gonna see how good we are, there's gonna be wwiii if we slow down his two groups

we both blast tight draws down the middle of the fairway & hand our drivers to our caddies jesus & javier who are ready to roll

mr winchester is puffing on a thick cigar & got smoke coming out of his ears & is looking at me & tommy with stink eyes

so i smile at mr stanford showing lots of crocodile teeth, lock eyes on him & tell him "go bears" with a wink as we briskly walk down the par 5 1st fairway never looking back in a 3 hour round

shocky got un boca grande#

https://instagr.am/p/CPKDccctn5i

2024 cabo san lucas pga tournament at diamante (el cardonel): 4th round update

battling to retain his pga tour card (worth around $1,000,000+ a year in earnings), michael kim shot a 67 to finish the week at 12 under par & tied for 30th

how do you shoot a bogey free 67 with a demanding pga tour course setup?

kim drove it in the fairway on 13 of 14 holes with an average drive of 299.5 yards, hit 15 of 18 greens in regulation & got it up and down 3 times for scrambling pars while exploiting the par 5s (3 under par today)

michael is now #115 in the year long pga tour standings (the top 125 will retain their cards for 2025) with only tournaments in bermuda & sea island georgia left on the schedule

would be awesome to see michael kim once again join fellow bears collin morikawa, max homa & byeong "ben" hun an on the pga tour in 2025

cal is a golf school#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/DBExTNpzl7i
cal's monster class EXCLUSIVE recruiting/official visitor update:

2025 active 6'4" 285 lbs defensive tackle tyeland coleman from northwest mississippi community college is gonna take an official visit to berkeley next weekend november 16th for the syracuse acc battle at memorial stadium

coleman is also gonna visit academically mediocre florida state on november 23rd & is a december grad that will be enrolling at his new school in january...he's already visited both utah state & boise state

tyeland is not a dumb azz, he got a 3.5 gpa & loves his MOMS!!

https://instagr.am/p/DAikMw6tB1_
the university of california, berkeley=the #1 ranked public university in the world (for those that wanna pursue generational wealth in order to take care of MOMS someday via nfl development on the beautifully diverse west coast & hard work in the classrooms of berkeley)


tyeland, head coach mike novell of 1-9 florida state started the inevitable process of replacing the entire staff with today's announcement of the firing of 3 assistant coaches including defensive coordinator adam fuller...defensive tackle coach odell haggins future is 100% uncertain in tallahassee

the cal defensive staff is 100% stable other than coach sirmon's wacky/funny azz family fotos
Shocky1
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unbreakable/unguardable (tobias is a spooky azz nightmare match up for dbs)#
Shocky1
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the magic of cal football (do u got ur tix for syracuse??)#
Shocky1
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winning out (8-4)??#
Shocky1
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2024 veterans' day: with gratitude/appreciation for those who risk their lives daily in the protection of our great country from those who wish us harm





thank you#
Shocky1
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south beach cheaters#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/CVbdU72MAgO
tcu linebacker snap counts & pff grades for last saturday:

devean deal 87 snaps (77.8 pff grade)
namdi obiazor 85 (65.1)
johnny hodges 75 (72.5)
kaleb elarms-orr 13 (59.5, a liability in pass coverage, lacks SPEED)
marcel brooks 11 (53.8)
terrence cooks jr 3 (60.5)
hudson hooper 1 (60.9)

no berkeley degree, future restoration hardware loading dock worker (when shocky orders another cloud)#
keo aka the tackling machine update:

kaleb got 1 tackle in saturday's game, his season totals are now as follows:

2023 at cal: 87 tackles
2024 at tcu: 37 tackles

fun fact: the hayward native's moms kameelah earned a masters degree from berkeley & would take her infant son to class

fun fact deux: it's always sonny in texas illegally tampered with keo which resulted in him entering the portal & transferring to tcu
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

Shocky1 said:


2025 class recruiting update:

right now the bears got 14 high school commitments, the #1 junior college target on the staff's 2025 board is jc all american 6'4" 240 lbs apex predator edge defender odera okaka from national powerhouse san matero college (developing under coach ben hawk schrider's tutelage) & previously pittsburg high school


with both current starting outside backers david reese & the x man outta eligiblity & pursuing nfl careers after this season, there is a legit opportunity for odera to come in & be an impact starter from day 1 in berkeley...odera is a high motor violent defender that got offers from both sec & big 10 schools

odera is not a dumb azz, check out this dean's list letter

yeah odera okaka is gonna be an unofficial visitor this saturday nite in an electric memorial stadium for the bears epic battle against them high voltage weather channel hurricanes

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including nigeria and a short drive for the fam to memorial stadium on gamedays)

https://instagr.am/p/C9-HpkkI7f8

multiple time berkeley gameday unofficial visitor odera okaka is gonna be a memorial stadium again this saturday for the bears vs wolfpack acc battle

KEY 2025 recruit#

the hawk must fly (future cal football program coach)!!#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/B_Vjlg0Ap85
j michael sturdivant career receiving statistics:

2022 at cal: 65 receptions for 755 yards & 7 touchdowns
2023 at ucla: 36 receptions for 597 yards & 4 touchdowns
2024 at ucla: 12 receptions for 169 yards & 1 touchdown (can't create separation, lacks SPEED)

https://instagr.am/p/C7uBpbISLyb


no berkeley degree, future valet at chateau marmont (when shocky rolls up with benji)#
j-mike record setting season in westwood update:

no catches last saturday

2024 at ucla: 14 receptions for 188 yards & 1 touchdown
Shocky1
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cal's monster class OFFICIAL invitation:

ur invited (and that includes 49, philly, golden & doubtful) to shocky's EPIC b-day celebration STORMIN' THE FIELD at midfield if the bears defeat the cards in the 127th BIG GAME under scorpio skies!!



yes confirmations already received from his daughter taylor & her girlfriend elle...shocky is anti hoarding/materialistic with major ocd issues, the only present he requests is a ******* bears victory!!

plz note that this invitation is inclusively FREE (if u got a tix to memorial stadium)

https://instagr.am/p/DBJDdSrTGe1
the MAGIC of cal football (cannot be experienced sitting on ur sofa typing on a gameday thread, r u up for an adventure??)#
Shocky1
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ursa carolina said:

Since this is really a golf thread, our group into a member of the Wake Forest golf team in the 70's that won multiple national championships. The 75 team is referred as the best team ever, with Jay Haas and Curtis Strange leading the Deacs to a 33 stroke victory. Haas won the individual and Strange finished 3rd after Jerry Pate at Bama. Really incredible.

They will be honored on the field tonight.
ursa, curtis strange rode out on the field during the crazy azz demon deacons stormin the field pregame festivities on the back of a motorcycle driven by the creepy as **** wake cigarette mascot!!


good times in winston-salem (thx coach christy!!)#
Shocky1
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2025 3.9 gpa cal commit with vision & SPEED#

the university of california, berkeley=#1 ranked public university in the world (including so cal)
Shocky1
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real talk: berkeley is very challenging academically, the odds of a 2 sport athlete flourishing in both sports is a very low probability recruitment...and the odds of a player committing whose never taken an official visit is also close to zero

a big 12 truck stop like kansas skool with low academics however might be a mutual best fit for both parties
Shocky1
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the TAKERS get PAID in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!

https://instagr.am/p/DCNDmDLuUaQ
dumb azzs need NOT apply (wut's ur gpa??)#

rkt88edmo
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Can't overlook any teams...start with this Saturday, one game at a time.
the SO probably won't want me leaving her side to storm any fields if she attends, I remember when they first started bringing more uniformed badges on the field and ringed it with cyclone fence to stop the storming in the 90s

Shocky1
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syracuse high octane aerial passing attack:

the orange's qb1 kyle mccord is the top passing (not overall) qb the bears will be tested against during the 2024 season, mccord can make all the throws all over the field

this will be a battle of strength vs strength: syracuse's explosive passing game vs the TAKERS

wr1 oronde gadsden ii (above last name misspelled by the acc staff in honoring him as the acc receiver of the week) is a nightmare match up kinda like jack endries, too fast for linebackers in coverage & too big (with length) against defensive backs

this game could be decided by special teams play, can coach so'oto & coach longwell dial up a 3rd straight outperformance of the opponent's special teams this saturday at memorial stadium at 12:00??
Shocky1
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what liam is leaving out is that the cal sidelines went absolutely ape**** with pandemonium celebrating highlighted by emotional leader david reese telling the wake forest student section multiple times to **** off!!

yeah vote for andrew "football first" mcgraw for athletic director & get rid of worthless bureaucrats like jimbo, markeisha & jenny!!



this is cal football (smarter than ur average bear)#
Shocky1
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Shocky1 said:

https://instagr.am/p/DBeX3aHNqt3
let's be very clear about this, a pre season heisman trophy candidate who the coaching/medical staff deemed healthy to play averaged LESS than a yard a carry against a mid major defense decimated by late season injuries that resulted in them playing 2 offensive players on d

oregon state: 11 carries for 10 yards, .9 yard average

prediction: if bloesch keeps doing the same old **** & hoping for different results (which is the definition of insanity), wake forest is gonna stop all 5 of ott's 1st quarter predictable interior runs for less than 7 yards total at which point ott should selfishly just sit out the rest of the game/season & prepare for the 2025 nfl draft

a season on the brink (r wilcox, bloesch & thompson ADAPTABLE to change??)#
jaydn ott update:

wake forest: 14 carries for 26 yards, 1.6 yards average

keep in mind the only play during the entire game that ott wuz not pummeled by the demon deacon d (which is scrappy but lacking +1 athletes kinda like the stanford d) wuz the PITCHOUT that resulted in jaydn running to the far edge in OPEN space for a touchdown without being touched by nobody that wuz called back by an unnecessary holding penalty (which is a function of continued abysmal blocking by cal's wide receivers & tight ends)

did bloesch call another PITCHOUT??

NOPE!!

and that's how u get a preseason heisman candidate rushing for an average of 1.6 yards per rush with predictable running him into interior telephone poles over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

2024 season: 71 carries for 169 yards, 2.4 yards average

the truth of the matter is NONE of wilcox, bloesch or thompson despite their DECADES of coaching football have evah coached up a running back who wuz drafted in the nfl draft

why is that the case?

not gonna answer that but the staple play of the los angeles rams running back coach ron gould getting 10 of his bears collegiate backs drafted wuz PITCHOUTS to the edges in wide open space
https://www.therams.com/team/coaches-roster/ron-gould#:~:text=the%20running%20backs.-,Ron%20Gould%20enters%20his%20second%20season%20with%20the%20Los%20Angeles,in%20the%20Pac%2D12%20Conference.



coaching malpractice in berkeley (costing jaydn millions of dollars in the 2025 nfl draft)#
Shocky1
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^ it's a shame shocky isn't asking question today at the coaches media interviews instead of the candy azz soft low testerone cal media:

cal media: coach, what will be the team uniform color combos for syracuse?

wilcox: blah blah blah

shocky: why is that you, bloesch & thompson have been coaching for decades and never had a player drafted in the national football league??

wilcox: blah blah blah

cal media: it seems like fernando brings a lot of positive energy to the team, is that true?

bloesch: blah blah blah

shocky: the only play of the season where jaydn ott hasn't not been ******* pummeled was the PITCHOUT during the first series of the wake forest game, in that it's the only play of the season where he's not been touched by a defender why didn't you call multiple more PITCHOUTS??

bloesch: blah blah blah

shocky: why the **** do you continue to call dangerous interior run calls for jaydn instead of setting him loose on the edges in wide open so he can be OFF TO THE RACES??

bloesch: blah blah blah

shocky: what do toler and saffell say to you regarding the bears wide receivers and tight ends abject failure to BLOCK in the run game??

bloesch: blah blah blah

cal media: what food/refreshments will be served in the press booth on saturday?

wilcox: blah blah blah

shocky: do you think based upon his 71 carries for 169 yards and a 2.4 yards average this season despite being a preseason heisman candidate that it's possible that ott will sue you for coaching malpractice after costing him millions of dollars in the 2025 nfl draft??

cal athletic dept rep: ok, we're done here


Econ141
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Easily could have had us at 9-0. His Birthday gift was this season's schedule and the talent the NIL dollars delivered. No cake for him!
82gradDLSdad
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Econ141 said:



Easily could have had us at 9-0. His Birthday gift was this season's schedule and the talent the NIL dollars delivered. No cake for him!
But he's so young. Plenty of time to learn.
Shocky1
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Econ141
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An absolute travesty that we are not more successful putting RBs into the league during Wilcox tenure. Someone tell the staff that RBs should be coached to avoid tacklers, not run to their open arms as of its their mother's.
Shocky1
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kudos to jeff faraudo on asking jaydn ott lack of production questions, interesting how mike bloesch mentions he's looking to do things "differently schematically" then later that he's "confident in the schematics"

very interesting commentary by coach re: the offensive line & the multiple starting lines up as the key reason from his persepctive for the lack of run game cohesion

shocky disagrees, schemes don't matter if jaydn got more SPEED than an edge defender in open space on PITCHOUTS!!

look mike is a really really smart guy but he's also really really stubborn which can be both a good & bad thing, ima still all in with coach bloesch & what he overall brings to the program

shocky is gonna be at his perch saturday at noon at memorial stadium, will this be the week that jaydn is OFF TO THE RACES??



when are our wichita linemen gonna show up??
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